The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Lord Kel Masters Sayiajin Prince's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    EXIT^2, Ny
    Posts
    1,823

    weight loss program

    A rather chubby fellow was reading the paper one-day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a "guaranteed" weight loss program. "Guaranteed my a*s" he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 pound weight loss program.

    The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    Well without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through, he thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company does business." For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time.

    On the fourth day, he weighs himself, and sure enough he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat slender physique, not to mention the method of "treatment", he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 pound weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule might be like this time.

    As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22-year-old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reebok's and a sign around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does it is worth every cramp and wheeze. He is really looking forward to the next four days...

    For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he thinks to himself, I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun!"

    Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, sir?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. I haven't felt this good in years!"

    The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200-pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. The sign reads, "If I catch you, your a*s is mine!"
    "The whole jedi thing was just not compatible with my lifestyle. My master was jelous he was always holding me back, -"be mindfull of the future, but live in the present"- what the hell does that mean? I even got my arm cut off...it just sucked. So i switched to the dark side and i havent looked back once...Now i am shooting lightning from my fingertips, choking people over the phone, i even get to wear a cape.....its just boss. My name is Anikin skywalker and i am a sith lord."

    "i have the sex drive of 10 rabbits on viagra"

    age: 19
    height: 5'8'' (im lieing its probably 5'7'')
    weight: 159-165 lbs (morning and day)
    bodyfat: 8.6
    bench:315
    squat:405
    Deadlift:500

    goals for end of the year 405/500/600 at 170-175(with the 8pack)

    other: dips 3 and a quarter plates for 4 reps

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  3. #2
    "Tuna Boy" NateDogg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Central, MA
    Posts
    3,376
    LOL
    "damn...can't beat logic like that.
    NAte is exactly right." - Tryska

  4. #3
    Senior of Kinesiology
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Penn State
    Posts
    1,900
    *lol*

    heard it before, but its still really funny.
    Meet PR: 290lb bench press, 505lb dead lift @ 190lbs

    Current Training: Yoga and Weightlifting

    5'11'', Male, 175lbs, age 22

  5. #4
    Forsaken by Destiny jell999's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Beyond Your Depth of Perception
    Posts
    661
    Nice.
    Push the envelope/Watch it bend.

  6. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    4,407
    lol that is great
    lol
    Our Journal!
    R.I.P Devie

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