Cubicle Life

[Unholy]

Personally I hate it, It does have its perks like sitting on WBB and AIM 7 hours a day :D . Hope my boss is reading this, You fat fcuk!!!

What do you guys think about The office BS.

[drew]

I hate when people bother me. I get my work done, leave me the fcuk alone and get yours done and stop asking me for help.

[Hatred]

I hate being monitored.
Every once in a while I'd type
**** you Steven" at random to let the IT guy know that I knew he was watching.

[Unholy]

haha, now thats good, I bring my own laptop to work so no monitoring for me, quite honestly I do about 15 minutes of work a day, the rest is surfing time, we do ridiculous **** at my job just for ****s and giggles.

We have cubicle wars.

I go lunch hunting in the shared fridge.

We made movie segments called "The Corporate Sector" A bunch of mini films of my friend and I doing hilarious **** in the office.

Im a cubicle ninja, we own annoying co workers :D

We have electronic staplers I modified to shoot and penetrate cubicle Lining. All in all we do some pretty funny ****.

[D Breyer]

yea, cubical life sucks

[RBB]

office life sucks in general. i hate sitting here and having nothing to do, and the worst thing is you run out of things to look at on the internet after about noon.

[Unholy]

theres always pr0n, I also play World of warcraft and HL2 alot lol.

[SW]

Where ya work at, Paul? If I ever had to be in a cubicle, I would lose it the first day. I have to be moving, that's why school is so hard for me.

[meltedtime]

Sitting around doing nothing all day and getting paid for it, tough life. No wonder corporations are constantly laying off and down-sizing. What is it that they are paying you to do?

[Unholy]

I work here, www.serviceevaluation.com they pay me to sit and surf WBB aparently.

[Guido]

office life sucks in general. i hate sitting here and having nothing to do, and the worst thing is you run out of things to look at on the internet after about noon.D00d, you can never run out of things to look at on the internet! Pretty much what I do for a good 6 hours out of the day. It's about the only time I have to be on WBB. :D

[SW]

So....you evaluate what a customer thinks?

[TheMachine]

This is the perfect thread for me, I've been so sick of office life lately. I too get paid to surf the internet, it is really sad. I'm starting to wonder if working in an office raises your estrogen levels. Any endocrinologists care to comment?

[bigpoppapump979]

probably not but i bet working at a gym would raise your test levels...

[TheMachine]

probably not but i bet working at a gym would raise your test levels...

I was totally joking, it just seems like offices are mazes of woman in one of two states.....dolled up and in estrous....or 6 months pregnant....either way it makes for a very high estrogen environment.

[SpecialK]

I can totally relate to this. I spend most of my day surfing and generally being bored because there is nothing to do.

This is an internship though. Once I get a real job it will be much different. I want to work for Intel and know a few people who work there and say there is never a dull moment. I hope they are right.

[Praetorian]

damn. i would love to be a corporate wh*re and have a 9-5 cubicle job.

[jostrichm]

Here's some things to keep you occupied (pulled from an old email I had):


When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around it will take some time before they find that one out!

Put a peice of onion or a clove of garlic inside the mouthpiece of a phone. Give it some time for it to fester and build up a strong odor. Then call them and keep them on the phone for as long as possible.

It is allways a good habit to lock your computer before heading off for coffee or a smoke. When someone forgets and leaves a Word document or an email open, type a single word somewhere in the text. “f*ck” or so will do nicely. They’ll never notice and send it out.

Get a hold of someone's cell phone and change the greeting banner to say "NO SERVICE". Many cell phones have greeting banners on them that you can personalize to say whatever you want them to and it stays on there when you're not using your phone. Also, when there is no service where you are, most cell phone companies have a banner that pops up on your screen saying "no service".

Take a can of non gel shaving cream, and put it in a freezer. When it is frozen remove the bottom of the can and put it in co worker's drawer. When it melts it expands and explodes all over everything.

Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer, and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple prank that will send the novice user into a frenzy. Configure the AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you suck!". They will usually panick and start scanning for viruses.

Take clear tape and tape the underside of the mouse. Make sure you take the sticky end of the tape and apply it to the bottom of the mouse so it locks the ball in place. The victim will most likely check the connections in the back, reinstall drivers, reboot, etc., before they realize what has happened.

Do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!

This will mostly only work with people with very little PC knowledge. Stick in a floppy in there floppy drive. They will be unable to boot up windows until the disk is out. This is fun to watch.

Try to find a very obnoxious CD laying around. Preferably a reggae or rap CD. Pop it in their CD ROM. Put up the sound full blast by double clicking on the volume control on the bottom right. On normal configurations the audio CD will autoplay when windows first starts up. The person starting up there PC in the morning will definitely be embarrassed.

This is for that special person you just cant stand in the office, the one who talks on the phone all day with their boyfriend/girlfriend and gets personal e-mail all day. Go into their e-mail and change their defaults to autmatically "blind carbon copy" their boss or supervisor. Heads will roll!

Change the coffee in the office coffe maker to decafe. Wait about three weeks(or untill you think everybody has gotten over their caffine addiction)and switch to expresso!

Try "password securing" someone's screen saver. First I suggest changing the screen saver to "scrolling marque" and inserting your own word or phrase, "Mr. Jones (president or supervisor) eats SHlT" or something to that effect.

With someone who is on the phone a lot during work - This works if you have phones that the handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpeice inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpeice. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.

Depending where you are at you may have a cafeteria in you place of work. Every week most of them put out a menu so you know what they are serving. Usually it is done on Word or Excel, and not extremely fancy. With a little work, matching fonts, and images you can make your own menus, and post them by your desk. We had one co-worker avoid the cafeteria for 2 weeks because of the selection "fish head stew" etc... before he caught on. Works great with picky eaters.

My absolutely most favorite prank I have saved for last. It is so simple to do and yields such nice results. Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.

[Unholy]

Wow, since I love my co workers, I will pull every single one of these pranks for the next couple of months, I will keep you all updated with pics. Thats right ;)

[Unholy]

I relay call everyone :D

[Orange357]

damn. i would love to be a corporate wh*re and have a 9-5 cubicle job.


me too. basically what I do now anyway....

[sublime99]

God to see others share my suffering of living in a cubicle. I have done the garlic and onion one to a guy that is such a kiss ass it was f@##ing funny as hell, but it does seriously stink to high hell. I just did the tape one to my cubicle neighbor he is still trying to figure it out lol. I will do the You suck one this afternoon to my boss. But seriously we get paid to talk to people we don't want to talk to and surf the internet.

[Paul Stagg]

Back when I worked in a busier office, we had a number of fun little tricks.

One was to send faxes to co-workers phones. Every time the fax failed, it would redial. Funny as hell. They'd eventually stop anwsering the phone, and their voice mail would fill up.

We also learned that (at least at the time) if you unhooked a PC keyboard and then hooked it back up, it would stop working and you'd have to reboot. Very funny in a call center, where the person wouldn't realise the problem until they had a customer on the phone and couldn't do anything.

Rearranging desks was fun. As was the old ink on the phone trick.

[Unholy]

Just Did the keyboard one, I took a pic, I wonder what the guys reaction will be.

[bgs1154]

Hatred and Holy, you guys know you have the same pose in your avatar? lol

[Meat_Head]

Im a cubicle ninja, we own annoying co workers :D



lmao did you see the cubicle ninja vid clip? I don't remember what website it was on, hilarious ****. The guy called his co worker and immediately hung out, while the other guy was like "hello? hello?" he'd move the cubicle wall further toward the guy on the phone, giving himself more space :evillaugh

[Guido]

Office Space = Best. Movie. Ever. And only because it's so true...

[Unholy]

lol yeah meat head I have, good times.

Today I switched my co-workers m and n keys. Nothing happened because he doesnt look at the keyboard while he types.

He calls over the boss/owner of the company to show him somethign about a new client. they are having a discussion about trying to prospect Northfork Bank. My boss goes to type the website but cant because the keys are switched. We are all laughing and he just gets mad at my co worker and walks away cursing at the computer. My little buddy figured it out but didnt say anything while the Jefe was there.

[SW]

Dammit Paul, you're just a muscled chunk of trouble lol. I look foreward to more of these "stories" :lurk:

[Unholy]

naaaa, its just good fun.

[J450n]

Personally I hate it, It does have its perks like sitting on WBB and AIM 7 hours a day :D . Hope my boss is reading this, You fat fcuk!!!

What do you guys think about The office BS.

Easy life! I'd swop in a second.

[Unholy]

Easy life! I'd swop in a second.

It gets stale very quickly

[cphafner]

I share a cube with someone. I work in a team of 4, and we are constantly interacting, so we removed the walls between us and the neioghboring cube, so it's not bad.

No WBB for me though, it's blocked.

[Unholy]

blocked!!!< use a proxy service :D

[Unholy]

Okay, my My boss is having an affair with the owner of the company :D, I love pushing her buttons. For example today, I get an email from her.

"Please email me and let me know what you would do if you received this email?"

Along with it is an atached AUTO PDF containing thr 1st Q reporting for one of our clients.

My resposnse :D

Subject: RE: Auto PDF : No email addresses found

Probably Ignore it.

Have a nice day,
Paul Kolbusz for feedback
Service Evaluation Concepts
feedback@serviceevalutaion.com
1(516)714-0323

I cc'ed the whole office, They were counting the minutes till I get fired. :D Suprisingly enough all i got back was.

Not a good answer.

"You would print and fax it to the store so that they got the results in a timely fashion. Then check the COT to see what, if any, e-mail address were on file and contact the client to verify that it was correct or to get an e-mail address."


What Can I say, I tried, Until next time Peace :evillaugh

[_8_Ball]

You pull the following on the guy who thinks he's a tech god!

Pull out his network cable from the wall or the PC and put a very small piece of scotch tape over one end and plug it back in.

Should keep him busy for a while... :-)

8

[Unholy]

Wifi :d

[Unholy]

You pull the following on the guy who thinks he's a tech god!

Pull out his network cable from the wall or the PC and put a very small piece of scotch tape over one end and plug it back in.

Should keep him busy for a while... :-)

8


Okay one looser here is still on the old citrix server using Lan, I just did it, not only did i put tape on it i did it on the end tha was plugged into the wall, the smart ass took the plug out of the computer and used some dust off, he would have seen it. Finally an IT guy got him a new cable :(

[-TIM-]

My hatred for cubicle life is seasonal. It would be nice to be outside in the spring or fall, but I love working from a desk when it's 100 degrees outside, or 10 below zero. I'm reminded of it every time I'm getting gas in the morning and the guy next to me is in 10 layers of clothing, getting cups of hot coffee to keep warm while he's preparing for his day.

[DieselTwin]

Cubical life does indeed stink. I sit in one temporarily. The human mind was made for more than this. Thank God I own a business outside of this so it's only temporary. There's so many other things I can be doing besides getting up at a time I don't want to, going to a place I don't want to go, being with people I don't really like, eating at a time that I don't really want to eat, and being allowed to go sit in traffic all over again. Yuck.

As far as the cubicle itself, if you have one that is "carpeted" (so that you can post 'important' things with push pins,) there is usually a 10 inch long thin piece of carpeted cubicle you can peel out and use as a blackjack on fellow coworkers. We have tons of blackjack wars, just beating on each other.

[donraja]

I relay call everyone :D

that's funny, im a relay operator

[zer06ame]

hahaha are you really a relay operator? how do you even get a job like that
i mess around on IP relay so much, i did it so many times one weekend they stopped using "swear" words :-\

it would appear that some still do it though, usually i get the "please hold until a manager is present" :D

[Unholy]

Yeah, if you ad the buddy "my ip relay" to you buddylist and then message them the word call you can relay through aim, its quite entertaining.

[donraja]

well i work for sprint relay, not ip relay.... but its basically the same service..

there's a call center here in miami and a friend of mine that worked there said they were hiring soo i applied and got the job. after they hire you, you're supposed to maintain an average typing speed of 60wpm and you're tested almost every month for typing speed.

i love the prank calls and tend to play along too much. i might get in trouble one of these days lol

[Unholy]

haha, I use sprint relay from work but since im using an IP spoofer my IP comes up as being from out of the US and it wont let me make calls from home :(

[D Breyer]

well i work for sprint relay, not ip relay.... but its basically the same service..

is it a well paying job?

[donraja]

lol not really, i make a little over 8 bucks an hour.
but the hours are really flexible since they're open 24/7. i find the flexibility important since im in college.

[Crashman]

life in the stall does suck, but imagine how much worse it was before without internet... fawk, I'd probably go crazy if I had no internet @ work

[Unholy]

agreed. I know some peopel that work on Oracle for 7 hours a day, no net :(