Tryska
01-16-2004, 08:51 AM
for all of you who may be confused as to what the US political parties are, or where you might stand politically speaking - i have scoured the web and come up with the most helpful descriptions available. i hope this helps. :)
Republican
The Republican party is often referred to in the press as the G.O.P., which stands for Greedy Old People. Republicans are a generally grumpy type, who like to sit out on their porch, hoarding guns and money so that only they may have access to higher education, health care and the ultimate salvation given to those (white men) who worship Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Women are welcome in the Republican party, provided that they have cooked something nice for the Church pot lock.
Democrat
The party symbol for the Democrat is the donkey, because when the Democrats were coming up with party symbols, the Democrats wanted the worst possible animal outside of the turkey. Democrats have long held the unpopular and controversial stance of wanting to spend people's money all willy-nilly on government that has become so bloated that it makes Anna Nicole Smith look like Kate Moss.
Libertarian
Libertarians, like Republicans, believe that government should be smaller and that taxes should be lower; however, like liberal Democrats, libertarians also believe that the government should have no little to bearing over social issues, such as freedom of speech and drug laws. The libertarian party also believes that the government should be run primarily by state governments and that each state should have their own militia. Each state's militia would raise money by invading other states and stealing their money, because there would be no federal or state imposed taxes. Public schools would be funded by the luxury taxes placed upon legal child pornography and drugs. Also, goats and livestock would be an accepted form of paying these taxes.
Green
The Green party is the Christianity of political parties: it is a whole bunch of good ideas that don't work out in real life. The Green party believes in taxing the living hell out of everything that we could tax: pollution, marijuana, pornography, prostitution; all of which would go toward Americans living in a quasi-socialistic utopia. The government, using its newfound wealth, would provide the finest free, public education in the world to all of its citizens, who would make a minimum "living wage" of $12 an hour. Also, trees will no longer shed leaves in the fall, they will shed money. Free vegan-friendly gumdrops would be handed out every day to all people feeling sad, and every Thursday at 7 pm would be the government sponsored weekly fun-run, which includes a barbecue and a dance.
courtesy of http://taftese.tripod.com/archive/2002/politcalparties.html
Republican
The Republican party is often referred to in the press as the G.O.P., which stands for Greedy Old People. Republicans are a generally grumpy type, who like to sit out on their porch, hoarding guns and money so that only they may have access to higher education, health care and the ultimate salvation given to those (white men) who worship Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Women are welcome in the Republican party, provided that they have cooked something nice for the Church pot lock.
Democrat
The party symbol for the Democrat is the donkey, because when the Democrats were coming up with party symbols, the Democrats wanted the worst possible animal outside of the turkey. Democrats have long held the unpopular and controversial stance of wanting to spend people's money all willy-nilly on government that has become so bloated that it makes Anna Nicole Smith look like Kate Moss.
Libertarian
Libertarians, like Republicans, believe that government should be smaller and that taxes should be lower; however, like liberal Democrats, libertarians also believe that the government should have no little to bearing over social issues, such as freedom of speech and drug laws. The libertarian party also believes that the government should be run primarily by state governments and that each state should have their own militia. Each state's militia would raise money by invading other states and stealing their money, because there would be no federal or state imposed taxes. Public schools would be funded by the luxury taxes placed upon legal child pornography and drugs. Also, goats and livestock would be an accepted form of paying these taxes.
Green
The Green party is the Christianity of political parties: it is a whole bunch of good ideas that don't work out in real life. The Green party believes in taxing the living hell out of everything that we could tax: pollution, marijuana, pornography, prostitution; all of which would go toward Americans living in a quasi-socialistic utopia. The government, using its newfound wealth, would provide the finest free, public education in the world to all of its citizens, who would make a minimum "living wage" of $12 an hour. Also, trees will no longer shed leaves in the fall, they will shed money. Free vegan-friendly gumdrops would be handed out every day to all people feeling sad, and every Thursday at 7 pm would be the government sponsored weekly fun-run, which includes a barbecue and a dance.
courtesy of http://taftese.tripod.com/archive/2002/politcalparties.html