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Thread: 50 Reasons to Lift Big

  1. #1
    Strongman Tom Mutaffis's Avatar
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    50 Reasons to Lift Big

    50 Reasons to Lift Big Weights

    By Dave Tate

    Over the last few weeks, I’ve been working on rehabilitation to get my body ready
    for the next run. It made me think about what I might be missing out on. I’ve
    spent most of my life in pursuit of bigger weights and lifting. From well over 100
    meets, I’ve picked up a few things along the way.
    Ever since the article "Reasons to Get Big," I’ve been asked to write another one.
    Well, without any further introduction, here are my “50 Reasons to Lift Big
    Weights.”

    1. There’s nothing better than a selfinflicted nose bleed.

    2. Bloodshot eyes are better looking.

    3. It's the only time you can scream in Latin and everyone thinks that it's cool

    4. Wearing a beanie hat indoors is cool…well, maybe not.

    5. ****stained underwear is the mark of a great workout.

    6. Plates look better on the bar than they do in the rack.

    7. It’s the only time a cubic centimeter can make a huge difference.

    8. Being bloated is a good thing.

    9. A vein means you need to eat another Big Mac…or three.

    10.Bending cheap bars is an honor.

    11.Wearing tight polyester and canvas is better than spandex.

    12.One heavy repetition is much better than any set of ten.

    13.Strip sets are what you call taking off your squat suit. Sometimes you need a few spotters to get those final extra reps.

    14.Your definition of a good shirt isn’t a cotton silk blend with an alligator on it but a Metal logo with Velcro. Be careful—you may find yourself at your brother’s wedding pulling the front of your tux shirt down low and cinching your belt super tight to aid in the beer bong process.

    15.Rap has nothing to do with music but a special blend of rubber and cotton
    that can add more weight to your squat.

    16.Letters and numbers like AD, A50, D, V, GH, and TC all carry new meaning.

    17.A PR is to live and die for.

    18.A side stitch is what happens when you go to wipe your butt.

    19.A jolt is not a Cola.

    20.Blown blood vessels mean that you can still add more weight.

    21.Baldness is the new look.

    22.A bad back means that it’s time to get a reverse hyper machine.

    23.Any turd can superset concentration curls with one arm reverse grip
    supinated cable pressdowns.

    24.Board presses are a max effort movement, not reading the paper between
    sets of bench presses.

    25.Agility is bending over to get your ammonia caps out of your gym bag with
    your knee wraps on and suit straps up.

    26.Farting on your way to finishing a lift is known as doing whatever it takes to get the weight up.

    27.Taking a hockey bag full of gear into the gym makes you feel like a
    professional athlete. Funny thing is my bag is bigger than the football bag that I used to use to carry my helmet and shoulder pads. Then again, all I had to do was play ball. Now, I have to squat, bench press, and deadlift.

    28.A knobber is something you stick into your back to break up scar tissue.

    29.The incline bench is the perfect place to rest between sets.

    30.The dips bars are there to help you get your suit on.

    31.A cable crossover machine is just…in the damn way!

    32.Mirrors are only to see what that funky thing is growing off the back of your neck.

    33.Hotdogs are what you find on the back of your training partner’s head.

    34.Stiff leg deadlifts standing on a flat bench and touching the bench…give me a break! Real men stand on a halfinch plate and load the bar to the max.

    35.Who cares about dimes, nickels, and chips? It's all about plates and quarters.

    36.Every time you meet a veterinarian, you look at him in a whole new light.

    37.Who needs carb drinks during training? You can now keep a sandwich in your bag for after your bench.

    38.You know your tailor by first name but don’t own a single sport coat or suit.

    39.When someone asks about a new suit, the furthest thing from your mind is
    Brooks Brothers.

    40.Your choice of condom is anything triple ply with two layers and a short
    reservoir head.

    41.Plates aren’t what you eat off of but what you place on the bar. You eat out of boxes and plastic and paper wrappers.

    42.Wrestling shoes are now pulling shoes. Chucks are now squatting shoes, and you have to bench in whatever you wore to the gym.

    43.If you can put a band on it, it has gotta work and is just what you need!

    44.You have a whole other genre of music to listen to ranging from DMX to Dark Throne.

    45.If someone is weaker than you, they can't tell you anything. That’s until you’re speaking with someone who may be stronger than you. Then you know it all.

    46.Your choice of gyms is reduced by 99 percent until you’re training in your
    garage, tool shed, or basement.

    47.A brief is something with a Metal logo on it. If the time comes when you ask your spouse to jack up the back of your underwear before you leave the house, you know you’re lifting too many big weights.

    48.If someone has a stronger raw bench, who cares? Your shirt bench is bigger. If someone has a bigger shirt bench, who cares? He gets a 300lb
    carryover. Never forget the golden rule—you’re always stronger, have better form, and have more knowledge than anyone else. (I'm sorry. This may piss someone off, but you have to admit that it’s pretty funny.)

    49.Clamps should always go on bars, not nipples.

    50.Lifting big is the only good excuse—outside of being an infant—to crap your pants.

    It’s things like this that keep me coming back time and time again. The bottom line—a few hundreds on each side of the bar look better than a couple of dimes.

    If any of these slip your briefs under your belt or split your chest panel, relax.
    We’re just having fun.
    ASC 105 Kg Pro Strongman | My Website | Facebook Fan Page

    Weight: 218 lbs | Gym PR's -> Front Squat: 510 lbs / Overhead: 375 lbs / Deadlift: 700 lbs

    Supplements: www.AtLargeNutrition.com

  2. #2
    The Flyfisher rbtrout's Avatar
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    My favorites -
    5. ****stained underwear is the mark of a great workout
    17.A PR is to live and die for
    26.Farting on your way to finishing a lift is known as doing whatever it takes to get the weight up.
    41.Plates aren’t what you eat off of but what you place on the bar. You eat out of boxes and plastic and paper wrappers.
    50.Lifting big is the only good excuse—outside of being an infant—to crap your pants.

    Great post, thanks Tom!
    Give chalk a chance.


    49 years old

    665 squat
    700 deadlift
    325 bench

  3. #3
    Squat junkie Painzer's Avatar
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    Haha! These are great... my personal favs...

    10.Bending cheap bars is an honor.
    29.The incline bench is the perfect place to rest between sets.
    32.Mirrors are only to see what that funky thing is growing off the back of your neck.
    42.Wrestling shoes are now pulling shoes. Chucks are now squatting shoes, and you have to bench in whatever you wore to the gym.
    5'8" 177 (meet PRs) ALL RAW

    Bench - 290 (291) Pause reps Dead - 500 (479.5) Squat - 446 (430)

    Total - 1236 (1168.4)

    Goals: Bench - 280 met 1/19/09 new goal - 300 Squat - 435 met 11/28/09 new goal 475 Dead - 500 met 1/23/10 new goal 525

    The Quest

  4. #4
    Ernie Batson
    Join Date
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    Location
    El Paso TX
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    Great Stuff

    1. There’s nothing better than a selfinflicted nose bleed.


    I recently had this happen to me. Nothing like the taste of blood while you're laying on you back with 315 lbs balanced over your face. lol
    You can be pitiful or powerful CHOOSE.

  5. #5
    JERSEY IRON Brian C's Avatar
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    Philly
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    I sharted just reading this from laughing so hard!
    JERSEY IRON POWERLIFTING
    198/220 Pro
    Currenty ranked #1 198 Multiply
    Best meet lifts @220 840/650/575
    Best meet lifts @198 875/585/630
    Best Raw Lifts @198 650/425/575
    Journal:http://www.wannabebig.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=122706

    Eater of: 61 Buffalo wings in 8 minutes
    20 hotdogs+buns in 30 minutes

  6. #6
    Da Bears slashkills's Avatar
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    Lifting big is the only good excuse—outside of being an infant—to crap your pants.
    #1 reason why i crap before i lift. lol!

  7. #7
    Atheist Lifter evilxxx's Avatar
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    Duluth,GA
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    1. There’s nothing better than a selfinflicted nose bleed.

    4. Wearing a beanie hat indoors is cool…well, maybe not.

    10.Bending cheap bars is an honor.

    11.Wearing tight polyester and canvas is better than spandex.

    12.One heavy repetition is much better than any set of ten.

    13.Strip sets are what you call taking off your squat suit. Sometimes you need a few spotters to get those final extra reps.

    21.Baldness is the new look.

    25.Agility is bending over to get your ammonia caps out of your gym bag with
    your knee wraps on and suit straps up.

    26.Farting on your way to finishing a lift is known as doing whatever it takes to get the weight up.

    29.The incline bench is the perfect place to rest between sets.

    32.Mirrors are only to see what that funky thing is growing off the back of your neck.

    42.Wrestling shoes are now pulling shoes. Chucks are now squatting shoes, and you have to bench in whatever you wore to the gym.


    My faves...LOL at # 25 !
    Current Stats:
    5'8" @ 204lbs

    2013 Goals (single ply):
    1700lbs total

  8. #8
    Moderator Brian Hopper's Avatar
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    Good stuff!
    My Training Log
    My YouTube page
    Training by Tone Barbaccio
    New Dimensions Wellness & Education

    *************************
    Best geared meet @ 242
    1030SQ, 640BP, 685DL and 2355 total
    Best raw meet w/sleeves @ 242
    665SQ, 440BP, 727DL and 1815 total
    Best raw meet w/sleeves @ 275
    700SQ, 452BP, 722DL and 1874 total

    *************************
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  9. #9
    Squat:755,Bench:550:DL:60 0 RAT's Avatar
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    hahahahahahah favorite 48.If someone has a stronger raw bench, who cares? Your shirt bench is bigger. If someone has a bigger shirt bench, who cares? He gets a 300lb
    carryover. Never forget the golden rule—you’re always stronger, have better form, and have more knowledge than anyone else. (I'm sorry. This may piss someone off, but you have to admit that it’s pretty funny.)
    Squat=755
    Bench=550
    DL=600

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