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Saiyajin
10-30-2007, 07:06 PM
I need help. I have a friend who seems to always get scared when it comes to pushing himself. He's a good guy, very knowledgable and trains really hard, but when it comes to pushing himself to new limits, he starts second guessing himself. I mean he'll rag on me for training with someone who is "not hardcore" or that I don't know much, but when he comes down to train with me, he's scared to try and do more than he think he can handle. The last time he came down, I had to constantly ride him to attempt a new PR that the said is impossible. Guess what, he did the new PR in the bench press and the rack pull that day. Right now we are even in strength and we are rack pulling 450lbs for five reps. I told him that next week I'll pull 5 plates for one rep if he does. Guess what, he doesn't think he can do it. It boggles my mind that he sets these limits on himself. He sometimes blames his environment, but I work out in any ordinary place with someone who isn't nearly as strong as me and I keep pushing and making gains pound by pound. I mean he even had to check a one rep calculator to see if he can do it. I'm not even throwing unreasonable numbers out there. It's not as if I'm asking him to add another 100 pounds to the lift. Should I try to push him or just give up and just focus on me.

nhlfan
10-30-2007, 07:21 PM
always focus on yourself first.

if he's more comfortable doing less-intense stuff, you can try to help him, but at the end of the day it's his problem.

Saiyajin
10-30-2007, 07:27 PM
I know what your saying, but it's not that he's not intense. He just gets scared to really push himself.

RhodeHouse
10-30-2007, 08:28 PM
Don't waste your time on him. Some people have it. He doesn't. It doesn't mean he's a bad guy. He just doesn't have what it takes to lift heavy. Don't let him hold you back. His negative attitude towards himself wil eventually rub off on you.

Chris Rodgers
10-30-2007, 08:53 PM
Don't waste your time on him. Some people have it. He doesn't. It doesn't mean he's a bad guy. He just doesn't have what it takes to lift heavy. Don't let him hold you back. His negative attitude towards himself wil eventually rub off on you.

:withstupi:


Next time you do the rack pulls throw the 500 on and pull that *****. If he doesn't try it, then he is probably scared. Having a training partner with similar goals who is close in strength can be very good for your training, but like you said he might not have the balls for it.

Saiyajin
10-30-2007, 09:01 PM
Rhodehouse: the good news is that no one's negative attitude would ever rub off on me. I always look to exceed what I am capable of regardless of what people believe, even if it seems impossible. But thanks for the input. Any input is always appreciated. I still believe if he can understand that he does have the potential, he will do amazing things. He just needs to stop doubting himself. I guess I feel that as a friend, and all the hard times I give him about his doubts put aside, I should try and push him to reach his potential.

RhodeHouse
10-30-2007, 10:55 PM
You got it, or you don't

C.Pop
10-31-2007, 05:11 AM
I agree with Rhodes. You have to seperate yourself from negative people, they'll just bring you down. SFW and stay positive.

Ryano
10-31-2007, 05:19 AM
I think you should keep him around. He would probably make a good spotter/loader. You probably don't need anyone to push you anyway.

drew
10-31-2007, 06:11 AM
If he's afraid to lift heavy, he isn't right for the sport. Do what you want, but eventually you'll either get tired of hearing him complain or you'll notice that you're not making any progress. It sneaks up on you, but having a training partner who is afraid to push heavy weights is worse than training alone.

What happens when you go for a big PR and he's standing there doubting you?

Saiyajin
10-31-2007, 06:59 AM
The good news is people doubting my ability will only push me to show them up. But, he has supported me with my lifts and is genuinely happy that I'm pushing more and more. It's his own ability that he doubts.

RhodeHouse
10-31-2007, 08:52 AM
Well, you have all the answers already. Not sure why you posted your question. Everybody except one, said to get rid of him. Have fun with it. It's not my lifting.

Scooter
10-31-2007, 09:39 AM
Does he have the same goals as you? It sounds like he is going to the gym just for the sake of going to the gym.

RhodeHouse
10-31-2007, 10:31 AM
Scooter, where are you from in CT? Why aren't you training at Southside?

Scooter
10-31-2007, 12:07 PM
Scooter, where are you from in CT? Why aren't you training at Southside?

I'll be heading down in the next few weeks for one of the Friday ME bench days

drew
10-31-2007, 12:14 PM
Scooter, let me know when you are going to come down and we could ride together. Gas is expensive.

Saiyajin
10-31-2007, 08:03 PM
Rhodehouse, I know I don't have all the answers. I just thought maybe I should try and push him a bit. I still have a long way to go in my own journey of knowledge. I think you're right though and I need to really look at what I'm doing first and foremost. And to answer you question on why I posted: Sometimes it's hard to see what's infront of you, but others can easily take a step back and look at the big picture.

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I do take it to heart and appreciate it. At first I was skeptical of this site, but I really see that there is a brotherhood here. Even though we look at things differently, people are still willing to help each other out.

Killa Kurt
10-31-2007, 08:08 PM
I need help. I have a friend who seems to always get scared when it comes to pushing himself. He's a good guy, very knowledgable and trains really hard, but when it comes to pushing himself to new limits, he starts second guessing himself. I mean he'll rag on me for training with someone who is "not hardcore" or that I don't know much, but when he comes down to train with me, he's scared to try and do more than he think he can handle. The last time he came down, I had to constantly ride him to attempt a new PR that the said is impossible. Guess what, he did the new PR in the bench press and the rack pull that day. Right now we are even in strength and we are rack pulling 450lbs for five reps. I told him that next week I'll pull 5 plates for one rep if he does. Guess what, he doesn't think he can do it. It boggles my mind that he sets these limits on himself. He sometimes blames his environment, but I work out in any ordinary place with someone who isn't nearly as strong as me and I keep pushing and making gains pound by pound. I mean he even had to check a one rep calculator to see if he can do it. I'm not even throwing unreasonable numbers out there. It's not as if I'm asking him to add another 100 pounds to the lift. Should I try to push him or just give up and just focus on me.


If he doesn't push himself, why bother having him as a partner? For a spotter or to load your plates? You can have any tool do that. You need someone to constantly push your #'s, the feeling like someone is always chasing your numbers down, or trying to pull further away from you. Like the old saying goes....Go Hard or Go Home.

Saiyajin
10-31-2007, 08:15 PM
Killa Kurt. He's not a regular training partner, we only workout once in a blue moon, but he is a friend.

Killa Kurt
10-31-2007, 08:21 PM
Killa Kurt. He's not a regular training partner, we only workout once in a blue moon, but he is a friend.

Who cares, if you're friend was a mechanic and he kept ****ing up your car, you wouldn't keep bringing it to him, just because he is your friend, would you?

Find a good training partner, someone who will push YOU, trust us on this one you'll thank us after it's all said and done.

Sensei
10-31-2007, 09:46 PM
He might change, but he probably won't. It's a nice ego boost to train with people who are weak, but it's not going to help you long term - trust me (and everyone else who've already told you so) on that.

Interesting thread btw.

tomv
10-31-2007, 11:22 PM
If you only work out once in a blue moon I'm not quite sure what the problem is.

Because of the low frequency of him coming along I don't think you could rely on him that much as a training partner. If he wants to lift light... let him. You keep lifting your heavy weights, he keeps loading your weights and lifting his light weights.

If he rags on someone for being "not hardcore" tell him to add weight, and if he doesn't he's not "hardcore". If he in turn says "I don't think I can do it" reply quite simply "hardcore is pushing yourself to try and move the **** without knowing 100% you will get it"

Saiyajin
11-01-2007, 11:02 PM
tomv, I like that quote.
"hardcore is pushing yourself to try and move the **** without knowing 100% you will get it"
It's something to live by, in my opinion. Glad you posted it.

drew
11-02-2007, 05:16 AM
I think hardcore is more like pushing a weight you've never done before and KNOWING that you'll get it. There's no try.

tomv
11-02-2007, 02:50 PM
I think hardcore is more like pushing a weight you've never done before and KNOWING that you'll get it. There's no try.

Saiyajin work off this quote.