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Fart Barker
01-23-2002, 07:29 PM
I will develop the world's most impressive physique simply by benching and curling.

Delphi
01-23-2002, 07:32 PM
Make sure you do inclined bench presses for your upper outer pecs. ;)

Fart Barker
01-23-2002, 07:35 PM
115 x 20

165 x 8

165 x 8

165 x 8

165 x 7

165 x 6

165 x 5

165 x 4

= 9890

Tryska
01-24-2002, 04:10 AM
i am disappointed, mr. barker. tuttut

Fart Barker
01-24-2002, 05:36 PM
65 x 10

85 x 8

85 x 6

85 x 4

65 x 8

65 x 6

65 x 5

65 x 4

= 3675

Fart Barker
01-25-2002, 05:02 PM
115 x 10

115 x 10

165 x 10

215 x 7 :)

215 x 5

165 x 8

165 x 8

115 x 13

= 10,665

Fart Barker
01-26-2002, 12:13 PM
Average Reps - 6.9
Average Weight - 167
Maximum Weight - 275
Total Volume - 74,150

Alex.V
01-26-2002, 12:24 PM
Why, man? why?

PowerManDL
01-26-2002, 01:18 PM
LMAO

Fart Barker
01-27-2002, 12:01 PM
this is where I bench & curl...

Pup
01-27-2002, 12:28 PM
Were this not so damn amusing i'd close the thread simply on principle.

ElPietro
01-27-2002, 12:31 PM
I'm assuming you only workout fridays and saturdays before you head out to the bars right?
:p

Fart Barker
01-27-2002, 02:44 PM
Originally posted by ElPietro
I'm assuming you only workout fridays and saturdays before you head out to the bars right?
:p

hehe :)

Here's my routine...

Monday - Bench

Tuesday - Curl

Wednesday - Bench

Thursday - Curl

Friday - Bench

Saturday - Off

Sunday - Off

My goal is to bench 300 pounds.

heathj
01-27-2002, 02:47 PM
and become a hunchback who is always leaning forward because his chest is bigger then his back? :) Sorry..but I think that routine is dumb. Why are you doing it?

Fart Barker
01-27-2002, 02:55 PM
Originally posted by heathj
and become a hunchback who is always leaning forward because his chest is bigger then his back? :) Sorry..but I think that routine is dumb. Why are you doing it?

Life is too short to waste my time on exercises I hate. My routine is not dumb, it is a stroke of pure genius.

Fart Barker
01-27-2002, 06:54 PM
:eek:

jock227
01-28-2002, 07:52 AM
nice bro.. looks good. are u overkilling on the sets though or are you trying to loose as well?

Tryska
01-28-2002, 07:55 AM
what did we tell you about keeping your pants on.....tuttut

Fart Barker
01-28-2002, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by jock227
nice bro.. looks good. are u overkilling on the sets though or are you trying to loose as well?

thanks for the compliment and I have no idea what I'm doing but my strength is still going up


Originally posted by Tryska
what did we tell you about keeping your pants on.....tuttut

I can't help myself.

This is what I looked like last year about a month after I started lifting....

Fart Barker
01-28-2002, 08:04 PM
115 x 10

165 x 10

215 x 8 :)

235 x 3 :)

235 x 2 :(

= 5695

Tryska
01-29-2002, 04:01 AM
i thought i had edited and put that you had made excellent progress in my post, but i guess not.

in any case...great job! your starting to get a v-taper, mr. barker.

big
01-29-2002, 05:26 AM
You should atleast train your back also! I knew a kid in school that only benched and curled (it was years before I started) Anyway he got some serious back problems after a while. He was 15, and his back didn't grow straight. I know you're a bit older but still...

Fart Barker
01-29-2002, 04:54 PM
Thanks, Tryska.

Big, I am able to effectively train every muscle in my body by benching & curling.

Fart Barker
01-29-2002, 04:58 PM
115 x 4

115 x 3

115 x 3

gonna ease up on the volume and crank up the intensity for awhile and see what happens :cool:

DaChickenShowYo
01-29-2002, 06:02 PM
LOL man you totally crack me up!

Fart Barker
01-30-2002, 05:28 PM
Originally posted by DaChickenShowYo
LOL man you totally crack me up!

I'll take that as a compliment. Thank ya. :)

Fart Barker
01-30-2002, 05:34 PM
115 x 10

115 x 10

165 x 5

215 x 1

285 x 0 :mad:

285 x 0 :mad:

215 x 9 :)

= 5275

Couldn't lock out my first attempt at 285. Barely got the second attempt off my chest. 215 x 9 was a personal record though.

Fart Barker
01-31-2002, 05:48 PM
115 x 5

cheated on the last rep
whew, what a workout

Tryska
01-31-2002, 05:53 PM
are ya smokin crack, mr. barker?

if you are it's okay. we can help you through this.

Fart Barker
01-31-2002, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by Tryska
are ya smokin crack, mr. barker?

if you are it's okay. we can help you through this.

No way! I never in my life smoked crack, although I have smoked some bud, dropped acid, and snorted crank in my younger days.

I'm just high on life :)

...and my guns are still pumped :hump:

Tryska
01-31-2002, 06:03 PM
perhaps it's leftover THC then. i know that's my problem most of the time.

ace gunz you got there man. that's a hellified pump.


:strong: :thumbup:

YatesNightBlade
02-01-2002, 02:17 AM
You kill me fart.

Pumped Guns = Ace

Fart Barker
02-01-2002, 05:14 PM
Originally posted by YatesNightBlade
Pumped Guns = Ace

That's a big 10-4!

Fart Barker
02-01-2002, 06:24 PM
01. 115 x 15

02. 115 x 15

03. 165 x 10

04. 165 x 6

05. 135 x 7

06. 135 x 8

07. 185 x 4

08. 205 x 2

09. 205 x 3

10. 185 x 2

11. 185 x 2

12. 135 x 5

13. 155 x 5

14. 155 x 3

15. 135 x 7

16. 135 x 8

17. 155 x 5

18. 175 x 3

19. 135 x 5

20. 115 x 5

Volume = 17,315

Time = 32 minutes

This workout put me over the 100,000 lb mark for the year :cool:

******************

2002 Bench Stats...

Average REPS - 6.7

Average LBS - 166

Most LBS Lifted - 275

Most LBS Attempted - 285

Total LBS - 102,435

Looks like I'm on track to bench a million pounds this year :hump:

Alex.V
02-01-2002, 06:32 PM
:scratch: :scratch: :scratch: :scratch: :scratch: :scratch:










:bow:

heathj
02-01-2002, 06:37 PM
:bang: :bang: :bang:

Blood&Iron
02-01-2002, 06:39 PM
I'm confused...

Is this a joke or no? If not, there seems to be a great number of knowledgable people here who could help you with a routine. If it is a joke, it's pure Swiftian genius.

Pup
02-01-2002, 06:39 PM
:bang:

lazyman79
02-01-2002, 06:44 PM
I thought the older you where the more wiser and smarter you are. No offence but your routine needs help.

Hot Shot
02-01-2002, 06:47 PM
I might start your routine next week.

Fart Barker
02-01-2002, 07:24 PM
This routine is NOT a joke.

I love to bench & curl. I love my routine. I am happy with my routine. I will bench 300 pounds. This is my mission in life. 25 pounds to go.

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some....
.....It takes, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Everybody's got a special kind of story
Everybody finds a way to shine,
It don't matter that you got not alot
So what,
They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.
And together we'll be fine....
Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

:fart:

captain piddles
02-01-2002, 07:50 PM
well I think the routine is a stroke of genius, benching is a great compound movement, and compound movements cause bigger GH releases, causing all over growth, and the curls, effect not only the bicep but the forearm and the delts to some degree, so he is involving meny different muscle groups with very few movements, also its good to focus, it cant hurt and he has a very distinct goal that he can and will reach, awsome

Fart Barker
02-01-2002, 07:53 PM
thanks cap :)

captain piddles
02-01-2002, 08:35 PM
here is an article on testosterone training, using compound movements to raise test levels, raised test levels will produce growth all over not just the exersized muscle

:D

heathj
02-02-2002, 12:58 AM
But over time his legs will dwarf his forearms.

Chris Rodgers
02-02-2002, 02:51 PM
What you talkin about Willis?? :scratch:

Fart Barker
02-02-2002, 03:17 PM
I might, just for the hell of it, do some squats today. I had considered not telling anyone but then that wouldn't be honest and I don't wanna be a closet-squatter. Don't tell anyone. There's also a pretty good chance I'll do some curls too.

I wasted some more money today. I bought some 1-AD & some 19 Nor Androstack II. I'm gonna dust off my my creatine and protein powder and start taking that too. The last time I took the creatine I think I was taking too much cuz I was all bloated up like a friggin blow-fish and felt like a sack of rancid turds. I've also got some Psycho Nordiol on the way.

Chris Rodgers
02-02-2002, 03:24 PM
You know what would be even better?

Benches
Squats
Rows


Do those instead. Please!!!! :idea:

heathj
02-02-2002, 03:34 PM
Deadlifts!!! :clap:

Tryska
02-02-2002, 03:56 PM
wow. you know what just dawned on me?

mr. barker i think you are the first recorded new convert TO curl jockeying ever, in the history of this board.



carry on.




:indian:

Orange357
02-02-2002, 05:19 PM
Originally posted by Fart Barker
01. 115 x 15

02. 115 x 15

03. 165 x 10

04. 165 x 6

05. 135 x 7

06. 135 x 8

07. 185 x 4

08. 205 x 2

09. 205 x 3

10. 185 x 2

11. 185 x 2

12. 135 x 5

13. 155 x 5

14. 155 x 3

15. 135 x 7

16. 135 x 8

17. 155 x 5

18. 175 x 3

19. 135 x 5

20. 115 x 5

Volume = 17,315

Time = 32 minutes



ONLY 40 SETS?!?!tuttut You could have gotten at least 40:rolleyes:

Fart Barker
02-02-2002, 05:48 PM
SciFit 19-Nor Androstack II (http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/sf/nor2.html)

Ergopharm 1-AD (http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/1ad.html)

Biotest Tribex 500 (http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/biot/tribex.html)

EAS Whey Protein (http://www13.netrition.com/eas_simply_protein_page.html)

EAS Creatine (http://www13.netrition.com/eas_simply_creatine_page.html)

Ergopharm Psycho Nordiol (http://www.beyondmuscle.com/ergopharm-psycho-nordiol.html)

I've got about half a bottle of the Tribex-500 left over from last year, about 3 lbs of the protein, and almost all of the creatine left. Who the hell knows if any of this crap will do any good. The Psycho Nordiol should be here next week. Maybe Delphi can give me a WBB discount on my gyno surgery ;)

Fart Barker
02-02-2002, 05:59 PM
Squat (belt + knee-wraps)

115 x 10 ...too easy

165 x 8

215 x 5

255 x 3 ...not easy

Curl

115 x 5 ...no cheating :)

135 x 0 ... :confused:

Bench days are still Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturdays are for whatever floats my boat... maybe some chins, deads, squats, and of course some curls. Sundays are for resting and Saturday nights are alright for fighting :evillaugh but I never leave the house at night.

Fart Barker
02-02-2002, 07:11 PM
Some of you might remember that I had a dog (Elvis) that died around Christmas. Since then, we've gotten two more... Priscilla & Cocoa

Tryska
02-02-2002, 07:16 PM
awww...they are cuties!!

i hope thes 2 stay with ya for a long long time. :)

Orange357
02-02-2002, 08:31 PM
:cool: puppies!

Chris Rodgers
02-02-2002, 09:59 PM
Haha, those two are ace!!


Now, back to the curl-jockey issue. ;)

Frankster
02-02-2002, 10:10 PM
Awww, cute

captain piddles
02-03-2002, 06:11 PM
ya got to love the little guys, they are awsome,here is a pic of my puppys, the black one is ruby,she is a mix of minature collie and black lab, and the black and white one is buddie, hes part pointer, we are not sure what else, they are good guys, hope all goes good with the new kids:)

Fart Barker
02-04-2002, 04:25 AM
Originally posted by captain piddles
ya got to love the little guys, they are awsome,here is a pic of my puppys, the black one is ruby,she is a mix of minature collie and black lab, and the black and white one is buddie, hes part pointer, we are not sure what else, they are good guys, hope all goes good with the new kids:)

dogs are awesome :cool:

Fart Barker
02-04-2002, 06:59 PM
1. 135 x 10

2. 135 x 10

3. 165 x 3

4. 215 x 2

5. 255 x 1

6. 285 x 0 :rolleyes:

7. 215 x 8

8. 215 x 6

Reasons why I may have missed 285...
Friday's Benchathon
I didn't think I could do it
Took about 3 seconds to lower the weight

Fart Barker
02-05-2002, 06:20 PM
deads

1. 115 x 10
2. 165 x 10
3. 215 x 9 ......my vagina started to hurt :cry:

chins

4. fartbarker x 10

curls

5. 115 x 3

captain piddles
02-05-2002, 07:29 PM
3. 215 x 9 ......my vagina started to hurt :cry:

well dont put the bar there:D

Delphi
02-06-2002, 12:06 AM
Originally posted by Fart Barker
4. fartbarker x 10



ROFL

Tryska
02-06-2002, 04:26 AM
*roflmao* mr barker, you be illin'.

PowerManDL
02-06-2002, 10:08 AM
Hey, I thought you went Curl Jockey. What's with these high-falutin' deadlifts?

Fart Barker
02-06-2002, 04:16 PM
Originally posted by PowerManDL
Hey, I thought you went Curl Jockey. What's with these high-falutin' deadlifts?

Ya know, this foo-foo exercise :evillaugh called the deadlift, I kinda enjoy ;)

heathj
02-06-2002, 04:17 PM
You bench as much as you deadlift? hahaha...funny shiat.

Fart Barker
02-06-2002, 05:45 PM
Originally posted by heathj
You bench as much as you deadlift? hahaha...funny shiat.

Actually, I can deadlift a little more ;) and if it so happens that I end up benching 500 someday and only pulling 400 then so be it.

Fart Barker
02-06-2002, 05:52 PM
Originally posted by Fart Barker
SciFit 19-Nor Androstack II (http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/sf/nor2.html)

Ergopharm 1-AD (http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/1ad.html)

Biotest Tribex 500 (http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/biot/tribex.html)

EAS Whey Protein (http://www13.netrition.com/eas_simply_protein_page.html)

EAS Creatine (http://www13.netrition.com/eas_simply_creatine_page.html)

Ergopharm Psycho Nordiol (http://www.beyondmuscle.com/ergopharm-psycho-nordiol.html)

I've got about half a bottle of the Tribex-500 left over from last year, about 3 lbs of the protein, and almost all of the creatine left. Who the hell knows if any of this crap will do any good. The Psycho Nordiol should be here next week. Maybe Delphi can give me a WBB discount on my gyno surgery ;)

There's no way in hell I can take all that crap. I tried Sunday and couldn't see myself doing it everyday. Since then I've only been taking the 1-AD (2 in the morning and 2 in the evening). The Pscho-Nordiol came today. I'll probably snort some of that before my bench sessions.

Fart Barker
02-06-2002, 05:58 PM
1. 115 x 10
2. 165 x 10
3. 215 x 8
4. 215 x 6
5. 215 x 5

I weighed myself when I got home from work today. I now weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life... 218.

Blood&Iron
02-06-2002, 06:05 PM
Originally posted by Fart Barker


Since then I've only been taking the 1-AD (2 in the morning and 2 in the evening).

Actually, this is probably less than optimal. Look for the posts by pa1ad in the discussion board at
www.elitefitness.com

He's the guy that owns Ergopharm and 'discovered' 1-AD.
Generally, you wanna be taking 600-900mg a day. They had to change the instructions on the bottle for legal reasons.

Fart Barker
02-06-2002, 06:26 PM
Originally posted by Blood&Iron
Generally, you wanna be taking 600-900mg a day. They had to change the instructions on the bottle for legal reasons.

Damn, that's a lot of pills. If I take 6 a day (600 mg), one bottle will last 10 days. I'm gonna go ahead and keep taking 4 a day this time, will last 15 days that way. I've already decided that I'm gonna do another cycle in a couple months or so. I might go with 6 per day then.

Didn't you say you tried this stuff before? Do you think it will be illegal anytime soon?

captain piddles
02-07-2002, 02:44 PM
you'll have to let me know how 1-AD works for ya, I tried some of the prohormones and didnt notice anything, I never did try 1-AD, if you give it the Fart stamp of approval I will get some and give it a shot

Blood&Iron
02-07-2002, 03:00 PM
Originally posted by Fart Barker


Damn, that's a lot of pills. If I take 6 a day (600 mg), one bottle will last 10 days. I'm gonna go ahead and keep taking 4 a day this time, will last 15 days that way. I've already decided that I'm gonna do another cycle in a couple months or so. I might go with 6 per day then.

Again, I think this will result in less than optimal results, but of course, it's your choice



Didn't you say you tried this stuff before? Do you think it will be illegal anytime soon?
Yes, I did. If your curious I made several lengthy posts at that detail my exact results and the conditions under which the occurred.

www.elitefitness.com

I use the same name there. Just do a search on my username and 1-AD as a keyword.

1-AD may be made illegal. Patrick Arnold has expressed concerns about the marketing of 1-Test as a dietary supplement(It the steroid to which 1-AD is converted by the body.) He thinks it's really going to cause the FDA to come down hard on the prohormone industry. This wouldn't surprise me.

Fart Barker
02-07-2002, 06:59 PM
deads
1. 115 x 10
2. 165 x 10
3. 215 x 11

chins
4. fat-ass x 10
5. fat-ass x 6

curls
6. 115 x 5 ....cheated on last rep

captain piddles
02-07-2002, 08:15 PM
215x11 on deads, thats cool I wish I could do them, everytime I try I get hurt so I skip them

Delphi
02-07-2002, 08:19 PM
*looks around this journal for the key to getting big arms*

Fart Barker
02-08-2002, 04:24 AM
oooh, I just noticed this really cool new reply feature

Fart Barker
02-08-2002, 04:37 AM
Originally posted by captain piddles
you'll have to let me know how 1-AD works for ya, I tried some of the prohormones and didnt notice anything, I never did try 1-AD, if you give it the Fart stamp of approval I will get some and give it a shot

I'll let you know in about a week ;)

Fart Barker
02-08-2002, 06:01 PM
3 warm-ups

1. 215 x 8
2. 165 x 7

I am weak :(

I've got a new routine in mind that I'm gonna go with starting next week. More later.....

Orange357
02-08-2002, 07:40 PM
:scratch: Why are you doing these "Squats" and "deadlifts"?;)

Fart Barker
02-09-2002, 05:18 AM
Originally posted by Orange357
:scratch: Why are you doing these "Squats" and "deadlifts"?;)

God told me that I'm not allowed to do anymore benching unless I do squats and deadlifts and he also told me he was sorry for not making my penis bigger :)

Orange357
02-09-2002, 08:50 AM
Originally posted by Fart Barker


God told me that I'm not allowed to do anymore benching unless I do squats and deadlifts and he also told me he was sorry for not making my penis bigger :)


lol..ok..whatever, cant fight with god.;)

Fart Barker
02-10-2002, 11:39 AM
I just had a major breakthrough. My barbell (7-foot standard) used to weigh 17.5 lbs. It now weighs 20 lbs as a result of wrapping it with a combination of duct tape and athletic tape. Now I can count the bar as 20 instead of 15. Me so happy even though one of my dogs just doodied on the living room carpet.

Fart Barker
02-10-2002, 11:51 AM
:cool:

Orange357
02-10-2002, 11:57 AM
2.5 pounds of duct tape! damn Mr.Barker you need another hobby

captain piddles
02-10-2002, 08:23 PM
makes for a cushy grip, I did the same thing to my dumbells

Fart Barker
02-11-2002, 04:39 AM
wanna get this in b4 I go to work

I got 300 x 1 this morning

three hundred mfn lbs

:D :D :D :D

gotta go to work now

Chris Rodgers
02-11-2002, 07:07 AM
It actually worked??? :scratch:



:strong: :bow:


*thinks of doing a deadlift only routine to get his dead up* ;)

Tryska
02-11-2002, 07:09 AM
hey!

you made your goal!

congratulations mr. barker. i guess when they say "to get a bigger bench, you gotta bench." they weren't lying. :thumbup:

Blood&Iron
02-11-2002, 08:10 AM
Originally posted by Fart Barker
wanna get this in b4 I go to work

I got 300 x 1 this morning

three hundred mfn lbs

:D :D :D :D

gotta go to work now
Congratulations.

What was your 1-rep max before all of this?

Fart Barker
02-11-2002, 05:07 PM
Thanks Latman, Tryska, and B&I. My 1-rep max before this was 275 and that was about a month ago. I've been trying to nail 285 ever since.

the workout.....

1. 120 x 5
2. 120 x 5
3. 120 x 5

4. 170 x 3
5. 170 x 3

6. 220 x 2
7. 220 x 2

8. 280 x 1 ... this was so easy that I actually had to count the plates 3 times before I would believe I just benched 280

9. 300 x 1 :hump:

Factors, in no particular order, contributing to the single greatest accomplishment of my entire life....

1. Changed workout time from evening to morning.
2. 9th day on 1-AD <----- probably the main factor
3. More warmup sets with fewer reps.
4. The 2.5 lbs of tape on my bar made for a better grip.
5. Last time I benched was 5 days ago.
6. I took 2 energy pills, XtremeLean from Walmart, before working out (been about 2 months since I did that).

Blood&Iron
02-11-2002, 05:14 PM
Originally posted by Fart Barker


Factors, in no particular order, contributing to the single greatest accomplishment of my entire life....

2. 9th day on 1-AD <----- probably the main factor

Patrick Arnold, and a number of others, have stated 1-AD is great for strength gains, so you may well be right. But your success is definitely multi-factorial.

Fart Barker
02-11-2002, 05:22 PM
Originally posted by Blood&Iron

Patrick Arnold, and a number of others, have stated 1-AD is great for strength gains, so you may well be right. But your success is definitely multi-factorial.

That stuff definitely works.

Orange357
02-11-2002, 08:06 PM
Congrats!

Adam
02-11-2002, 08:20 PM
Great job on the 300! Whats your next goal?

MonStar1023
02-11-2002, 08:23 PM
Fart Barker-
Excellent progress bro. Congrats.

:thumbup::thumbup:

Neil
02-11-2002, 08:28 PM
Good job, congratulations:D

captain piddles
02-11-2002, 09:06 PM
Dude.............you da man!!
awsome job buddy, awsome

Fart Barker
02-12-2002, 06:46 PM
Thanks to all for your kind words. You guys have definitely been part of this, kinda like a training partner. I had no idea that I coulda benched 300 so soon. I fully expected to spend the next several months trying.

As for my next goal... I wanna bench 400 and deadlift 400. I think I have a pretty good chance at pulling 400 before the end of the year as I haven't really done a whole lot of deadlifting so I think the gains might come fairly quick. We'll see. The most I've ever pulled is 300, which I did again today.

I had planned on lifting this morning but my ears failed to hear my alarm clock so I had to lift after work.

1. 120 x 8
2. 120 x 8

3. 170 x 6
4. 170 x 4

5. 220 x 2
6. 220 x 2

7. 300 x 3 ..... knee wraps, lifting straps, no belt

Time = 24 minutes

DaChickenShowYo
02-12-2002, 07:21 PM
:D You kick ass man, that's a punch on the stomach to deadlifts jockeys. Not really, but good job. Give us some progress pics.

mds_79
02-12-2002, 07:39 PM
Concracts Sir Fart

Chris Rodgers
02-12-2002, 07:42 PM
Good work Mr. Barker. I thought you were benching more than you were pulling.



BTW- Chickenfuker, stfu you lil pansy biatch. Thank you.

Fart Barker
02-12-2002, 07:50 PM
Thanks, I'm gonna post another pic this weekend when I finish the 1-AD :)