The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Its no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Senior Member wontstop's Avatar
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    Something that i wasn't expecting happened... help?

    Alright so I am a freshman college, and I'm going to school with this girl who I have known since fourth grade. Like we are best friends basically and she is dating my friend who I have known since like 7th or 8th grade. We've been at school for about 8 weeks now and we hang out all the time. Like we've had some of the deepest conversations I've ever had with anyone, and I've told her things that I hadn't told anyone else, and she's told me things that she says only her boyfriend knows; so I mean we've become really close. The problem is I've fallen for her, pretty bad. We hang out all the time together whether it is the weekend or just a week night, and I know I am not jumping to conclusions because I've thought this over for about two to three weeks now. Her boyfriend goes to school about three hours away, and I am really good friends with him too, and I know she doesn't feel the same way I do because she has told me she thinks he is the one for her(they have been dating for about three-four yrs). Plus she told me the other night that she thinks she might act too flirty around me(which she does, sometimes) and just wanted me to make sure I knew she wasn't leading me on, which I said yeah I know that to. Anyways, does anyone have any advice, I've fallen pretty bad for her, I enjoy her company, and I dont know, there is just something about her that I never really noticed, because we didnt hang out near as much back home as we do now. So do I tell her? Let it go? I mean right now neither of those options sounds appealling to me b/c i know she prolly doesn't feel the same way, and plus it'll just be really awkward and I lose possibly the best true friend I've ever had in my life. Yet on the other hand not telling her is killing me on the inside. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated, I'm just so lost, and really didn't expect this to happen(not that I think it's a bad thing).
    18 yrs old
    176 lbs

    Just looking to build muscle, not too worried about being cut

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  3. #2
    Tap, Rack, Bacon ncsuLuke's Avatar
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    there is a reason the quote bro's before ho's is so popular

  4. #3
    Senior Member wontstop's Avatar
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    I know, i don't wanna do anything that would ruin any relationship I have with either him or her, but I mean... keeping it inside is starting to really suck.
    18 yrs old
    176 lbs

    Just looking to build muscle, not too worried about being cut

  5. #4
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    Let it go. you can still be friends and all that stuff, but she is with this guy and is dead set on it.






    however, she is a freshman in college. give her a year or two and see if she changes her mind, but don't force it.

  6. #5
    Westside Bencher Travis Bell's Avatar
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    LOL true

    wontstop, you need to stop hanging out with her and talking about things that you wouldn't tell anyone else. From here on its your fault for how much you get hurt because you know for a fact that she doesn't feel the same way so you're just putting yourself out there for no good reason. Being friends is cool, you just don't put yourself out there as much and start looking for other girls. She's not your best friend if she flirts with you and doesn't expect you do respond to it. She's also just not your best friend, you just feel that she is because you're emotionally attached to her given all the things you've told her. Best thing to do is force yourself to move on. Its a no win situation all the way around.


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  7. #6
    SchModerator ZenMonkey's Avatar
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    I say be open with her and him.
    Sarvamangalam!

  8. #7
    Senior Member McLaughlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Travis Bell View Post
    LOL true

    wontstop, you need to stop hanging out with her and talking about things that you wouldn't tell anyone else. From here on its your fault for how much you get hurt because you know for a fact that she doesn't feel the same way so you're just putting yourself out there for no good reason. Being friends is cool, you just don't put yourself out there as much and start looking for other girls. She's not your best friend if she flirts with you and doesn't expect you do respond to it. She's also just not your best friend, you just feel that she is because you're emotionally attached to her given all the things you've told her. Best thing to do is force yourself to move on. Its a no win situation all the way around.
    /agree

    Trying not to die young.

  9. #8
    Senior Member wontstop's Avatar
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    thnks guys, yeah prolly will just have to move on, i just hate giving up on anything in life, what do i do with the thing in the back of my mind that always is saying "what if?"
    18 yrs old
    176 lbs

    Just looking to build muscle, not too worried about being cut

  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by wontstop View Post
    thnks guys, yeah prolly will just have to move on, i just hate giving up on anything in life, what do i do with the thing in the back of my mind that always is saying "what if?"
    kill it.

    I kinda went though the same thing knowing there was absolutely no shot in hell and it was much better because i still have that great friendship. its a little scaled back but neither one of us is awkward or anything because it never came up.

    Trust me, you'll get over it. esp if you find another girl. Just do what travis suggested and do other things and not spend so much time with her. I'm sure its great and easy and all, but youll find other rewarding things in life (esp in college!!!!!) to focus your attention on and help get her off your mind in this way.

  11. #10
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    What if what? You get with a girl you like? You'll like just about any girl that's good looking and likes you. It's hormones dude. This isn't some amazing opportunity you're missing out on.

  12. #11
    Likes to lick windows bigred1974's Avatar
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    your what if doesnt exist anywhere but with you. If you cant be just a friend you need to back off or move on. all your going to do is ruin 2 friendships and feel like an ass if you try anything. find your own girl to share your thoughts and feelings with. not to sound too mean but seriously its a total dick move if you do anything
    6-6 288 lbs 33 yo 20 % bodyfat



    Don't you ****ing dare, woman. He needs to keep batting for the pink team so he can keep dispensing fashion advice and such. If you cure him, he turns into a regular color blind tard-ass tripod-Viking-- this was regarding TwiloMike. RIP guy.

    Im gona have to start wearing wrist wraps just to wipe lol- Hatred

  13. #12
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    I completly agree w/ bigred 100% stay away and find your own. We always want what we can't have, but don't be that guy.
    |A:26 | H:6'5'' | W:198| GW: 215|
    Stats: Start | Current | Goal
    Bench: 135lb |170lb| 225lb
    Squat: 135lb |185lb| 225lb
    Dead: 180 |185lb| 315lb
    OH Press: 85lb |100lb| 150lb
    (all 3 x 5 reps)


  14. #13
    Senior Member deeder's Avatar
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    No one else her thinks that this girls wants him???

    Seriously, she is telling you things that "only her boyfriend knows", and saying she thinks she flirts with you too much. I don't care what she says about the other guy, I say she is just putting out feelers to see your reaction. I'm not saying she wants to leave this guy for you, but I definitely thinks she's craving the cock.

    I bet if you started putting the moves on her she'd go with it. At the same time, if it was that other guy, I'd kick your ass if you did it. So, what do you value more? Your frienship or your dick? If you go for this girl, you'll lose your friendship and her eventually because you'll never trust her because you'll know she's the type that cheats.

    Here's another vote for run away from this girl. You'll find nothing but trouble if you keep up the relationsip the way its going.
    Full Powerlifting
    Squat - 595lbs -- 270kg -- Dec. 31, '09 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Bench - 374lbs -- 170kg -- Dec 20, '08 (@100kg class)
    Dead - 589lbs -- 267.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Total: 1537lbs -- 697.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)
    Bench Only -- 358lbs -- 162.5kg -- Nov. 25, '07 (Provincial Record @ 90kg class)
    Bench Only -- 376lbs -- 171kg -- Jan. 26, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)

  15. #14
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    Yeah this chick is definitely an attention whore as most are. She is doing the same thing to 50 other guys you don't even know about, and probably has about 12 intenet boyfriends she sends naked pictures to.

  16. #15
    Ash "Money" Hegde Y2A's Avatar
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    Get away quick, or, stay in love with her forever and never be happy. Your choice
    "We fight our battles, we wage our wars, we settle the score, with honor and blood" - Atreyu

    Dontate to my favorite charity!

  17. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by deeder View Post
    No one else her thinks that this girls wants him???

    Seriously, she is telling you things that "only her boyfriend knows", and saying she thinks she flirts with you too much. I don't care what she says about the other guy, I say she is just putting out feelers to see your reaction. I'm not saying she wants to leave this guy for you, but I definitely thinks she's craving the cock.

    I bet if you started putting the moves on her she'd go with it. At the same time, if it was that other guy, I'd kick your ass if you did it. So, what do you value more? Your frienship or your dick? If you go for this girl, you'll lose your friendship and her eventually because you'll never trust her because you'll know she's the type that cheats.

    Here's another vote for run away from this girl. You'll find nothing but trouble if you keep up the relationsip the way its going.
    She might like him....Then again her bf is far away and she's probably craving attention.

  18. #17
    ANVIL POWER Detard's Avatar
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    I would tell her exactly how you feel, then say that you have to stop seeing her because it will never workout while she is dating that other guy. That way you got it off your chest, cleaned your closet, and can move on.
    w:225lbs. h:5'10.
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  19. #18
    Senior Member wontstop's Avatar
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    I wasnt gonna do anything that would be a dick move I just needed to know what to do bc i have never been in this situation and wanted some thoughts on what the repercussions would be of my options. I appreciate it though, thanks guys
    18 yrs old
    176 lbs

    Just looking to build muscle, not too worried about being cut

  20. #19
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    3 hours away you say?

    Different area codes. Go for it.

  21. #20
    Senior Member deeder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrettC View Post
    3 hours away you say?

    Different area codes. Go for it.
    And if you were the guy 3 hours away?
    Full Powerlifting
    Squat - 595lbs -- 270kg -- Dec. 31, '09 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Bench - 374lbs -- 170kg -- Dec 20, '08 (@100kg class)
    Dead - 589lbs -- 267.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Total: 1537lbs -- 697.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)
    Bench Only -- 358lbs -- 162.5kg -- Nov. 25, '07 (Provincial Record @ 90kg class)
    Bench Only -- 376lbs -- 171kg -- Jan. 26, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)

  22. #21
    ANVIL POWER Detard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrettC View Post
    3 hours away you say?

    Different area codes. Go for it.
    "I got hoes.... i got hoesss.... In different area coooodes.....AREA CODES..."
    w:225lbs. h:5'10.
    630/385/545/1560
    Journal | Vids

    "im ready for the ladies too, my stomach has never been bigger and ive never been hairier." - Stumprrp

    TJW

  23. #22
    Senior Member BFGUITAR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Detard View Post
    "I got hoes.... i got hoesss.... In different area coooodes.....AREA CODES..."
    Lol your crazy.

    Don't go for it. If the relationship doesnt work out than that's too bad for you. If the relationship ends move in.

    Don't screw up something good for them, it's an ******* selfish move.

  24. #23
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    .blah
    Last edited by Beholder; 10-14-2008 at 09:07 PM.
    My sig scared getfit.

  25. #24
    Determined jAy_Dub's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deeder View Post
    No one else her thinks that this girls wants him???

    Seriously, she is telling you things that "only her boyfriend knows", and saying she thinks she flirts with you too much. I don't care what she says about the other guy, I say she is just putting out feelers to see your reaction. I'm not saying she wants to leave this guy for you, but I definitely thinks she's craving the cock.

    I bet if you started putting the moves on her she'd go with it. At the same time, if it was that other guy, I'd kick your ass if you did it. So, what do you value more? Your frienship or your dick? If you go for this girl, you'll lose your friendship and her eventually because you'll never trust her because you'll know she's the type that cheats.

    Here's another vote for run away from this girl. You'll find nothing but trouble if you keep up the relationsip the way its going.
    You nailed that one bro.

    How good of "friends" are you with her boyfriend? If you guys were semi close growing up, you deserve your ass beat. Any friend would never put themselves in the position to fall for their boy's girlfriend in the first place.

    Ahhh I just noticed you're only 17. Live and learn I guess. None of this is going to matter down the road anyway.


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  26. #25
    Senior Member wontstop's Avatar
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    haha im actually 19 i just havent updated taht in a while... yeah so i realize taht ive screwed it up but i honestly didn't plan for this to happen. I'm just gonna try and forget about it, i know it would be selfish to tell them, so i just wont worry about it i guess and just try to forget it.
    18 yrs old
    176 lbs

    Just looking to build muscle, not too worried about being cut

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