Will you find that special somebody?

[d'Anconia]

Well I've been thinking about my life and things in general a lot lately. I'm 22 and all throughout high school and most of college I was having a decent amount of one-night stands mixed in with a few relationships. Finally though I've come to the point where I'm really looking to start dating more seriously. I've had pretty intense standards for whether or not a girl is dating-material for me.

Well the time has come where I really like this girl A LOT, I've hung out with her a bit and I've finally decided that I'm going to start dating her and see where things take me. I really can't even remember the last time I liked a girl this much and been able to "make them mine" in the past. It's usually been something that just falls right in my lap and I start to like them perhaps after we've already started getting intimate (not something I really recommend though).

So here I am for once actually putting in some real effort and she's reciprocating and just in general it's an exhilarating experience. I've never been good at making myself vulnerable but I have been able to do it recently and it is finally paying off. I won't lie it can be nerve-racking at times but I realized that it's the price I have to pay if I am going to get the object of my affections... I just couldn't let someone else beat me to it. If someone is going to be dating her then there is no better candidate than myself and I would never want to be the guy talking about what "could have" or "should have" happened.

Now I know things might not work out in the end but I think this is the first time in my life where I've actually wondered if she's the girl for me... the first one who actually might have the integrity to be the girl I end up marrying one day. Again I know I'm only 22 but you never know. So I'm just wondering if some of you guys have stories from your own lives about either the girl that got away or better yet success stories about going "all in" and getting your prom queen.

[youngguns]

be careful, making yourself vulnerable can hurt... bad. but doesnt it feel great (the situation you're describing)?

[WBBIRL]

Making yourself vulnerable can get you hurt, but you won't truly know what love is until you can.

I've never had much success with the women for one reason or another, most of them very stupid reasons that had to do with mental mind****s I put on myself. So the few I've dated each sorta had to mature me in leaps and bounds in that respect. The first girl was like dream girl hot, and how I ended up dating her I'll never know. That fell apart pretty quick and I never really felt it (meaning she never really reciprocated how deeply I felt). I mean sure we had good times together but it just wasn't all there.

Then the second girl was like what you described, she fell into my lap more or less then I kinda took the "hey, she don't look too bad and your single anyways so why not approach". That wasn't a good basis for things and we ended up splitting fairly early on.

Then this last one. I felt so much that she was the one, and I wanted her forever so badly. I even felt for a good while that she felt that way too, the way she acted and the passion involved with our relationship. Then one day it just seemed that she didn't want it anymore, out of ****en no where.

I've had a few girls hit on me in the one night stand kinda deal, about half being uggo's and a few very very brief times where I'd date a girl for like a week and then have it end.

I want that girl in my life, but to be honest I don't know what I want right now. Sure I'd like that have a girl that I cared about, but nothing very serious. I have a lot left to do in my youth that I won't be able to later on. I want to do things now that I can't when I'm in my late 20's or early 30's and have kids, stuff you can't do when your married like say screw it and decided to go on a roadtrip to nowhere for no reason.

In your situation, just let it play out. Don't force it because you feel for this one for once. You will know in your heart whats right.

I don't know for me, its hard to say. I'm a young man that likes to hit the bar scene, party it up and have a good time. Doing pretty much what I want when I want and although I want a special lady, I pretty much gotta do what I'm doing now because later on it wont be possible.

[Sensei]

Plenty of great ones that got away... My wife is the one that put up with me the longest and fought hard enough to make me change - long enough for me to become a better man and thank God for that.

[left hook]

I been with mine for 8 months and I wouldn't be what I am or who I am without her. One night stands are dumb they won't fill anything in your life. Being in a good relationship makes you feel better than anything. I wake up happy no matter what just because I have someone so great in my life.

[jleland]

I'll tell ya man, I was adrunk for about 10 years and had plenty of 1 night stands. In those 10 years, I had 3 different women swear up and down that they were pregnant by me and I was ready to man up and handle business, but none of them were mine. Now I have a good woman that I've been with for 5 years. I had a hard time trusting women after the pregnancy ordeals, but I just let go and threw myself into this relationship. We now have a little boy and girl. I've also been sober for 5 years thanks to this woman and couldn't be happier. So life is a risk, you just have to take chances. I'm glad I took a chance with this one. Don't be scared to give in, we learn from our bad experiences. Pain is only temporary. So jump in there and find out if this is your "Prom Queen".

[Travis Bell]

I found my girl a few years ago and although we're not married (we both need to be done with college so we can pay the bills) but we both know its going in that direction. She's the best thing in my life. Like Sensi said, she's the one that fought to make me a better person. She saw what I can be and constantly pushes me to be that person. One thing I did different though with this girl was I didn't just "let the relationship go where it took me" I had a consistent plan. I spent alot of time getting to know her so that I didn't waste alot of time if she wasn't the right one. Although in this case, the more I got to know her the more I liked her

[d'Anconia]

Wow this is a pretty uplifting thread so far. I like it!

[Relentless]

It takes strength to be vulnerable. Congratulations. Anyone unwilling to be hurt will never have meaningful relationships.

For myself, the 'fish or cut bait' timeline was always 3 months... and I only ever got to that length of time with 1 woman before I met my wife. Most girls/women I got bored/tired/unhappy with in a month or less.

Here's a tip... if every day/week/month seems better than the last, that's a good sign. If there's a "honeymoon period" and then things start to suck, it's not likely to last.

Travis Bell is exactly right. Don't just "let the relationship go where it [takes you]". If you're serious about someone, WORK at the relationship and exploring it so you can validate that it's for real. If both of you invest time and energy into each other and the relationship, it has a much greater chance of success. People that "fall out of love"? They're not working at it. Love is a verb, baby.

R
(married over 13 years and happier every damn year that goes by)

[CleverName]

I haven't had a girlfriend since high school and don't foresee myself ever being with someone again.

[scission]

In my experience I'll give you this advice. Be prepared for it to be over at any moment, but enjoy it while it lasts.

[Brawl]

I found my true love ... he lives in california . He doesnt know that I want him . His name starts with "H" and ends with "atred" .

[left hook]

I been with mine only 8 months but we were together a long time hwne neither of us had job and we were done with school for the most part. We'd spend nearly everyday together for usually 5-6 hours a day then the 3 hour phone calls. But the weird thing is we never got tired of each other and if we couldn't see eash other even one day, oh all hell broke lose ( not us being mad at each other). We always got closer. We over came a couple of incidents but that builds you up. Like said before if your around them constantly and don't get annoyed or frustrated on a regular basis you need to continue to see where it takes you. great thread

[left hook]

wow i made some typos...to lazy to edit

[CrazyK]

I found my true love ... he lives in california . He doesnt know that I want him . His name starts with "H" and ends with "atred" .Yeah? So who's pitching and who's catching?

[BFGUITAR]

Sorry to be a downer but I have never found a girl who did anything for me emotionally. I have never really been in a real relationship but rather fool around with friends of mine. It's an interesting relationship.

Personally I think girls take up too much time. I have my own life... last thing I need right now is to think about someone else's.

[WBBIRL]

I've met very few I've felt something for, but those girls are out there some place.