I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
I'm too bland for German cars.
I am impotent.
I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.
My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.
I enjoy putting out engine fires
I thought the 4000s was too fast.
I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a well done steak by the time I arrive anywhere.
Buick Park Avenue
I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Buick Riviera Convertible
I'm not very smart, and I look like it too.
Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD 30-year old technology.
I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.
I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an uglified Chevrolet.
I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
I am a pimp.
I enjoy beating up people.
I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.
I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chrysler 5th Ave
Did the pushpins come free with the headliner?
I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.
I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.
I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
(See Dodge Dart)
I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.
I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol
I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.
I have just graduated and have no credit.
I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
I am fiercely independent, just like all my friends with Jeeps.
I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu.
Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.
Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.
I am dating a mechanic.
I don't know what it means either.
Mitsubishi Eclipse GST
Why accelerate? Because you can!
I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.
Peugeot 505 Diesel
I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can carry your car in my trunk as a spare.
I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans AM
I have a switchblade in my sock.
I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.
I think your car is ugly too.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
I think Pat Buchanan is a tad too liberal.
I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu.
I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys a challenge.
I am still in the closet.
I still watch Partridge Family reruns.
I am out of the closet.
VW Rabbit GTi
My mom won't let me buy a Porsche 'til I finish Algebra.
I stopped smoking pot when I got a real job after college. I swear.
I am tripping right now.
Volvo 740 Wagon
I am frightened of my wife.
Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and pull out in front of this guy to slow him down.