I think I may have said this before, but I'll say it again: you think too much. What happened sucks, I get it, but there's no point worrying about it at this point. I don't mean this in a disneyland-fate kind of way, but if it happens, it happens.
You're still young. You've got lots of time to meet quality respectable girls.
This thread has been the story of my life.
If your like I am and treat women better then the vast majority of men (just with respect to you don't pretend to be interested just for sex... if i want that I don't hint at anything more then that), then don't worry about it. Tell her to reflect on the fact that after the next guy does this exact same crap to her that she could of had a chance with a genuine man and walk completely out of her life.
A girl JUST did this almost same thing to me a little while ago. We start talking, she shows extreme interest and I'm interested in her then she starts talking about us spending time together and going out. Everythings great, we're hanging out on campus and talking all the time. Then all of a sudden she decides that she can't help the fact she still loves her ex, even after he's cheated on her (even on the same night he gave her a promise ring), texted her telling her of all the girls hes trying to screw and everything else.
She tells me she can't go out with me and that she has to give him another chance, even has the gonads to say that she still wants to be friends with me because I'm a great guy.
I tell her to jump off a cliff and that he'd do the same crap to her again. Guess what? He did the same **** to her again.
Maybe she'll be smarter the next time a halfways decent guy comes along, if shes that lucky.
Sounds like your the nice guy whos somewhat of her "Plan B." The reality is most hot girls talk to atleast a dozen guys on a daily basis whether it's on the phone, in text, in person ect. Alot of women start to like multiple guys, sometimes just because ones there and ones a distance away. They usually save the nice guy for 2nd, thinking he'll always be there incase the other one fails.
Id say tell her your here right now, take it or leave it.
Cool story Hansel.
Originally Posted by WBBIRL
From my experience girls in their early 20s don't know what they want.
Furthermore, I don't think men and women can spend their entire lives with just one partner.
The divorce rate is what, 50% or 30%? And what about the rest of the married couples who know their spouse cheated or are in an unhappy marriage?
The way I see it, is if you're:
- somewhat decent looking
- have some personality
- make $50k
you should be able to get any woman you want.
The thing with woman that sill confuses me at times is:
- if you go out on a date and you didn't like the girl (meaning you show no interest at all) they think that you like them and bug you like hell
- if you show interest in a girl they will say you're needy (actually, this only happened to me once and I never got over it. Bitch broke my heart!):indian:
I see people in their 20s getting married, having kids and I'm thinking what the hell are they doing???
Does anyone else feel like if you get married and have kids your life is pretty much over?
I don't think I will ever want kids, let alone get married.
She just wants you to chase her, that's all. She needs a little more certainty that you're serious about things, even when you're going to be a long ways away. You make way too many assumptions about how good she thinks you are. Every relationship starts with each person thinking the other is the best thing that's ever happened to him/her. You need to find a way to assure her that you are different from the rest and that is something only time can do.
If you really like her, put your ego aside, accept that it may not work out, and really go for it. You sound like a chump saying how you "may relapse back into a manslut" acting like its some kind of addiction. Hahaha give me a break man. You sound like you're a smart guy, so I don't know why you talk like that, no offense.
Your posts seem like you're trying to convince yourself of something, but that's just me. You need to understand that every girl and situation is different, and its dumb to apply some kind of societal expectation of "this must happen to move from point A to point B." Make your own rules, don't think too much, and go from there. Good luck.
^ Faster, want to elaborate?
This **** wouldn't be half as bad if it were easier to find cool girls. But it's not that easy. I'm not expecting to wait for **** but in the end I have no control over who I have feelings for and who I do not. I've dated girls I didn't have feelings for and felt like gouging out my eyeballs. I thought I had already made myself stand out from other guys apparently I had not. If a girl can not pick up on my good qualities, when I know other girls can, maybe that's just one more flaw to tag on to her.
Originally Posted by d'Anconia
And extremely modest to boot as well, it would seem...
Dude, she's playing you. If she really wanted a relationship with you, those past relationships would not be standing in the way.
I'd move on, yes easier said than done, but why waste time on someone who shows precious few GENIUNE signs of interest? Sounds like she is giving you just enough (those kisses on your bed) to keep you interested and hanging around in case her plan A (getting together with a certain guy she wants to be with) doesn't work out ).
Hey there's a difference between being the insecure type of cocky and just plain having confidence in your self-worth.
To be honest I care a lot less now than I did 24 hours ago. I thought all of my other options had fallen through but tonight a nice girl I used to pursue texted me and we ended up hanging out at the local bar. Still a tricky situation considering how innocent she is while "shady" (not really shady, I've just experimented with a few drugs and am adventurous, I never disrespect myself or others) I am. She was designated driver but I still talked to her for quite a while and must say she is looking better than ever. She even has perfect teeth which to me, a dentist's son, carries a lot of weight with it.
Thank god for diversification. I ain't waiting for jack ****.
I can't believe I'm the only one who noticed this, bahaha. Unreal man.
Originally Posted by Reko
I think you need to get beyond tagging people with flaws. I don't think that's a very attractive quality in anyone.
bro, all this fuss over one girl ?!
there are som any chicks out there, especially in college.
We're everywhere :evillaugh:
Originally Posted by Hockey66
I think if she's going to take the route she did, then you need to tell her you have real feelings for her and if she's going to take her time, then you're going to cut off all contact because your emotions won't allow you to only be a friend. She may not like it and give you some crap about it, but you don't like the fact that she's been dicking you around for however long, either, and wasted time on a douche bag when she could have been reaping the benefits of Mr. Wonderful.
Then, do it. Don't text, take her off your facebook, etc. NO contact.
Then, see what happens. She'll either freak out and be totally yours in a short time, or she won't call and you'll know she wasn't serious and you were being played by a zen master. Make no mistake about it..we may know a few things about how to figure a woman out, but at some point, some woman will get the best of the most cunning dude. No matter how strong a guy thinks he is, women still own the cooch and have ALL the power to break him down. They smell good, taste good, feel good, and have cute voices. We lose, every time.
I'm telling you, dude. I almost went down this road. I mentioned it before in my other post. This girl was really, really sweet, beautiful, had an ass that could stop a train, and was absolutely miserable with her live-in boyfriend of two years. We had great conversation by AIM and phone. She would talk to me for hours pretty much every day while he played video games in the next room, and even came down to visit once. But I realized real quick she was using me to make up for what her relationship was lacking. So, I stopped talking to her and didn't hear from her again, as I knew would happen.
Give it a shot. Either way, YOU WIN.
bro all this fuss over one chick? come on man boot that chick aside if it aint working out
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I do a lot of socializing on Facebook. Nothing better than a girl who you like or who likes you checking out your profile to see your wall filled up with wall posts from hot chicks. Thank you Facebook.