Noah's ark

[Surferboy]

Just found this and like it. So I thought I would share.

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said,
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard .... but no ark.
"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!
When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?".
"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."


And people wonder why I am an anarchist.

[Canadian Crippler]

That was pretty funny actually, haha. Yeah, I don't want to start another WBB political thread (God I hate those) so I'll leave it at that.

[d'Anconia]

Libertarian 4 life.

[subnet_rx]

nice

[TwiloMike]

Uh huh.... (desperately trying not to get political)...

[Garrix]

40 days of rain is nothing, seattle's beat the bible in that catagory, aint no global floodin i can see.

[Tryska]

bureaucracy is bureaucracy.


fact of the matter is pretty much all of it is there for a reason. And before anyone starts - is not because of those damn "liberals".

everyone hates bureacracy until a pigfarm or a landfill moves within 50 yards of their property line. then all of a sudden zoning doesn't seem so bad.

[Gyno Rhino]

It's there because government is self-serving. It serves itself FIRST, then the people forced to live within it's confines.

[Tryska]

of course it does - no one's really holding government accountable anymore are they?


a bunch of bostonians dressed up like Indians and tossed tons of tea into the harbor, all because of a 2-cent tax hike.


we're just not that kind of American anymore i think.

[Teufelhund]

I'm still wondering how he got to those tube worms that live in boiling water in the crushing depths of the bottom of the ocean. Surely the massive influx of freshwater would have destroyed most oceanic life. He would have had to have saved them, although I suppose they could have evolved after the fact *snicker*. Also, Coral reefs are exceedingly sensitive to temperature, water, salinity, and light changes. Putting them all under several thousand feet of water (enough to cover a mountain) for any amount of time would surely have destroyed them. I wonder how Noah managed to save the coral reefs.

hmm. can you make a snorkel out of wood?

Anyway, even if he did manage to build the ark, I would imagine it still takes a couple weeks to license it for live cargo.

[Anthony]

I'm sitting here wondering why you people can't enjoy a joke instead of starting a political debate. It's hilarious and pathetic at the same time.

[Teufelhund]

lol! I liked the joke! It was thought provoking.

I think that might be why people are debating. They were provoked.

[Anthony]

I didn't see your post before I posted mine, so I wasn't talking to you, kc&jojo.

It's still funny that people have nothing better to do than argue politics on a WEIGHT LIFTING forum. lol. Cracks me the **** up.

[MixmasterNash]

40 days of rain is nothing, seattle's beat the bible in that catagory, aint no global floodin i can see.

Bah, it's rains frequently in Seattle, not a LOT. Atlanta gets more inches per year. You guys need some real thunderstorms.

But I guess God is really displeased with New Jersey right now.

[Teufelhund]

I wasn't aware that being pleased with New Jersey was an option, LOL.

[Anthony]

I wasn't aware that being pleased with New Jersey was an option, LOL.

Amen to that!

[Gyno Rhino]

of course it does - no one's really holding government accountable anymore are they?


a bunch of bostonians dressed up like Indians and tossed tons of tea into the harbor, all because of a 2-cent tax hike.


we're just not that kind of American anymore i think.

That wasn't about a 2 cent tax increase.

It was much deeper than that.

[TwiloMike]

I wasn't aware that being pleased with New Jersey was an option, LOL.

We're back in good graces, thankyouverymuch.

[Tryska]

That wasn't about a 2 cent tax increase.

It was much deeper than that.

yes.


and so is letting your government set the rules for you now. especially when it's truly your government and not the Queen of England.

this is the thing i don't understand - people whinge and moan about the man and how he's screwing you over, but very few actually move beyond the whinging and moaning stage.

[Anthony]

this is the thing i don't understand - people whinge and moan about the man and how he's screwing you over, but very few actually move beyond the whinging and moaning stage.

This seriously cracks me up.

[Teufelhund]

me too. between things going deeper and the screwing and all the incessant moaning... A guy could get the wrong idea!

[Tryska]

This seriously cracks me up.

why would that crack you up anthony?

[Anthony]

Not to get personal, but for someone who doesn't train you spend a lot of time on a weight training forum whining and moaning about the government. And while you may do something more than that, I certainly haven't heard about it.

[Teufelhund]

Oh.

I think the reason I was cracking up was funnier.

[Tryska]

Not to get personal, but for someone who doesn't train you spend a lot of time on a weight training forum whining and moaning about the government. And while you may do something more than that, I certainly haven't heard about it.

hmm...for not getting personal you sure seem to think you know a whole lot about me and my personal life, eh?

here's a couple of things - just because I may not chitchat about training or keep a journal here - doesn't mean i don't train. and just because i do chitchat here about politics, doesn't mean that i'm not actively involved with politics in my area.


but you are entitled to any assumptions you feel necessary to make. no skin off my back one way or the other.