View Full Version : Wolfe's new diet :)

08-02-2006, 06:13 PM
Ok not really but I got this email from a buddy and it kinda made me laugh casue he know's I'm dieting :)

Since I have several Boston Terriers, I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (?).

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy was going to need help as he laughingly staggered to the door.

Tell me that is not some funny stuff :)

08-02-2006, 06:15 PM
Thats ****ing awesome.

Your my new personal hero.

08-02-2006, 06:17 PM
rofl you own

08-02-2006, 06:35 PM
Oh My God!


chris mason
08-02-2006, 07:17 PM
That is pretty good stuff Mike!

08-02-2006, 07:26 PM
Friggin awesome!

08-02-2006, 07:57 PM
Good stuff!

08-02-2006, 11:02 PM
I <3 you

08-02-2006, 11:15 PM
haha awesome

Clifford Gillmore
08-02-2006, 11:15 PM
Haha! I chuckle!

I have a habit of doing that kind of stuff with customers all the time.

On Subject of Relatives, - Inlaws

Risk; My mother in law is fantasic
Customer; Oh, thats refreshing

Risk; In fact I just got her a plane ticket for my birthday.
Customer; You bought her a present on your birthday?

Risk; I did indeed, there is only so much that woman can do. Its nice to a give a little too.
Customer; Thats a lovely attitude, what did you get her?

Risk; A one way plane ticket to Iraq.


08-03-2006, 07:17 AM
:bow: :nod: :clap: :eek: :evillaugh wolfy rules!

08-03-2006, 07:49 AM
Nice one Wolfy..
If the tall man was laughing out the door.. what was the reaction of the lady who asked the question?

I can image something like: "SMART AS_"

08-03-2006, 10:03 AM

What are you dieting down too? I want to see you at 9%, 320 lbs HAHA.

That would be a sick world.

08-03-2006, 11:18 AM
You should have just said "No, it's for me. Here's your sign"

08-03-2006, 12:04 PM
You should have just said "No, it's for me. Here's your sign"

If I hear another Blue Collar Comedy quote, I'm gonna go homicidal.

08-03-2006, 12:40 PM
Screw Bench-Pressing, you could be a professional bull****ter. That's some solid improv... keep up the good work!

08-03-2006, 02:39 PM
If I hear another Blue Collar Comedy quote, I'm gonna go homicidal.
That's funny right there. ;)

08-03-2006, 02:49 PM
If I hear another Blue Collar Comedy quote, I'm gonna go homicidal.

08-03-2006, 06:01 PM
That's awesome. Did you buddy say where he got the story?