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View Full Version : BG5150's alter-ego (133t 1ift3r), ersatz journal



BG5150
09-05-2006, 09:12 AM
First and foremost, this "journal" is my attempt at satire. It is inspired by Guido & Luigi, posts I've seen across different message boards and people in my own gym and stuff I just plain make up.

BG5150
09-05-2006, 09:17 AM
Whazzup! 133t 1ift3r here. About me:

I'm 19, a sophomore at Yakamka Tech, tri-majoring in Computer Science, Renaissance Art and Urban Planning. Right now, I'm 5'11", 145 lbs and I've been lifting twice a day, 6 days a week in my basement. Now that I am at college, I can really hit the weights. maybe 3 times a day, every day.

I want to get huge, but not too huge. I'm gonna be cutting on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and bulking the other four days. My supplements are gonna be: Muscle Milk and Myoplex MRP's 'cause I wanna get hyuuuge, and hydroxycut + ECA stack 'cause I wanna be ripped. I was thinkin' just doing biceps for a week or two to get the guns big. Then maybe bench for a week to rip up the chest and then back to the biceps. I was thinking 8 sets of 20, cuz I want to be toned.

I wanted to start a journal to keep me motivated and to share with you my vast knowledge of lifting (hence, my name: 133t 1ift3r).

Hockey66
09-05-2006, 09:39 AM
I'm looking forward to this. :D

BG5150
09-05-2006, 09:51 AM
I'm gonna hit the gym after Comp Sci 201 today. Can't wait.

i've read a ton about lifting. Especially on the BBS for the Renaissace Art department. There's like four or five guys on there who really know their stuff. here's what I am planning on doing today.

I know I'm supposed to squat and dead lift and bench and and do chinups. But they are too hard for me right now, so I'm gonna skip them. I think I can work all those muscles with machines and supplements. And I figured I can make up my own routine so I won't get too hyuuge. And remember, I wanna tone so I can be ripped.

I'm gonna start off easy, so hopefully, the 2, 5, 8 and 10# db's aren't being used when I get there.

According to the BBS, I need to do at least 15 reps to tone.

Today's workout:

DB curls 5 x 20 (gonna use the 2 pounders to start)
DB Preacher curls 5 x 20 (2#'s) (to get a good peak on the bi's)
EZ bar machine curls 5 x 20 (I think the lowest is 10#, but I'll tough it out)
Wide grip EZ bar machine curls 5 x 20 (to tone the inside of the biceps)
Bodyweight kickbacks (I really need to work on triceps) 5 x 20
Bodyweight tri extension 5 x 20
Tricep push down on machine if the weight goes to less than 10#
Isolation bicep curl 5 x 20

Hopefully that's enough. I'm cutting today, so I won't be eating much, but i will be taking my hydroxy cut. I already took an ECA stack my roomie made for me: Two ephedrine pills (200 mg each), 3 caffeine pills (100 mg @) and two aspirn. I'm wired! Can't wait to hit the iron!

Peace out for now...

TheGimp
09-05-2006, 09:55 AM
Then maybe bench for a week to rip up the chest and then back to the biceps.

I recommend a routine involving incline, decline and flat bench to ensure you hit upper, lower and middle chest.

BG5150
09-05-2006, 10:27 AM
I recommend a routine involving incline, decline and flat bench to ensure you hit upper, lower and middle chest.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not get complicated! I don't want to get too huge. Plus, my bench stinks so I'm not going to do them just yet.

And keep your routine suggestions to yourself, please. I think I know what I'm talking about. I learned a lot from one of the guys on the BBS. He says he can bench, like, 180 or something. So I'm gonna listen to him.

Nosaj
09-05-2006, 12:15 PM
Today's workout:

Bodyweight kickbacks (I really need to work on triceps) 5 x 20
Bodyweight tri extension 5 x 20

Truly inspiring. Should get a nice tone from these babies.

Unreal
09-05-2006, 12:19 PM
I suggest getting a wheelchair to roll around in. Walking is like working your legs out all day. They will get huge from all the leg work. In a wheel chair you can use your arms and give them a good pump by just rolling around.

Hockey66
09-05-2006, 12:44 PM
I suggest getting a wheelchair to roll around in. Walking is like working your legs out all day. They will get huge from all the leg work. In a wheel chair you can use your arms and give them a good pump by just rolling around.

But walking involves a lot of repetition, so won't it just tone his legs?

BG5150
09-05-2006, 12:56 PM
But walking involves a lot of repetition, so won't it just tone his legs?
I might do quarter (or maybe one-eighth) squats with just the bar for 40 reps, 5 sets to tone my legs.

Hockey66
09-05-2006, 01:40 PM
I might do quarter (or maybe one-eighth) squats with just the bar for 40 reps, 5 sets to tone my legs.

I think you're better off with the one-eighths, quarters are hard on the knees.

TwiloMike
09-05-2006, 01:41 PM
OMG a shiny new journal!!!

So yesterday I was at the water fountain at my gym talking to my friend about last weekend, the weekend before that, and planning my next weekend when I heard this HYUUUGE meathead, almost as big as Brad Pitt in Figh Club tell this other meathead that there were shorts on sale at Macy's and that there is going to be a new machine installed at the gym that almost lifts the bar for you! I suggest you ask at your gym for a machine like that, BG! Just imagine... hundreds of bench presses!!!

BG5150
09-05-2006, 08:57 PM
Well, I had my first workout in a while.

And man, my arms are PUMPED! I got such a pump, I did the same workout after I got out of the dining hall tonite.

I'm thinking about doing the same thing tomorrow, 'cause I know my guns will get ripped.

But I know that arms don't make the man (but they are 90%). So tomorrow I'm gonna do calves, too. Maybe some wrist curls.

I am cutting today, so all I had to eat was my Hydroxy cut and ECA stack and then 3 oz of steak and a protein shake. (My roomie gave me some of his) It was kinda gross, but I should pack on some LMM (lean muscle mass) with it.

I also read on the BBS that I can take nitrous oxide (NOS) and it will help with the pumps. So tomorrow I'm going to go to GNC and buy a whole bunch of stuff--my Dad said he'd give me his credit card and I could get anything I want. Yay me!

I think I'm gonna get some Myoplex and Muscle Milk for my bulking days and some gloves and a belt, etc so I can get the best out of my lifts.

kad
09-06-2006, 07:10 AM
OMG a shiny new journal!!!

So yesterday I was at the water fountain at my gym talking to my friend about last weekend, the weekend before that, and planning my next weekend when I heard this HYUUUGE meathead, almost as big as Brad Pitt in Figh Club tell this other meathead that there were shorts on sale at Macy's and that there is going to be a new machine installed at the gym that almost lifts the bar for you! I suggest you ask at your gym for a machine like that, BG! Just imagine... hundreds of bench presses!!!
hahahaha

Great stuff.

BG5150
09-07-2006, 01:48 PM
Well, after that hella workout on Tuesday, my arms were FRIED yesterday. i couldn't even type my journal entry. :( I guess the soreness proves I got a good workout. Yeah, Buddy! Light weight! My bud sent me a hot pic of Ashlee Simpson, and my arms were so sore I couldn’t…well, um…how to put this? I couldn’t get as much fun out of the pic as I should have. :(

My arms are really sore today, which PROVES it was a good workout. I think my arms grew a little bit. I can’t wait to hit them again tomorrow!

Tonight, I’m going to GNC with my Dad’s credit card to buy some stuff. I need supplements (‘cause the guy on the BBS says he uses them) and then I’m going to Sports Authority to get some gear. No not ‘roids—I don’t wanna be hyuuuge (did I mention that?), but like, gloves and stuff.

I’ll let y’all know what I pick up when I post tomorrow.

“Ain’t nuthin’ but a peanut”

BG5150
09-11-2006, 09:31 AM
Well, sorry for not posting in a while. My arms were hella sore last week. Plus we had a cool AD&D party this weekend. Try lifting the day after drinking 3 wine coolers and 1 shot of peppermint schaaps and pummeling trolls and dragons and orcs with your 18th level Paladin all weekend! I was WAYSTED, and consequently hung over all Sunday.

I did manage to get to GNC for some supps. I got:

Protein powder
Muscle Milk
Glutamine
NO-Xplode
L-arginine
Fish oil
Multi vitamin
ZMA
Tribulus
Caffeine pills
Hydroxy Cut


I will be taking most or all of these two or three times a day.

I’ll probably get more, but I didn’t want to hit my Dad’s c.c. too bad. Especially since I was gonna head over to Sport Authority to get some gear.

f=ma
09-11-2006, 09:39 AM
I know I'm supposed to squat and dead lift and bench and and do chinups. But they are too hard for me right now, so I'm gonna skip them. I think I can work all those muscles with machines and supplements. And I figured I can make up my own routine so I won't get too hyuuge. And remember, I wanna tone so I can be ripped.

is this a joke? this is the most bushleague attitude ive ever read on this forum. i'm not trying to be a dick, i just hope you come to realize how poorly thought out your rationale is. what is this too hard ****? are you working out for yourself or for a casual activity? its one thing not to be healed or physically able to do something.. but too hard??

dont want to get huge? i can guarantee you wont unless you have fortitude and dedication that extends well beyond just doing exercises... hopefully this might motivate you to do it right

BG5150
09-11-2006, 09:40 AM
So I went to Sports Authority yesterday to get some lifting gear. This is what I got:

· Wicked looking black lifting gloves
· Cool-looking Nike lifting belt
· Dip belt (for when I can do dips; too weak right now)
· Ankle weights (to get a leg workout as I walk around the gym)
· Wrist wraps
· Wrist straps so I can grip the DBs for curls
· Chalk (I saw a guys lifting sick weight with some)
· Knee wraps (don’t wanna screw up my knees on those leg extensions!)
· A cool neon green bag to hold all the stuff
· Some Everlast clothes for the gym—shirts, shorts, sweats

I am thinking about getting a bench shirt but I’m not sure which one to get. I’m going to ask the girl at the front desk at my gym (she’s so hot) what kind I should buy.

I can’t wait (or weight, ha ha) to hit the gym after our AD&D recap meeting today! (We get together at lunch and talk about our Dungeons & Dragons campaign every Monday.)

Since I have weight belt and gloves now, I’m gonna try bench pressing if I get a spotter.

TheGimp
09-11-2006, 09:40 AM
is this a joke? this is the most bushleague attitude ive ever read on this forum. i'm not trying to be a dick, i just hope you come to realize how poorly thought out your rationale is. what is this too hard ****? are you working out for yourself or for a casual activity? its one thing not to be healed or physically able to do something.. but too hard??

dont want to get huge? i can guarantee you wont unless you have fortitude and dedication that extends well beyond just doing exercises... hopefully this might motivate you to do it right

lol

f=ma
09-11-2006, 10:08 AM
satire? last time i checked this forum is for workout journals, not fictional lifting and whatever else this garbage is. IMO, take your satire to your blog or somewhere else like bodybuilding.com

Sidior
09-11-2006, 11:45 AM
satire? last time i checked this forum is for workout journals, not fictional lifting and whatever else this garbage is. IMO, take your satire to your blog or somewhere else like bodybuilding.com

read the first post... and relax man, don't visit if you can't stand it