BIG CAL'S everything journal.

[MWB]

Cal, I don't mean to sound harsh but you need to control yourself. You and only you decide what to put in your mouth. Decide to put in healthy things! Don't let foods that aren't on your plan in! Are you eating because you are hungry, or because you have the munchies? There is a BIG difference here. If you are eating junk because of cravings, you have to learn to control yourself. If you are eating because your stomach is growling, maybe you aren't getting enough calories during the day. Maybe not enough water.
I know what you are going through with cravings, I just went through it 3 weeks ago. At night I would feel like eating and would go for the peanut butter jar. You say to yourself, just one taste. It never works that way. I ended up eating over half the jar! So now what do I do? I don't even keep peanut butter in the house anymore. Out of site, out of mind. I ask my self, "am I really hungry, or do I just feel like eating?" Usually it is the latter and if I drink a glass of water I'm fine. If I am hungry, I'll eat some turkey or something.
Think of it this way, it takes effort to cheat. It takes no effort to not do something, you just don't do it.
Pick a diet and stick to it. If you want to through in carbs, keep them low GI and don't eat them along with fat. Get some FIBER in your diet man! Looking at what you eat you must be backed up big time. Remember, fiber doesn't act like a carb, it just passes through you.
Keep positive, you can get through this.

[big calvin]

thanks bro....

i know what diet is gonna cut it for me i just make excused to hold it off till later and i have been doing this for years! if u ask anyone in my family they'll tell you im a big meat eater...but i also love carbs! no sweets but rice & pasta!! ohh my god how i love it!!! see this is how i know i like steak more so then rice...if u asked me to eat only rice i wouldnt like it. taste to bad. if u say eat only steak ill be like HELL YEAH!! steak is like a cheat for me in a sence!! cause i like it so much its like im not on a diet...now the reason i cheat on steak is cause in my head i say " well i should get more of a balance of foods, ok tomorrow ill start my balance diet thing for now ill cheat cause i know tomorrow i know i have to diet" DIET!!! it should be a diet in my head!! i should say " ok what do u want? some steak would hit the spot...ok ill have a steak" but i F up by eating it with rice and coke. i drink coke like a mad man!! i use to get up to 2 6 packs a day!!! thats like over 400g sugar a day!!! so i know i have a big problem in the "sugar department" . i also mess up in the morning, im on the run and i just stop at BK, if i eat the first meal bad the rest of the day is F'ED. i just cant go throughout the day eating clean knowing that that first meal was bad. everything has to be perfect! if im on a diet i have to be on the best diet! i cant eat even a little white rice and say well its all i had cause i know better!! so getting to my point im fine if i could eat steak all day with roasted chicken and some shakes. but like i guess cause i read and see most people eating "healthy carbs" that i want to be like that but it doesnt work with me. if i do stick to it my sugar is super high. so its a no win situation. i know my body cause of all the tortue i have put it through must be on very very little carbs atleast for now. now i have SIMPLE plan i came up with that say a big F YOU to keto diets % . its just eat no carbs and limit my caloires to around 3000 caloires.. if my protein is higher then it should be to be in perfect ketosis % ohh well. if my fat isnt 60-70% ohh well atleast im not cheating right? and as for the fiber part, im supressed that i move my bowles fine if not better when im on low carbs. i dont have any idea why but its just like that. i got o the bathroom like atleast 1-3 times a day. sometimes more(i may have IBS but im not sure) anyways i thank all of you for your help and motivation, and i hope to show u guys i can do and i am gonna do it.

thanks, ohh and im feeling much better more then when i wrote that last post....

[big calvin]

when i say eat no carbs i dont mean zero i mean like less then 30g or so.

[MWB]

It seems like you just keep second guessing yourself on the proper diet, and then you make a small change to compensate and everything gets out of wack. If you want to do 30 carbs a day, great! Stick to it. Don't second guess it. If you mess up one meal the WHOLE DAY IS NOT RUINED! JUST THAT ONE MEAL IS. If you mess up say to yourself,"My next meal will be perfect".

Be prepaired. One of the simplelest things you can do is get your self a shaker bottle like the AST one, throw in a few scoops of your favorite protein and take that with you wherever you go. If you get caught some where all you need to do is throw in some water, shake and drink. Simple.

Today is Monday. Fresh start to a new week. Do your best to be as perfect as you can untill Sunday. See how you feel. It takes time to adjust to a diet and to get in the habit of eating certain things. It can be tough, but once you break out of your old habits it gets much easier. Keep trying!

[Tryska]

cal...your thinking of yourself as being on a "diet". That means food is either "good" or "bad" and if you "screw up" then f*ck it...the whole thing is shot. And you blow the whole day, and then spend time feeling guilty.

check it though.....you yourself said you are gonna be low-carbing for life, right? so it's not a "diet" - it's a lifestyle. There are foods that work with your body, and food s that don't agree with you. It's all good. You need to understand your not screwing up when you eat something that doesn't agree with you. You just have to face consequences, let it go, and mitigate the damage, by getting back on your wagon. think you're giving food to much control over you personally. I also think you're screwing yourself over by not planning. Plan your weeks meals in advance. prepare it sunday night. That way there's no need to go to BK for breakfast, because you alreayd know what it is you have to eat. Go back and read your books again. Food is a drug, and you have to administer it. In your case, you know carbs don't do your body good. Neither does heroin. do you use heroin? NO. (well i don't think you do). Anyways....stop giving food so much power. it's just fuel for your body, and i think you are overthinking it bro, and that's leading you to tie up way too much emotion in it.

[big calvin]

ok i didnt write yestarday cause my comp. didnt let me go on WBB forums for some reason...

thank u guys for writing it means alot to me.

anyways ok today and yestarday where great!!! i upped the carbs some what but i for the most part its still low carbs,lean protein. im also trying to keep everything "low fat" not no fat or not high fat. here is what i did today:

meal 1
myoplex in water

meal 2
3 chicken breast with some BBQ sauce(not to much) and like 1/2- 1 cup corn

meal 3
4 scoops whey protein in water(in a shaker bottle! thanks mwb )

meal 4
2 steaks(8oz.) grilled with very little mushrooms just to see how they tasted...there ok. not to bad and not to good. but i think i can cut it.

im about to decide on what to eat for my last 2 meals. i know 1 is gonna be protien shake again and the other....maybe 1/2 roasted chicken? yeah ill have that now and the shake later.

thanks guys. till tomorrow!

[big calvin]

good day again!!

meal 1
2 atkins shakes

meal 2
4 roasted chicken drums

meal 3
8oz. flank steak

meal 4
2 atkin shakes

meal 5
8oz. flank steak

meal 6
4 roasted chicken drums
--------------------------

i still got alot in my head. u guys know how it is, is this good anuff, should i do this or do that...im always like that. i hope im doing right. cause if im not and i stick with it...man that would just mess me up big time!

[Bam Bam]

if your going keto use less prtoein and more fat but i suggest you keep some carbs involved because of your tnedency for cravings

[big calvin]

i am...just trying to keep it low carbs till i get everything i need and map out everything..stay toned cause i think your really gonna like my new meal plan.....just taking a while to make sure everythings ok with it...

thanks bammer

[big calvin]

alls went well today! i had a problem with my "plan" i was working on. i forgot that i repsound differntlly to carbs, i havent been testing my sugar to offten(only if i cheat) and i remember that before when i would eat carbs(to much glucose) or even to much protein(to many calories) my blood glucose would stay high. so atleast for now i HAVE to stick to this. and i think i can, today i ate everything i liked! STEAK!!! hehehe

meal 1
12oz. sirloin steak

meal 2
2 atkins shakes

meal 3
1/2 roasted chicken

meal 4
2 atkin shakes

meal 5
12oz. sirloin steak

now i know it doesnt have veggies but i can add mushrooms and maybe broccoli to the steak and maybe like a stir fry.

i hope tomorrow to train! lets hope i do!!

[big calvin]

no training but i still stuck to my diet

got my synthroid and glucovance today from walgreens. gonna make an apointment to see my doc for this week or next(which ever time they give me)

ohh i went to college today! yeah i was a little scared cause well there so many "lean" people and stuff. but it wasnt so bad went to see the consouler and all went well. i start in janurary(better start losing some weight )

meal 1
2 atkins shakes

meal 2
1/2 chicken

meal 3
12oz. steak

meal 4
12oz. steak

meal 5
2 atkin shakes

im feeling ok. not the best but ok.

[big calvin]

great day again! going good today my sugar was low today but its better then having it high right?

meal 1
12oz. flank steak

meal 2
2 atkin shakes

meal 3
1/2 roasted chicken

meal 4
2 atkin shakes

meal 5
12oz. cubed steak

today i felt better then yestarday, must have been all the presure of going to school. but today was really much better. i dont know if the training plan i made up is hindering my going to the gym. well cause its something i have never done before and it looks like its alot but i know my strnegth would really go up. guess i just have to tough it out or something....

[big calvin]

great day!! meals same as yestarday. every thing went perfect!

[heathj]

Good job, you're doing better then me sticking to your diet recently. Keep up the good work. How many pounds have you lost so far?

[big calvin]

thanks health, i cant really tell (try finding a scale that goes over 400lbs! ) but i think im doing good. today i added in some supplements and i have NO CRAVINGS!! most likly due to the 5htp i took in the morning(100mg) what else did i take? a multi,ala 300mg,50mg zinc,potassium 99mg,maca 1 pill, 5htp 100mg my glucovance and my synthroid. everything was dame good today! i dont know if its cause of all the supplements or the diet is starting to turn for the good cause i didnt have any craving and i wasnt hungry!!! i almost missed my 2nd meal cause i was hungry! ME , NOT HUNGRY!! go fig! i think i want to add a fat burner but dont know which one. it cant be to many pills or to big. hydroxycut is out, xeda is also out(to big) adipo i always use and it gives me headachs and all it really does is cut my hunger but i dont have any so....im not sure...any ideas on a really good fat burner thats small pills? maybe i should just go with the ECA stack and add some stuff. not sure.....

meals same as normal.

im feeling so good i think tomorrow morning im gonna go and do some deadlifts !!! HELL YEAH!!!

[Tryska]

metaburn by MRM. it's a good formula.

[big calvin]

cheated today. man this sucks so much, and i didnt really even want to cheat it was cause i was with my brother and he went to BK and i couldnt take it...it didnt even taste good and i ran to somewhere else to get something better...man i feel bad about that...the only good news is my blood sugar is still normal i guess its from the gluovance i started to take and i canceled the anvandia.

[big calvin]

not good again. cheated from meal 1, im not sure why i just didnt "feel" like dieting . sick of all this crap........

i was feeling really crappy this morning.....untill just now, i went to compUSA and there was a little kid who didnt say anything(thank god) but just looked at me. like if i was some fook'n freak or something!!! man i hate when people do that!!!! but as i was walking away i started to think "man this is BS!!! i dont have to be like this!!! i cant lose weight so fook'n fast and so easy if i just tried more!!! i know what to do!!!! i know more then most people give me credit to!!! now all the reading and researching is over and i have to ACT!!!

sorry, just blowing some steam off. ill write tomorrow in a calmer manner.

[Chris Rodgers]

You know all of us here are going to support you anyway we can Big C. Like you said, you have the knowledge, now apply it.


Applied knowledge is power.


C'mon big man. Make little steps with the diet. Have planned cheats so that you don't have to just suddenly drop everything. Good luck man.

[big calvin]

thanks lats, u know i like that phrase "applied knowledge is power" . that got me thinking alot.....

i changed my diet a littel just to see if it would help me stick to it longer-hey it couldnt hurt right?- so here is what i did today , and i have to say it went off very very well!!

meal 1
1 cup oats
2 scoops advanced protein

meal 2
2 chicken breast(8oz.) with some BBQ sauce(like 2 tbsp)

meal 3
6oz. cubed steak

meal 4
2 scoops advanced protein

meal 5
6oz. cubed steak

and my last meal is gonna be 2 scoops advanced protein again...its not so bad(i said it was a large shake) but as long as i sip and not golp its pretty good!

tomorrow im gonna see if i go to the gym and hit a bench day and maybe even some pre-1st meal cardio

by the way tryska, i think im gonna go with eca stack from drugs and not herbs. maybe add some other stuff in the mix but i think its more cost effective and ill get better results. thanks T.

[The_Chicken_Daddy]

Actually, applied knowledge is wisdom, but either way you're set man.

[big calvin]

went back to atkins, i got to use to it.

meal 1
cooked ham and sausage

meal 2
2 atkins shakes

meal 3
chicken wings

meal 4
2 atkin shakes

and im about to eat ribs.

felt pretty good today, although im almost sure tonight my blood sugar is gonna be low so have to watch for it...i just used my multivitamin today and tomorrow im gonna add in potassium for the craps..and eca stack in a week or so.

[big calvin]

man today i did my diet but i feel like crap!!! man all day i felt bad!!! i dont know if i should stop this atkins or not...i have been talking to some people and they all pretty much say that i dont need this type of diet. that i should start off eating healthy foods and balanced . then when i can stick to eating normal healthy foods work with my % of carbs and fats and protien so i always see results and it would be easier for me. but would that work? like he says that right now im use to eating like over 400g carbs and for me to cut it down to almost none is crazy!! most people
couldnt even comprehend that...but what do u guys think? i know i switch alot from diet to diet day to day but i just dont want to mess up this time. im trying but i seem to not be able to stick to much of anything.

[MWB]

This is tough because you are diabetic and I don't know what throws your blood glucose out of wack. How many carbs can you eat and keep it under control? If you want to start eating carbs again just start slow with complex low glycemic carbs, oats,sweet potatoes, brown rice.

Personally, I think some people have a hard time getting their bodies to burn fat for fuel. Calorie for calorie, I do better on a lower fat diet than a higher one. I'm talking 15-20% fat, 50-55% protein and around 30% carbs. This is roughly what I'm doing now and I've leaned out a bit in just the past 3 weeks.

[big calvin]

well because im on glucovance it lowers my sugar alot! even if i cheat the whole day if i go with more then 3 hours of not eating i start to get a headach or my fingers start to shake so i know NOW i can eat some carbs because i have help from the pills. everything for me increases my sugar. to much carbs, to much protein, or just to much caloires jumps it. but these are all in large amounts. if i keep it to good portions like 6-8oz of meat and 1-1.5 cups of a carb ill stay ok. but would i be able to do that? i have lost weight in the past on this type of eating(and a good amount) but im diabetic now so i dont know if its differnt even if that pill helps me.