Relationship Counseling

[method115]

Me and my gf have been having some serious problems lately and I thought it was a good idea that we get some counseling. I haven't looked around a great deal but what I did find were some pretty damn high prices, $175 a session and things like that. I was just wondering if these prices are extreme. Has anyone else done relationship counseling and did it help?

[blackboard]

I wouldn't spend anything on just a GF.

[method115]

I wouldn't spend anything on just a GF.

We actually have a 5 year old together and have been together 6 years I guess I should have added that. I want to marry her but not with the problems we have going on.

[MillerTime1485]

I dont beleive in someone you dont even know "fixing" your relationship.. all they do is tell you thing you already know but are afraid to admitt to yourself or your significant other. If she's important to you then go out of you way and bust your balls to make things right.

[blackboard]

^^^^I agree, the Dr phil of the world always just use good old common sense when giving advice. I'm curious without getting into details what exactly is the problem.

[Sidior]

I dont beleive in someone you dont even know "fixing" your relationship.. all they do is tell you thing you already know but are afraid to admitt to yourself or your significant other. If she's important to you then go out of you way and bust your balls to make things right.


^^^^I agree, the Dr phil of the world always just use good old common sense when giving advice. I'm curious without getting into details what exactly is the problem.

Have either of you tried counselling or are you just pulling this out of your ass?

[method115]

Have either of you tried counselling or are you just pulling this out of your ass?

Thats really what I'm wondering.

The problem is many many problems, really don't want to go into detail. I've been trying to avoid counseling cause like you guys I thought it was pointless. At this stage though i realize it might actually help if we could have sort of a middle man to listen to each of us. Alot of it stems from child hood stuff like most problems do.

[blackboard]

Have either of you tried counselling or are you just pulling this out of your ass?

I'm pulling it out of the old common sense box. I been around the block once or twice. I don't have a degree in psychology but back in the days I use to always prove to my lady I could give Dr. Phil exact advice for each show and 90% of the time I was right. As stated earlier its better in the long run to just take off the relationship blinders and figure out things for yourself. A good % of relationship problems are 1+1 type matters.

[youngguns]

while im pretty against couple counseling i think you should still give it a shot if its the last thing you have left.

[method115]

while im pretty against couple counseling i think you should still give it a shot if its the last thing you have left.

Thats kind of the situation were in.

[blackboard]

Thats kind of the situation were in.

You mind telling your ages?

[nhlfan]

Try it a couple of times. At worst, you'll still be showing her that you're willing to still invest time, money, and effort into the relationship.

[smokinHawk]

hit her over the head with a club, drag by hair, problem solved........

[Cirino83]

I'm pulling it out of the old common sense box. I been around the block once or twice. I don't have a degree in psychology but back in the days I use to always prove to my lady I could give Dr. Phil exact advice for each show and 90% of the time I was right. As stated earlier its better in the long run to just take off the relationship blinders and figure out things for yourself. A good % of relationship problems are 1+1 type matters.

x2

I have never tried counseling, and probably never would either. I personally think it's a waste of money to talk to someone who gives generic answers back. Save your money, sit with her and let it all out.

[ZenMonkey]

I'm pulling it out of the old common sense box. I been around the block once or twice. I don't have a degree in psychology but back in the days I use to always prove to my lady I could give Dr. Phil exact advice for each show and 90% of the time I was right. As stated earlier its better in the long run to just take off the relationship blinders and figure out things for yourself. A good % of relationship problems are 1+1 type matters.


^^^^I agree, the Dr phil of the world always just use good old common sense when giving advice. I'm curious without getting into details what exactly is the problem.

Really? You probably should not give advice if you dont know what you are talking about. And using Dr. Phil as an example to prove your ability via comparison does not mean a thing.




I dont beleive in someone you dont even know "fixing" your relationship.. all they do is tell you thing you already know but are afraid to admitt to yourself or your significant other. If she's important to you then go out of you way and bust your balls to make things right.

you are pulling this out of the blue.



To the OP:
Every relationship, whether it be parental, peer, or romantic has its ups and downs. The important thing to remember is that you love each other and the only thing you can do is to do right by your woman and your kid. Therapy will help both of you, just be sure to share your growth together. I think everyone would benefit from some type of therapy

[Cirino83]

method,

basically your going to get responses from the pro-counseling and anti-counseling sides. Although I am on the anti-side, if you have exhausted all your options maybe it may be worth it. Give it a try, see what happens I guess....but damn 175 for a session is steep. Call me on 3-way I'll listen to both of you for free.

[ZenMonkey]

most insurance companies covers therapy, don't they?

[Travis Bell]

$175 isn't through the roof for couseling. It really depends on the area you live in. Like all other professions though, there are good counselors and bad ones. Given that you have kids involved, I'd say go ahead and try the counseling

lol at the Dr. Phil comments though. If I'm not mistaken he doesn't even have a degree in counseling. While I do think the guy gives good advice, thats not very typical of most counseling practices

[MillerTime1485]

Zenmonkey I never said that I wasn't pulling it out of the blue, its just a personal beleif. I just feel that if a relationship cant be fixed between the two people who are together then its not meant to be. I'm not asking you to agree.. just saying

[bill]

You may be able to find a mediator that would help you out for free. I'm not sure how you find such people maybe yellow pages. Someone I know used to do that, but I don't what they mediate? lol

[blackboard]

Really? You probably should not give advice if you dont know what you are talking about. And using Dr. Phil as an example to prove your ability via comparison does not mean a thing.
I'm really not here to convince you. My point I was trying to make about Dr phil and other psychologist is that relationship problems isn't rocket science. I will even compare relationship problems with weight lifting advice on this forum.


Hey I'm 120lb and I eat everything in site but I can grow?
My Max deadlift is 315lb and 200lb Bench, why aren't my arms 20''?

Most experienced non-BS lifters could solve each question in 1 sentence. The Problem I have with psychologist is letting you spend hours upon hours spilling your guts and $1000 dollars later you get the exact advice guys like myself could of gave you in 2 minutes.

Don't get me wrong,If someone is trying to get over childhood problems, death in the family etc then go for it but if BF-GF aren't getting along I feel the money is better saved because the solution usually involves just taking off the blinders.

[Travis Bell]

hence why guys go to school to get doctorate degrees in the stuff. exactly, common sense

[MillerTime1485]

Getting back on topic.. if you feel counselling will help then by all means go ahead. It might work, it might not you wont know until you try I suppose.

[bjohnso]

Get counseling. The point of a counselor is to get you to bring up topics or admit things about yourself in a neutral setting. At worst you'll be out a few hundred bucks, at best you'll salvage the relationship with the mother of your child. It's a small price to pay.

[JSully]

I went through pre-marital counseling with my fiance, just to improve things and learn more about each other. It really helped alot. It tought us certain ways to open the line of communication better, as well as how to not keep things hidden inside and to also express what you want/need of the other person without hurting feelings. All this just from a pastor, not a phychiatrist..

If you're having problems, and don't know how to fix them, try counseling. If it doesn't work, you're out some money and done with your woman. If it does work, you could end up happy the rest of your life. Take a shot at it.

[method115]

You mind telling your ages?

I'm 24 in august shes 22. I've looked into the counseling thing to see if my insurance would cover it but there not real detailed in the documentation. I'll have to call them directly.

I think were going to give it a try, I've been looking at churches as well since they tend to be cheaper.

[bjohnso]

You have nothing to lose.

[gamodye]

i agree, i hope all goes well and you get things sorted, remember, when your in the counselling place, tell your feelings, or your GF will restrict telling hers. your only gonna settle things if you let it all out...

anyway, good luck, hope things go good, and you have a happy relationship again

[method115]

i agree, i hope all goes well and you get things sorted, remember, when your in the counselling place, tell your feelings, or your GF will restrict telling hers. your only gonna settle things if you let it all out...

anyway, good luck, hope things go good, and you have a happy relationship again

I planned on it if I'm going to spend that much money I'm going to make sure I take it seriously. Thanks wishing me well, I hope things work out as well.

[JoseAlonso]

Have sex more often, it usually works if it's good enough. That's just something I'd try before spending $175 dollars on a therapy session.

[antek]

I dont beleive in someone you dont even know "fixing" your relationship.. all they do is tell you thing you already know but are afraid to admitt to yourself or your significant other. If she's important to you then go out of you way and bust your balls to make things right.

exactly, counseling is a bit of a waste.. you can just do sessions with your and her friends where you just get personal opinions from yours and her friends, that would help more I think, seeing as how they would know more about you, and probably give a better opinion, especially with no money involved.

I had a similar experience where after 3 years my ex gf wanted to go to counseling, I never went, I know i'll be spending money on therapy later, why start when I'm 25 , hah.

But 6 years is a long time, keep it going, good history there, and sounds like you are really into her, good luck. :)