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Thread: New form of Entertainment in Corporate America.The "Dignity Ditch".

  1. #1
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    New form of Entertainment in Corporate America.The "Dignity Ditch".

    Well.. you've all had those bad days.....or maybe were a little groggy and under the weather, and need a little lift...

    I just happened upon the greatest mood lifter since beginning my working life...

    We've all done this; You walk into the bathroom to unleash the beast from within and someone comes walking in. You hold on for just a second until they leave... and release hell,tears and sweat praying noone comes in. to accidentally bear witness to the fecal armageddon you've bestowed upon the planet.

    Well. I was a little tired today and perhaps a tad goofy from the puppy keeping me up all night..

    I took a leak and washed my hands when this guy rushes in. Picks a stall and plunks his ass down. Now it's quiet. Really quiet. I think to myself: "I bet this is going to be a porcelain catastrophe and he's waiting for me to leave"

    I do the unthinkable. I walk over to the door,open it but remain inside. Giving this man his Pseudo privacy. The door shuts.

    "HRRRRRRNNNNHHHHHHHH!!." BLOOSH! TTHHBBBPPPPPPTTTTTT!!!!!!
    "UH...whoooooooo" "Whooo Damn..!!"

    I exploded with Hysterical Laughter and skidaddled... I'm still laughing with tears in my eyes.... not for what I heard.... but for this simple fact.

    For the rest of this man's days for WHICHever company he works for, he's going to wonder to himself... "WHO IN THE HELL WAS IN THAT BATHROOM??!!"
    And no Work poop will ever be the same.
    Last edited by Hatred; 11-07-2007 at 10:50 AM.
    Out of the night that covers me,Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In The fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
    Twitter: @joshuagbsn Follow me as I laugh at the world, and you.

  2. #2
    WBB's Juggernaut/Liason BigCorey75's Avatar
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    HA HA HA lmao.....


    thats classic


    its funny cause its true...
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  3. #3
    cakin Cirino83's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


    you know I've thought about opening the door and closing it for the exact reason, but my bathroom is small and you can peer through the cracks of the stalls and see the door and know if someone is still there. This is perfect timing, as I just finished waiting for someone to leave to let my breakfast burrito fly.

  4. #4
    SFW! drew's Avatar
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    That's awesome.

    Stats: Age: 34 Weight: 205 Height: 5'6"
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  5. #5
    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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    awesome, Ive done that so many times..if I cant hold it I just put my finger in my ears and squeeze real hard so at least I wont hear anything my self and pretend its all not happening.

    And btw post a picture of the puppy!
    A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.

  6. #6
    As I Am Paul Stagg's Avatar
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    that's funny as hell. I literally laughed out loud.

    I can't wait to try it.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Jorge Sanchez's Avatar
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    That's the funniest thing I've read on the internet in a long time.

  8. #8
    Just watch me ... Built's Avatar
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    Yep. It's as I long suspected. Josh is a five year old boy trapped in the body of an incredibly hot man.

    Dangerous combination.

  9. #9
    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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    Built, taking a major chocolate fudge dump at a work place is a grown mans arena. No place for little kids, the smell alone would kill them and they dont have the necessarry force to squeeze a trucker like that out, let alone the skills to hold it in while the other guy is washing his hands.

    Its actually quite serious.
    A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.

  10. #10
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Stagg View Post
    that's funny as hell. I literally laughed out loud.

    I can't wait to try it.
    LOL!!! I knew that would be the result too. all kindsa folks will start doing it...
    I discovered this....I must name it.....hmmmmm...


    AHHHAAAAAAAAHAAA!!!!! I have it!!!!

    The "Dignity Ditch!"
    Out of the night that covers me,Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In The fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
    Twitter: @joshuagbsn Follow me as I laugh at the world, and you.

  11. #11
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rock View Post
    Built, taking a major chocolate fudge dump at a work place is a grown mans arena. No place for little kids, the smell alone would kill them and they dont have the necessarry force to squeeze a trucker like that out, let alone the skills to hold it in while the other guy is washing his hands.

    Its actually quite serious.
    I am constantly amazed that English is a second language for you.
    I voted Excellent...lol... I love me.
    Last edited by Hatred; 11-07-2007 at 03:45 PM.
    Out of the night that covers me,Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In The fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
    Twitter: @joshuagbsn Follow me as I laugh at the world, and you.

  12. #12
    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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    Hehe English is a beautiful language and it is spescially good when it comes to finding suitable adjectives for what happens in the toilet.

    Norwegian is to boring for that, its all about skiing and snow here.

    Anyways, loudly pushing a fudgedog out of the hatchet and not knowing that there is infact another man in the room is a big blow to ones dignity, and a great ninjaship shown by the man who stood silent in the shadows and listened.
    A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.

  13. #13
    cakin Cirino83's Avatar
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    ^^ I also voted excellent. Man you should patent that move. From now on when I need a good laugh I'm doing the dignity ditch

  14. #14
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    I listed it in the Urban Dictionary...lol
    Out of the night that covers me,Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In The fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
    Twitter: @joshuagbsn Follow me as I laugh at the world, and you.

  15. #15
    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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    Having and completing a dump at work is really satisfying, especially if you get the toilet for yourself and you get good time to enjoy it.

    I always feel like doing the Heather Locklear dance after Ive done that good ole work dump. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HRSr8QuMxQ
    Last edited by Rock; 11-07-2007 at 05:33 PM.
    A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.

  16. #16
    TJW Keith's Avatar
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    That's awesome.
    Age: 24 Height: 5'9" Weight: 185

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  17. #17
    Breaker of Skulls Guido's Avatar
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    Fantastic. I'm so glad, though, that at my work it's only a single stall bathroom and that you can lock the door so nobody else can use it. I'm also glad I don't work with YOU.
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  18. #18
    Breaker of Skulls Guido's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rock View Post
    Anyways, loudly pushing a fudgedog out of the hatchet and not knowing that there is infact another man in the room is a big blow to ones dignity, and a great ninjaship shown by the man who stood silent in the shadows and listened.
    Your command over the English language is brilliant.
    5'9" 195 lbs
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    "Most people don't want to learn new things. They only want to hear about things that validate crap they're already doing." - Mike Boyle

  19. #19
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    "Work" with me really isn't though. I'm a delight.
    Out of the night that covers me,Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In The fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
    Twitter: @joshuagbsn Follow me as I laugh at the world, and you.

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