New Rules!!!

[BigCorey75]

I love this segement on Bill Maher's talk show and they are hilarious and ive been inspired to do some new rules for the gym


New Rule: If you can read a book while doing it your not exercising!!! im sure you cant wait to find out if Suzy Rottencrotch is going to fall for her hapless beautiful pool boy and leave her ass hole husband but its not what the gym is for. True exercising calls for focus and intensity. You cant read that fat ass off


New Rule: Pink dumbells are not allowed in the same section with the 100's. I understand that not everyone can lift the 100s but they should have their own sections. I want to be able to do my dumbell bench and not have to hear the bitching of a smaller person that my grunting is to loud and the 100s make to much noise. Say get stronger or get the **** away from my section.


New Rule: No ****ing curling in the squat rack!!! There are tons of other places to do ur curls the next time I have to wait to do squats or deadlift beause some teenage punk is curling the barbell im going to impale him with it and make him eat his ipod.


New Rule: Belts are only allowed on heavy squats and deadlifts. I know you want to protect ur back and keep ur core tight but if your back isnt strong enough to with stand curling 30 pound dumbells Im not quite sure u need to be lifitng weights.


New Rule: Old guys, PUT ON SOME ****ING CLOTHES!!! We know your comfortable in your body not because your in particular good shape but youve been in it for 97 years. No one whats to see what gravity has done to it. I understand you will be nude for a few seconds while putting on clothers but to strut and talk to everyone in the locker room next to a young guy and lift one leg on the ledge displaying your prostate, which by now is bigger than your ego, no one want to see it, get in get your shower and for god sakes keep your hands off the altar boys!!!


New Rule: Women if your going to wear the skimpy clothes dont get mad if a guy sneaks a look. I understand its ur right to wear what ya want and to workout in peace I understand that but be logical about the situation. We are men and if we see some ass cheeks hanging out or some tits on display we will look, we cant help ourselves. But hey look at it as a compliment that you are doing some good work and have a killer body. So were going to look, dont want us to look, cover it up. I dont walk around in a police officer uniform and get mad when people walk up to me for help. In the infamous words of Dave Chappelle, you may not be a whore, but your definetly wearing a whores uniform.


and finally....



New Rule: If you and your workout partner are gay and perpetually horny please, leave it at home. This goes for straight couples as well no one wants to see yall play the game of suffocate each others with our tongue or play hide the weenie. Its a gym not a hotel room. Now im all for gay rights and I really understand ur plight anddo think yall have equal rights and should be allowed to love who you want to love. Just dont love so much in such a public place. Hand shake, hug cool, full fledge tongue action not cool. Something a bit unnerving trying to get focused for a heavy set of squats and I see in the mirror two guys behind me hugged up and giving each others oral exams. The gym is not the place to display your coming out party or to display to the world here is my new gay lover. Thats what Thanksgiving, Christmas, and your fathers 50th birthday party are for....



stay tuned for more new rules.....

[lifter4life]

1st rule was good. The rest sound like your head = meat.

[kingfisher]

ur compleate faylyoor to spel an/dor punchew8/prufereed kinda preventated me from acheevingg fool enjoyment of yoor huumer.

[BigCorey75]

Ha, just fixed it for our local english majors....lol

[Bicster]

New rule: Learn when to use: too and you're