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Thread: if I owned a gym

  1. #1
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    if I owned a gym

    just for fun, finish the sentence

    if I owned a gym...

    guys that never touched free weights heavier than a 20lbs dbell would be banned.

    guys that hit the same machine day after day with a lousy 45lbs plate loaded on it would be ousted.

    guys that look like the average unweight trained Joe who acts as training coach to his buds would be flogged at the squat rack.
    Last edited by Rugby Dad; 06-11-2010 at 04:18 PM.

  2. #2
    Moderator Off Road's Avatar
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    it would not have one piece of cardio equipment, except for the sled and prowler
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    Quote Originally Posted by Off Road View Post
    it would not have one piece of cardio equipment, except for the sled and prowler
    So you don't want any chicks in your gym... Just sweaty men handling large loads.

  4. #4
    Skinny Feet Kiff's Avatar
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    Groups of more than 3 people would be banned from using the bench bar...


    It would have a million squat racks, see my journal for relevance...
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    Wannabebig Member SkinnyMan305's Avatar
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    the 150lb guy that puts the 10's on the bar in the squat rack..does some curls...then walks around on the phone, would get a severe beating

  6. #6
    Rob Schilke | GFX Designer thecityalive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugby Dad View Post
    guys that look like the average unweight trained Joe who acts as training coach to his buds would be flogged at the squat rack.
    amen. There is "that guy" at my Powerhouse, and he gives out the "world's best advice" yet this guy looks like a slob.

    If I owned a gym, you would be removed if you didn't rack your weights from your barbells/ machines. I'm fairly ocd about that stuff and it pisses me off to find all of the damn 45 plates on the leg press after Joe Tard finished quarter pressing. Morons.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member cphafner's Avatar
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    I would ban everyone that doesn't wash their hands before returning to the floor after taking a piss

    I would ban everyone that doesn't unrack their weights

    I would ban everyone that curls in the squat rack

    Hopefully after that it would be only me left. Then I'd invite chicks to train there.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Clover's Avatar
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    I would make it the most annoying commercial gym ever, then make another gym for myself while raking in the dough.

  9. #9
    Moderator Off Road's Avatar
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    Instead of machines, I'd have sandbags, kegs, and stones
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    Senior Member soclydeza's Avatar
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    id make the floors out of some kind of easily breakable material (except for where the power rack is) and charge triple the cost of what it would take to fix it when someone throws the weight on the ground

    .....but realistically
    id equip it with an adequate amount of DBs, BB racks, power racks, squat racks, etc, then i'd have a whole outdoor conditioning section with equipment like tires, sandbags, makiwaras and whatnot. id also make a restaurant attached with affordable non-overpriced meals geared toward lifters
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  11. #11
    Become Unbreakable Mark!'s Avatar
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    I'd keep it relatively small, a small warehouse type place geared towards lifting. I'd have strict policies about talking while sitting at a machine, bull****ting around, and not working. Chalk would be FURNISHED. I'd have quality cardio equipment, but in another place, away from the weights. There'd be at least 2 squat racks, 4 quality benches, an abundance of dumbbells, bands, chains. I'd go with soclydeza's idea of an outside area for tires, prowlers, sandbags and such. It would be geared towards lifters, but very suitable for cardio bunnies, they're easy money. Music would be anything that either pisses you off, encourages you, or just scares the crap out of you. Walls would be plastered with posters of cut up bodybuilding heros, powerlifting beasts, and strongman monsters. It'd be a no BS type place with a family type attitude. I'd like to be financially in a position where I could keep dues low, and if someone needs help paying dues, I could say "don't worry about it bro, I got you this month." Or just tell them to come in and help clean up one day, rack weights before closing, or something like that to pay for dues. I wouldn't be banning people left and right, but I'd be watching, if the weights didn't get racked, I'd ask them politely at first to rack em, then proceed to throw them out if they don't comply. I'd also have some heavy bags, atlas stones and such. In my opinion, it'd be a badass place.
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Off Road View Post
    Instead of machines, I'd have sandbags, kegs, and stones
    are you kidding

  13. #13
    Become Unbreakable Mark!'s Avatar
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    I want to get a keg, where the heck can I get a keg...for lifting that is.

    EDIT: Nevermind...local liquor stores, just gotta pay the $10 fee, nice!
    Last edited by Mark!; 06-12-2010 at 03:49 AM.
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    eek... it's lil' Fixation! fixationdarknes's Avatar
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    ...I'd put the cardio equipment next to the squat racks. That way, the only fagg0ts who get to enjoy milf eye candy are those man enough to actually deserve it
    Last edited by fixationdarknes; 06-12-2010 at 03:54 AM.
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  15. #15
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    If I owned a gym...

    I'd do my best to make sure that every member knew what they were doing and actually got fitter and stronger.

  16. #16
    Become Unbreakable Mark!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by J.C. View Post
    If I owned a gym...

    I'd do my best to make sure that every member knew what they were doing and actually got fitter and stronger.
    You make an awesome point. Take 24 hr fitness for example, well because they appear to be of the "better" chain gyms compared to planet fitness per say. 24 hr trainers, don't let you squat full ROM because your knees will come unhinged, they make you do 10lb dumbbell curls on a medicine ball, etc. They teach from a book, and don't change anything to fit their client. We're all different, we all learn, move, and sculpt differently. What helps me lose weight may make you gain weight, so on. Being able to give wisdom and guidance to those young lads who are wanting to become beasts, is irreplaceable.
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugby Dad View Post
    just for fun, finish the sentence

    if I owned a gym...

    guys that never touched free weights heavier than a 20lbs dbell would be banned.

    guys that hit the same machine day after day with a lousy 45lbs plate loaded on it would be ousted.

    guys that look like the average unweight trained Joe who acts as training coach to his buds would be flogged at the squat rack.
    thats just as messed up as kicking out guys who do heavy squats or grunt.... cmon dont sink to those cardio bunny levels...

    as long as theyre not interfering with my workout more power to em...hell those small guys doing ridiculous things make me feel better about myself and getting a good ego boost while working out is a great thing it can dictate your whole workout... keep the small guys

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by fixationdarknes View Post
    ...I'd put the cardio equipment next to the squat racks. That way, the only fagg0ts who get to enjoy milf eye candy are those man enough to actually deserve it
    i would put a womens section behind the mirrors in front of the weights....except every other panel would be a one way window.... that secret would probably get out quick...and its not cause im a letch its for the test boost while working out...

    actually no... instead of having those 24hour fitness guys i would hire a few hooters girls to walk around with water and be paid to make nice to all the guys there again for the test boost. maybe pick a few fitness types to spot the guys working out... 2 women if youre a heavy lifter... theird be a tip jar for each women on the counter on the way out so they have incentive to flirt and help out
    Last edited by Skalami; 06-12-2010 at 06:31 AM.

  19. #19
    A gallon a day, everyday! ThomasG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clover View Post
    I would make it the most annoying commercial gym ever, then make another gym for myself while raking in the dough.
    This. There isn't a lot of money in hardcore gyms. When I eventually open up my own gym it will have a separate room for the hardcore trainers so I don't scare the $$ away.
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  20. #20
    Senior Member DMedley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugby Dad View Post
    just for fun, finish the sentence

    if I owned a gym...

    guys that never touched free weights heavier than a 20lbs dbell would be banned.

    guys that hit the same machine day after day with a lousy 45lbs plate loaded on it would be ousted.

    guys that look like the average unweight trained Joe who acts as training coach to his buds would be flogged at the squat rack.
    If you owned the gym ... you would go broke! There goes 80% of your business.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Clover's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by confidenceb122 View Post
    are you kidding
    Why would he be kidding?

  22. #22
    Guerrilla Journalist Steve Colescott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaMz View Post
    So you don't want any chicks in your gym... Just sweaty men handling large loads.
    Not sure I dig the wording of that, but my gym (The Body Builders Gym in Akron) is like this, no women allowed, lots of competitors (local bodybuilding and power competitors there) and no bull****. When you walk in the door there is a huge chalkboard with results from recent pro shows and a countdown to contests that members may be training for. It's been in business for thirty years and is a bit of a dinosaur (a loveable one like the purple one little kids like).

    There are places to meet women. For me the gym 'aint it. Fitness girls are great to look at, but if I wanted someone with an eating disorder and early abuse issues, I'd look at a strip club. Just saying...


    (Oh, in other words, the fitness girls reject me so who needs 'em!)
    Last edited by Steve Colescott; 06-12-2010 at 01:24 PM.

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    if I owned a gym...

    aech time members reached a goal of theirs, whatever it be, new PR, wieght loss, contest win, etc, they'd get incentives like reduced fees for the month, or free protein drinks for the week.
    that would create excitement about training towards goals, and also create patron loyalty.

  24. #24
    Guerrilla Journalist Steve Colescott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugby Dad View Post
    if I owned a gym...

    aech time members reached a goal of theirs, whatever it be, new PR, wieght loss, contest win, etc, they'd get incentives like reduced fees for the month, or free protein drinks for the week.
    that would create excitement about training towards goals, and also create patron loyalty.
    Nice idea. Just having an owner that sincerely cares about your progress is a rarity, and goes a long way to the success of the business.

  25. #25
    Senior Member RebelDogg's Avatar
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    There'd be an all ladies cardio section. I'd have chest level cameras hooked up to the treadmills and butt-level cameras on the bikes. Also, camera's in the aerobics/yoga rooms. All hooked up to big screens in the weight room... and it'd be clothing optional. For the ladies I mean. I don't wanna see some hairy powerlifter doing squats naked... oh, jeeze... there goes lunch...

    Oh, and tiny doors to the ladies section to keep the big girls out. Nothing against them, I love a tubbaluva. Just don't really want to look at that so much. You may think, "What woman would go to this gym?" I answer you, the kind of women you want to meet at the gym. That's friggin' who.

    Oh, also, ladies get cheap as hell rates. So the ladies there are not only slutty but cheap as well. Jackpot, guys.
    Last edited by RebelDogg; 06-12-2010 at 02:59 PM.

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