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View Full Version : Diet GURUS - My Girlfriend needs serious help



PhillyBZ
04-02-2005, 02:54 PM
Hi, I am writing to you all about my girlfriend who is getting REALLY depressed and balling tears everynight because of her appearance and waste size. First of all, she is a long-distance runner, she is 22, and she has been on a div-1 track team for 3 years and quit like a year ago. She runs EVERYDAY and does around 80-90 miles of running a week on a treadmill and on warm days outside. She has been in one marathon. She is GREAT at running and has been running her whole life basically. Her problem is that she does not eat A THING, basically nothing. In the morning she eats about a half a cup of cheerios, and like two drops of lactaid, and the rest of the day chews sugarless gum, drinks diet soda, and has maybe a little bit of fruit (like a piece). Now, I am a big eater, and lemme tell you, she has to be burning over 1000 calories a day, and is taking in barely 100-200 calories a day. She should be losing weight right? However, she recently has been trying on her pants and she says she can't fit into a size two anymore and is now a size 4. I have been teaching her to lift a little bit...but she can't do a lot of weight at all. I don't understand what is going on, and I ask anyone who has any experience with this to help me out...cause I am left wordless. Thanks - she always tells me "I eat nothing and I'm still fat", "I look like sh*t and there's nothing to do about it", and I cannot come up with anything else to say...
this could go either in diet forum or general health forum, but I think this is more an issue of diet...but she will not eat A THING, she does not touch meat, and she has developed this attitude towards food taht anything she eats will make her fat....

getfit
04-02-2005, 03:11 PM
i think she has some sort of psychological eating disorder! alot of women are as thin as sticks and look at themselves in the mirror and think they're fat!

Collegekid
04-02-2005, 03:12 PM
First of all, she's definitely eating more than 100-200 calories or she wouldn't be functioning.

It kinda sounds like she may have an image and/or eating disorder. Excessive exercise, unhealthy eating habits and being overly-concious and unrealistic about your appearance are all signs of eating disorders, and it sounds like she has all three.

A size 2 or 4 is still very small, so maybe she doesn't have that much fat left to lose. Who knows....if I were you I would just tell her that she looks great and should stop worrying about it

IRN-BRU
04-02-2005, 03:51 PM
Dump her she is a psycho:-) Tell her to see a doctor. She must eat stuff she's not telling you about. She's not fat she's just pissing obese people off. I suppose she's pretty too. :eyeroll: :-)

She needs to stop running so much and work out. Being so skinny makes a little bit of fat look flabby. If she had some muscles she'd look better. Being very thin is a vicious cycle, she needs to bulk up some muscles then diet.

ReelBigFish
04-02-2005, 04:25 PM
she def. has an eating disorder bro. Been there done that and i can tell by the things you metioned that she does cause i used to do the same thing. Very little milk, tons of gum, and a piece of fruit or two. Get her help now bro seriously.

usertim
04-02-2005, 04:25 PM
Yo Dude, heres the thing... What she's basically done is restrict food intake and yet run a lot, meaning she needs some sort of energy source. Her logic, and a million other girl's in the world is that by doing so, the body will shift into a stage and burn fat. That would be true when she was starting out, but not now. It's pretty much standard that muscles require a lot of calories right? That's why really powerful guys with a lot of muscles can burn calories like crazy. The body has shifted into muscle burning.

So, what does that mean?

Of course, like all the other guys in this forum, it would be nice to convince her not to be so tough on herself etc. But somehow I don't think it will work. So if that doesn't work, let's try my way.

The Body needs to reconfigure itself into burning fat again, or else anytime she eats and fat even builds up, no amount of running will get rid of it. That's why she says she never loses fat. Tell her if she actually wants to fit into very small pants, she has to eat like a normal person. I personally wouldn't do the Atkin's way, but thats just me.

Eat Bread, eggs, meat, vegetables, some fat. If taste doesn't matter to her, maybe some oatmeal, brown bread, eggs, very lean meat, vegetables, Omega-3 Fish oil etc. Personally I dislike the taste, but it should be healthier.

I guarentee her weight will shoot up, she'll probably gain some fat, and most people would tell me im an idiot right there. But thats only because the body needs to reconfigure itself into absoring calories from food, and not from the muscles anymore, and that process will create unwanted results. But in a couple weeks, if she sticks with what I say, and not just drop back into what she was doing before, keeping up the exercising, eating FAT intake as well, she'll start burning fat again. She'll feel better, don't know if she'll be lighter, but she'll look skinnier and fit into those damn small pants.

Hope to hear the results.

PhillyBZ
04-02-2005, 05:04 PM
Collegekid: From personal experience, (cause I know what she eats and how much of it) she eats 2-3 SMALL things of cereal, with a little bit of lactaid. I am talking small - she uses a drinking cup to put her cereal in. So, I am guessing 2 cups, which is more precisely about 200-300 calories a day - it's really upsetting to me. She drinks a lot of water around her workouts though.

IRN-BRU: Like I told Collegekid, I know what she eats, and when. You got the pretty part correct though hehe. I can't stop her from running, she once told me that she "works so hard" to try and get her weight down, but she's only getting fatter...but she really does love to run. My opinion is that she is normal. She has a mom who is kinda chunky and short and her dad is normal size. She is 5'3, so she tells me that a size 4 is too big for a girl of her size, I dont know women sizes though.

ReelBigFish: I agree with you. You said you have been through it, what medical help have you been given and what have you changed? I want to be able to help her myself, b/c I think telling her to go see a doctor might be very traumatic or something.

Usertim: I agree with what you are saying, but is this proven to work? If this is not 100% true, then she will not believe it. As it is, she will not go anywhere near food, it's horrible....She is VERY stubborn, and she is so depressed now b/c even though she doesn't eat, she is growing out of her pants size. She used to wear a size 2 in sophomore year, and now she is a 4,. She always compares herself to other girls who are skinny, and says "why cant I be liek them" "i hate myself" , "why do I have to be so fat"...etc...it goes on and on....it's getting to be a really big problem that is out of control.
Edit- eating more food is almost out of the question right now, she hasnt eaten fat I think in 6 years I would guess...she hasn't touched a piece of meat since she was a little kid, and she is disgusted with the thought of fish, let alone tasting anything from a fish. She can eat chicken, and salad, and cereal though. SO, if she doesnt get her cereal in, she will have a piece (I mean like 2 small pieces) of chicken and lettuce to fill herself up with

I don't understand how her situation is at all possible, like collegekid's comment, HOW is she even alive???

getfit
04-02-2005, 05:10 PM
i'm sorry to hear this but i gotta say it she needs help!!!
maybe she should read up on eating disorders! this could get very serious and result will be her health will detoriate

neartaigh
04-02-2005, 05:11 PM
She has an eating disorder.

I`m 5'0, 130lbs, and I wear a size 6. I`m not too big. My bodyfat percentage (yes, I lift, so I have more lbm than most women my size) is around 18%.

She has probably shifted her metabolism into starvation mode. She`s also not getting near enough micronutrients. One such micronutrient is potassium-- this is the one that was out of balance, and contributed to Terry Schiavo's descent into a vegetative state.

I`m being dramatic, because starving to death and hating yourself while you do it is a really good way to die quick and lead a short miserable life.

If you love your g/f, get her some help. Pronto.

-neartaigh

Vido
04-02-2005, 05:13 PM
I don't think it's physically possible to run 80-90 miles/week on 700-1400 calories/week...at least not for any extended period of time.

I call BS.

PhillyBZ
04-02-2005, 05:17 PM
I don't think it's physically possible to run 80-90 miles/week on 700-1400 calories/week...at least not for any extended period of time.

I call BS.

All I know is that this is NOT BS, it's true, I'm sorry that you don't believe me, I don't believe how this is possible, but she has been doing it for a while so far...

Around the clock, she eats gum, drinks tea, drinks diet sodas, but nothing substantial...I think I will tell her that she has to go see a doctor then.

getfit
04-02-2005, 05:21 PM
just a little note hear my sister had an eating disorder"anorexia" and was hospitalized twice so get some help pronto!

Beast
04-02-2005, 05:29 PM
She is probably binging late at night. She is either lying to you about her diet or training or both.

PhillyBZ
04-02-2005, 05:30 PM
She is probably binging late at night. She is either lying to you about her diet or training or both.
I'm sorry beast, but this is not true. I am with her every night, and basically all the time this year. I also know about her training b/c I work at the gym and she is there for 2 hours minimum.

Dirt
04-02-2005, 05:35 PM
All I know is that this is NOT BS, it's true, I'm sorry that you don't believe me, I don't believe how this is possible, but she has been doing it for a while so far...

Around the clock, she eats gum, drinks tea, drinks diet sodas, but nothing substantial...I think I will tell her that she has to go see a doctor then.

I don't think Vido was neccessarily claiming you're lying intentionally, but the story certainly doesn't add up. I agree with him & Beast. It sounds like she's binging at night or lying to you about something at least. Eating what you listed as well as the amount of exercise she is apparently doing is impossible to maintain over any appreciable amount of time. She'd end up suffering organ failure. Regardless, I'm not going to nit-pick the details of your story. If anything is remotely true, she definitely needs to see a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist.

PhillyBZ
04-02-2005, 05:39 PM
I don't think Vido was neccessarily claiming you're lying intentionally, but the story certainly doesn't add up. I agree with him & Beast. It sounds like she's binging at night or lying to you about something at least. Eating what you listed as well as the amount of exercise she is apparently doing is impossible to maintain over any appreciable amount of time. She'd end up suffering organ failure. Regardless, I'm not going to nit-pick the details of your story. If anything is remotely true, she definitely needs to see a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist.

I'm sorry for coming off as defensive, which I am trying not to be so I want to apologize to Vido and Beast. What would be your answer to the minimum amount of calories she should be eating then? I know the story does not seem possible, but it's happening right now, and I know it's true. She has told me that she wants to be like she was freshman year when she was eating a salad and 2 egg whites for like 2meals a day. She would not lie about the past either...
One of my reasons to come to this board was to discuss if this is in fact possible to do - I believe that she has gotten so used to not eating that she just doesn't eat - she has told me herself - she does school work all the time - and she just does not "think" about eating...

Manveet
04-02-2005, 05:39 PM
Get her some psychological help fast.

There is nothing we can say on this board that can solve any of her potential problems.

Dirt
04-02-2005, 05:45 PM
I'm sorry beast, but this is not true. I am with her every night, and basically all the time this year. I also know about her training b/c I work at the gym and she is there for 2 hours minimum.

Quit posting and go get her help. I'm not even sure why you'd need to make a post about this. It should be painfully apparent by just looking at her that she needs help. The fact you know how much she trains and how little she eats should make it even more obvious. The more you post the more I think you're a troll.

When your caloric intake is 100-200 calories a day, you're starving, regardless of what you do, even if you're laying on a couch motionless all day. A person could last a few weeks like that until they were visibly emaciated and suffering serious consequences (such as death). Burning an additional 1000 calories on top of everything else is just absurd. You'd never have the energy to continue doing so after a few days. Claiming this is her lifestyle is nothing short of unbelievable. Another thing leading me to doubt your posts is your claim that she is a size 4. I've never heard of any anorexic being a size 4. Doing what she apparently does, she should be dead, and if not dead nothing more than skin and bones.

Anyway, this is my last post in this thread. Go buy a clue. If you're with your GF non-stop and see her doing this at home and at the gym there's something wrong with both of you. Her for having an eating disorder and you for allowing it to go on for so long.

PhillyBZ
04-02-2005, 05:46 PM
just a little note hear my sister had an eating disorder"anorexia" and was hospitalized twice so get some help pronto!

K, I will let her know that she needs to go see a doctor right away...I just hoped there would be another way to help her that's all. Thanks everyone

Vido
04-02-2005, 05:54 PM
Anyway, this is my last post in this thread. Go buy a clue. If you're with your GF non-stop and see her doing this at home and at the gym there's something wrong with both of you. Her for having an eating disorder and you for allowing it to go on for so long.

:withstupi This is harsh, but true...perhaps the only way the message can be delivered and have the desired effect.

PhillyBZ
04-02-2005, 05:55 PM
Quit posting and go get her help. I'm not even sure why you'd need to make a post about this. It should be painfully apparent by just looking at her that she needs help. The fact you know how much she trains and how little she eats should make it even more obvious. The more you post the more I think you're a troll.

When your caloric intake is 100-200 calories a day, you're starving, regardless of what you do, even if you're laying on a couch motionless all day. A person could last a few weeks like that until they were visibly emaciated and suffering serious consequences (such as death). Burning an additional 1000 calories on top of everything else is just absurd. You'd never have the energy to continue doing so after a few days. Claiming this is her lifestyle is nothing short of unbelievable. Another thing leading me to doubt your posts is your claim that she is a size 4. I've never heard of any anorexic being a size 4. Doing what she apparently does, she should be dead, and if not dead nothing more than skin and bones.

Anyway, this is my last post in this thread. Go buy a clue. If you're with your GF non-stop and see her doing this at home and at the gym there's something wrong with both of you. Her for having an eating disorder and you for allowing it to go on for so long.
First of all, I love this forum , and I look up to a lot of the people here. I am going to use this thread to show her that I have proof, THAT"S ALL, I want to show her it's not just me that is telling her to go see a doctor, cuase you know what? She won't listen to me cause she's in DENIAL and she won't listen to all the information and facts on the web and in magazines and stuff like that either. SERiously, CALM DOWN man, I'm already nervous and scared for her, you are not helping things... noone told you to post in here anyways , and I'm sorry it's so unbearable to post like this. THANK YOU GET FIT and to all the other who have posted simliar experiences, this will help open her eyes, and maybe convince her to go see a doctor - and since Iposted in here, I wanted to konw what I could do to help get her diet straight again and what to watch out for - again THANK YOU usertim.

Manveet
04-02-2005, 06:08 PM
First of all, I love this forum , and I look up to a lot of the people here. I am going to use this thread to show her that I have proof, THAT"S ALL, I want to show her it's not just me that is telling her to go see a doctor, cuase you know what? She won't listen to me cause she's in DENIAL and she won't listen to all the information and facts on the web and in magazines and stuff like that either. SERiously, CALM DOWN man, I'm already nervous and scared for her, you are not helping things... noone told you to post in here anyways , and I'm sorry it's so unbearable to post like this. THANK YOU GET FIT and to all the other who have posted simliar experiences, this will help open her eyes, and maybe convince her to go see a doctor - and since Iposted in here, I wanted to konw what I could do to help get her diet straight again and what to watch out for - again THANK YOU usertim.

First step is to talk to her parents.

You can eventually have a court order for her to have treatment, if she does not seek it herself.

getfit
04-02-2005, 06:14 PM
guys this is a scary situation! a little helping hand means alot! :)

Jabberwocky
04-02-2005, 09:48 PM
Maybe she feels uncomfortable eating around you?

spencerjrus
04-02-2005, 11:17 PM
Tell her shes either going to start eating a reasonable amount of food or you will force her to get professional treatment, when someone has a firmly distorted self image there isnt really alot more you can do.

Spartan936
04-02-2005, 11:31 PM
Sit down with her and get a calm discussion going. Tell her everyone is concerned, she's not fat (size 4!??!?), and that your ready to help her out in getting back into a healthy lifestyle. Definitely consider having her see a doc, just to be safe.

Built
04-02-2005, 11:42 PM
Dunno if it'll help to tell her this, but im my thirties, I once gained 30 lbs in three years jogging 10k 3x a week on low fat, low protein, high complex carbs, low calories. Damned near wrecked my health. Didn't seem to matter WHAT I did - I just kept gaining.

Now I'm a size four, and cutting on 2000 calories a day. At 41.

Watching and timing my carbs to correspond with my lifting, and ditching most of the cardio fixed my metabolism.

And I would NEVER have believed it if I hadn't actually done it.

Your girlfriend needs help.

Lucky she has you.

dissipate
04-03-2005, 09:15 AM
Please get her help ASAP.

pruneman
04-03-2005, 09:26 AM
Please get her help ASAP.

:withstupi Cannot emphasize this enough

_-_v_-_
04-03-2005, 09:56 AM
If you can't be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.

If you don't get her help, she's going to be the latter, I'm afraid.

PhillyBZ
04-03-2005, 01:03 PM
Thanks to everyone who offered helpful advice, right now I am helping her eat smaller more frequent meals, like 4-5 meals. I think I was off on the calorie per day thing - I believe her total adds up to more like 700-800 cal/day not 100-200, I apologize about that. But, it is still severely low. If I don't see her eating again, then I will call a doctor myself. See, everytime she talks about it with her parents, they get angry at her and start yelling. Thanks guys, some of the comments made in this discussion have really helped her out.

Built
04-03-2005, 01:41 PM
Get her to lift weights. Tell her it will lean her out and increase her metabolism (which it will)

And thanks for clarifying on the calories.

It's really hard with people with ED to track their calories - the often hide when they eat.

shansen008
04-03-2005, 02:21 PM
At the very least, start her on a multivitamin. She is probably malnutritioned. First things first you know?

Her body is definitely in long term starvation mode. If you dont give it the calories it needs, its going to start breaking down lbm to store as fat. This would explain why she is getting "fatter" while still doing so much cardio. First thing i would have her do is start adding in JUST protein to her meals she does eat. Start her off slow. You said she will eat chicken....so put that put that on the menu at least once a day. If she gives her body protein, she will stop catabolizing her own lbm. Have some baked chicken and sweet potatoes for dinner tonight and see how she lieks it.

Most important thing is consistancy, dont let her give up after just a few days. Make her commit to at least trying it out for a month. Dont let her weight herself every day either...it will just drive her nuts. In fact forget "weight" altogether. Just bring her here to this forum to see Built's Avatar and say, "Honey wouldnt you like to look like that? EAT!"

gl

abwowang
04-03-2005, 02:35 PM
good luck phillybz... hope things work out..

sounds like a real scary situation..
there are a lot of good things about this situation thus far.. like she drinks a lot of water which can help increase metabolism and she used to be a hardcore athlete so she knows about patience and dedication and hardwork..

good luck

jbarba
04-04-2005, 08:48 PM
tell if that if she really loves you she will eat more. Threaten to leave her or to call her parents if she does not eat at least 3 healthy meals a day. Cook for her.Be a friend be supportive but dont be afraid to show some tough love. If all this fails I would dump her and call her parents. Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom in order ot get better.

pfc3rex
04-05-2005, 01:15 AM
First of all, she's definitely eating more than 100-200 calories or she wouldn't be functioning.

It kinda sounds like she may have an image and/or eating disorder. Excessive exercise, unhealthy eating habits and being overly-concious and unrealistic about your appearance are all signs of eating disorders, and it sounds like she has all three.

A size 2 or 4 is still very small, so maybe she doesn't have that much fat left to lose. Who knows....if I were you I would just tell her that she looks great and should stop worrying about it

:withstupi

chris6969
04-05-2005, 11:08 AM
could you provide some pics of her in a bikini or naked :) so I can verify how "fat" or "skinny" she is. Looking in the mirror, most people feel fatter than they are.... but when everyone else looks at them, they see something entirely different. So post a picture of her here..... (blur face so she won't get mad) You'll probably get like 100 responses.... "She's HOT!", "She's skinny", etc...

then show her all of the good responses!