Delphi
01-31-2003, 11:05 PM
Greeting cards you'll never see:
1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day?
Look at the bright side......
it's really good pay.
2. My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat......
Sorry!
3. Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.....
She moved in with me.
4. Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
... What the hell was I thinking?
5. Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
6. How could two people as beautiful as you.....
Have such an ugly baby?
7. I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you...
...I've changed my mind.
8. I must admit you brought Religion into my life...
...I never believed in Hell till I met you.
9. Congratulations on your promotion.....
Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
10. We have been friends for a very long time...
...What say we stop?
11. I'm so miserable without you ...
...it's almost like you're here.
12. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!
Did you ever find out who the father is?
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(This card available only in Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia)
1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day?
Look at the bright side......
it's really good pay.
2. My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat......
Sorry!
3. Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it.....
She moved in with me.
4. Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
... What the hell was I thinking?
5. Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
6. How could two people as beautiful as you.....
Have such an ugly baby?
7. I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you...
...I've changed my mind.
8. I must admit you brought Religion into my life...
...I never believed in Hell till I met you.
9. Congratulations on your promotion.....
Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
10. We have been friends for a very long time...
...What say we stop?
11. I'm so miserable without you ...
...it's almost like you're here.
12. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!
Did you ever find out who the father is?
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(This card available only in Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia)