I had to get my first suit last week for a job interview this Wednesday. I've never worn or owned a suit before so this whole looking nice thing is new to me. A few things I noticed;

1) I look damn good in a suit. This comes as no suprise to me, because I look damn good in general.

2) Suits are made for fat people (general population). The guy at the store had to give me a huge ****ing jacket just to fit my shoulders. Even though they took the waist in, it could still come in much much more.

3) I have no ****ing clue how to tie a tie. I had to take a test in fire school where we had to tie a total of 20 different knots blindfolded. I got 20 out of 20 in half of the allowed time. However, give me 3 hours, a step by step picture of how to tie a tie, and the thing still looks like ****.

4) Suits are expensive.

5) I wish Carhartt made suits. They would look nice as well as being functional. They would have a hammer loop and many utility pockets on the pants. This way I could wear my suit to work.

This is where I need help. The shirt had a large band around it that said 'NON-IRON'. How the **** do you get the wrinkles out?