The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    My best friend disappeared about a year ago..

    Not like he was abducted, but he ceased speaking to anyone from our home town. He's in the Air Force, an he had a long distance relationship with a girl we've known since even before high school. He had had a crush on her for years and they finally started dating and she broke it off because of the distance. After that he never really wanted to come home anymore, especially because neither of us really liked our group of friends that much. But he at least used to talk to me all the time, and then I noticed it getting less and less; then it stopped altogether. Won't return phone calls, deleted his facebook account, etc.

    The reason I am telling you all this is that his younger sister told me in confidence that he will be home the 31st-4th. Should I try to confront him about this? I will admit, sometimes I probably dumped way too many of my problems on him. But I would've considered him family. I can honestly say in my life he's the only person I would really call my friend, or so I thought. I just want an explanation as to why he suddenly decided he no longer wanted to be my friend. Is it unreasonable to think of going over there and demanding his reasoning?
    23 y/o, 170 lbs

    Do you understand that the second you
    look in the mirror and you're happy with
    what you see, baby, you just
    lost the battle!

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  3. #2
    Senior Member deeder's Avatar
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    Instead of confronting him, why not just a friendly phone-call to say "Hello! I heard you were in town. How's life"
    Last edited by deeder; 12-28-2008 at 11:18 PM.
    Full Powerlifting
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    Bench - 374lbs -- 170kg -- Dec 20, '08 (@100kg class)
    Dead - 589lbs -- 267.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Total: 1537lbs -- 697.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)
    Bench Only -- 358lbs -- 162.5kg -- Nov. 25, '07 (Provincial Record @ 90kg class)
    Bench Only -- 376lbs -- 171kg -- Jan. 26, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)

  4. #3
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    Because he won't answer. Literally, the only way I have of contacting him would be to show up at his parent's house, and even that would be a maybe.
    23 y/o, 170 lbs

    Do you understand that the second you
    look in the mirror and you're happy with
    what you see, baby, you just
    lost the battle!

  5. #4
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    Idk man, I got lots of friends in my town but if I was exploring different places and my gift dumped me like that, honestly I'd wanna get away too. I dont think you should take it personally, but after all that ****, someones gotta do what they gotta do for themselves. Personally, I would probably do exactly what hes doing now tho, and not to put anything on u or any other friends he has, but its just that his lifes been changing and hes probably caught up in it.

    i would say you should confront him because if you cant confront ur "best friend", that doesnt speak much for ur friendship.
    but, i wouldnt attack him or call him out. i would hang out and see what happens or bring it up after u get past the regular stuff.
    he knows what he did so im sure if u call him, he'll explain or tell u why or tell u what hes been up to.

    remember yo, hes ur friend and **** happens in peoples lives. ur the only person on earths whos life will revolve around you. hope it helps, be good man

  6. #5
    Senior Member deeder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Altephor View Post
    Because he won't answer. Literally, the only way I have of contacting him would be to show up at his parent's house, and even that would be a maybe.
    Well if he really really doesn't want to talk to you then maybe it's just time to move on....
    Full Powerlifting
    Squat - 595lbs -- 270kg -- Dec. 31, '09 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Bench - 374lbs -- 170kg -- Dec 20, '08 (@100kg class)
    Dead - 589lbs -- 267.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Total: 1537lbs -- 697.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)
    Bench Only -- 358lbs -- 162.5kg -- Nov. 25, '07 (Provincial Record @ 90kg class)
    Bench Only -- 376lbs -- 171kg -- Jan. 26, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)

  7. #6
    ANVIL POWER Detard's Avatar
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    Show up to his house one afternoon and ask if he wants to go for a drink and some wings.
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  8. #7
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    I'd just try to call the parents house and ask for him. I've moved a couple times in high school and I can see where he is coming from. Sometimes is nice just to start over with a completely clean slate. I never flat out didn't answer emails or messages but I definitely didn't initiate any contact. "Confronting" him sounds like a real bad idea. Did he consider you his best friend?
    Last edited by Tumbler; 12-29-2008 at 08:11 AM.

  9. #8
    Senior Member Jorge Sanchez's Avatar
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    I think deeder`s advice is really spot on on both counts. Don't try to confront him. A friendly "Hello. How are you doing? Do you want to grab a coffee/beer and catch up?" would be nice, but I don`t think calling him out is a good idea at all.

  10. #9
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    People move on constantly in their lives, I've had plenty of really good friends that I've just lost contact with, it happens. With him being in the military, he's made a bunch of new friends that are going through the same experience he is and that he can relate to. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to get in contact with him and seeing if he wants to go out for drinks, but confronting him is pretty much pointless. At best, he'll apologize for something he can't change, at worst, he'll want even less to do with you. You could say you should keep in touch more often, putting it on both of you to stay in contact, but it really sounds like he's just moved on to a new life. Sucks, but this won't be the last time that happens.

  11. #10
    Lifting addict powerboy93's Avatar
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    well I rlly dont have much life exp over these 15 yrs lol but it happens all the time in school. a group of guys who you screw around with in class, throw stuff /make jokes and all that good stuff, they seem like rlly good friends but then summer comes and the next yr they dont even know who you are. Happens every year.
    Lifting is my life

    I am 15
    @ 155 lbs

  12. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jorge Sanchez View Post
    I think deeder`s advice is really spot on on both counts. Don't try to confront him. A friendly "Hello. How are you doing? Do you want to grab a coffee/beer and catch up?" would be nice, but I don`t think calling him out is a good idea at all.
    Sorry I didn't mean confront him like yell at him or anything, I meant more like going over there and trying to talk to him.
    23 y/o, 170 lbs

    Do you understand that the second you
    look in the mirror and you're happy with
    what you see, baby, you just
    lost the battle!

  13. #12
    Back in business WBBIRL's Avatar
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    Ask him if he wants to go out drinking for a little.

    If he tells you no, then just consider it a final goodbye.

    I've lost touch with a few people, and I'm fairly sure that in a few months anothers moving out of my life for good but life does happen. Sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for bad and sometimes even for no reason it would seem.

  14. #13
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    losing people is no big deal, you meet new ones everyday
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

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    6'2"
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  15. #14
    Soon to be Soldier Pitbull3291's Avatar
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    kick his ass
    385 Deadlift
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    "First 3 Lifts all in 1 day (1000lb club)"

    Weight: 140lbs Height: 5'4 Age: 17

  16. #15
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    lol he obviously doesn't want to talk to you so stop being annoying and don't talk to him. I don't want to talk to anyone either, and the stupid social people just can't understand. It's as simple as that, he doesn't want to talk. Get over it.

  17. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous1 View Post
    lol he obviously doesn't want to talk to you so stop being annoying and don't talk to him. I don't want to talk to anyone either, and the stupid social people just can't understand. It's as simple as that, he doesn't want to talk. Get over it.
    I really hope this is sarcasm, if not, i could not disagree more. Go try to talk to him while he is home, if he blows you off then forget about it but it is worth one last shot at keeping a friendship IMO. Esp. if he was your best friend it is worth giving it one last shot, Like was already said go get a beer and some wings...
    6'2
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    "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." Ronnie Coleman

  18. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by NuclearArms View Post
    I really hope this is sarcasm, if not, i could not disagree more. Go try to talk to him while he is home, if he blows you off then forget about it but it is worth one last shot at keeping a friendship IMO. Esp. if he was your best friend it is worth giving it one last shot, Like was already said go get a beer and some wings...

    Probably a poor choice of words there but you get the idea
    6'2
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    Raw Bench- 420lbs

    "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." Ronnie Coleman

  19. #18
    TJW jed's Avatar
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    you could also put an emphasis on the 'wings' when you ask him, and tell him pun intended... and hope he smiles...

    i tried
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  20. #19
    Go Bears Pete22's Avatar
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    If beer and wings doesn't bring him back, nothing will. But seriously, sounds like you guys (or at least he has) have gone your separate ways. Just wish him the best and move on.
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  21. #20
    useful for something holmdog's Avatar
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    Everything about your friend has changed since joining the military. His habits, his friends, his humor, everything. I'll bet he doesn't even call his mother very often. He probably feels no ties to anything "old school", including you. This will likely change as time rolls on and he begins again to find value in family, old friends, etc.

    It happened to me, it happened to my brother and now I'm watching my oldest son go through the same "procedure". I want to say give your friend a call but the truth is, if he wants to hang, he knows where you are.

    At least for now, you would do well to find a new friend.

  22. #21
    Reborn hero Sinep's Avatar
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    Losing a friend can sometime feel like breaking up with a girl you love if the relationship is a close one. Your friend is probably more independent than you are and is able to move on to new things while you weren't quite as ready to go on your own. It happened to me as well when my good friend of childhood went a different way for university. That was a big change for me, at school we were always together hanging out everyday and then all of the sudden nothing... no calls, sometime he would send me emails to say what's up but that eventually ended too. I hated him at first for his behavior but now that I'm older we still call each other once in a while and it's cool. It might also happen that you had sexual interest in him and that deep inside you feel some of the things were left unsaid, if that's the case then you're on your own.
    "Damn, I'm looking good" -Duke Nukem
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  23. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinep View Post
    It might also happen that you had sexual interest in him and that deep inside you feel some of the things were left unsaid, if that's the case then you're on your own.



    lol seriously though this made me laugh my ass off.

  24. #23
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    lol you guys are amusing. It's like middle school.

    OK, the guy used to be friends with Altephor, now does not call and won't even return his calls. The long lost friend could easily get in touch, and chooses not to. So, your advice is to go to the guys house and offer him beer and wings? If you're lucky, he'll go, and then make sure not to talk to you again because you won't respect his privacy.

    He's not you friend. He's one of 2908129823 people, it's not this dramatic.

  25. #24
    Senior Member thoughtshewas18's Avatar
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    the guy wants to be left alone
    i bleed oil

    "but seriously dude georgeous women reside everywhere, go look and ****" - BigCorey75

  26. #25
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    No, anonymous, you're clearly misreading my intentions. I realize he no longer wishes to associate with me. I'm a little upset about that but I understand, in fact I've done it to people before myself. I would just like to ask him why this is. It's more curiousity than desperation.
    23 y/o, 170 lbs

    Do you understand that the second you
    look in the mirror and you're happy with
    what you see, baby, you just
    lost the battle!

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