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MJC097
03-08-2006, 08:28 AM
Well... I never thought I would be one of those guys asking for gf help on the boards like this, but from what I have seen before you guys do a pretty good job dealing with stuff like this so I am going to have to give this a try.

Anyway, me and my girlfriend (well, now ex-girlfriend) have been going out for about 6 months and we met when we came to college. Now, my school had a long winter break so because of that we couldn't really see each other that much about 4 months into the relationship, I only saw her about 3-4 days out of the month long break.

When I came back to school in the spring, things started of well but after a few weeks I could feel she felt differently about me. She no longer seemed like she cared about me as much, this made me annoyed and just caused a lot of bull**** fighting. So anyway, I couldn't deal with her not being fully with me so we broke up last night, but I am trying to figure out why this happened. She can't tell me one reason why she felt a change which makes me think she is 1) lying to me or 2) has no idea what she wants

I started to look back at her past relationship before she met me and she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years when they moved away to school and within a few weeks was interested in me. What I was wondering is if it seems reasonable that two people can change so drastically in a month to create problems like this or if we had a problem origionally that one or both of us just ignored.

My feeling is she wasn't ready for a relationship but is just afraid to be alone and was with me and just ignored a problem that we had when we first met, explaining why she can't point out what changed, or she still feels the same way as she did before and is just confused now and needs to figure stuff out before she comes around again.

So anyway, what is your take on all this, if you need more info just let me know. Thanks everyone

ArchAngel777
03-08-2006, 08:35 AM
Well... I never thought I would be one of those guys asking for gf help on the boards like this, but from what I have seen before you guys do a pretty good job dealing with stuff like this so I am going to have to give this a try.

Anyway, me and my girlfriend (well, now ex-girlfriend) have been going out for about 6 months and we met when we came to college. Now, my school had a long winter break so because of that we couldn't really see each other that much about 4 months into the relationship, I only saw her about 3-4 days out of the month long break.

When I came back to school in the spring, things started of well but after a few weeks I could feel she felt differently about me. She no longer seemed like she cared about me as much, this made me annoyed and just caused a lot of bull**** fighting. So anyway, I couldn't deal with her not being fully with me so we broke up last night, but I am trying to figure out why this happened. She can't tell me one reason why she felt a change which makes me think she is 1) lying to me or 2) has no idea what she wants

I started to look back at her past relationship before she met me and she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years when they moved away to school and within a few weeks was interested in me. What I was wondering is if it seems reasonable that two people can change so drastically in a month to create problems like this or if we had a problem origionally that one or both of us just ignored.

My feeling is she wasn't ready for a relationship but is just afraid to be alone and was with me and just ignored a problem that we had when we first met, explaining why she can't point out what changed, or she still feels the same way as she did before and is just confused now and needs to figure stuff out before she comes around again.

So anyway, what is your take on all this, if you need more info just let me know. Thanks everyone

When you stop trying to figure it out, you will be much happier. That is the truth... You cannot simply categorize all females into one category. So there are many reasons, infinate reasons why she may have had a change of heart with you. Even in marriage, things get distant, then they get better, then distant. What keeps a relationship together is commitment, in my opinion. Because when the times get rough, running away from the problem isn't going to do anything. Once you get past the problem, most people are happy they didn't leave the relationship.

Well, take care and find someone who is interested in you... With a few million girls around your age, you should be able to find one :D

galileo
03-08-2006, 08:40 AM
The solution is to have sex with at least 3 of her friends. If she has a sister, I'd also investigate my options there.

Skinny Fat
03-08-2006, 08:50 AM
xian knows his sh*t.

MJC097
03-08-2006, 08:50 AM
Well I was thinking along the lines of 5, one of which being her mother... but that could work too

galileo
03-08-2006, 08:55 AM
This is false logic, my friend. No attractive girl can have more than 3 attractive friends. All others must be ugly for favorable comparison. Unless your ex-girlfriend is the ugly one of the group, the chances of you finding 4 is much lower.

DumbDude
03-08-2006, 08:58 AM
You are in college... you dont have to put up with some girls bull****! This is the time of your life and you should enjoy it by dating as many girls as you can so you know what you want when you turn 30.

TwiloMike
03-08-2006, 09:05 AM
I started to look back at her past relationship before she met me and she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years when they moved away to school and within a few weeks was interested in me.
Say "rebound". Say it again. Got it?


What I was wondering is if it seems reasonable that two people can change so drastically in a month to create problems like this or if we had a problem origionally that one or both of us just ignored.
You didn't have to ignore a problem, you may not even have been aware that there was a problem- it seems that the issue is with your ex-gf. She may have had conflicting feelings, perhaps she didn't want to get into another relationship off the bat, perhaps she wants to play the field and be single for a while?


My feeling is she wasn't ready for a relationship but is just afraid to be alone and was with me and just ignored a problem that we had when we first met, explaining why she can't point out what changed, or she still feels the same way as she did before and is just confused now and needs to figure stuff out before she comes around again.
Or she may be into someone else now. Like one of my friends says, "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone." She may be searching for the best one to get under. Meh.

razorcut
03-08-2006, 09:28 AM
Or she may be into someone else now. My gut feeling also.

Save yourself as much personal drama as possible and move on. I know it's easier said than done. But if she's not into you, there's nothing that can be done to change her feelings toward you.

MJC097
03-08-2006, 09:45 AM
Well I know that there is some guy who likes her... but she swears to me its not even about that. That was my guy feeling too, but I do believe her if she says its not about him. I just think that she felt like she wanted to try things out with this guy and then she caught her self thinking about it and wondered what would make her do that to me when I didn't do anything to her to make her want to leave me.

I don't really know what I am trying to ask anymore, I guess I am just venting, but it just seems to me like she got me interested for 6 months just for her to tell me she doesn't know what she wants. I would rather have her say that she cant stand me for this and that reason then have to say we are done but we dont even know why

HahnB
03-08-2006, 10:08 AM
If I have ever given any great piece of advise about women it is this. Always look at what she's done in the past, because what a girl has done to 1 guy, she is capable of doing to the next

MJS
03-08-2006, 10:13 AM
The solution is to have sex with at least 3 of her friends. If she has a sister, I'd also investigate my options there.

Man says it well. If she just got out of a 3 year relationship, and met you a few weeks later there is no way that shes completely over the other guy, and sucks to hear, but probably still thinks about him a lot - not necessarily as a boyfriend, but not having someone that you cared about for 3 years around anymore, its natural to feel like something is missing. It may have been a rebound thing.

Also, dude your 18, what a freshman in college? Fck the relationships for now. Get some good guy friends and a few random hookups - i.e. experience college. I did the same sh*t falling for a girl freshman year and it seriously, looking back, ruined it. I missed out on so much.

My advice is just let it roll. Talk to her smooth, don't appear like you are dying to be with her - because honestly even if you are feeling like you are right now, you really aren't. If it works it works, if not it doesn't. That's about the best advice I can give. Sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear - relationship advice is not what you want 99% of the time.

Either way, good luck bro.

bigsethmeister
03-08-2006, 10:25 AM
Who cares?

Find someone else.

Shark
03-08-2006, 10:32 AM
The solution is to have sex with at least 3 of her friends. If she has a sister, I'd also investigate my options there.

I concur as always.

Put it in her roomate, best friend, and sister. That will solve all your woes.

Patz
03-08-2006, 10:45 AM
You were rebound..it's not so bad to be rebound..lol

razorcut
03-08-2006, 10:48 AM
Well I know that there is some guy who likes her... but she swears to me its not even about that. That was my guy feeling too, but I do believe her if she says its not about him.

Why would you believe her over your gut feeling? Rarely does one just magically "lose interest" in a period of one month without some outside influence. I'd cut off all contact with her if you haven't already......it will limit the drama.

Built
03-08-2006, 10:58 AM
Or she may be into someone else now.

This was my very first thought when reading your post.


If I have ever given any great piece of advise about women it is this. Always look at what she's done in the past, because what a girl has done to 1 guy, she is capable of doing to the next

Couldn't agree more. Works for men, too - if he cheated to be with you, he has demonstrated that he cheats. Who wants someone who would cheat on a partner?

MJC097
03-08-2006, 12:29 PM
Well thanks for everyones help, I dont know why it always works this way but I was thinking what everyone said all along, but it makes it feel better having it come from other people.

I guess I was just annoyed since when we started I told her I didn't want a relationship when I first got to college, and she pretty much convinced me into it. I guess it just hurt to have her be the one change her mind after I was reluctant to begin with.

Anyway, I am starting to feel a little better about everything and looking forward to this weekend. I met her the first weekend I came to school so sadly I have not had a full single week of college yet. All I have to say is this is going to be a hell of a first weekend at college

Veritas
03-08-2006, 12:42 PM
Eh, go watch the movie "Swingers." All answers will sequentially be solved.

d'Anconia
03-08-2006, 12:58 PM
Meet 7 hot girls within the next week and you won't even remember who your ex girlfriend is.

galileo
03-08-2006, 01:22 PM
I guess I was just annoyed since when we started I told her I didn't want a relationship when I first got to college, and she pretty much convinced me into it.

How it always is. Go lift some weights and hit on some cardiosluts.

TTT
03-08-2006, 01:43 PM
And then bring them back to your place, have a party, and invite your ex.

David
03-08-2006, 02:01 PM
So anyway, what is your take on all this, if you need more info just let me know. Thanks everyone

What does she look like?

So, you know, we can better assist you with what to do about the whole situation.

HahnB
03-08-2006, 02:03 PM
This was my very first thought when reading your post.



Couldn't agree more. Works for men, too - if he cheated to be with you, he has demonstrated that he cheats. Who wants someone who would cheat on a partner?


Yep. I have a friend who started sleeping with a girl while she was still going out with her now ex boyfriend. Big no no. This girl is now my friends girlfriend. If she did that to him, chances are she will or could do something similar to my friend. The new guy always tends to take a narcissistic point of view about it and think that the girl must just like them so much that it's her first and last time cheating. In reality she will probably do the same thing to them.

Spiderman
03-08-2006, 02:12 PM
Say "rebound". Say it again. Got it?

:withstupi

There's no shame in it, we've all been there. Can you say "Easy sex?" May be hard to get over this seeming like its the first time it happened to you...now, go find another piece of ass like they've all said above me and enjoy yourself.

razorcut
03-08-2006, 03:15 PM
Eh, go watch the movie "Swingers." All answers will sequentially be solved.Exactly. Swingers is the blueprint for life in your 20s.

Jorge Sanchez
03-08-2006, 04:58 PM
First of all, I love seeing threads like this.

Second, shut up and stop bitching.

Bravo
03-09-2006, 03:36 AM
One question. Did you plan on getting married with this girl?

That's what I thought, so why do you care? You're a freshman in college. You should be in mutiple "relationships" & hookups, and really just having a good time learning about yourself. Don't limit yourself, my man. Now get out there and experience life a little.

silentdragonx
03-09-2006, 05:23 AM
OR........she could be a lesbian......

PeterGriffin
03-09-2006, 09:52 AM
Haha.. American college girls... Biggest sluts on the planet. Do you even have to ask?

She probably had a threesome with some frat boys.

merde
03-09-2006, 06:39 PM
OR........she could be a lesbian......
i vote lesbo

Jorge Sanchez
03-09-2006, 07:16 PM
i vote lesbo

What an awesome first post.:thumbup: