Why can't parent's understand

[Big Show]

This morning I just got a letter from my mom(2 pages long)slipped under my door.She talking about how it's 09/01/2002 and I'm still unemployed(like I never noticed).And that it's been a over a year since I graduated from college.She's giving me the classic line of taking anything and everything,& then about why I'm not going for my full drivers license.

Remember my thread about childhood experiences that I posted,this is a rehash of one of those experiences from my teen years.And everyone always wonders why I sometimes have a problem thinking positively about myself.Well it's hard to think positively about myself when all I get are the negative of my life thrown in my face.And I swear this has been going on since I was a junior high student.Everyone complaining about me,telling me I'm immature,telling me I'm a loser and questioning my decision making abilities.And I'm 24 years old right now and let me tell you that it doesn't feel good to be treated like a pet project.IMHO life is generally stressful enough living your life without having people get in your face and complaining about your life too.It's like the saying goes "Never judge untill you walk a mile in another man's shoes" In other words don't complain about my life untill you live it.My friend realizes that I'm going through a stressful time right now with all the problems I'm going through right now & does not compound the stress by constantly voicing his worries to me.Which I'm thankful for.

Again IMO I feel that my mom should seriously be quiet because I'm not an inept kid,I'm a fairly competant adult who is relatively intelligent.And if she has worries about me,unless they are life threatning,or directly affect the family as a whole then she should leave me alone.Because I have enough worries as it is

Thank you for listening

[Spawn_X]

get a job and move out.

now stop complaining - be happy you have parents...

[Reinier]

I do hate petting.
good luck

[Reinier]

spawn doe have a point there too

[JohnCollins]

Big Show,

I haven't read the earlier thread you mention, but I'd like to gently suggest you see a counselor. You sound like you're suffering from clinical depression. I'm no psychologist, but if you are feeling stuck where you are right now, not feeling very worthwhile and finding it impossible to get a start on anything, that sounds like depression.

You're not nuts, and it is my understanding that most people suffer from depression once or twice in their lifetime but most get through it fairly quickly and move on. For example, I was depressed after an engagement broke up some twenty years ago. For a couple months I couldn't get out of bed...lost my job, made my friends nuts. Then I got out of it. Time got me over it and I've been fine since.

You are not nuts, you are not experiencing anything most of have not or will not experience at some point, but if you've been there for a year, you need some professional help. You are very normal, but you need to be brought out of this funk.

Frankly, your mother is right. You need to stop closing yourself up and get help, there is no shame in that. But you should be getting a job and carrying your weight. I'm not trying to be unfeeling here, I'm trying to be as gentle as I can be, but you are not in a good place right now and someone has to make you uncomfortable enough to go get help. You need to be mature enough to get help, and then you have to force yourself out of your rut and get moving.

It is possible you might need chemical help. That's not so bad either. It's not shameful to have some chemical imbalance which requires some medication to straighten out. Again, you're probably not nuts, I have several friends who are medicated and lead successful, productive, happy lives. Without the meds, they're stuck like you seem to be.

Go get help, Big Show. Do it now. Anyone here wanting to reinforce this message, please do so gently. Firmly, without sugar coating it, but gently, OK?

Good luck!

JC

[MWB]

I can see your moms point. Why don't you just get an average job to get some money in the bank while you look for a job related to what you graduated for? I know places like WALMART suck but they are always hiring and you might feel better about yourself bringing home a paycheck.

Does you former school have a career services office? If so have you been in contact with them, getting a resume together and what not? Most schools have a bunch of companies that they are in contact with. This is how I got my internship at a production company. I basically lived in the career services office until I landed the position.

[Spawn_X]

i'm with stupid (MWB)...

i didn't tell you to stop bitching because it a lie, but because it happens to everyone.

my parents petted me more than any of you - that's why i'm VERY distant from them right now because i realised how wrong they've raised me..

parents hsouldn't pet their son - that's what daughters are for..

just get a job and move out - problem solved. no more of their bullshit, no more staying home..

i've been working in the IT industry since i was 16 - maybe its time you did too ?

[Gyno Rhino]

What kind of job did you get at 16 (and how old are you now?) with virtually no education???

And Big, ye need to do what ye feel ye need to do. I don't know enough about the situation to make any judgement calls.

[Big Show]

Originally posted by MWB
I can see your moms point. Why don't you just get an average job to get some money in the bank while you look for a job related to what you graduated for? I know places like WALMART suck but they are always hiring and you might feel better about yourself bringing home a paycheck.

Does you former school have a career services office? If so have you been in contact with them, getting a resume together and what not? Most schools have a bunch of companies that they are in contact with. This is how I got my internship at a production company. I basically lived in the career services office until I landed the position.

First off I can't get a position at Wal-Mart because according to them I don't have enough experience to work at Wal-Mart.In other words I don't have enough experience for an "average job"

Second thing,yes I'm using my school's career services but that doesn't mean that I'll get something lickety split.

The problem with people is that some of them think that finding a job is a simple matter of going to McDonalds or WalMart.But it isn't,at times there's a lot of toil and trouble

Originally posted by Gyno Rhino
And Big, ye need to do what ye feel ye need to do. I don't know enough about the situation to make any judgement calls.

And thanks GR too bad not everyone can realize that.I am doing everything in my power to improve my self.It's just that it's not going through quick enough for some people

[Spawn_X]

Originally posted by Gyno Rhino
What kind of job did you get at 16 (and how old are you now?) with virtually no education???

And Big, ye need to do what ye feel ye need to do. I don't know enough about the situation to make any judgement calls.

Computer technician (no bullshit).

no education, eh? i got my A+ at 15, been fixing computers (yes FIXING, not playing on.. was never much into gaming) since 12...

i wasn't old enough to work for them so they paid me 8/hour under the table (cold tax-free cash )

i'm 19 now and almost have my mcse (crosses fingers)

Bigshow..

you just came out of college and have no job experience for an average job? how come you didn't work part time while in college? what did you major in? what degrees/certs do you have?

seems like you're getting a VERY late start in REAL life bud.

[MonStar]

My parents are TOTAL f*cking a*sholes too man dont worry about it. I am 18 almost 19 and they wont cosign me for a car. My brother is 16 and they went straight out and bought him a 2001 car. They say "he does the right thing" ... he does NOTHING different than me. What a crock of f*cking sh*t.

All I want is a cosign so I can make the payments and theyre just such d*cks. He worked at the grocery store when he was 16 JUST like I did. He does nothing different. Some f*cked up sh*t goes on with my f*cked up family. Just such bullsh*t.

[Gyno Rhino]

No education. You don't have an education at age 16 unless you're Doogie Howser.

But you sound like you're working hard and doing yourself right, so what works for you works for you.

Quit raggin' on Big, what works for you may not work for him. You said it yourself that you're 19, so I doubt you know what it's like to be in his situation.

[Spawn_X]

he didn't come looking for advice, which i would love to give.

he stated complaining.. i dont like that read EdgarMex's quote.

Monstar - maybe they don't trust you? By cosigning the car they'll take the heat if you fukc up... its not really one of their parental duties..

granted its an unwritten rool but some parents can be jerks like that..

my advice? do everything on your own.

don't lease or finance a car - you're only 18. save up and buy a used one..

baby steps my friend, baby steps...

gyno, as far as me being in his sutation..

that is the reason i'm not starting college yet for my automotive engineering major. i'm getting a backup career in IT first (after my MCSE i'll start college).. that way once i start college i can make decent/good money part time to help me pay 25 grand/year for the damn institute.. then once i come out it'll be easy to get a job and i won't struggle with cash from my parents..

i lost about 2 years (from 18 to 20) while getting computer experience/MCSE (mcse track cost me 3.5 grand i had to prepay in advance...), but hopefully it'll all be worth it.

as for my "edumucation" - i dropped out at 17 and took my GED 2 months ago.

the high school system in this country is VERY fukced up - 2 years of complete USELESS nonsense.. the other 2 years, yeah i'd say they help..

[Reinier]

"No education. You don't have an education at age 16 unless you're Doogie Howser."

theres a kid in my class who is 13... skipped 3 years and hell be 15 when he graduates HS and goes to uni and hell be like half way through his study at 16 prolly lol

[Nights]

Ever think about talking to your mom about this? I understand the need to get this out (your post to us), but maybe it would do a little bit more if you talked to the actual cause of the problem. Maybe she don't even realize what the hell is going on.

Second, try dropping over resumes at every crappy little place around. Restaurants to retail to every corner store. And then drop in again and ask them if they've got a chance to look over it, if there's any spots opening up. Be persistant. Sooner or later, one will give you a job. From there, get some money, and use the motivation of hating your shitty temp job to go look for a new one.

And JohnCollins might be right. If your constantly down like this, you might want to consider seeing a doctor. I know a few people that have that chemical imbalance thing going on, and without treatment, they can't control it. It ain't really there fault at all. Or maybe you just need motivation in your life. I don't know. Figure it out.

Best of luck to you.

[Spawn_X]

Originally posted by Reinier
"No education. You don't have an education at age 16 unless you're Doogie Howser."

theres a kid in my class who is 13... skipped 3 years and hell be 15 when he graduates HS and goes to uni and hell be like half way through his study at 16 prolly lol

first of all, high school isn't **** but a waste of time.

second of all, his common sense is still at a level of a 13 year old

third of all, those developing this early isn't natural and causes problems later on - at least that's what i read somewhere.

[Big Show]

Originally posted by Nights
Ever think about talking to your mom about this? I understand the need to get this out (your post to us), but maybe it would do a little bit more if you talked to the actual cause of the problem. Maybe she don't even realize what the hell is going on.

Second, try dropping over resumes at every crappy little place around. Restaurants to retail to every corner store. And then drop in again and ask them if they've got a chance to look over it, if there's any spots opening up. Be persistant. Sooner or later, one will give you a job. From there, get some money, and use the motivation of hating your shitty temp job to go look for a new one.

Best of luck to you.

For your first point,I try talking to my mom but she thinks that she's right and I'm wrong.So in other words she won't listen since "I'm just a kid"

Second I've tried restaurants and retail stores,with my Management degree I tried getting trainee positions but unfortunately I'm under qualified for even a sales associate position or even a dishwasher or host of a restaurant.Welcome to the Catch 22 "No job no experience,no experience no job"

It makes things extremly difficult

[Reinier]

how can you be underqualified for a dishwasher- dude if you get a crappy minimum wage job like that they dont even ask questions- at least not here

[LAM]

Big Show have you thought about the military ?

I joined the Navy when I graduated from college and it was probably the BEST decision I ever made in my life...

[Spawn_X]

Originally posted by LAM
Big Show have you thought about the military ?

I joined the Navy when I graduated from college and it was probably the BEST decision I ever made in my life...

yup.. all the sex you could want

J/K

i'm in a better situation that you big show and i STILL considered the army... i still am..

[Budiak]

I say join either the ARMY, Air Force, or the Navy. You'd be surprised what you'll learn other than how to kill people. The technical, communication, and operational skills you'll gain from the army will prove to be invaluable to you. If you specialize in army transport you could maybe get a job as a truck driver or Garbage truck driver (they work 6 hours a day, 5 days a week and make over 60k a year!).

I'd give it a very long think session, homes.


And dont worry about war. If you're in the Army, you are either in a tank or manning artillery(either way you go and play cleanup after the Marines anyhow). Navy will provide support from the water(duh) and unless you're a pilot or a SEAL you wont see the enemy any time soon. And if you're of age, you dont need parental consent!

[Orange357]

Hey, I got my job by makinf up a company, its easy and fun! **** YOU CORPORATE AMERICA!!! HAHA! I'm in the system now......

[Spawn_X]

im sorry but i just have to...

a college grad not knowing the difference between parents and parent's?

"Why can't parent's understand " <-- thread subject.

if u were my son id send u back to school u unedumucated bastard.

jk

[Big Show]

Originally posted by Spawn_X
im sorry but i just have to...

a college grad not knowing the difference between parents and parent's?

"Why can't parent's understand " <-- thread subject.

if u were my son id send u back to school u unedumucated bastard.

jk

hehheh I fixed the mistake Spawn_X

[Spawn_X]

i suggest you get some reading glasses for your english class too...

Why can't parent's understand Big Show 23 125 09-01-2002 10:50 PM