View Full Version : How to tell if your ex girlfriend is crazy
Progress
02-10-2009, 06:42 PM
She sends you one of these text messages:
"I hope you can find a way to be my friend b/c I need an A on this project so I graduate cum laude and we're assigned it together."
Context: Ex GF, who broke up with me and is in a capstone (required) class with me was auto-assigned in my group to give a presentation.
i can contribute (my friends ex is totally psycho) :
you are on facebook for 2 seconds of the -whole- day, and she sends you a text right after you log off... 'shouldnt you be in bed?'
Detard
02-10-2009, 07:19 PM
I can contribute.
If your ex girlfriends were best friends and now dating eachother (1 lezbo, 1 ****ed up)
I can contribute.
If your ex girlfriends were best friends and now dating eachother (1 lezbo, 1 ****ed up)
I think you just won... or lost... this thread. I can't tell.
galileo
02-10-2009, 07:24 PM
If she ****ed a semi-famous musician because he said he liked her, took advanced mood stabilizers, and tried to kill herself with a knife on multiple occasions?
Detard
02-10-2009, 07:28 PM
I think you just won... or lost... this thread. I can't tell.
Win. 1 wasnt really a girlfriend. we were only together 2 weeks or so.
Detard
02-10-2009, 07:28 PM
If she ****ed a semi-famous musician because he said he liked her, took advanced mood stabilizers, and tried to kill herself with a knife on multiple occasions?
/thread
ZenMonkey
02-10-2009, 07:49 PM
If she tells everyone you are still dating after being broken up for months, and when confronted acts like we are still together?
My brother would say:
If she writes your parents a letter describing the way it ended and asking them for help?
d'Anconia
02-10-2009, 08:03 PM
If she ****ed a semi-famous musician because he said he liked her, took advanced mood stabilizers, and tried to kill herself with a knife on multiple occasions?
+1 for ex-gf's who are cutters.
Win. 1 wasnt really a girlfriend. we were only together 2 weeks or so.
So you do that much damage in that short of time? If it's a win then there's still an asterisk next to it.
I'm just kidding though. Good thing you broke up quickly.
VikingWarlord
02-10-2009, 08:05 PM
I can't talk about ex girlfriends being crazy because I don't actually let any of them get that far, but the first time I went out with my last regular **** buddy, she said "oh ****, I forgot to tell you...I'm on probation for battery. I punched my last roommate in the face and knocked her down the stairs."
Travis Bell
02-10-2009, 08:08 PM
If she shows up at your dorm front door freshman year (i broke up with her between open houses graduation day) sobbing and crying loudly begging you to take her back. Makes for a great scene that I didn't live down for the rest of the year
When told no chance, goes out and marries a guy with the same name.
slashkills
02-10-2009, 08:17 PM
im ashamed to say no girl has ever gone nuts after i broke up with her:cry:
I have however though had a girl stalk me,get my address & phone number, and then wait outside my house for me to wake up though. never went out with her. actually try my hardest to avoid her.
d'Anconia
02-10-2009, 08:33 PM
What's sad is that all this stuff is just as much a reflection on how ****ty we are at picking our romantic interests.
Luckily I can say I went out with my ex a good 5 years ago. But in general we were still complicit.
Southern Beast
02-10-2009, 09:10 PM
I had a girl wear a t-shirt with my photograph on it at 2am on a warm summer's nigh', and she was pitching stones at my window to get my attention. When I went to the window, she scampered off from the streetlight she was under and into a waiting car that tooted off into the night.
method115
02-10-2009, 09:12 PM
+1 for ex-gf's who are cutters.
+2 for cutters
nhlfan
02-10-2009, 09:25 PM
I can contribute.
If your ex girlfriends were best friends and now dating eachother (1 lezbo, 1 ****ed up)
sweet jesus
+1 for ex-gf's who are cutters.
+3. forgot about her.
d'Anconia
02-10-2009, 09:41 PM
I had a girl wear a t-shirt with my photograph on it at 2am on a warm summer's nigh', and she was pitching stones at my window to get my attention. When I went to the window, she scampered off from the streetlight she was under and into a waiting car that tooted off into the night.
You're lying. No one has a stalker put a picture of them on their shirt and then lives to tell the story.
ColdBlue
02-10-2009, 09:41 PM
She breaks up constantly with you, and then calls you 15+ times at 3am out of nowhere filling up your voice mail with "I miss you" blah, blah messages. Wait a couple weeks later, repeat.
mrelwooddowd
02-11-2009, 12:20 AM
She records your phone calls, trying to bait you into saying something "incriminating," in an effort to destroy your life via courtroom litigation...
Brawl
02-11-2009, 03:52 AM
My little sis was in town and met us for a drink , gave her a hug and a kiss when I saw her and when she left .
Hot as hell stupid slut asked me on the way home if I ever slept with my sister , because she doesnt hug or kiss her brother .
ncsuLuke
02-11-2009, 05:20 AM
If she calls you telling you her neighbor broke into her house and tried to rape her. Since that doesn't work then she sends you a message online telling you she had planned on doing enough coke the night before in order to kill herself because she can't go on but knew that it would only hurt me more so she didn't. I think she did some other crazy stuff but I can't remember...I just started ignoring her after a while.
Yep that one was bat***** crazy.
galileo
02-11-2009, 06:31 AM
She records your phone calls, trying to bait you into saying something "incriminating," in an effort to destroy your life via courtroom litigation...
Ooh, I got one. She stalks your online weightlifting journal and then submits your rage-filled rants to a judge in order to rule you a threat to society!
Phenom
02-11-2009, 08:03 AM
mine squirted sun tan lotion all over my car because she saw a group picture of me and I was next to a girl she didn't know.
Painzer
02-11-2009, 08:50 AM
mine squirted sun tan lotion all over my car because she saw a group picture of me and I was next to a girl she didn't know.
LOL. Now that's just funny.
mrelwooddowd
02-11-2009, 09:02 AM
Ooh, I got one. She stalks your online weightlifting journal and then submits your rage-filled rants to a judge in order to rule you a threat to society!
Yep. That too. Those were some great times, eh?
And don't EVER jokingly call her "psycho." That would be unsafe.
mrelwooddowd
02-11-2009, 09:14 AM
Ooh ooh... one more..
She calls you, drunk on 1.5 bottles of wine over 2 hour' time and slurring her words to a level you didn't fathom was possible, tells you she drove her kids home while extremely drunk, took a swing (and connected) at her current boyfriend, and then proceeded to take a bunch of Valium and random other things from the cabinet.
You then have to run over there, bringing an almost-nurse friend, and see how much trouble she's in and not calling an ambulance so CPS won't take her kids away.
galileo
02-11-2009, 09:34 AM
Ooh ooh... one more..
She calls you, drunk on 1.5 bottles of wine over 2 hour' time and slurring her words to a level you didn't fathom was possible, tells you she drove her kids home while extremely drunk, took a swing (and connected) at her current boyfriend, and then proceeded to take a bunch of Valium and random other things from the cabinet.
You then have to run over there, bringing an almost-nurse friend, and see how much trouble she's in and not calling an ambulance so CPS won't take her kids away.
These are supposed to be ex-gf stories, not mom stories.
Big Jay
02-11-2009, 10:32 AM
These are supposed to be ex-gf stories, not mom stories.
lmao i actually spat my pasta out laughing when i read that
Progress
02-11-2009, 11:37 AM
im ashamed to say no girl has ever gone nuts after i broke up with her:cry:
I have however though had a girl stalk me,get my address & phone number, and then wait outside my house for me to wake up though. never went out with her. actually try my hardest to avoid her.
Girls don't ever just go nuts. They just sometimes wait to reveal their true nature.
d'Anconia
02-11-2009, 11:56 AM
This just might be the best thread I've seen in this forum. Ever.
Keep 'em coming.
Genacide
02-11-2009, 12:55 PM
Had a buddy take a girl back to his place and the next morning she said to him "This better not be a one night stand or I'll have to burn your house down *uncomfortable laugh* "
JWMagnus
02-11-2009, 01:25 PM
Mine cheated on me 3 days after I went to California with her daughters second cousin... Her ex husband's, well I shouldn't say ex, I think they are still in the divorce process, cousin. No HS diploma, married, has a kid, and keeps it in the family, I chose me a winner!:scratch:
I got one who talked to a lawyer to sue me and a girl she thought I cheated on her with (lol, I didn't even kiss her).
Context: We are talking ex-girlfriend here, not wife.
Progress
02-11-2009, 02:18 PM
Same girl as in the OP except it was earlier in the relationship. She broke up with me so I put my FB status as single. This was her message:
"if you were looking for a way to ruin any sort of relationship we have, friendship included.....good job buddy! you're starting a war again, be careful what you wish for"
Cliffs: Don't ever get back together with a girl if she broke up with you once before. Or in my case 10 times before.
Mercuryblade
02-11-2009, 02:32 PM
A girl I almost dated in highschool once went missing for a few days. I called her friend after I hadn't heard from her in about a week, she said her parents found cocaine and some pills in her car and she split. She came back home eventually. Months after things kind of died down she would randomly would message me online telling how she "missed the way I used to make her laugh" and other sorts of things. We weren't even that good friends and never even dated.
Sucks even more because about 3 days after I had asked her to prom (this preceded the running away incident) one of the most attractive girls I have ever known (think tan Ann Hathaway) told me at a party how good looking she thought I was.
Pete22
02-11-2009, 03:27 PM
If she still occassionally eggs girls cars who park in your driveway late at night... 3 years after you've broken up. :eek:
mrelwooddowd
02-11-2009, 03:48 PM
If she still occassionally eggs girls cars who park in your driveway late at night... 3 years after you've broken up. :eek:
Wow..you must have REALLY done her wrong.
That chick is a pro!
VikingWarlord
02-11-2009, 04:19 PM
Oh...if a girl isn't actually your girlfriend, make sure she knows that up front. It will save you a set of tires.
schmitty199
02-11-2009, 04:30 PM
She records your phone calls, trying to bait you into saying something "incriminating," in an effort to destroy your life via courtroom litigation...
Wow.. there's some really ****ed up girls out there, and the sad thing is this isnt the first time ive heard of this very thing happening. Luckily not to me, because in highschool ive lived by the motto hit it and quit it! Dont give the crazy ass 17 year old girls time to go crazy haha.
http://www.funnyforumpics.com/forums/This-Thread-Delivers/1/thread-delivers2.jpg
dynamo
02-11-2009, 07:57 PM
haha this is great! Just what I needed! I can say pretty much every crazy story in here besides the cutting and court room describes my ex. haha!
VikingWarlord
02-11-2009, 07:59 PM
The last one I actually called my girlfriend dumped me for a WP skinhead she met at the jail while she was with her roommate visiting the roommate's boyfriend.
Progress
02-12-2009, 05:25 AM
The last one I actually called my girlfriend dumped me for a WP skinhead she met at the jail while she was with her roommate visiting the roommate's boyfriend.
You probably consider yourself better off, right?
VikingWarlord
02-12-2009, 05:45 AM
You probably consider yourself better off, right?
Oh, yeah. She was replacable. I do still sometimes miss her below the neck though.
She had the best tits I've ever personally had my face between.
Genacide
02-12-2009, 06:15 AM
Oh, yeah. She was replacable. I do still sometimes miss her below the neck though.
She had the best tits I've ever personally had my face between.
You motor boating SOB!
galileo
02-12-2009, 06:17 AM
You can't motorboat a personality, after all.
VikingWarlord
02-12-2009, 06:23 AM
You can't motorboat a personality, after all.
Precisely. She was a stupid bitch but she had great tits and liked it in the ass.
wontstop
02-12-2009, 07:41 AM
I can contribute.
If your ex girlfriends were best friends and now dating eachother (1 lezbo, 1 ****ed up)
I still can't stop laughing about this one
mine squirted sun tan lotion all over my car because she saw a group picture of me and I was next to a girl she didn't know.
Now this though, is just her being stupid, it is funny though
Phenom
02-12-2009, 12:01 PM
I still can't stop laughing about this one
Now this though, is just her being stupid, it is funny though
Yeah and after all I just got out the hose and rinsed it all off no problem. Dumb broad.
Twirl
02-12-2009, 07:27 PM
Fires a can of slimfast at your head from 8 ft away.
Twirl
02-12-2009, 07:36 PM
oops got another one...
Wakes you up early in the morning sweetly, after a night of fighting, to burn one. Seconds later flipping out again, screaming at you not making any sense doing her best to hit you as well. When she gives up on the punching she walks back to your room and locks the door. Breaks all of your grow lights, throws the clones and veg plants all over the room, proceeds to take the mother plants (budding) and throws them on the hood of my race lexus in the middle of the morning (11am or so). Then she starts kicking the lexus before she finds an aluminum tball bat and takes cuts at my truck with it swinging for the fences. (I was being held back by my other two room mates thankfully) And stillllllllllllll wonders why I got a restraining order and kicked her out of the house.
to this day I have no idea what the fight was about, but she got what she wanted she married another kid named Zack (deuschbag though, kinda awkward sorta kid) 6-8 months later (we were together 3 1/2 years).
We were all friends at one point, and two years after all this he calls us and apologizes for not believing us when we tried to warn him haha.
dogsoldier
02-13-2009, 08:05 PM
There have been several crazies in my past. But the one that sticks out the most was when this bubble head I broke up with, started to bang on my mother's bedroom window at 3AM in the morning. Mom seeing her, not knowing what a nut case she is, opened the window thinking she was in trouble. As soon as mom opened the window the psycho pile drives through the screen, into my mothers bedroom knocking my mother over. Crazy ex jumps up and runs into my bed room screaming that she knows I was in there with another girl. Pulls a lamp off the shelf and starts beating the crap out of my pillow screaming at the top of her lungs. (I fell asleep watching TV in the family room). My sister jumps in, kicks her ass and throws her out of the house. About a month later she sends my mother the doctor bill for getting cut crashing through the window. That is when I decided to join the Army.
Detard
02-13-2009, 08:24 PM
Damn, you guys really know how to pick em.
mrelwooddowd
02-14-2009, 12:05 PM
My sister jumps in, kicks her ass and throws her out of the house.
That is when I decided to join the army.
The two best lines in the thread..
d'Anconia
02-14-2009, 03:41 PM
Yeah I wanna meet his sister.
BFGUITAR
02-14-2009, 05:08 PM
Oh...if a girl isn't actually your girlfriend, make sure she knows that up front. It will save you a set of tires.
I don't know why but I feel like you've dated a lot haha.
d'Anconia
02-14-2009, 05:11 PM
More like he had a bunch of ****buddies who have thought they were dating a lot LOL
VikingWarlord
02-14-2009, 06:38 PM
Oh, it only took one before I learned to be VERY clear where things stood.
Now I'm going to go out and try to find a new "special gal" for the evening. Then, when it's no longer Valentine's Day, kick her ass out.
If things work out, I'll have a new crazy bitch story to add tomorrow.
Irish Pilot
02-14-2009, 08:41 PM
Ive never met an ex-girlfriend who wasnt crazy ;)
Donnajo
02-14-2009, 08:50 PM
Oh, I am so starting the crazy ex boyfriend thread but unfortunatley we are outnumbered as females on this board...my story would shut you all up.
Progress
02-14-2009, 09:52 PM
Oh, I am so starting the crazy ex boyfriend thread but unfortunatley we are outnumbered as females on this board...my story would shut you all up.
I've done my fair share of crazy ****, too. I think it's just that certain people bring out the worst in others.
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