Unusual question, but here it is. (drunk story)

[Den Fisher]

Alright, well I've been straight all 18 years of my life. And still am I do believe, but last year I was drunk off many shots of rum and brewskis. And this kid I did not know was bi begged for it. And well I "gave" it to him and so forth. And I mainly forgot about it all school year. Then it resurfaced back up, and I need some of your guys advice on it. I never been turned on by a man or doubt I even was that night, it just happened I believe because my state of mind was so impaired from the alcohol. Do you guys think this is something I should just dismiss and forget about? And yeah, I've had 4 girlfriends since the incident and am still dating one now.

[Built]

There aren't too many people who are 100% strait or 100% gay. It's a continuum. Personally, I don't know why anyone is concerned with it. You're attracted to what you're attracted to. There's really nothing to work out or decide here. If you find youself digging another guy, well, enjoy. If not, who cares?

[_8_Ball]

It doesn't matter how tank'ed you were. To "give" it to him, there must be part of you that might have those feelings.

You need to really think about all that and not dismiss it because of sociaty. If your gay, be gay, if your not, then just forget about it. Just don't lie to yourself trying to change your mind.

There's nothing wrong with being gay, there is something wrong with pretending your not IMO.

8

[Bupp]

Den, I've done some really messed up things in my life when hammered. I could probably say 10-15 things that I've done that would completely shock you. But I've never slipped it to a man while drunk. I'm going to go ahead and say you aren't normal...Not that there is anything wrong with that.

That being said, if you do like guys and you also like chicks, I"d vote for going after chicks because it will cause a lot less stress and drama in your life and you will get to avoid heinous conversations with family.

[Den Fisher]

Well, the point I'm trying to make is that this whole issue makes me feel guilty somewhat. And I never have feelings towards another man ever, so this about me deciding if I should go after men or women isn't a question. It'll always be the ladies. And I can guarantee you, that if I wasn't drunk none of this would've even happened. And he was the one bringing it up, wasn't my idea. I'm just looking for a way to resolve this and bring ease to my mind again.

And it's not just about society, what about my religion? Feels almost like I deceived God. Because the bible definitely doesn't condone homosexuality.

[getfit]

Well, the point I'm trying to make is that this whole issue makes me feel guilty somewhat. And I never have feelings towards another man ever, so this about me deciding if I should go after men or women isn't a question. It'll always be the ladies. And I can guarantee you, that if I wasn't drunk none of this would've even happened. And he was the one bringing it up, wasn't my idea. I'm just looking for a way to resolve this and bring ease to my mind again.

And it's not just about society, what about my religion? Feels almost like I deceived God. Because the bible definitely doesn't condone homosexuality.

Drunk or not, I always believe you know exactly what you're doing, unless you were drunk to the point that you couldn't tell whether there was a girl in front of you or a guy.

[Den Fisher]

Drunk or not, I always believe you know exactly what you're doing, unless you were drunk to the point that you couldn't tell whether there was a girl in front of you or a guy.

Yes, I know what was in front of me. But even in different situations when drinking you don't care. I didn't care at the time, just like most people when they drink. Some people piss in public, run their mouths off when intoxicated. But wouldn't think of doing any of that under a sober mind state.

[BilltheButcher]

I think Andrew Dice Clay explained it best.

[Jordanbcool]

Drunk or not, I always believe you know exactly what you're doing, unless you were drunk to the point that you couldn't tell whether there was a girl in front of you or a guy.

I agree. You're not as caring when you drink but you still know what you're doing. Thats why I don't like when people do bad things, like run over kids. And then say "I didn't mean too, I was impaired". Its a cop-out.

It sounds like you're convinced you're straight. If this is true and you're being totally honest with yourself then I would try to bury this memory deep. Either by yourself or through some therapy. I know if this were me I would feel ashamed of myself for years to come and thats not a good life to live.

Maybe its not so serious with you but I would think about getting some counseling regardless. That way you can get your true feelings off your chest in privacy.

[TwiloMike]

Well, the point I'm trying to make is that this whole issue makes me feel guilty somewhat. And I never have feelings towards another man ever, so this about me deciding if I should go after men or women isn't a question. It'll always be the ladies. And I can guarantee you, that if I wasn't drunk none of this would've even happened. And he was the one bringing it up, wasn't my idea. I'm just looking for a way to resolve this and bring ease to my mind again.

People do a lot of stuff when they're drunk that they may not have done while sober. I wouldn't worry about it in your case. I'd worry more about getting hammered at 18.

What you did with that guy was out of character for you but it wasn't anything "bad". No one was hurt, the act was consensual, there is no victim to speak of, etc. You have some social conditioning to work through but otherwise I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

And it's not just about society, what about my religion? Feels almost like I deceived God. Because the bible definitely doesn't condone homosexuality.

It doesn't condone binge drinking and disobeying your parents either. How guilty do you feel for that? I think you're focusing on someting that's popular currently to focus on. Take it in perspective- you didn't do anything worse than you typically do.

[McIrish]

People do a lot of stuff when they're drunk that they may not have done while sober. I wouldn't worry about it in your case. I'd worry more about getting hammered at 18.

What you did with that guy was out of character for you but it wasn't anything "bad". No one was hurt, the act was consensual, there is no victim to speak of, etc. You have some social conditioning to work through but otherwise I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.


It doesn't condone binge drinking and disobeying your parents either. How guilty do you feel for that? I think you're focusing on someting that's popular currently to focus on. Take it in perspective- you didn't do anything worse than you typically do.

I think Mikey's spot on here - the only reason that you're so concerned (personally and from a religious standpoint) that you had a homosexual experience is because you've been socially conditioned to be a straight-laced boy attracted solely to women. Without getting off on a religious tangent, presumably your religion would frown upon you having any sort of sexual relations at your age, regardless of gender. If you're genuinely concerned with the religious ramifications, be penitent and ask for forgiveness.

That being said, I personally think religion isn't the issue.

[Jordanbcool]

I think Mikey's spot on here - the only reason that you're so concerned (personally and from a religious standpoint) that you had a homosexual experience is because you've been socially conditioned to be a straight-laced boy attracted solely to women. Without getting off on a religious tangent, presumably your religion would frown upon you having any sort of sexual relations at your age, regardless of gender. If you're genuinely concerned with the religious ramifications, be penitent and ask for forgiveness.

That being said, I personally think religion isn't the issue.

I disagree. I'm an atheist and I still find homosexuality wrong.

This thread is not about gay acceptance. Lets not turn it into one. I think we should focus on the situation instead of the gay community as a whole.

[BilltheButcher]

It doesn't condone binge drinking and disobeying your parents either. How guilty do you feel for that? I think you're focusing on someting that's popular currently to focus on. Take it in perspective- you didn't do anything worse than you typically do.

Do you think his parents would be more angry about him getting drunk or having sex with another man?

I am assuming the latter. Since it sounds he comes from a religious family. I just hope he isn't one of these guys brainwashed into thinking he must be one thing, when inside he wants to be with men. No reason to go through life being something you aren't.

[TwiloMike]

Do you think his parents would be more angry about him getting drunk or having sex with another man?

I am assuming the latter. Since it sounds he comes from a religious family. I just hope he isn't one of these guys brainwashed into thinking he must be one thing, when inside he wants to be with men. No reason to go through life being something you aren't.

I don't think it matter what would upset his parents more. One of the 10 Commandments is to honor the parents, and I doubt that it's with their blessing that he got hammered at 18.

[Sensei]

Is this thread a joke? Are you just bored, or what?

Feels almost like I deceived God.

Somehow, I doubt you put one past Him...

[Jordanbcool]

I'm sorry but no matter how drunk I was I would NEVER slip it to another guy.

In all serious-ness I would rethink your sexual preferences. This is something you need to put some thought into. But if you decide your still straight I wouldn't tell anyone ever again for the rest of your life.

Do you remember what happened? Or is it more of a dream type memory?

[phreak]

That being said, if you do like guys and you also like chicks, I"d vote for going after chicks because it will cause a lot less stress and drama in your life and you will get to avoid heinous conversations with family.

Truth. Not showing your true feelings to the outside world is far easier. But since when is something easy something worthwhile?

[sharkall2003]

I've never had an experience like this, but I have found both men and women to be emotionally attractive. Only women sexually attractive though. I think intelligence, strength and power are great qualities. I find those attractive in anyone. But you either are or are not gay.

[Alex.V]

But you either are or are not gay.

Bull****.



To the OP-

Don't worry about it, man. Nothing to feel guilty about. Nobody's judging you, nobody's got the right to judge you. In the scheme of things, if that's the only skeleton in your closet, you're doing better than most.

If you look in the mirror, are you content with who you are? If so, then what you got to worry about.

Are you gay?

WHO ****ING CARES? It's not like you need to file your sexuality and can't have it sitting out there with any level of indecision. Humans are not robots. Nobody understands themselves, nobody completely understands human nature, and nobody completely understands brain chemistry. You can't pigeon-hole every aspect of human interaction.


So don't worry about it. You did what you did, suffered no ill effects, and seem to be carrying on just fine.

That said... dude... damn. How much did you drink??

[greekboy80]

Bull****.



To the OP-

Don't worry about it, man. Nothing to feel guilty about. Nobody's judging you, nobody's got the right to judge you. In the scheme of things, if that's the only skeleton in your closet, you're doing better than most.

If you look in the mirror, are you content with who you are? If so, then what you got to worry about.

Are you gay?

WHO ****ING CARES? It's not like you need to file your sexuality and can't have it sitting out there with any level of indecision. Humans are not robots. Nobody understands themselves, nobody completely understands human nature, and nobody completely understands brain chemistry. You can't pigeon-hole every aspect of human interaction.


So don't worry about it. You did what you did, suffered no ill effects, and seem to be carrying on just fine.

That said... dude... damn. How much did you drink??

Agreed,

Who really cares? You are who you are. Dont be ashamed or guilty.

It is what it is, you cant change it. Accept it, and move on.

[bill]

Agreed,

Who really cares? You are who you are. Dont be ashamed or guilty.

It is what it is, you cant change it. Accept it, and move on.

I was about to say, It is what it is!

[tangerine dream]

At the end of the day don't listen to any advice (except for Belials on the first page) you get from a weightlifting forum; go on a camping trip by yourself and meditate or something.

Look on the brightside.. You'd be a shoe-in on MTV's Real World. They would love to have you on their show so that they could room you with a gay guy and create lots of DRAMA!!!

[TwiloMike]

I've never had an experience like this, but I have found both men and women to be emotionally attractive. Only women sexually attractive though. I think intelligence, strength and power are great qualities. I find those attractive in anyone. But you either are or are not gay.

I think that there isn't such a clear distinction as "either gay or straight". I agree with Built that most people are some degree of bisexual, some very predominantly homo, some very predominantly hetero, and thus it's just simpler to discount the nearly insignificant "other" leanings, but in the right circumstances the "other" side can come out.

[getfit]

Do you see this person ever?

[deeder]

Did you like it?