Is this unreasonable?

**Mercuryblade** · 10-29-2006 05:32 PM

So last weekend, I met this lady, and ended up spending two nights with her, we only made out, but I slept at her place once and then we passed out together at her friends place. Long story short shes really good looking and pretty cool. And she tells me she had a really great time with me and wants to hang out again. But I told her that there was no way we'd be able to hang out last week because I had way to much stuff to do I had a big evening exam, between lab and class and working out, I usually have maybe an hour to myself each day, I usually do homework right up until I fall asleep. I've been kind of putting off talking to her, because I'm not sure I want to get into a relationship right now. This semester is really rough, two of my classes are weed out classes, in one of my classes they have a preset curve, basically you get a grade thats a letter grade higher, and the average on the last test was a 62% without the curve, and the instructors said that they need to make the next test harder because that score was a little high. And next semester is only going to be worse in terms of workload, because I'm a transfer student and switched majors I'm taking a heavier class load than one usually would in my already hard major.
Anyways I had some really bad stuff happen over the past few years, mom had cancer, dad had really bad accident and could't walk for three years, had some family friends die really young of cancer, and then earlier this year my sister decided it would be cool to try and kill herself. I'll spare you the details of that whole situation because I could turn that into book. Basically I've been trying to keep my life as drama free as possible and decided that I don't want to get involved with anyone for awhile, at least until this evil school year is over and I get some degree of normalcy in my life.
I guess my question is, does that sound unreasonable?

**Tofer** · 10-29-2006 05:53 PM

No.

**whiteman90909** · 10-29-2006 05:54 PM

Not at all. Its your life, and only you know how much you can handle at any given time. Dont overload yourself.

**Jorge Sanchez** · 10-29-2006 05:57 PM

If you feel the need to ask for relationship advice on an internet forum, you're not mature enough to be in a relationship. You made the right decision!

**Ricky Bobby** · 10-29-2006 06:49 PM

see if she is up for a more "casual relationship." Something w/no strings.

**McIrish** · 10-30-2006 01:33 AM

I'm with the peanut gallery - get your own stuff sorted out before even worrying about some girl. Sounds like you've got enough on your plate without her... then again, who says a relationship needs to be a burden? Who knows, maybe she'll be cool with you guys just having a casual thing. RickyB hit it on the head there. If she isn't... well, you've got other stuff going on anyway and you can always find a girl later on.

**Fuzzy** · 10-30-2006 05:05 AM

Damn girls, always have a craving for them, and never enough time...

Im guessing youve been thinking bout her? ANd its been bugging you?

I had one girl chill out with me on my lap at a party, happenened to be D cup (hehehe, ans she was 14) and lately I havent been able to stop thinking about her.

So maybe your feeling a little attached

**ShockBoxer** · 10-30-2006 09:33 AM

I'd tell her upfront that this is how much time a week you'd have for her because school is crazy right now. If that's good enough for her it should be good enough for you. My gf and I only see each other one night a week because of her schoolwork... I take her to dinner every Friday and she spends the night, Saturday morning comes and she's gone and that's it for another week.

Works as long as both people are fine with things.

**RedSpikeyThing** · 10-30-2006 11:04 AM

Take your one free hour for tommorow and read her exactly what you wrote here. That should solve the problem.

**DeHartD** · 10-30-2006 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by RedSpikeyThing

Take your one free hour for tommorow and read her exactly what you wrote here. That should solve the problem.

Ya, tell her that you think she is great, but you don't feel that you'd be able to give her the amount of time you would like to. See if she understands, if not, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

**Nik00117** · 10-30-2006 12:13 PM

I'd tell you you got a crazy workload and couldn't handle a GF right now, however you'd be interested in a relationship later on after your workload dies down.

**ShockBoxer** · 10-30-2006 12:46 PM

That sounds like a lame cop out.

Seriously, if you care at all what she thinks just tell her what's up... everything in your first post. Chances are she'll run screaming and problem is solved. If not then decide what you're going to do.

**Sensei** · 10-30-2006 03:02 PM

I think you need to get on with your life. Don't subject her to your drama whether you decide to start a relationship with her or not.

IMHO, relationships are just like training, you have to dedicate yourself and your time to it (in other words, make it a priority) or it's just not going to happen.

**Mercuryblade** · 10-30-2006 06:28 PM

I think you need to get on with your life. Don't subject her to your drama whether you decide to start a relationship with her or not.

IMHO, relationships are just like training, you have to dedicate yourself and your time to it (in other words, make it a priority) or it's just not going to happen.

I'm not in middle school, I know relationships just don't happen. But I know she likes me and I had a good time with her, and I just don't know if I should be getting involved with anyone right now, which sucks because I want to but at the same time I know it's probably not a good idea, hence I was hoping something I might read in here might push me in the direction of making a decision.

**Sensei** · 10-30-2006 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by Mercuryblade

I'm not in middle school, I know relationships just don't happen. But I know she likes me and I had a good time with her, and I just don't know if I should be getting involved with anyone right now, which sucks because I want to but at the same time I know it's probably not a good idea, hence I was hoping something I might read in here might push me in the direction of making a decision.

Forget about it. She probably doesn't deserve a peach like you.

**Mercuryblade** · 10-30-2006 09:01 PM

Thanks for the advice guys, I'm not the whiny biotch my posts may make me out to be, in fact I'm one of the least dramatic people you will ever meet in your life, if I really felt like this was a huge important decision I wouldn't be asking for advice in a weightlifting forum, I'd ask one of my friends, but most of them don't know about my sister situation, it's not something I like share with the world, mostly out of respect for her because she's kind of embarassed about it.

**PhilsterT** · 10-30-2006 09:08 PM

Dude, you only need to do what you have to. All that extra crap you typed--this psudeo-justification for your problem--is unnecessary.

**WBBIRL** · 10-30-2006 09:49 PM

Usually im an ******* when it comes to these kinds of posts, which is a direct result of naturally being a sour/assholish person and not having ever had anything close to a relationship with a girl. But this time, for you ill hold back that urge.

You've had a hard life up to this point it would seem. You need to ask yourself if you want your life to get even harder, if you do then go ahead and and hook up with this girl. If you dont, then work on your education and your future. Because working paycheck to paycheck and trying to keep your new love to be happy will only want to make you wish you had done things differently. You cant pay your bills, your not answering your phone for fear of who might be on the other end... eating ramen noodles so you have lights in your trailer. One thing mounts to the next, the car breaks down and you cant fix it because you dont make enough. Now you cant get to your job because the car you cant afford to fix cant get you there.

There are plenty of fish in the sea

**Mercuryblade** · 10-31-2006 12:46 PM

There are plenty of fish in the sea

I'm not hung up on this girl by any means, I've been trying to use her as maybe a justification for doing what I told myself I wasn't going to do for while.

**Eszekial** · 10-31-2006 01:23 PM

Tell her that you wont have much time with her.

If she's ok with that... then what the hell?

**Jorge Sanchez** · 10-31-2006 04:30 PM

I stand by me first piece of advice, but you are overthinking this. If you think you like her go out with her a few times. It really isn't that complicated. You sound like a whiny 13 year old girl who is trying to create drama. No offence, of course.

**Eszekial** · 10-31-2006 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Jorge Sanchez

I stand by me first piece of advice, but you are overthinking this. If you think you like her go out with her a few times. It really isn't that complicated. You sound like a whiny 13 year old girl who is trying to create drama. No offence, of course.

Well said.

**ddegroff** · 10-31-2006 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by Eszekial

Tell her that you wont have much time with her.

If she's ok with that... then what the hell?

I agree. You haven't hung out all that much, so give it time.

See if it's worth it. Either way let her know how you feel.

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