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Thread: lost girlfriend of 5 years

  1. #26
    O.K....not really mesmall's Avatar
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    Lots of up's and down's are not good for a relationship. Best to be moving along before it is too late.
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  2. #27
    Bmx Bandit McBain's Avatar
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    im real sorry to hear that, hope its not too hard for things to move on.
    'you cant avoid confrontation in life. it just makes things more trouble down the road. sometimes you have to look at the bull and say "f--k you bull" and grab that bull by the horns'

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  3. #28
    Equal Opportunity Offender Budiak's Avatar
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    My last girl broke up with me one week before valentines day. I'm still not over the period of time where every time someone speaks of her or you see her in a picture I turn green and start flipping cars, but I hopefully will be soon.

    Funny...I move back home and expect her to be happy. Instead, she breaks up with me as a nice coming home present. Fancy that. She said that she wouldnt be able to spend as much time with me as I wanted to, now that I am not in school and was currently unemployed. How insulting that she didn't think I'd go back to school, or try to find a job. Anyways, she was really quiet, and apparently was unhappy the entire time we were going out, even though I was under the impression that everything was fine, and that I was in the best relationship of my life. Even though I made it absolutely clear that she could tell me anything and not worry, that all I wanted was for her to be happy, she held it aaaaaaalllll in until one day she just broke up with me, like a guillotine. Homes, at least you guys were going through a rough time in your relationship, dig? I had no freakin clue. She thought that by just breaking up with me (over the phone), she would end all of her problems. Wrong. She said she wanted to be friends, but I told her than I wont be her friend, because I hold my friends to higher standards. She goes to her friend's house crying, and sobbing for hours on end about what she's lost, and expects her to be consoling. In reality, her best friend agreed fully with the decision I made, and she is getting absolutely no sympathy from anybody. Nobody knew about it until she did it. No warning, nothing.

    Try laying that on someone. Trust me folks, even her best friend in the world thinks I did the right thing.

    Anyways, Doc, dont worry. At least you got a bit of warning before it happened.

  4. #29
    bone crusher
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    damn budiak-
    yea i was kinda like you though. I thought everything was great. We were going to meet at a cabin for a nice getaway in west virginia (she did not follow me like she was supposed to). We got split up and i tried to find her, but damn near impossible. I drove back here, after trying to find her for 2 hours in west virginia. She called here at my apartment. I immediately drove back up. I thought everything was cool- then she didn't want me to touch her. I told her if she has a problem she should tell me about it. She wouldn't talk to me. Three weeks later i get that call

    tryska your right i am relieved and fuking pissed at the same time. I am relieved in that i at least know where she stands but i still dont know what the hell is/went wrong. Like i said, she has serious issues, but i loved her.

  5. #30
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    you know what always helps me- a busting ass gym session
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  6. #31
    Banned Reinier's Avatar
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    i never had a relationship end and im not currently in one lol

  7. #32
    Porn Star YatesNightBlade's Avatar
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    With your Party Tricks .... you don't need a woman.
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  8. #33
    Geordie The_Chicken_Daddy's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that, Mark. You deserve better.
    "Geordie/'d3c:di/n. & adj. Brit colloq. n. 1 a native of Tyneside. 2 the dialect spoken on Tyneside. adj. of or relating to Tyneside, its people, or its dialect. [the name George + -IE]

  9. #34
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    doc..remember tho..her issues are her own to deal. apparently she didn't want to share what they may be, and that's her loss. she just freed you up for something better, and also, made you a better man for the next one. i kinda believe that your relationship should be your haven from stress and strife, not the cause of it.
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  10. #35
    bone crusher
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    thanks again everyone. I'll definitely move on. Like y'all said, the next one will be better!

    i'm not that upset anymore because i felt this coming on when she closed up on me. I've had 3 weeks to prepare for it. THe night before we talked i had trouble sleeping because i knew what the following day would hold. Funny you mentioned that tryska, as she said it was causing her to much stress and she already has periodic depressive moods.



    ALso, THERE'S NO DOUBT THAT I WILL CHANNEL ALL THIS FRUSTRATION ANGER ANXIETY INTO THE IRON (yes i am yelling) IT TAKES IT AND IS READY FOR MORE!!

  11. #36
    Administrator chris mason's Avatar
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    I think it is now time to think of the positives here. First, you didn't get married, so you don't have to get a divorce. Second, I am assuming you don't have any kids together, so you are not affecting other lives. Third, you can't change someone (only they can change themselves, and that is extremely unlikely). Thus, if there are things about the realtionship you cannot deal with, it is better to cut things off before reasons 1 & 2 happen.

    Now, one last piece of advice, if you are going to end things, be decisive about it. Do not let this relationship linger in limbo for the next several years. If you do, you are wasting your time and hers, and possibly cheating yourself out of finding a more suitable partner.

    Ok, one last thing. You will never, and I repeat never, find someone who is perfect. Perfection in a partner is a myth, and one which many people aspire to which is the cause of many relationship problems in life. At some point or another, you will be unhappy with your partner. This does not mean it is time to cut off the realtionship. That being said, if you are unmarried and feel that the problems are overbearing, then I again suggest you end things before they progress to a point where it is much more hurtful and difficult to do so.

  12. #37
    Administrator chris mason's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Tryska
    doc..remember tho..her issues are her own to deal. apparently she didn't want to share what they may be, and that's her loss. she just freed you up for something better, and also, made you a better man for the next one. i kinda believe that your relationship should be your haven from stress and strife, not the cause of it.

    No offense here, but that is the impossible dream. The reason that domestic violence is one of the nastiest crimes for police is because of the fact that these sort of relationships are the most intimate. There is more invested in this sort of relationship than any ( except for parent-child relations) other. When there is a great degree of intimacy, and personal involvement, the stress involved with problems gets magnified (what is worse than a messy divorce?). Of course, if problems are the norm, that is something all together different, but to say or assume that your and your partner's lives will always be a rosy fortress of protection is idealistic. My point here is that I feel those kind of sentiments are at the root of today's high divorce rates.

  13. #38
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    well no..i prolly should elaborate.....when i say the haven from stress and strife, i mean...there should always be communication. yeah y'all willg et on each others nerves, but you need to feel open enough to talk it out. there shouldn't ever be a question about whether one is committed to the other and both have ot be willing to sort stuff out within the relationship as it comes up. does that make more sense?
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  14. #39
    bone crusher
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    chris, i was thinking about that... those things you listed. Your right we weren't married and no kids. I just can't stand it when she wont talk to me. I was like that when she first met me. I wouldn't talk about things that made me upset. She helped me to overcome that tendancy and now i am very open. Now she is doing that same thing back to me. the very thing she hated so much.
    Last edited by the doc; 03-12-2002 at 07:18 AM.

  15. #40
    Administrator chris mason's Avatar
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    Have you mentioned that exact fact to her in a calm fashion? Does she realize that she is doing to you what she used to hate having done to her? If so, and she does nothing about it, well, that is a tough one.


    Tryska, that sounds better, yes.

  16. #41
    Baby Seal Clubber ElPietro's Avatar
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    Pfft! Doc your a good guy, don't worry about it. Besides...now when you become a real Doc you can hit on your patients and stuff...

    the doc: *rubs hands together*

    the doc: Ok off with your shirt now.

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  17. #42
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    'Tis the season to have relationship troubles... Every year about this time, people get relationship troubles, it seems. A lot more than normal I think anyways. So many of my friends have either split up with their partners or are having troubles right now. I don't know if it's some sort of spring fever that comes over couples or what.

    Anyways, sorry to hear about the troubles doc. Regardless of how good the break up is for you in the long run, I know it still stings now and it will for a while. You have something to look forward to though - when that day comes that you realize you HAVEN'T been thinking about her all day, you are officially moving on and getting over it. THAT is the best feeling. I usually find that getting out and talking to females and getting numbers helps me forget a lot quicker. Usually, the first couple weeks after a breakup, I become a total dog. Maybe that's why me ex's are so pissed at me... Just kidding, some of them don't hate me. lol
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  18. #43
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    well i gotta friend who says "the best way to get over a dead dog is a new dog."

    take that however you want to...*lol*
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  19. #44
    MACHINE
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    Are you suggesting he kill her? Damn, first dead corpses in your freezer, now this...
    "He's the best damn rollerskater that ever lived...probably in the whole town" - Chris Pontius

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  20. #45
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    *lmao* i was expecting something twisted from you. no i meant go out and have a reboudn, make sure they know it's nothing serious and to not get that way, and then commence with the healing.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  21. #46
    MACHINE
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    Oh... then yeah, I agree
    "He's the best damn rollerskater that ever lived...probably in the whole town" - Chris Pontius

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  22. #47
    Senior Member hemants's Avatar
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    In my experience all relationships involve some degree of mutual therapy. But you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself.

    G'luck Doc, it'll get better.
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  23. #48
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    Originally posted by Tryska
    well no..i prolly should elaborate.....when i say the haven from stress and strife, i mean...there should always be communication. yeah y'all willg et on each others nerves, but you need to feel open enough to talk it out. there shouldn't ever be a question about whether one is committed to the other and both have ot be willing to sort stuff out within the relationship as it comes up. does that make more sense?

    Exactly. You shuold marry the one person you can trust not to stab you in the back when everything else in your life has suddenly turned to crap. The reason there is so much damned domestic violence is because a lot of people out there never learned how to respect another human being, and because they confuse love with that tingly feeling between their legs.

    Love is great. Marriage is wonderful I'm sure. It's not always rosy, but what the heck is?
    There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back.

  24. #49
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    Oh Doc, the one thing I learned is that the best way to get over her is to post naked pics of her on the web
    There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back.

  25. #50
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    Originally posted by aikigreg



    The reason there is so much damned domestic violence is because a lot of people out there never learned how to respect another human being, and because they confuse love with that tingly feeling between their legs.

    amen. preach it brother!
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

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