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View Full Version : Parents and health - whose tried?



Hazerboy
09-11-2007, 09:13 PM
My father is 53 years old and 50 some lbs overweight. Every couple of weeks he talks big about how he's going to loose weight and always pushes his "start time" forward; when he was unemployed *diet day* would start when he got a job, when he got a job he was going to hit the weights when summer hit, when summer hit it was too hot and getting in shape would start in September (Whadaya know! Its september now and his big talk is seemingly forgotten. I'd ask if he's gotten alzheimers if I thought he would laugh).

Anyways, I'm sick of it. I've sat down with him and introduced him to fitday (Fitday, Lehi. Lehi, Fitday), and instructed him to record his food for a week and I'd work with him from there. I hounded him all week about it, to the point where I felt like I was the parent and he was the five year old. End of the weak hits and I check fitday. He didn't make it past day one. I was furious.

From that point on I've given up faith in his weight loosing boasts. For awhile I was optimistic about him picking up cycling--he bought the helmet, the gloves, the pants, the bike, and 6 months later he stops because its too cold.

Hasn't picked it up sense, and now we have a very expensive Cannondale in our garage (alongside our weightlifting cage and 400 lbs of Olympic weights which he bought 6 years ago. Fortunately, I put that to good use).

Now I'm to the point where I really don't care, except for I'm a bit worried about him. He gets injured easily when he takes a bad step or we're moving furniture. He's sick almost all winter. He overheates during yard work while I'm still merrily truckin. In short, I hope to have kids some day and I want him to be around to see them.

Has anyone else here experienced similar situations with family members? How do you fix this motivation problem?

TonyCap
09-11-2007, 09:44 PM
Why don't you work out with him. I know my father was like that too. Now I take him to the gym with me. We work out and talk, and before you know it he is having a good time.

monkeyarms
09-11-2007, 09:55 PM
The bottom line is you can't make someone do something that they don't want to do. They may talk about how they would like to do it, but they will only do it when they are truly ready and want to....which may be never.

You can and should encourage them, but don't expect a miracle.

It's frustrating, but it's the truth.

KingWilder
09-12-2007, 07:36 AM
The bottom line is you can't make someone do something that they don't want to do. They may talk about how they would like to do it, but they will only do it when they are truly ready and want to....which may be never.

You can and should encourage them, but don't expect a miracle.

It's frustrating, but it's the truth.

:withstupi

sad, but true

Fuzzy
09-12-2007, 07:51 AM
My mom just quit smoking, cold turke, been off for bout 2 weeks.

I cant remember a day in my life when my mother has been this cranky energetic and alive.

Im so proud of her.

RedSpikeyThing
09-12-2007, 07:54 AM
Amen. You can't make the man do what he doesn't want to do.

On the flip side, you should ease him into it. Don't make him track on fitday at first. It's a big commitment that a lot of people, including your father, can't make. See if you can get him to maybe write down WHAT he eats and you can ball park how bad his diet is and where he can improve. Start with small improvements, like switch diet soda, or eating one less fast food meal per week.

In terms of physical activity, you have find something he enjoys and give him a challenge. If he likes golf, go to the driving range. If he likes swimming, go to the pool. You get the idea.

Hazerboy
09-12-2007, 12:37 PM
I would workout with him but I'm kind of a night owl, I wake up at noon (haven't started school yet) and because of the heat I usually work out at around 6 or 7. He's the exact opposite--fired up and ready to go at 6AM.

I've tried small improvements but I have a hard time getting them to stick. He drinks diet soda but is completely addicted to it. We'll switch out all of his pasta for a vegetable and he forgets a week later.

RedSpikeyThing
09-12-2007, 12:52 PM
Ok, diet soda isn't the end of the world by any stretch....it's 0 calories, so that's fine. Trading pasta for veggies is a good one too. You should remind him whenever he forgets. Consider it a cheat meal.

Maybe you should set an example and make the effort to workout with him in the morning. Him seeing you willing to get up at 6 AM (or make a compromise and go at 9 AM) would probably motivate him.

emjlr3
09-14-2007, 07:49 AM
the big thing is results, and results = the motivation they need to keep it up

your goal is just to get them doing things until they start seeing results, the rest, hopefully, will fall into place

atleast that is how it was with my momma

brownbear
09-15-2007, 08:35 PM
I had a similar issue with my parents. I tried the track everything on fitday.com approach with them, but it was too much of a life change for someone who is not truly motivated. I began to ease them into it by taking a walk after dinner (1-2 miles) or doing some light weights during commercials of TV shows.

After they noticed a difference in their daily energy levels from doing activities, they started becoming more self motivated and began regular routines.

Alex.V
09-15-2007, 10:10 PM
Fitday? You serious? ****, I think it's a worthless waste of time and I'm actually into this stuff.

Baby steps first, man. The older people get, the more set in their ways they get. You're trying to undo quite a few years of conditioning. Your job isn't to nag or be a parent. It's to be a concerned son who has some good ideas that could help his dad live longer. You want him to be around, make sure he knows that. You care. Make sure he knows that. Help him cook some better meals. Work out with him. Hell, find a sport he used to like and get him to chuck the ball around with you.

But whatever you do, don't be obnoxious about it. And for the love of god don't ask an old man to start obsessive-compulsively entering in every piece of food that goes into his mouth into a god damn web site.

Sensei
09-15-2007, 10:18 PM
My father is in his mid-sixties and did his first full marathon about two-years ago, right after swimming 2.4 miles and biking 112 miles in an Ironman Triathlon... yeah, he's kind of a freak.

My mother, on the other hand, isn't afraid of hard work, but almost never exercises.

RedSpikeyThing
09-16-2007, 09:36 AM
You want him to be around, make sure he knows that. You care. Make sure he knows that. Help him cook some better meals. Work out with him. Hell, find a sport he used to like and get him to chuck the ball around with you.


:withstupi:

Sensei
09-16-2007, 09:38 AM
:withstupi:Yeah, Belial's advice is great - reread it.