Hello ; i am new to the forum ; are there any nutritional psychologists on the forum???? or people who have maybe been through the same problems as i go through at the moment????
I apologise for making this such a long first post ; but it is important ; and i would like to hear if anyone on here has been through similar.
I dont class myself as a 'competitive bodybuilder', but i do train with intensity, committment, determination and consistency, to improve my physique.
The main problem with food i have is -
I never have a cheat meal - i tell myself every weekend that i have worked hard all week - trained really well all week - and i should enjoy myself - even if it is just eating more clean calories - but just not weighing every piece of food i eat and eating clean - i even went out to buy some part baked bread today - to have some chicken baguettes - hardly unhealthy - yet i couldnt bring myself to eat them for whatever reason - annoying - as i think it must be hindering the ability to add mass (by limiting calorie intake to grow, but also possibly through stress and increased cortisol secretion).
I avoid all social events - so i can eat clean - i weigh all my food - i havent had a cheat meal in about 16 months - my girlfriend who is very supportive - never says anything - but i havent taken her out for meal or anything in nearly 2 years - no Chinese - no ice cream on a weekend - no relaxing - just weighing my food - and being almost robotic.
As you can see, i have been with this mindset for a while, and it has started to take over my life. I train with weights because i love it - but it is taking over my life - eating clean and counting every calorie - i really weant to enjoy some of the foods i ate before i changed lifestyle to lifting weights and training hard - but i cant seem to.
I have had anxiety and OCD, and i do still have that, which makes things more difficult. I have tried to see a specialist. I was on the waiting list to see a CBT but the waiting list is that long with the NHS (here in England) that i have never had an appointment. Had the first appointment with the psychiatrist, who then referred me to the CBT specialist, but like i say, never had an appointment.
Whilst i dont want to be a fat person - i have no aspirations to be a COMPETITIVE bodybuilder - and i dont really care too much if i can see my abs - so what is holding me back with my psychological problem with food?
Has anyone had similar problems and overcome them???? if so please provide some words of encouragement or advice!!!! it would be very much appreciated.
I can only mildly relate. When I diet I get tunnel vision and my social life is completely nonexistent for the duration. It's extremely hard for me to accept an invitation if I'm progressing well. However I'm somewhat on the other end of the spectrum from you and I do have time that I will fall off my horse, and usually hard. It's not a healthy pattern that I can get into either.
That's kind of sad you haven't gone out with your girl in a year and a half. I'm not sure what advice I'm worthy of giving here but I would say make an effort to have a normal meal every once in a while. Schedule a date night and once a month and go to eat. Having sanity and normalcy in your diet in moderation is much healthier overall than having a textbook nutritionally healthy diet.
Let us know how you're doing. Maybe start a journal and post in the community some more, I'll be certain to follow along if you decide to.
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Thank you ; Behemoth ; for your reply.
Can i just say ; you look in amazing condition in the picture.
Yeh i know it is sad that i havent taken my girlfriend out for a meal in such a long time ; it is really sad ; and like you say ; having sanity should be part of the lifestyle ; i dont compete ; so it shouldnt be a set of guidelines which say i can never enjoy some foods which i crave ; from time to time.
Why cant you still go out and just eat stuff that fits your macros?
I know if I am going to go out, I wont eat much of anything until I go out so I can fit the calories for the day. If you get your macros, you get your macros.
I have one cheat meal a week where I eat maintenance. I never really wanna eat alot but I know it helps my metabolism in the long run and I am only hurting my self by not eating alot once a week. I just coincide that day with whenever I wanna go out.
Food for thought lol.
Go out for a meal, and go check the scales a week later and see that your weight hasn't changed. Might be good for you to see that straying from your diet on occasion won't hinder progress.
Wanna post a pic? I wouldn't mind seeing what multiple years of perfect dieting looks like
Just thought i would update this ;
Had a few social events at the weekend ; still couldnt enjoy one treat meal ; took all my meals with me so that i stayed on my clean eating.
Cant actually remember the last time i had a cookie ; or a burger ; or a slice of pizza ; etc ; i am sure people must think i am unsociable too ; i just cant seem to let go.
I know that 1 weekend of higher calories ; out of 52 weeks per year ; would make little difference ; so why cant i enjoy foods ; it really is getting me down and makes me sad and upset.
I dont really want to post a picture ; as i know that the length of time i have been training ; and how dedicated and specific i have been over the years ; i should be much bigger!?!
GHRP-6, you will be eating everything in front of you.
What is GHRP - 6?!?
I would look for professional help (psychologist). This isn't healthy for you. We all struggle with this mindset, in the sense that everyone thinks they'll lose all their gains, but most people can just shut off their chatterbox and realize a "bad" meal here and there won't change a thing, and might be beneficial. You seem to let yourself get taken over by your internal dialogue instead of your logic. Why is that? Just remember that tons of people cut weight and gain weight while still enjoying beers, cookies, ice cream. Learn the science behind it and you'll see why your obsession with "clean" food (a concept that's way too overstated) is just that, an obsession and not at all an important reality or part of your goals, if you have any.
Need to relax a bit bud.
Like Behemoth said, the fact that you haven't eaten out with your girlfriend in over a year is downright depressing. Especially if you're not looking to be a competitive bodybuilder.
Have you looked into the IIFYM protocol at all? I dieted down to about 9% or so while eating ice cream, hot tamales, and other bullshit on a semi-regular basis. Clean eating, outside of health concerns, is IMO a myth and leads to overindulging. Best to give in to cravings and fit them into your macros.
I'm in college right now, but I manage to track my intake nearly every day through the use of a scale and, when I eat out, nutrition charts available online from the restaurants. It's extremely manageable and I haven't noticed any fat gain from eating out/'dirty' some of the time. Only reason I don't eat like crap but within my macros more is that I just don't feel as good if my diet is comprised of carbs from ice cream and Mike n Ike's.
should have a look at this:
^^Martin's stated in the past that he's gotten ripped off of "cookies and ice cream" before.
If I can find the IIFYM thread on bb.com I'll post it.
Last edited by chevelle2291; 08-02-2011 at 01:23 PM.
Although I have not read it, I'm pretty sure it would be a good book for you: http://www.amazon.com/Savor-Mindful-.../dp/0061697699
Most Americans have a sh**ty attitude towards food in general. Learn to love food again - it will probably help your training goals as well.
A child does not learn to squat from the top down. In other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and make the conscious decision to stand. Squatting precedes standing in the developmental sequence. This is the way a child's brain learns to use the body as the child develops movement patterns. Therefore, a child is probably crawling, rocks back into a squatting position with the back completely relaxed and the hips completely flexed, and stands when he has enough hip strength. This approach makes a lot of sense and can be applied to relearning the deep squat movement if it is lost. -Gray Cook
Lifting Clips: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=johnnymnemonic2
Do you know if the book is applicable to bodybuilding?!?
I know the increased food would help with strength and muscle gains ; not sure why i cant get over that!?! The feeling i get from getting strong ; and getting bigger is amazing ; so not sure why i cant allow myself more food!?!
Last edited by Zarkava; 08-03-2011 at 10:40 AM.
^that's basically the how-to on fitting a bbing lifestyle into a normal life and not being a total hermit.
Last edited by chevelle2291; 08-03-2011 at 11:18 AM.
Dude if you havent had a cheat meal in 16 months you better be at least 180 lbs at like 6% body fat.
Anyways forget looking for "nutrition" therapists, just go find a regular therapist. Seems like there's some non food related issues that need to be addressed.
Zarkava - look up how many calories are in a McDonalds Big Mac, then one day eat that many calories less then normal and go eat a big mac. That way you aren't really breaking your diet as you're not going over your calorie limit, but eating the big mac may help you overcome your fear a bit. If you do this more and more often it might loosen you up a bit and you could go out for a meal.
And if you are wanting to gain weight & build muscle, then eating more food should be part of your diet - so why can't you eat out etc considering this will help you achieve your goals?
I hate to sound like Dr. Phil here, but if your girlfriend is unhappy, shouldn't that be a sign that something needs to change? For the sake of your own mental health, eat a damn hamburger (5 alarm from Red Robin)!
704 Calories is what you'd have to give up in one day.
Granted that is just one burger as opposed to a meal you could be eating. I agree that you need to invest time to go out and have a meal out of the regular diet, but I feel that a big mac isn't where you want to do that.
I cook for my GF. She loves huge slabs of chicken and steak and all we need to go with it is veg. We don't go out as much but when we do it's usually sushi.
PS: I was a nutritional therapist for a few years. I helped people use nutrition to fix other health issues they had. A nutritional therapist is not trained in psychology so I'm not sure they would help. Not any more than anyone one here anyway.
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Either way, doesn't have to be a big mac it was just an example
The figures from my link are with cheese. They could be wrong, but for all I know McD's could be altering the shit out of those numbers for marketing appeal.
I'm in the middle of a cut, but didn't want to be the odd man out when we went for ice cream cone.
So I got the large one, with a cylinder of oreo pieces in the middle, topped in rice crispy pieces, dunk in chocolate. 800 calories. Loved it, and just took it out of my calories for the day.
my n00b journal
Scott Abel talks alot about this on his site. You should consider getting some help. It is a psychological disorder at this point.