Worst Thing You've Done Crunk!?!

[FighterInSnatch]

So I was looking at some old threads about fav. Liqour and thought this would be a funny thread.

So whats the worst thing you've done drunk/****ty, be it funny,painful or just plain stupid.

1)I've messed around with plenty of ugly chicks.
2)Fallen on face 3 times.
3)Stopped moving cars in apartment complex.(almost got in fight)
4)I've drank pigs feet juice right out of the jar.
5)Jumped in pool with with all clothes on including cell-phone.(thanx to HolyWars I got another for free)
6)Went 130+mph on motorcycle.(I was riding in back and kicked the **** out of my friend after we got off)

So what have you done...........................

[TOBART]

Hit one of my best friends in the face with a fist sized rock. He was out on the lake in a paddle boat and I didnt think I could throw that far. Well, turns out I could, and quite accurately; right in the cheek. He got 8 stitches than came out drinking later that night.

[biggimp]

ummm yeah the ugly chick thing applies here too. otherwise not much besides minor destruction of property etc...

[Jorge Sanchez]

I fell off my bike, on my face, twice. Once involving the hospital and the other involving the cops.

And obviously..... beer goblins.

[jammerz4life]

i went porta potty tippin and we heard sirens so as i pushed over the pot and it leaned against my friends truck and i thought i could use it as a ramp to get in the bed but the wall colasped and broke off the bottom part and i ran all over my other friends legs and i had to ride back with him and he kept wiping it on me.

[Beholder]

Probably the dumbest thing ive ever done was beerbong about 14 beers in a hour....get a call from work to come in if i can...(yes its in the afternoon and I am drinking like its going out of style) I say that I can...I get a ride there from my friend, get all ready for work, see the manager on duty at the time who asks me if I am have been drinking, I slur that yea I have and I shouldent of came in...I almost get canned on teh spot for it, I get out of my work clothes go over to wal-mart and pass out in the Electronics area for about 20 minutes while I was waiting for a ride.

to this day I dont know why I said yes to going in to work.

[Praetorian]

What's Crunk?



I've done alot of stupid **** when drunk, but what takes the cake was last spring break, when some buddies and I had been drinking since 9 am. We went out to this upscale bar that we'd heard so much about from another buddy. We get there stupidly drunk and it looks like it's a really good place with all these HOT chicks all over. We spot some really nice chicks sitting on some couches, we establish eye contact and one of them calls us over. Naturally mr. Penis + Beer Goggles takes over and we have a mission go.

This is where it gets really blurry.

I think we sat there for like 3-4 hours, and we all believed that we'd scored jackpot cause the convo was really sexually oriented. The chick I was talking to had her hand all over my crotch, while, I think, my buddy was frenching the other chick. Anyways, my buddy suggest that we move on to our hotel so we can get jiggy. It's all going great until my buddy just screams out "It's a dick!". I look over and see that my buddy has his hand on the other 'chicks' crotch and keeps screaming like a little girl. Then the 'chick' looks at us both and goes "Of course, what did you expect, we are all transvestites.".

The next thing I remember is that both of us are running out of that bar screaming like little girls. While my buddy was chugging down a bottle of Listerine, I was thanking my lucky star that I didn't get some lip action.

Now I've made it a rule that I check for Adams apple and hand size on all the chicks I meet.

[Canadian Crippler]

Bahahahahaha!!

[d'Anconia]

Prae that sort of stuff is the word of legend. That's one of those things I hope never happens to me ever. If I end up with a girl who says she can't lubricate herself naturally I will double-check the adam's apple and hand-size in a jiffy. If I'm not 100% sure it's a girl then that person is outta here.

Edit: Might as well put in some of my bad stuff... (after thinking about it for a while I remember this one night...)

So we decided to out to this creek in the middle of nowhere and start a bonfire and drink the night away. Well I had been drinking quite a bit and decided I needed to go #2. It was very dark out and I walked toward the creek and stepped on what I THOUGHT WAS SAND... it actually turned out to be some gross foamy-bubbley stuff near the bank of the creek and WHAM the next thing I knew I was completely submerged in water. Luckily I didn't have any electronics on me but my clothes were soaked so I had to lay them out near the bonfire and party in my boxers. Of course I did end up going #2 near the creek and wiping with a beer box ewwwww.
When we left the creek I went with my buddy back to my car to drive us both home. I drove about a mile and accidently ran the car into the curb and got a flat. So we pull the car over (well actually it was already against the curb LOL), I set my backpack on the roof of the car, and call our friend to pick us up. He picks us up and I wake up in the morning with a call from my bank telling me that there are several charges on my card and they think it has been stolen. I go back to my half-crashed car and realize that I left my backpack on top of my car and someone must have taken it. The backpack has my 4G 40gb iPod in it, $200 cash, a bunch of my clothes, and also my workout log that I hadn't backed up yet (with a few months of workouts in it). It also turned out that I must have left the keys to my car in them because I looked inside my car to find that my car stereo was missing.

This was pretty much hands-down the worst night of my life. But hey at least I didn't rub some tranny's penis...

[CarlP]

That story automatically tops anything else that gets posted in this thread.

[sh0es]

What's Crunk?



I've done alot of stupid **** when drunk, but what takes the cake was last spring break, when some buddies and I had been drinking since 9 am. We went out to this upscale bar that we'd heard so much about from another buddy. We get there stupidly drunk and it looks like it's a really good place with all these HOT chicks all over. We spot some really nice chicks sitting on some couches, we establish eye contact and one of them calls us over. Naturally mr. Penis + Beer Goggles takes over and we have a mission go.

This is where it gets really blurry.

I think we sat there for like 3-4 hours, and we all believed that we'd scored jackpot cause the convo was really sexually oriented. The chick I was talking to had her hand all over my crotch, while, I think, my buddy was frenching the other chick. Anyways, my buddy suggest that we move on to our hotel so we can get jiggy. It's all going great until my buddy just screams out "It's a dick!". I look over and see that my buddy has his hand on the other 'chicks' crotch and keeps screaming like a little girl. Then the 'chick' looks at us both and goes "Of course, what did you expect, we are all transvestites.".

The next thing I remember is that both of us are running out of that bar screaming like little girls. While my buddy was chugging down a bottle of Listerine, I was thanking my lucky star that I didn't get some lip action.

Now I've made it a rule that I check for Adams apple and hand size on all the chicks I meet.

GG
-------

I popped my alcohol cherry with Jack. This is the only time i have experienced a hangover or "brave man syndrome" while intoxicated. I tryed to fight everyone, almost got into a fight with a buddies dad, a coulpe friends, and a girl...thankfully they held back becuase it was obvious i was tossed, lol. I remember for the next week if i would smell the aramo of whiskey I would gag, this has never happend again though (thank god), lmfao

I dont wanna get too off topic but i think it would be cool to hear about other peoples experiences when they got drunk for the first time

[sCaRz*Of*PaiN]

1) Fell face first in the middle of a bunch of girls playing strip twister
2) Puked blood
3) After #2 I stopped drinking...

That story automatically tops anything else that gets posted in this thread.

Yeah, it does.

[Rock]

Walked up to a norwegian uptown posh white as snow popstar, ripped of my shirt and flexed my muscle and asked her, do you want a copacabana boy for your huge swimming pool?

[sh0es]

Walked up to a norwegian uptown posh white as snow popstar, ripped of my shirt and flexed my muscle and asked her, do you want a copacabana boy for your huge swimming pool?

LMFAO


Which "muscle" did you flex? :evillaugh

[Rock]

the pecs mainly, she freaked out and ran to the bathroom, yeah you know, tough **** being a diva and all.

[ShockBoxer]

Woke up in the middle of field with my shirt ripped up, a shoe missing, two black eyes, bruised knuckles, bruised ribs, and covered in blood (though I wasn't cut and my nose wasn't blocked up like it had been bleeding). I'm an angry drunk and I'd gotten in fights before when loaded but that one scared the **** out of me because I had no clue what happened. 12 years later and I haven't gotten drunk since.

[Kiaran]

Ohhhh...I have some dumb ones:

1) My friend and I thought Fight Club sounded like a good time and proceded to take turns punching each other in the face at a party...then we decided to try to involve others...they didn't take kindly. My face was swollen for three days.

2) Thought Fight club sounded like fun again and got a different friend involved on a different occastion. Unfortunately he was 8 inches taller than me and outweighed me by 100 lbs. We had a good time, none the less and scared a bunch of people. My face was swollen for a week after that one....never did fight club again.

3) Decided to have a contest to see who could get down all 4 flights of stairs in a dorm the fastest on my friend's deushy roomate's matress. This ended up with us getting bored and leaving his roommate's mattress outside in the bushes.

4) Passed out in the middle of a street while thinking it was cool to lay in the street.

5) Said numerous idiotic things to women, all resulting in a slap across the face.

[d'Anconia]

This thread is golden.

Now that I think of it there was also this time where we went to a liquor store and before we had gotten back to my house I was already drunk (I was probably 16 at the time). Well anyway after a while I decided I needed to "run" the alcohol out of me. I made it about 200 yards before I decided to "rest". I woke up maybe 20 minutes later under my neighbor's parked car with a pool of puke right next to me. I looked back toward my house to find a couple of police cars and my uncle spraying my friend down with a hose (my friend was trying to fight him).

As for the first time I got drunk... I was probably a sophomore in high school and was against drinking up until then but decided to just go for it. I drank and remember leaning back on a chair and having it fall back. Eventually we had to get some mormon dudes to drive me and my friends back home. The next day we went shopping for some La Crosse gear with my friend's mom and I ended up puking out the window of her car.

[Nosaj]

I think post #9 is going to take the cake in this thread, but I have to admit, I would have loved to see #13... I mean who is too good for a copacabana boy? Gotta know when to take advantage of a golden opportunity, dumb diva!

[Hatred]

Let me be the first to remind everyone that Conan O'Brien was the originator of "Crunk".
He used it as the "All Purpose Swear word" circa 1995.

Way before any gold toothed Bling hoodrat even thought of it.

[Hatred]

My contributions:

I attacked the neck of a lesbian like a vampire and she let me get away with it for a lil bit.

Punted a cat outside a club and had the cops called on me.

Stole Getfit's socks and (allegedly) bit her ass. Noone recalls the latter. Wishful thinking methinks.

Barfed outside of Chase's car and puked all over my hand.

Passed out on the floor in the hotel room only to wake up with barf on my pillow and surrounded by a pile of almonds and empty wrappers.
(This was all in the same night.)

Shasta made a smart comment to me on a rafting trip and I flipped and pushed her off the boat and threw her 30.00 hat.
I then proceeded to wade to shore and stumble home through the woods which took 5 hrs. I was sunburned,bleeding and generally in bad shape by the time it was done.
I did however find myself in petting distance of a family of deer and ate myself sick with plums from a tree I happened to stumble upon.

I partied with a bunch of mexicans when i went camping with Shasta's family. They drank me under the table to say the least.
I got back to the camp and had no idea which RV she was in so I passed out on picnic table. The smell of plastic on the campfire made me puke..twice. I was freezing todeath and woke up to see a dog rummaging through the garbage and pawing at a cooler. I was still smashed and was convinced the campsite was being ransacked by a pack of Coyote's so I laid very still as not to become a meal.
when the sun came up I saw it was someone's dog chained to the RV and it was a puppy. (Damn thing looked just like a Coyote or a dingo)

*Ran into my flight attendant's when I first flew into Florida at the hotel and partied with them..I was acosted by one who came back to her wits and said she was going to bed and then I puked in her bathroom and stumbled across the street. I proceeded to meet with the company we were going to buy beds from and basically had an interview at the same time which I aced as evidenced by said company making me a position. I was still drunk throughout the whole thing.

Getting freaky in a vending area with an executive of Sally Beauty Supply at my first ever trade show in NYC because she was sharing a room at her hotel.

2nd trade show I had ever been to in Vegas:
Getting freaky with a girl from a booth across from mine in the hotel room that the president and I were sharing only to have him walk in while I am enjoying a furburger.
<Lights click on interrupting moaning>
"I'll come back" <snicker>
He went into the bathroom to call everyone he knew laughing hysterically. being Dutch he thought it was funny and I was his favorite from then on.

Same show.
I sat across the table from some customers that I was supposed to meet at the show getting hammered. They had no clue who I was and vice versa.
Customers sis basically clung to me begging me for kisses and trying to get me to go to her room. I was so exhausted from the night before that I had to turn her down andget some sleep.
After the show said customer called me up to say she never saw me..then the pieces fell together.

3rd show Miami.
Cute little 40 yr old redhead and her sis in law come by the booth at the most worthless show ever. This woman was HOT HOT HOT..and married.....
I proceeded to get SO Obliterated at the open bar that her and I are talking then start ,making out in front of her HUSBAND'S SISTER!!
She told me that I had the most gorgeous green '****-me" eyes and she wanted me blah blah...I had to leave to go puke in my room and I guess the **** hit the fan while I was gone. The drag show was very enjoyable though..It opened like a normal prodiuction then the "Female performer" spoke and everyone was laughing and gasping at the man's voice they heard. I was SMASHED and knew it was a guy..
I guess that 2 yrs of working in a gay bar kinda made it feel normal.

4th show.nashville.
I was heading back home for a show and was going to meet my ex there.(Amanda)
While I am at the industry party BS'ing with some hotties(fubar'ed) Kim walks up
(My ex from Ohio that screwed up my head leaving the person you people know) and says "hi"
Her whole family is there (they own a salon) and we hang out...we were walking around (smashed) and Kim pulls me to the side and kisses me. My brain locked up "Why did you do that?" I already Harbored hatred for her on some level at this point.
"I missed you" was her response (that BITCH)...anyhow we go to get food oblivious that I was Supposed to meet Amanda 35 minutea ago at the front door.
My coworker finds me in the restaurant anfd is giving me this"Sorry dude' look..I look to his left and Amanda is standing there.
I panicked inside. said excuse me as she was walking away.
I was sitting with the woman I cheated on her with and she didn't know who she was at all til i said "Oh that's kim"
"WHAT?! KIM?! you mean KIM KIM???!!!!

Alcohol sucks apparently.
I have a million more.

[FighterInSnatch]

My contributions:

I attacked the neck of a lesbian like a vampire and she let me get away with it for a lil bit.

Punted a cat outside a club and had the cops called on me.

Stole Getfit's socks and (allegedly) bit her ass. Noone recalls the latter. Wishful thinking methinks.

Barfed outside of Chase's car and puked all over my hand.

Passed out on the floor in the hotel room only to wake up with barf on my pillow and surrounded by a pile of almonds and empty wrappers.
(This was all in the same night.)

Shasta made a smart comment to me on a rafting trip and I flipped and pushed her off the boat and threw her 30.00 hat.
I then proceeded to wade to shore and stumble home through the woods which took 5 hrs. I was sunburned,bleeding and generally in bad shape by the time it was done.
I did however find myself in petting distance of a family of deer and ate myself sick with plums from a tree I happened to stumble upon.

I partied with a bunch of mexicans when i went camping with Shasta's family. They drank me under the table to say the least.
I got back to the camp and had no idea which RV she was in so I passed out on picnic table. The smell of plastic on the campfire made me puke..twice. I was freezing todeath and woke up to see a dog rummaging through the garbage and pawing at a cooler. I was still smashed and was convinced the campsite was being ransacked by a pack of Coyote's so I laid very still as not to become a meal.
when the sun came up I saw it was someone's dog chained to the RV and it was a puppy. (Damn thing looked just like a Coyote or a dingo)

*Ran into my flight attendant's when I first flew into Florida at the hotel and partied with them..I was acosted by one who came back to her wits and said she was going to bed and then I puked in her bathroom and stumbled across the street. I proceeded to meet with the company we were going to buy beds from and basically had an interview at the same time which I aced as evidenced by said company making me a position. I was still drunk throughout the whole thing.

Getting freaky in a vending area with an executive of Sally Beauty Supply at my first ever trade show in NYC because she was sharing a room at her hotel.

2nd trade show I had ever been to in Vegas:
Getting freaky with a girl from a booth across from mine in the hotel room that the president and I were sharing only to have him walk in while I am enjoying a furburger.
<Lights click on interrupting moaning>
"I'll come back" <snicker>
He went into the bathroom to call everyone he knew laughing hysterically. being Dutch he thought it was funny and I was his favorite from then on.

Same show.
I sat across the table from some customers that I was supposed to meet at the show getting hammered. They had no clue who I was and vice versa.
Customers sis basically clung to me begging me for kisses and trying to get me to go to her room. I was so exhausted from the night before that I had to turn her down andget some sleep.
After the show said customer called me up to say she never saw me..then the pieces fell together.

3rd show Miami.
Cute little 40 yr old redhead and her sis in law come by the booth at the most worthless show ever. This woman was HOT HOT HOT..and married.....
I proceeded to get SO Obliterated at the open bar that her and I are talking then start ,making out in front of her HUSBAND'S SISTER!!
She told me that I had the most gorgeous green '****-me" eyes and she wanted me blah blah...I had to leave to go puke in my room and I guess the **** hit the fan while I was gone. The drag show was very enjoyable though..It opened like a normal prodiuction then the "Female performer" spoke and everyone was laughing and gasping at the man's voice they heard. I was SMASHED and knew it was a guy..
I guess that 2 yrs of working in a gay bar kinda made it feel normal.

4th show.nashville.
I was heading back home for a show and was going to meet my ex there.(Amanda)
While I am at the industry party BS'ing with some hotties(fubar'ed) Kim walks up
(My ex from Ohio that screwed up my head leaving the person you people know) and says "hi"
Her whole family is there (they own a salon) and we hang out...we were walking around (smashed) and Kim pulls me to the side and kisses me. My brain locked up "Why did you do that?" I already Harbored hatred for her on some level at this point.
"I missed you" was her response (that BITCH)...anyhow we go to get food oblivious that I was Supposed to meet Amanda 35 minutea ago at the front door.
My coworker finds me in the restaurant anfd is giving me this"Sorry dude' look..I look to his left and Amanda is standing there.
I panicked inside. said excuse me as she was walking away.
I was sitting with the woman I cheated on her with and she didn't know who she was at all til i said "Oh that's kim"
"WHAT?! KIM?! you mean KIM KIM???!!!!

Alcohol sucks apparently.
I have a million more.

PROPS! LOL!

[Matt04]

hahahahahahahahaha Hatred you have had some very funny experiances.

i can only hope to experiance these in my years to come.

[galileo]

Check my old journal (De Motu) from 2002 on. I'm sure you'll get your money's worth.

[razorcut]

My contributions.....

Very nice. Just out of curiousity, what kind of job do you have?

I could go on forever here, but one of my most memorable all star moments:

I puked.....on the dance floor.....on the hot girl I was dancing with. I did what every other self-respecting guy would do: Cleaned myself up in the bathroom with a healthy dose of tap water and hit the dance floor again with my Travolta-esque moves.