ThunderCat30
09-21-2008, 10:29 PM
Haven't been here in awhile, but here's my 5 month progress report I want to share with everyone.
Last time I was here was seeking tips on dieting down, and training
due to uncontroable weight gain.
For the past 9 years of my life at 30yo, my suffering of
phsyical appearance due to an extreme thyroid condition
is almost over.
In the past 4 months since May 2008, I've dropped from 230lbs
to arbout 192lbs at 5'10". I now fit in a 34" pant/jean with about
half an inch to spare. I haven't lost any strength maybe just a bit,
I look much bigger because I'm much leaner now. I'm still continuing
to drop fat every week. Just in early mid July I was 207lbs and my
waist was much bigger, and not much definition.
I consider this a major accomplish after what I'm about to
share with you, will be motivational for anyone.
I will post photo's when I'm completely finished this body
transformation as I want to share this with people. My
gym has even asked for my photo's to set up my portfolio
and to use it as motivation for clients including my own.
I'm not embarassed anymore and want people to see what
can be done, and what can happen to someone when
a medical condition takes over their life and what they're
normally used to.
Please bare with me as I really want to share my story
with this 9yr battle. how it can affect one's mind set
personal/social life, feelings, and motivation to continue
with training/dieting.
About 11yrs ago I was diagnosed with almost Graves
Disease (Extreme Hyper Thyroidism).
I was a 240lbs athlete playing football. My Position
was Full Back position at the university level, never
taken a steroid in my life and had a 1-rep max 405lb
natural bench (with a spotter's hands under the bar
for "moral" support if you will), a 1-rep max 495lbs
roman deadlift with simple straps and belt, and a
515lb squat for 1-rep max.
My 40-yard dash was about 4.75 to 4.85 depending on
the day.
After the 2000 season was finished, during the winter
I started to not feel well, started by hot sweats, and
needed over the counter sleep aids. Then 1 turned
into 2, then 3 and 4 etc....
I just thought I was stressed out with school, and my
girlfriend at the time was causing some problems, trouble
at home with my father's GF and her daughter.
Eventually I got to a point I wasn't sleeping at all during
the night. I was like a zombie during the day. Eventually
my sleeps started to occur during the day and would
sleep 12-15hrs a day and up all night.
People thought I was on drugs or something.
Eventually I started losing weight as much as 10lbs
in a week!!!!
I just let time pass thinking it would pass and everyone
goes through these things.
It got to a point where I'd be trying to train which once
brought me relaxation, was causing me more stress as
each week that went by I was losing strength on every
lift as much as 5-10lbs per lift.
I was still eating 6 to 7 times per day and still losing weight.
It got to a point where I dropped from 240lbs to around 180lbs
in about 4 months and couldn't even bench a plate.
My girlfriend and everyone else started to say I was looking
like a bit of a skeleton but I didn't want to believe it. I could
still have erections, she'd still want to have sex with me so
I just thought was in an over trained state and took
a month off from the gym.
I tried to go back but started to lose more weight.
I had to quit work and drop out of school that year
as I was too burnt out, nervous, anxious, hot sweats,
etc....
Finally my Mom (who's been hospitalized with Lupus
& Osteoporosis for about 30yrs) convinced me to go
to the doctor and get checked out.
They did a complete blood work and found that my
thyroid levels were through the roof at the "Graves
Disease" point.
My doctor started me on a medication to try and control
it to bring it back down to an equalibrium, but didn't work.
They finally decided in 2003 to give me radio active Iodine
to burn the thyroid. They told me I would have to wait 1yr
before I could even start the T4 Synthroid as that's how
long it would take to burn the gland completely.
Following this treatment, the first few months were very
good as I started feeling better and was able to go to the
gym, go out, be with my GF more often etc.... but still not
enough energy for school or work.
Eventually towards the middle of the summer of 2004 was
when the thyroid gland was completely burned and could
start medication on the T4 Synthroid.
At this point I was starting to return to normal activities
like University (no football unfortunately), working out
and was getting a lot of strength and size back. I kept
the same healthy diet, training and cardio levels.
I noticed by the fall of 2004 I was starting to get fatter
no matter what I did to stop it. The endocrinologist told
me that would happen for awhile until they found the
right dose of T4 Synthroid.
I started getting frustrated, I noticed I was beginning
to feel sluggish (also told was normal for awhile). My
girlfriend was starting to get frustrated with my weight
gain as she was always tall and athletic running track
at school.
She even came with me to the doctors to understand
but she just didn't get it.
Then other problems started with my sex drive (which
always high), I started having a great deal of problems
getting erect with her no matter what was done.
She was getting very pissed off at me, even told me that
I'm starting to "let myself go". She just didn't understand
the seriousness of the situation.
She eventually left me, said I was getting fat, always depressed,
that she didn't turn me on anymore, she wasn't physically
attracted to me anymore despite knowing everything that
the doctor explained to her.
That really took a huge chunk out of my soul.
At this point they started to raise the T4 Synthroid every
3 months. But the first few months I was in bed all the time,
just depressed and tired as hell.
After a few raises of medication, I started to feel better,
"things started working again", I was getting more energy,
started training again and losing a weight.
One thing I noticed when I got really fat, my friends
didn't seem to respect me the same way, and the treatment
I received from many women was pretty crappy. I'd
try to flirt with women at the gym who used to be friendly
with me, and I could tell they had a disgusted look on their
face like they just wanted me to leave.
That was pretty hard to deal with as I was always
attracted to tall athletic women, having played football
for many years and competed in MMA I got to meet
fit people.
I pretty much gave up dating for awhile, too depressing
as my physical appearance was really getting to me. It
really hit me hard knowing I just had to wait out the months
for the changes in the T4 Synthroid to be increased.
I might've still been much fatter (still a lot of muscle), but
Mr. Johnson started working again on a regular basis and my
sex drive was coming back every week.
This was by early 2005 January.
I gave up on going for athletic women as they were no
longer attracted to me. So I started going for the attractive
women who weren't into the gym at all. It was very hard
for me to deal with as they didn't understand it, and I wasn't
used to it.
I started dating, met some pretty crazy women, and unfortunately
some prudish women who I almost married 4yrs ago in 2004.
I had finished up with school in Political Science by then, and
took a Networking course which I've been working in network
support IT for about 5yrs now.
Things with my physique were some what stable at this point,
at around 207lbs and a 36" waist. As you can imagine, I still
wasn't happy with this and nothing I seemed to do helped.
In fall 2007 I had to take an anti-depressant as the endocrinologist
found that due to the T4 Synthroid, my body was producing
waaaaay too much Cortisol which was causing me to have
extreme anxiety, nervousness, even some paranoia.
I inquired with the endocrinologist about Therapy with a
psychologist and they said due to the blood test results,
I had no choice but to go on an anti-depressant.
Within a couple of months I stopped having the anxiety,
nervousness, and paranoia. But I gained about 45lbs
and about 7" to my waist up to about 43".
I was in denial about this for awhile and thought I was
just making gym gains.
In February, I joined a new gym (where I will be starting
a new career as a personal trainer soon). I met some
nice girls and women there who were into training. They
seemed nice and were friendly with me.
So I started to flirt with these 4 women to see if I could
start dating someone again. But I noticed they started to
become very unfriendly and had disgusted look on their
face when they looked at me up and down.
At that point, it just hit me that I needed to do something
about it.
By May 2008 when I first joined seeking advice, I made huge
changes to my diet, training style and increased cardio along
with a fat burner.
I dropped from 228lbs to 208lbs between May/08 and July/08
and was starting to feel much healthier and better about myself.
Clothes were starting to fit much better.
Around the end of June 2008, I started talking to an already
fit, tall, woman who is some what older than me.
We talked about everything, started really get to know one
another. I explained everything to her what I've been through
with my thyroid problem and weight management.
I explained that I had started a new regime and already lost
20lbs. She seemed cool with that.
Again our phone conversations were good, started getting
sexual and fun.
Finally we decided to meet and go out for dinner in early
July on a Saturday night. I was nicely dressed and she
looked really good. We got along the same in person as
we did on the phone which was great.
After dinner we went to a little bar where we were able
"get to know one another" a little better. Finally we left
in the early morning. We stopped near her place and started
to get hot and heavy.
I was really happy at this point, I was saying to myself,
finally this great person who's also fit is accepting me
for who I am knowing that I'm on a new regime to get
lean.
We were in my car for about 2hrs and it was truly an
unforgettable experience.
After that, we parted and started talking on the phone
again and all was good. We'd share what type of connection
we felt, along with starting to care for one another, feeling
when the other is thinking about you etc....
Other things happened in her life and she got sick from
a burnout at work so we didn't meet up the following
weekend as we had talked about possibly meeting up.
My first thought was that it was just a cop out. I heard
the "I'm sick" bit before when I was fatter last year
trying to date people. I knew they weren't interested
because I was fatter than I normally am.
However I gave her the benefit of the doubt and it did
turn out she was really sick.
Our talks were still personal and sexy.
Then all of a sudden part way during the week she says
she can't handle this. I was like WTF????
I let a few days pass and decide to call her up. She said
she felt how I was feeling and wasn't sure if she was
going to talk to me again. But seemed really happy to
hear from me.
Things picked up again, and finally we got together again,
went to a vitamin expo and then a movie where we fooled
around again.
She kept telling me what sexual things she wants to do with
me and how I turned her on.
Several days go by, all of a sudden, she calls me up and
tells me she has to be honest with me.
I have a strong connection to you, I'm into you a lot, but
I just can't get past the physical appearance thing with
you. If it wasn't for your body, I'd be seeing you right now.
I confronted her and questioned why she got physical with
me, no answer, but she said she just can't continue.
I once again explained that within a couple of months, I'm
going to be in really good shape. But this didn't make a
difference.
This really took a huuuuge chunk out of me, just like the
woman who left me when my thyroid problems were just
starting to be corrected, she left me because I was much
fatter.
I've only been rejected for my physical appearance by these
2 people. The rest that didn't work or worked out were due
to personalities which is fine by me.
Considering what I've been through the last 9yrs, it's really
harsh.
After this, during the later part of August and September
2008, I started having major self-body image issues again,
started to get depressed thinking about the past.
But I didn't let this stop me, I kept training and dieting.
Sure enough, I was losing about 3lbs of fat every week.
1hr of cardio every day, weights 4x's a week, stretching
4 x's a week.
This has brought me up until this point where I am now.
Now I have an average resting heart rate of 53bpm's,
at 192lbs with a just under 34" waist and all my strength.
I will be a 32 inch waist at around 185lbs by the time
I'm done.
I then plain to add muscle, but very slowly and keep the
cardio in just not as high and diet the same. That way
I know it will be lean tissue with a dry look.
The funny thing is, the 4 women who were disgusted with
me back in February 2008 had been starting to really come
on to me and pay attention to me. I've started wearing
Under Armor shirts which hug the body now that I'm much
more confident.
All 4 of them who are fit and athletic in one way or another
asked me out.
I said to myself, I have more pride than this and I'm not going
to bother with them. I wasn't good enough for them in the
winter due to my appearance, now all of a sudden I am good
enough? That was the way I was thinking.
But a few more weeks have gone by and they still won't
leave me alone at the gym trying to get my phone number
and so on.
I said to myself, why not?? This might sound a bit sadistic,
but considering what I've been through you will understand.
I decided to hook up with all 4 of them and had only one
(safe) encounter with them. After the deed, I completely
ignored them at the gym. They were all shocked and started
asking around why I wasn't talking to them?
I said that I wasn't attracted to them that much. That actually
felt good.
I have no respect for a woman who treats men this way,
especially already having knowledge of the persons medical
issue.
Any how, I'm on to better things, feeling much better about
myself and working in the internal cob webs (if you will) as
well which is helping me continuing to become more complete
as a man.
Well, there it is, my 9 year struggle with body image both
physically and psychologically.
But I can safely say that finally this battle is drawing near
an end very soon.
I am looking forward to helping others either gain mass,
maintain, lose weight, or train for sports as my new
career.
My Can-Fit Pro exam is on Oct. 11 and I've been studying
hard along with giving basic fitness orientations at the gym,
and still doing home network installations for people but stopping
this very soon.
I've even started up my Mixed Martial Arts again which I'm
loving a lot.
One thing I will say is it hasn't been easy, and I've been
working my ass off. You have to do it for yourself, not
other people that is the key. Just focus on yourself and
forget about other people.
If anyone requires encouragement, how to stay motivated,
what types of blood tests to take, how to over come a medical
condition, even with personal life that your journey has brought
you, I'm open to any questions.
I'm also open to people who are skinny and have had a hard time
looking to bulk up.
My apologies on the long assed post, I felt my experiences would
help others.
I'm open to any questions and opinions
Last time I was here was seeking tips on dieting down, and training
due to uncontroable weight gain.
For the past 9 years of my life at 30yo, my suffering of
phsyical appearance due to an extreme thyroid condition
is almost over.
In the past 4 months since May 2008, I've dropped from 230lbs
to arbout 192lbs at 5'10". I now fit in a 34" pant/jean with about
half an inch to spare. I haven't lost any strength maybe just a bit,
I look much bigger because I'm much leaner now. I'm still continuing
to drop fat every week. Just in early mid July I was 207lbs and my
waist was much bigger, and not much definition.
I consider this a major accomplish after what I'm about to
share with you, will be motivational for anyone.
I will post photo's when I'm completely finished this body
transformation as I want to share this with people. My
gym has even asked for my photo's to set up my portfolio
and to use it as motivation for clients including my own.
I'm not embarassed anymore and want people to see what
can be done, and what can happen to someone when
a medical condition takes over their life and what they're
normally used to.
Please bare with me as I really want to share my story
with this 9yr battle. how it can affect one's mind set
personal/social life, feelings, and motivation to continue
with training/dieting.
About 11yrs ago I was diagnosed with almost Graves
Disease (Extreme Hyper Thyroidism).
I was a 240lbs athlete playing football. My Position
was Full Back position at the university level, never
taken a steroid in my life and had a 1-rep max 405lb
natural bench (with a spotter's hands under the bar
for "moral" support if you will), a 1-rep max 495lbs
roman deadlift with simple straps and belt, and a
515lb squat for 1-rep max.
My 40-yard dash was about 4.75 to 4.85 depending on
the day.
After the 2000 season was finished, during the winter
I started to not feel well, started by hot sweats, and
needed over the counter sleep aids. Then 1 turned
into 2, then 3 and 4 etc....
I just thought I was stressed out with school, and my
girlfriend at the time was causing some problems, trouble
at home with my father's GF and her daughter.
Eventually I got to a point I wasn't sleeping at all during
the night. I was like a zombie during the day. Eventually
my sleeps started to occur during the day and would
sleep 12-15hrs a day and up all night.
People thought I was on drugs or something.
Eventually I started losing weight as much as 10lbs
in a week!!!!
I just let time pass thinking it would pass and everyone
goes through these things.
It got to a point where I'd be trying to train which once
brought me relaxation, was causing me more stress as
each week that went by I was losing strength on every
lift as much as 5-10lbs per lift.
I was still eating 6 to 7 times per day and still losing weight.
It got to a point where I dropped from 240lbs to around 180lbs
in about 4 months and couldn't even bench a plate.
My girlfriend and everyone else started to say I was looking
like a bit of a skeleton but I didn't want to believe it. I could
still have erections, she'd still want to have sex with me so
I just thought was in an over trained state and took
a month off from the gym.
I tried to go back but started to lose more weight.
I had to quit work and drop out of school that year
as I was too burnt out, nervous, anxious, hot sweats,
etc....
Finally my Mom (who's been hospitalized with Lupus
& Osteoporosis for about 30yrs) convinced me to go
to the doctor and get checked out.
They did a complete blood work and found that my
thyroid levels were through the roof at the "Graves
Disease" point.
My doctor started me on a medication to try and control
it to bring it back down to an equalibrium, but didn't work.
They finally decided in 2003 to give me radio active Iodine
to burn the thyroid. They told me I would have to wait 1yr
before I could even start the T4 Synthroid as that's how
long it would take to burn the gland completely.
Following this treatment, the first few months were very
good as I started feeling better and was able to go to the
gym, go out, be with my GF more often etc.... but still not
enough energy for school or work.
Eventually towards the middle of the summer of 2004 was
when the thyroid gland was completely burned and could
start medication on the T4 Synthroid.
At this point I was starting to return to normal activities
like University (no football unfortunately), working out
and was getting a lot of strength and size back. I kept
the same healthy diet, training and cardio levels.
I noticed by the fall of 2004 I was starting to get fatter
no matter what I did to stop it. The endocrinologist told
me that would happen for awhile until they found the
right dose of T4 Synthroid.
I started getting frustrated, I noticed I was beginning
to feel sluggish (also told was normal for awhile). My
girlfriend was starting to get frustrated with my weight
gain as she was always tall and athletic running track
at school.
She even came with me to the doctors to understand
but she just didn't get it.
Then other problems started with my sex drive (which
always high), I started having a great deal of problems
getting erect with her no matter what was done.
She was getting very pissed off at me, even told me that
I'm starting to "let myself go". She just didn't understand
the seriousness of the situation.
She eventually left me, said I was getting fat, always depressed,
that she didn't turn me on anymore, she wasn't physically
attracted to me anymore despite knowing everything that
the doctor explained to her.
That really took a huge chunk out of my soul.
At this point they started to raise the T4 Synthroid every
3 months. But the first few months I was in bed all the time,
just depressed and tired as hell.
After a few raises of medication, I started to feel better,
"things started working again", I was getting more energy,
started training again and losing a weight.
One thing I noticed when I got really fat, my friends
didn't seem to respect me the same way, and the treatment
I received from many women was pretty crappy. I'd
try to flirt with women at the gym who used to be friendly
with me, and I could tell they had a disgusted look on their
face like they just wanted me to leave.
That was pretty hard to deal with as I was always
attracted to tall athletic women, having played football
for many years and competed in MMA I got to meet
fit people.
I pretty much gave up dating for awhile, too depressing
as my physical appearance was really getting to me. It
really hit me hard knowing I just had to wait out the months
for the changes in the T4 Synthroid to be increased.
I might've still been much fatter (still a lot of muscle), but
Mr. Johnson started working again on a regular basis and my
sex drive was coming back every week.
This was by early 2005 January.
I gave up on going for athletic women as they were no
longer attracted to me. So I started going for the attractive
women who weren't into the gym at all. It was very hard
for me to deal with as they didn't understand it, and I wasn't
used to it.
I started dating, met some pretty crazy women, and unfortunately
some prudish women who I almost married 4yrs ago in 2004.
I had finished up with school in Political Science by then, and
took a Networking course which I've been working in network
support IT for about 5yrs now.
Things with my physique were some what stable at this point,
at around 207lbs and a 36" waist. As you can imagine, I still
wasn't happy with this and nothing I seemed to do helped.
In fall 2007 I had to take an anti-depressant as the endocrinologist
found that due to the T4 Synthroid, my body was producing
waaaaay too much Cortisol which was causing me to have
extreme anxiety, nervousness, even some paranoia.
I inquired with the endocrinologist about Therapy with a
psychologist and they said due to the blood test results,
I had no choice but to go on an anti-depressant.
Within a couple of months I stopped having the anxiety,
nervousness, and paranoia. But I gained about 45lbs
and about 7" to my waist up to about 43".
I was in denial about this for awhile and thought I was
just making gym gains.
In February, I joined a new gym (where I will be starting
a new career as a personal trainer soon). I met some
nice girls and women there who were into training. They
seemed nice and were friendly with me.
So I started to flirt with these 4 women to see if I could
start dating someone again. But I noticed they started to
become very unfriendly and had disgusted look on their
face when they looked at me up and down.
At that point, it just hit me that I needed to do something
about it.
By May 2008 when I first joined seeking advice, I made huge
changes to my diet, training style and increased cardio along
with a fat burner.
I dropped from 228lbs to 208lbs between May/08 and July/08
and was starting to feel much healthier and better about myself.
Clothes were starting to fit much better.
Around the end of June 2008, I started talking to an already
fit, tall, woman who is some what older than me.
We talked about everything, started really get to know one
another. I explained everything to her what I've been through
with my thyroid problem and weight management.
I explained that I had started a new regime and already lost
20lbs. She seemed cool with that.
Again our phone conversations were good, started getting
sexual and fun.
Finally we decided to meet and go out for dinner in early
July on a Saturday night. I was nicely dressed and she
looked really good. We got along the same in person as
we did on the phone which was great.
After dinner we went to a little bar where we were able
"get to know one another" a little better. Finally we left
in the early morning. We stopped near her place and started
to get hot and heavy.
I was really happy at this point, I was saying to myself,
finally this great person who's also fit is accepting me
for who I am knowing that I'm on a new regime to get
lean.
We were in my car for about 2hrs and it was truly an
unforgettable experience.
After that, we parted and started talking on the phone
again and all was good. We'd share what type of connection
we felt, along with starting to care for one another, feeling
when the other is thinking about you etc....
Other things happened in her life and she got sick from
a burnout at work so we didn't meet up the following
weekend as we had talked about possibly meeting up.
My first thought was that it was just a cop out. I heard
the "I'm sick" bit before when I was fatter last year
trying to date people. I knew they weren't interested
because I was fatter than I normally am.
However I gave her the benefit of the doubt and it did
turn out she was really sick.
Our talks were still personal and sexy.
Then all of a sudden part way during the week she says
she can't handle this. I was like WTF????
I let a few days pass and decide to call her up. She said
she felt how I was feeling and wasn't sure if she was
going to talk to me again. But seemed really happy to
hear from me.
Things picked up again, and finally we got together again,
went to a vitamin expo and then a movie where we fooled
around again.
She kept telling me what sexual things she wants to do with
me and how I turned her on.
Several days go by, all of a sudden, she calls me up and
tells me she has to be honest with me.
I have a strong connection to you, I'm into you a lot, but
I just can't get past the physical appearance thing with
you. If it wasn't for your body, I'd be seeing you right now.
I confronted her and questioned why she got physical with
me, no answer, but she said she just can't continue.
I once again explained that within a couple of months, I'm
going to be in really good shape. But this didn't make a
difference.
This really took a huuuuge chunk out of me, just like the
woman who left me when my thyroid problems were just
starting to be corrected, she left me because I was much
fatter.
I've only been rejected for my physical appearance by these
2 people. The rest that didn't work or worked out were due
to personalities which is fine by me.
Considering what I've been through the last 9yrs, it's really
harsh.
After this, during the later part of August and September
2008, I started having major self-body image issues again,
started to get depressed thinking about the past.
But I didn't let this stop me, I kept training and dieting.
Sure enough, I was losing about 3lbs of fat every week.
1hr of cardio every day, weights 4x's a week, stretching
4 x's a week.
This has brought me up until this point where I am now.
Now I have an average resting heart rate of 53bpm's,
at 192lbs with a just under 34" waist and all my strength.
I will be a 32 inch waist at around 185lbs by the time
I'm done.
I then plain to add muscle, but very slowly and keep the
cardio in just not as high and diet the same. That way
I know it will be lean tissue with a dry look.
The funny thing is, the 4 women who were disgusted with
me back in February 2008 had been starting to really come
on to me and pay attention to me. I've started wearing
Under Armor shirts which hug the body now that I'm much
more confident.
All 4 of them who are fit and athletic in one way or another
asked me out.
I said to myself, I have more pride than this and I'm not going
to bother with them. I wasn't good enough for them in the
winter due to my appearance, now all of a sudden I am good
enough? That was the way I was thinking.
But a few more weeks have gone by and they still won't
leave me alone at the gym trying to get my phone number
and so on.
I said to myself, why not?? This might sound a bit sadistic,
but considering what I've been through you will understand.
I decided to hook up with all 4 of them and had only one
(safe) encounter with them. After the deed, I completely
ignored them at the gym. They were all shocked and started
asking around why I wasn't talking to them?
I said that I wasn't attracted to them that much. That actually
felt good.
I have no respect for a woman who treats men this way,
especially already having knowledge of the persons medical
issue.
Any how, I'm on to better things, feeling much better about
myself and working in the internal cob webs (if you will) as
well which is helping me continuing to become more complete
as a man.
Well, there it is, my 9 year struggle with body image both
physically and psychologically.
But I can safely say that finally this battle is drawing near
an end very soon.
I am looking forward to helping others either gain mass,
maintain, lose weight, or train for sports as my new
career.
My Can-Fit Pro exam is on Oct. 11 and I've been studying
hard along with giving basic fitness orientations at the gym,
and still doing home network installations for people but stopping
this very soon.
I've even started up my Mixed Martial Arts again which I'm
loving a lot.
One thing I will say is it hasn't been easy, and I've been
working my ass off. You have to do it for yourself, not
other people that is the key. Just focus on yourself and
forget about other people.
If anyone requires encouragement, how to stay motivated,
what types of blood tests to take, how to over come a medical
condition, even with personal life that your journey has brought
you, I'm open to any questions.
I'm also open to people who are skinny and have had a hard time
looking to bulk up.
My apologies on the long assed post, I felt my experiences would
help others.
I'm open to any questions and opinions