View Full Version : Journal of a fat git.

09-14-2002, 04:34 AM
Well people, this is what I am: self opinionated, fat, no direction in life, single, and at home with my daughter. I'm having no fun at all.

What a prick I have been for the last few years. Always thinking that I'm right. The only thing I have got is that I KNOW I can do a lot better. I have always understood that. Until now, I always believed I was 'better' than most because of my intelligence and got complacent. Look at me now. Now I'm a fat nothing with just raw intelligence and nothing to back it up.

This journal is a major ass kicking for me both physically and mentally. My outlook on life MUST change for me to enjoy life. Otherwise, working out and getting into better shape serves no purpose than to 'look better physically'.

I ended up being a single dad because I'm so stupid and blind. I'd love someone to appreciate the hard work that going to put into sorting myself out and understand why I must do it.

Right, where do I begin. Well this is a true beginners journal. I haven't yet sorted out my diet, I haven't yet sorted a training program. I'm now waiting for my instructor to come up and do his thing to get me started.

What I am now:
Height: 6'4" / 193cm
Weight: 230lbs / 105kg
Lean Mass: 186lbs / 84.5kg
Bodyfat % (Navy Method): 19%

Neck: 16.5" / 41.9cm
Shoulders: 51.75" / 131.4cm
Chest: 45" / 114.3cm
Biceps: 15.5" / 39.37cm
Forearms: 12.25" / 31.1cm
Waist: 38" / 96.5cm
Thigh: 24.5" / 62.2cm
Calf: 17.75" / 45cm

Well. There are my starting measurements. They are correct, I've had em checked.

Foods that I have eaten till now:
Curry's, spagetti bolognase, cheese toasties, peanut butter, soft spread margerine, white medium sliced bread, jam, marmalade, beans, hotdogs, macaroni cheese, ravioli, sausage rolls, cornish pasties, peas, carrots, bacon, sausages, cheeseburgers, chips, gravy meals at the grandparents house, crisps (seabrook and pringles), chocolate digestives, chocolate sweets, peanuts, mixed fruits (sultanas, raisings, peels etc), apples, pears, oranges, bananas (I can eat fruit all day), tinned tuna, cereals (kellogs cornflakes or frosties)

Low sugar cola, appleade, orangeade, limeade, rasberryade, cherryade, fresh orange, dilute pop (robinsons), fresh apple, fresh cranberry, tea with milk and 2 sugars, rarely coffee with milk and 2 sugars. Very rarely (and this is the truth for reasons I don't want to mention on this board) do I drink alcohol. I can drink wine socially and have been seen with a bottle of WKD. That's it.

I do not take supplements as yet but I'm toying with the idea of using something like Hydroxicut or Xenadrine to aid fat loss.

At the moment, it's as and when, just trying to get my body used to exercising casually again, then I'll begin hardcore cardio when I get my program details back from the instructor.

Well, I hope this has been informative. I know that there will be others like me starting late, but hopefully, this will help them get started without too much waiting.

I will post my exercise, my diet and my sleeping habits on here too. At the moment, my sleep pattern is slightly off due to my daughter keeping me awake till midnight (and these boards are so damn interesting that I have to read every post). I generally get about 8 hours sleep per day.

Hope to see some comments follow!

09-14-2002, 05:38 AM
Hey TerraChylde,

Let me be the first to congratulate you on the creation of your journal:D . You are now officially a work in progress......hope you enjoy the journey...

Perhaps you may want to tweak your vocabularly to make it a fraction more positive.......you are extremely harsh on yourself ;)

KICK ASS my friend !!!!

09-14-2002, 05:42 AM
Being harsh on myself for being a complete tit? Well, I could use about 3 gigs of harddisk to describe what a tosspot i've been in the past. But now, things are a lot more positive, and I've got so much to do. I'm a quarter way through my life, and I've got nothing to show for it.

I will get there, my aggression serves my purpose and seeing these guys in here that look infinitely better than I do only makes me want it that little bit more. :-)

09-14-2002, 06:01 AM
Good luck with your lifestlye change!! Keep us posted on your progress.

BTW- From a personal opinion, I would hold off on using any thermos for weight loss. Simply because with the right diet and exercise you can lose a lot of that weight yourself. Once you reach the point where its' getting more difficult to lose the weight. Then I would opt for the thermos to give your body that little extra umph. It's completely up to you, I just think you'd save a lot of money. :D

09-14-2002, 06:05 AM
Thanks Ritzol. At the moment, money is a factor, If I thought for one second that I could do this through diet and exercise alone by Christmas, then I would do it without supps.

What is the normal range of weightloss for a better diet with 5 days a week cardio training? (I'm presuming that this instructor is going to give me cardio training....)

09-14-2002, 06:46 AM
Originally posted by TerraChyld
Thanks Ritzol. At the moment, money is a factor, If I thought for one second that I could do this through diet and exercise alone by Christmas, then I would do it without supps.

There's no reason you can't do it just by diet and exercise. You shoudn't be be putting time limits on yourself either, do you want to lose weight slow, steady and keep it off. Or do you want to lose it all at once and more than likely not set yourself up for failure, and gain it back?

What is the normal range of weightloss for a better diet with 5 days a week cardio training? (I'm presuming that this instructor is going to give me cardio training....) [/QUOTE]

Depends on the length and intensity of each cardio session.

09-14-2002, 06:48 AM
I just want it gone! and quickly! Hence why I'm willing to get in the gym and let people throw things at me.

Well, all I can do now is wait till I get my program back.

Thanks guys and gals for all your help! I can't wait to get started!

09-14-2002, 07:00 AM
It's not going to happen quickly, it takes time.

09-14-2002, 07:03 AM
Not good enough, I'll have to work harder then! :-)

09-14-2002, 10:05 AM
Patience young earthen one. If you do it too fast you'll lose muscle and become a pathetic bag of skin. Still, a lot of weight can come off by Christmas, especially since you're new at this. Congrats on deciding to make the lifestyle change. It'll be awesome to see your progress in this journal. Now go kick ass.

09-14-2002, 10:10 AM
You've got a daughter, which means that you have had sex at least once. With a woman, a REAL woman. You've got one up on me, homes.

As for direction in life, have you thought about the navy? They have a huge freakin gym on the USS Ronald Reagan, and they'll make protein shakes for you too! Plus the swabbing of the deck with work them shoulders.

I do know I'm a jerkoff...I'm doing the best I can here.
As for diet, stop drinking fruit juice, its basically a sugar suspension. Drink clear diet sodas or water, or crystal light. Foods...you know what you can and cant eat, you've been told for years. Just add about 150grams of protein from chicken breasts, tuna, dairy, and eggs into teh diet and cut out all the crap you KNOW you're not supposed to be eating. The navy will beat that **** out of you, man.

Damn...damn the NAVY!

09-14-2002, 11:04 AM
Originally posted by Budiak

As for direction in life, have you thought about the navy? They have a huge freakin gym on the USS Ronald Reagan, and they'll make protein shakes for you too! Plus the swabbing of the deck with work them shoulders.

Uhhh...remember the Revolutionary War?

I don't generally think the US armed services take British citizens.

09-14-2002, 11:48 AM
I've been in the army. I was MD'd for an allergic reaction to the shitty oil that they used on the weapons, damned cheapskates bought everything cheap and on contract. It burned off my skin then they wondered why my hands bled for months on end.

No, I wouldn't give them a second thought.

But if they checked my record. They'd have me.

That's not why I'm here though. I want to get leaner, more muscular and I'm now going to tell you a little story. It might help you understand why I am so motivated.

4 years ago, I met my ex. She was great. Physically attractive, enjoyed the same things I did, and cared for the fact that I am a decent, hard working guy who loves to be arround kids. Sex was great. I felt as if I had the whole package. She has a son, to a previous partner who I took under my wing as my own. She fell pregnant with my daughter and nine months later, said daughter was born. I sacrificed everything so that my ex would be happy. She convinced me that she would be better off self employed so we talked and figured it would be best for me to quit work and me look after both kids. I stopped going out because she needed to go to college so much and had 'mobile' clients. I ended up with nothing. I sold all my stuff, she kept her stuff and we continued. Things started to go wrong. I got annoyed because I never had the chance to do anything for myself. Always at home playing the 'good housewife'. I never saw my friends, never got to go out, never got to go to the gym.

Sex went down the swanny, I always had to go to her, for anything, be it a cuddle, a kiss, or even a bit of nookie. It started getting on my tits, so I bought this pc. Started making friends online (no women though, I still wanted my ex to trust me and was trying hard to keep myself occupied without going elsewhere).

Obviously as a result of no activity, my body began to suffer and I started to gain lots of weight. I tried to control it with gardening, re-arranging the rooms etc but it krept up on me. We started arguing about money, things weren't going to plan with her being self employed. I went back to work but the job was only a short term contract. She decided that she had to 'get out' and see her friends, she was fed up of seeing me. The more she went out, the more I was at home, the more I was at home, the more she went out. The more she showed no interest, the more I buried myself in web design work.

We argued majorly one night, she started throwing all my things about. I lost my temper and argued back. She became extremely violent all of a sudden. We had argued but not like this. She punched, kicked, slapped me and threw all my stuff around (including kicking over the one thing that I had of interest, this pc). After all this I had enough and after a final punch in the mouth I slapped her back. I had never EVER done that before and never plan to again. It was awful. I spent hours crying and beating myself up over it.

We made up and continued to try and work things out after she realised she was in the wrong and apologised.

We argued again, and again and again. I was fed up. It was the same thing all the bloody time. Money. Then the shocker came. She asked me to leave. She had no feelings for me any more. I was a little suprised since I would have thought that since she had pretty much everything her own way, I was at home whilst she was out all the time, she should have been happy.

I got a house but it would take 5 weeks to get sorted. She agreed to let me stay till I moved in to the house (law over here especially when kids are concerned).

I left, but quickly found out that she was 'seeing someone new'. I asked questions because the obvious sprang to mind. "Was she seeing this guy while I was there?". The answer came. Yes, she was seeing someone else. He was supposedly a 35 year old gym instructor who apparently knew 'everything' about what we had been going through. Physically attractive, understanding, caring, made her laugh etc etc blah blah.

I asked the other question, "How the hell did you ever make time to meet this guy?" She couldn't answer the question. I later found out that he was in fact her ex boyfriend. The boyfriend immediately before me. She has my child and asks me to leave to meet up with her ex? You're kidding me right? No, it's true. Her ex boyfriend. She made him out to be an ass, violant, ordered her around, never let her go out and she goes back with him? He aint no gym instructor either, he's a decorator. I was going to break his head off till I remembered that I've actually had a really bad time with her so I didn't bother.

So, I'm now single, on my own with my daughter, overweight, fat and nothing to show but a rippley 18 pack. I'm gonna make my little girl proud, and also gonna rub my ex's face in the dirt at the same time. I sacrificed my life for her, and I'm gonna show her exactly what I can be :evillaugh I'm also giving myself a shot at being happy by looking forward, with a new outlook on life, a new body and hopefully going to meet a mrs right!

I know this is one long ass post, but that is my life and my journal. Whew...

Hope that makes it easier to understand just why I am so passionate (and impatient) about getting myself sorted out.

Peace all. Thanks for reading.

09-14-2002, 02:11 PM
well, first things first, there's no use crying over spilled milk. the past is the past, and since there's nothing you can do to change it, all you can really focus on is making the best of the present, in hopes of creating a bright future.

i definitely undersand what your going through, as I actually started focusing on fitness and my physical self for the first time, after getting out of my own 5 year relationship from hell. I can honestly say the gym and focusing ony our health is one of the best ways i know of to get over a breakup.

good luck man, it ain't easy, but this is a fine way to start sorting out your issues.

09-14-2002, 02:15 PM
Thanks Tryska!

I've got to admit, I'm not 'crying over spilt milk'. I'm quite positive about the good things in life now! I just wanted to give the reasons as to how I managed to alter my outlook on life and how I plan to use my 'experiences' to at least some positive effect!

09-14-2002, 02:30 PM
ace. that's about all you can do.

one thing i can tell ya is enjoy the newfound freedom to just be yourself for a while.

09-14-2002, 02:34 PM
I've got a daughter though, so I don't want to enjoy it 'too' much. Wouldn't want the ex to go running to her solicitor now saying 'well he's introducing my daughter to a whole group of ladies'. Not that i'd get any in this condition anyway hahahahahaha, but yes, it doesn't stop me from trying :-)

09-14-2002, 02:36 PM
My mum who I haven't spoken to has just phoned. How odd. She has offered to take me food shopping so I might take her up on it.

Is there anyone from the UK here who knows which food lables are the best for my sort of diet?

09-14-2002, 02:39 PM
*lol* that's not quite what i meant.

altho the freedom to go shag whomever you want is there too, i guess. i meant more the freedom to do those things you enjoy, at your leisure and on your shcedule. granted with a child it's not total freedom, but i'm sure you have time now to follow your interests without judgement.

that was the biggest thing for me, post-breakup. just loving the fact that i didn't have to check in, didn't have to worry about what was going on at home, and didn't have someone constantly forcing their will on me. at tiems it can be tiring. altho after 2 years, i'm getting ready to wanna settle down again, that's one thing that makes me hesitate. Love my independence.

09-14-2002, 02:46 PM
HAHAHA, I know Tryska, I was just having fun (which isn't often!) but I hear ya. Yeah, I had a lot of restrictions. Not any more though!

Besides, it's a bit of a cliche but I don't 'shag'. :-) I always kept myself for the right moment. I guess I'm far too soppy for my own good.

09-14-2002, 02:48 PM
*lol* i know the feeling. boy do i know the feeling. sometimes it's safer that way, tho. and easier to not waste precious time on someone totally wrong for ya.

09-14-2002, 02:52 PM
Isn't it just. Well, maybe I'll have a shot at happiness soon.

Damn me being in crap condition. I'm starting to wish that I didn't post those pics now. Then, when I talk all sensitive and fatherly, I wont appear to be such a tubbolardy.

09-14-2002, 06:06 PM
pfft. you won't be in crap condition for long. just go for the gold. :)

09-15-2002, 05:41 AM
:-) Thanks, that means a lot!

09-18-2002, 09:29 AM
Well, I'm happy to announce that my training begins on Monday with my new training partner Andrew Merrifield. He is in fact 1998, 2000 & 2002 u75kg champion and is a top bloke. He's gonna work this off me so I can't wait. He is still in top condition and knows his stuff and the best thing is, he's only round the corner. I'll keep you posted on what he tells me!

He's also helping me with my diet, spotting me at the gym (which is full of REALLY REALLY big blokes). And helping me choose supplements wisely.

I'm so psyched about it...

09-18-2002, 09:31 AM
wow...good for you..how'd you manage that then?

09-18-2002, 10:47 AM
He's actually local to Halifax and owns a bodybuilding shop (clothes and supplements) in what is called 'Piece Hall'. Before anyone asks, no he's not just trying to sell me supplements, in fact he wont let me touch anything except Protein for the time being.

He's a star.

I went into his shop out of curiosity since my interest in BB just went through the roof. I saw his photos and he was stood behind the counter laughing as my jaw hit the floor. I asked him whether or not he has trained anyone other than himself, and he said he'd done it a couple of times and as I got to know him a little better through casual conversation over the next few days it just came up that I could train with him if I'm serious enough, which he knows I am.

There ya go!

Man, I can't wait.

09-18-2002, 10:50 AM
well ace! good luck man. :)

09-18-2002, 10:59 AM
Thanking ya!

08-25-2003, 06:38 AM
hey all, been away for a while trying my best to get things sorted. Got a gym membership but found it easier to train at home with the weights, go the house sorted etc.

Now for the bad news. After cutting a hell of a lot of carbs out and trying the atkins diet, eating chicken none stop... I've made crap progress.

I look 'exactly' the same as I did last september. I've been to the docs to see if there was a hormonal problem and he gave me the all clear. I've been training like a swine and nothing has worked.

I can tell you though that I have lost just over an inch off my waist.

I don't know what went wrong but i'm working on it now. Just sorry that after all this time, it didn't swing my way.

I've been in talks with a friendly fella called Andre on these boards. He's made tremendous progress in the 4 months he states... I'm going to try it his way now. I'll keep yas posted.

All the best