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ChrisH
06-20-2003, 09:09 AM
Thought I might as well post this, some of you might have seen it but...blah.

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Feeling bored in the office? Surely not.


Want to try something new and exciting to do? Why not initiate an office
dare system - however to do it properly only you are allowed to know the dare. Sound confusing? Well read on..........

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head
6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9) While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open

THREE-POINTS DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask,"Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent - As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce,"As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why,say, "I can't talk about it".
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig,etc) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you here is some examples of insane acts you can use anywhere...

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy,we are going to have to let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".
7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8) Don't use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

ChrisH
06-20-2003, 09:11 AM
Oh yeah found this too:

EVER WONDER...

why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
why doctors call what they do "practice"?
why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
indestructible black box ?
why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

Tryska
06-20-2003, 09:18 AM
i've wondered some of those things and done quite a few of those things. not typically on a dare tho....

Daniel Clough
06-20-2003, 09:24 AM
Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.



ha ha, that made me laugh outloud. I am gonna try it lol

Daniel Clough
06-20-2003, 09:39 AM
Lol, I just want to re-emphasise how funny these are.

I normally delete office email jokes on arrival but these are so funny. Each time I read one of them I just laugh out loud.

Franjipani
06-20-2003, 10:14 AM
Was wearing pink and acting gay around the office a dare too?

Reinier
06-20-2003, 10:42 AM
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why,say, "I can't talk about it".

YEAH BRILLIANT

Orange357
06-20-2003, 10:33 PM
Originally posted by Franjipani
Was wearing pink and acting gay around the office a dare too?


what are you talking about, thats normal hulk behavior.;) :p



LOL @ lists

GonePostal
06-20-2003, 10:39 PM
I hate those ever wonder lists... 1/2 of them are because the writter is stupid/

HahnB
06-21-2003, 12:17 AM
lol-some of those are funny as hell, when I was a caddy at a country club this kid took a dare and took a **** right in someone's bag and got fired on the spot, he was on all kinds of medication lol.

p_t
06-21-2003, 03:44 AM
This is my favorite

"9) While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open "


:omg:

Budiak
06-21-2003, 07:10 AM
I especially loved the one about putting an officemate's chair in the elevator.

I think another good one is to get a friend from another part of the office to take the chair to a completely different part of the building and when the guy who owns it comes back to notice his chair is gone, you punch him in the stomach and run! He wont know what hit him!

flake
06-30-2003, 07:45 PM
Originally posted by Budiak
I especially loved the one about putting an officemate's chair in the elevator.

In halls at uni in the first year we once put the entire contents of someones room into the two lifts :D Funny thing is, one of the lifts doesn't even stop on his floor (one goes to odd # floors, the other to even #'s) - he was so pissed, ha ha ha!



19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
This is my favourite - I so want to do it