Holiday Eating Tips

[Hatred]

Holiday Eating Tips


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

<<<<BUDIAK READ THIS>>>>>
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!


3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.


4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.


5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?


6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.


7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.


8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?


9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.


10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

[galileo]

I use these tips in daily life.

[twisteddendrite]

So Budiak is cooking Christmas dinner? Can he make good frosted santa cookies?

[Focused70]

Yay, Nuncamucho used the word "VAT".

Now I have to slowly convert the rest of you.

Stash

[Stephen Riddington]

Good tips.

[Anthony]

I use these tips in daily life.

:withstupi

Except replace "cookies" with "Wendy's" and "eggnog" with "ice cream."

[Y2A]

Im all over the free food thing. Take full advantage of free food whenever you can. Eat up baby!!

[Organichu]

Does McDonalds still have an eggnog milkshake? That was the ****.

[crazedwombat]

minus the eggnog add the long island....welcome to xmas

[RussianRocket]

Eat everything you see ont he table, even the plate.

[ryuage]

on front of me will be a bowl of oatmeal a jar of peanutbutter a plate of broccoli and some chicken

[MrWebb78]

Does McDonalds still have an eggnog milkshake? That was the ****.

jack in the box has an eggnog shake. but the pumpkin pie shake is to die for. ive been having about 4 a week. i cant get enough of it.

[Hatred]

Agreed on the Wendy's thing...But Eggnog??? woth 151 it is wonderful...especially when you drink it fast and eat like 50 Tootsie rolls..Ask Budes

[Anthony]

I'll never drink 151 again. After 3 shots in a row, my throat/nose/mouth is still on fire ... 2 years later!

[rdkraus]

Egg Nog requires Southern Comfort

PS Great List !!!

[sublime99]

Eat a good serving wait 30 minutes eat again and repeat until all of the leftovers are gone or have gone bad. This is a great time to be on a bulk!

Oven baked turkey, deep fried turkey, stuffing, ham, candied yams, sweet potatoes with marshmellows on top, egg nog with southern comfort, green beans, mash potatoes, six layer salad, soft rolls, pumkin pie, apple pie, cherry pie, ice cream, pound cake , mmmmmmm mmmmm mmmmm i can't wait for christmas screw the gifts i just want the food and liquor.

[BigRic]

a deep fried turkey seems absolutely, the most disguisting thing I've ever heard of.

[Gyno Rhino]

a deep fried turkey seems absolutely, the most disguisting thing I've ever heard of.

It's actually awesome beyond belief.

[MrWebb78]

Ive had a deep friend turkey once, and it was incredible. unbelievably moist. it only gets better with flavor injected into it.

[Gyno Rhino]

Yep. I had one this past Thanksgiving (the only good part of the family get together).

It was just plain amazing.

[sublime99]

I like to inject it with the cajun mix, don't knock it until you try it bigric. Look it up online and try it once you will love it.

[MrWebb78]

plus, 40 minutes of frying is better than 7 hours of baking.

[BigRic]

I like to inject it with the cajun mix, don't knock it until you try it bigric. Look it up online and try it once you will love it.

seems to american for me.

[Rock]

you guys should try norwegian christmas food, its totally sweet, its sheeps ribs, hanged outside for 2months, until totally dryness, then salted, then cooked for an entire day, and then its just puresweetness, together with potatoes, sauce an colorabi.

[Gyno Rhino]

you guys should try norwegian christmas food, its totally sweet, its sheeps ribs, hanged outside for 2months, until totally dryness, then salted, then cooked for an entire day, and then its just puresweetness, together with potatoes, sauce an colorabi.

Good lord.. That sounds soooo good.

Someday I'll come over there and we can have some salted sheep ribs together. God, that really does sound good right now. Mmm.. Salt.... Ribs.... drool...