I have a temper.....need help!!!

[carpediemguy]

I am an argumentative person with a temper who would get upset many times if things wouldnt get my way....

Just a few situtaions:

Once I was visiting a vet as I was freaking out when my cat came home with a big lump on her back that was full with puss and the [puss was coming out...

I took her to the vet right away being worried sick....The stupid clerk was asking me useless questions and making me wait a while even though there were no customers......I got so pissed and I started to yell and demanded immediate attention for my pet....Finally they took her in the back...

A week after I got a letter in the mail where I was told that due to my behaviour I was no longer welcome to their clinic...WTF??? I was being worried for my pet not getting attention when I thought she was in a critical situation...

One time my dog was acting lethargic and I got pissed at my wife for not taking him to the vet as I thought she was poisned or such....I started to get mad and yell as to why seh doesnt care about our dog...

A week ago I got into a averbal fight with her brother....



In my heart I am a good person but I think there are times when I tend to overreact ....

I just cant keep my temper in check, thus I was wondering if you guys could give me some helpful advice.

[entrrt]

go see a shrink

[Reinier]

Stop caring about 'em stupid animals so much
People who care too much about their pets...

A they have nobody to command around at work so they vent their authoritarian frustrations on a dog
B They have nothing to cuddle at home since theyre ugly or mean and need a pet to have love

[Rock]

or they simply love pets, there does not have to be a direct pshycological reason for everything, I have cat, he is tiny and strong for his size, he attacks my feet and has loads a guts, his name is felix, he is cool, I love the little guy.

Carpediemguy, does it feel like you are being talked down too when you get angry, patronized? I get very angry when people patronize me.

[Relentless]

havent you posted about this topic before, carpe?

[Y2A]

go see a shrink

:withstupi

I dunno man, it takes alot to get me angry. Some people just have a short fuse. Yelling at a clerk at the vet to hurry up and take care of your cat... youve got a problem bro

[Gyno Rhino]

I don't understand these threads.

"I'm angry all the time, who can help me?"

Nobody but yourself. It's called self-control. It's the difference between you and the amoeba that's sucking up some gooey crap on the floor right now.

You're a higher order life form - exercise your abilities of rational thought and empathy. Behave reponsibily, no one can make this change but you.

There's no magic cream, no special book, no nothing. You just need to grow up and realize that a) the world doesn't revolve around you, and b) acting like a baby makes you a baby. Period, end of story.

[ace dogg]

My advice is that you should stop being such an ass . I would recommend a shrink but in my experience they aren't good for anything - except dealing drugs.

People who care too much about their pets...

A they have nobody to command around at work so they vent their authoritarian frustrations on a dog
B They have nothing to cuddle at home since theyre ugly or mean and need a pet to have love

Qtip is the exception.

[carpediemguy]

I dont think shrinks are my solution....

I might just have a short fuse and I cannot take any ****...

I was thinking that I might cool myslef down, when I am getting close to erupt, by counting down to 10 or taking a big breath or such that would prevent my outburst.

It may be genetic as my dad used to be the same way.....

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts.......still waiting for some constructive advice though...

[J450n]

I too have a short fuse but with certain situations... i tend to walk away or avoid when possible. Just my 0.02...

[Drheckler]

Go get your ass kicked, that should calm you down for awhile.lol

[carpediemguy]

Maybe living with a wife who drinks too much makes me even anger as I am getting tired with her being drunk at least 3 times a week.....I am very close to divorce her and start a new life....maybe my anger will subiside somewhat...

[Reinier]

IF its a problem to you consult a pro

[Teufelhund]

Maybe people might react to you better if you got some prosthetic pupils.

If your wife is an out of control alcoholic, leave her. Some things don't change and you don't want to live life making excuses for and babysitting a drunk.

[Gyno Rhino]

If your wife is an out of control alcoholic, leave her. Some things don't change and you don't want to live life making excuses for and babysitting a drunk.

Bad advice, maybe. Have you taken her to see someone? I'm sure this is a serious toll on you - but don't give up on it yet. Addiction is addiction, it can be overcome and life can be good again. But she needs help. So help her for as long as you can. When it finally comes to the breaking point, you'll know.

[carpediemguy]

Bad advice, maybe. Have you taken her to see someone? I'm sure this is a serious toll on you - but don't give up on it yet. Addiction is addiction, it can be overcome and life can be good again. But she needs help. So help her for as long as you can. When it finally comes to the breaking point, you'll know.

She wont even consider going to AA or such....as she is too proud and maybe she would feel embarrassed if her coworkers might find about that....she works as a DA.

The breaking point has been reached already....

[Gyno Rhino]

Has she been in trouble with things at work?

[Teufelhund]

I don't know Gyno. Sounds like a great way to lose the best years of your life. I agree that if they have not sought treatment, they should do so. But I would say that if she's getting wasted every other day, becoming a recovered alcoholic is going to be tough.
For absolute sure, do not bring kids into the picture until she has it under control.

[Reinier]

I think if your spouse is an alcoholic and shows no progress you should leave her. No need to go down with her.

[aidano]

You possibly have low self-esteem. Figuring out how to raise this (self-help books, therapy..) might help you out.

[Nights]

Learn self control and take some damn responsibility for your own actions. You got angry. Don't be blaming your wives drinking problem, or hard times that you are going through. You are the one who go angry. These situations did not force you to get mad. You got mad. You chose to get mad.

Yes, you were worried about your pets. Do you thinking yelling at the receptionist who had to get that stuff done before he could take the animal in helped? probably not. Second, don't you think they would be the clearier mind, and more likely to assess how critical the situation is then you? Do you think they got the job there so they could torture some animal by making it wait for care. No, they probably got it cause they like animals and want to help them. Good job on taking out your frustration on them.

That said, learn a way to take control of yourself, or find some self help group/shrink that can help you. You ask us about it here because obviously you see that you have a problem and seem unable to handle it yourself.. yet when someone says that you should get into consuling you shun that idea away. Admit you need some outside help and take it. No shame in that.

[carpediemguy]

Has she been in trouble with things at work?

SHe drinks only after work.....

I am gonna miss my pets when I am gonna leave my wife as I am gonna move to Europe...

Unlike my wife who doesnt wanna admit that she has a problem, I at least acknowledge that I have a short fuse....

[kAiXuan]

Personally I dont think that getting drunk 3 times a week = alcoholic.
Maybe the reason she does this is because of you?
Just a thought-

[Teufelhund]

You are mistaken.

She's not a 21 year old sorority girl out looking for fun. She's his wife, with a high stress job, and she's looking for an escape. She needs to come to terms with the reality of her situation, and go get some help.

[Gyno Rhino]

Personally I dont think that getting drunk 3 times a week = alcoholic.
Maybe the reason she does this is because of you?
Just a thought-

I hope this is a very, very poor joke.

Getting drunk ANY during the week means you have a problem with alcohol. To do it three times a week screams alcoholic.

And your little quip about her drinking because of him is ridiculous. You deserve a fist in the face for it. Good thing he isn't in front of you.