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Thread: I think I just saw the douchiest lifter ever

  1. #1
    Hungry like the wolf. Dgro's Avatar
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    I think I just saw the douchiest lifter ever

    at my college gym tonight

    there was this guy. he had long hipster hair which i'm pretty sure was straightened using one of those hot metal lady-sticks that girls use. he also had blonde streaks

    he was wearing a cutoff and a wife beater at the same time. lifting gloves, too, i know you guys like those.

    inbetween sets he actually stopped to practice his douchey dance moves right in front of everyone (and the dumbbell rack), acting all stoic as if it were a completely normal thing to do

    he was way too tan for a wisconsinite at this time of year

    but the real reason I'm posting to tell you about him...he brought his god damn macbook to the gym. Grabbed a couple plyo boxes, stacked them up on a platform, and set the fucking thing down on this pedestal of douche and failure. the reason he brought it, i guess, was because he didn't want to bother printing out/writing down the list of outlandish exercises that he and his diplodocus-looking girlfriend were doing for the 2 hours i was there (i'm not even going to get into the specifics of what they were doing, but it was totally retarded). This is a diplodocus:

    http://www.nsf.gov/od/lpa/news/press...odocus_big.jpg

    but yeah, macbook at a gym. never seen that before. everything else about him was just icing on the cake that is my passive-agressive judgement
    ::::::::::::::::::::Updated 9-16-11::::::::::::::::::::
    Deadlift 1x5 @ 408 Squat Max @ 370
    CG Bench 1x7 @ 225 Power Clean Max @ 235
    W Chinups 3x10 @ +50 Dips 1x5 @ +115

    Height - 6'3 Weight - 194lbs Age - 21

    "I've got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end." - Larry Bird

  2. #2
    Smeagol on Steroids Mercuryblade's Avatar
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    My gym much to both my happiness and chagrin is pretty douche free.
    Hilarious story, and I'm sad you didn't snap a picture of him.
    http://www.senseaboutscience.org.uk/

    Starting Current
    Bench: 45 lbs Bench: 235 lbs
    Squat: 95 lbs Squat: 285 lbs
    Deadlift: 100 lbs Deadlift: 330 lbs

  3. #3
    Hungry like the wolf. Dgro's Avatar
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    Ha, I didn't even think to. Now I'm bummed too.
    ::::::::::::::::::::Updated 9-16-11::::::::::::::::::::
    Deadlift 1x5 @ 408 Squat Max @ 370
    CG Bench 1x7 @ 225 Power Clean Max @ 235
    W Chinups 3x10 @ +50 Dips 1x5 @ +115

    Height - 6'3 Weight - 194lbs Age - 21

    "I've got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end." - Larry Bird

  4. #4
    mrelwooddowd Patz's Avatar
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    The laptop sealed it for me. Nice.
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  5. #5
    Beefcake razorcut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrelwooddowd View Post
    The laptop sealed it for me. Nice.
    Everybody knows a real lifter brings an ipad. Jesus.
    I know you're half-crazy, but I wish you'd go all the way.

    "Razorcut, as usual, is 100% correct." --- ectx

    "It is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science. --- Charles Darwin

  6. #6
    Gamer/Lifter
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    My buddy actually uses his Ipad...He has it in a case that straps to his back it actually works out very well.

    BTW my smart phone has replaced my work out journal...
    "It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
    "It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
    "It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.
    "It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

  7. #7
    Senior Member KIBBLES N BITS's Avatar
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    Leave it to the hipsters, I see the same shit everyday at my University Fitness Center too. I haven't seen a macbook yet though thank god, I'd immediately facepalm.

    One thing I hate are the GIANT groups that come in every once in awhile. There's usually 5-6 of them that just bullshit the entire time and clog the place up while they have one the ring leader who knows some "Badass get jacked" workout. Of course they all rock amazing cutoffs that show half of there chest too. <3 College

  8. #8
    House Lannister
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    Quote Originally Posted by KIBBLES N BITS View Post
    Leave it to the hipsters, I see the same shit everyday at my University Fitness Center too. I haven't seen a macbook yet though thank god, I'd immediately facepalm.

    One thing I hate are the GIANT groups that come in every once in awhile. There's usually 5-6 of them that just bullshit the entire time and clog the place up while they have one the ring leader who knows some "Badass get jacked" workout. Of course they all rock amazing cutoffs that show half of there chest too. <3 College
    Lulz. I hear that.

    I normally don't complain about gym dumbasses, but yesterday pissed me off. Going for a PR on DL, and my gym is set up in a way so that a single rack is shared by both a squat platform and a bench, one on each side. Sounds weird but isn't.

    Anywho, two pedo-bear looking skinny guys with some trollface girl come in and set up some sort of bench circuit bs with the rack next to me as well as the bench directly in front of me. I don't know about you, but I don't like pulling while staring at some dudes ass. Was very annoying and they were on that bench for 20-30 mins.

    Fuckers.

  9. #9
    Senior Member IronDiggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razorcut View Post
    Everybody knows a real lifter brings an ipad. Jesus.
    I was going to say ownership of a mac is douchey enough without being at the gym.

    But then I remembered I've been using my iphone to check my Google docs to see what I am doing for the day as I keep losing my printouts. *sigh*
    Best unequipped meet lifts - 120kg Open class
    Sq: 629lbs
    Bp: 330lbs
    Dl: 585lbs
    Training since Dec 2008.

  10. #10
    Senior Member KIBBLES N BITS's Avatar
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    Agree with the mac comment, I can justify the iPhone though since a droid device is more or less the same price. Macbooks however are marked up a bazillion % and can't hold a candle to a similarly priced PC...especially if you build your own (which you should, takes about 15 mins of research lol)

  11. #11
    Senior Member IronDiggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KIBBLES N BITS View Post
    Agree with the mac comment, I can justify the iPhone though since a droid device is more or less the same price. Macbooks however are marked up a bazillion % and can't hold a candle to a similarly priced PC...especially if you build your own (which you should, takes about 15 mins of research lol)
    Had an android phone back in the day been available, I would have went with that. I wanted something not a blackberry heh. phone is being upgraded in a couple months.

    I wonder if someone thinks me as a douche when I bust out my work laptop while I'm on call. I take it over to the seating area though not a plyo box.
    Best unequipped meet lifts - 120kg Open class
    Sq: 629lbs
    Bp: 330lbs
    Dl: 585lbs
    Training since Dec 2008.

  12. #12
    Paul killxswitch's Avatar
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    I like reading these stories not just for laughs but because they make me thankful again for my basement gym.

  13. #13
    Senior Member IronDiggy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by killxswitch View Post
    I like reading these stories not just for laughs but because they make me thankful again for my basement gym.
    I am jealous that you own a basement gym.
    Best unequipped meet lifts - 120kg Open class
    Sq: 629lbs
    Bp: 330lbs
    Dl: 585lbs
    Training since Dec 2008.

  14. #14
    Smeagol on Steroids Mercuryblade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by killxswitch View Post
    I like reading these stories not just for laughs but because they make me thankful again for my basement gym.
    Meh, I'm much too much of a douche for a basement gym. Being able to play my own music and not wait for a squat rack doesn't overrule my desire to look at women.
    Last edited by Mercuryblade; 04-18-2011 at 01:34 PM.
    http://www.senseaboutscience.org.uk/

    Starting Current
    Bench: 45 lbs Bench: 235 lbs
    Squat: 95 lbs Squat: 285 lbs
    Deadlift: 100 lbs Deadlift: 330 lbs

  15. #15
    Paul killxswitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IronDiggy View Post
    I am jealous that you own a basement gym.
    I guess "gym" is overstating it, more like a power rack, bench, a few bars, and plates.

    Merc I understand what you're saying but when you're married and have a kid your priorities change a little. Convenience often supersedes hornyness. And there were more naked old dudes than attractive women at my last two gyms. Must be the area.
    Last edited by killxswitch; 04-18-2011 at 05:06 PM.

  16. #16
    Senior Member BilltheButcher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nik00117 View Post
    My buddy actually uses his Ipad...He has it in a case that straps to his back it actually works out very well.

    BTW my smart phone has replaced my work out journal...
    So your buddy goes to the gym with his IPAD attached to his back?
    Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God.

  17. #17
    The Bulkness Cometh! BULK_BOY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by killxswitch View Post
    I guess "gym" is overstating it, more like a power rack, bench, a few bars, and plates.

    Merc I understand what you're saying but when you're married and have a kid your priorities change a little. Convenience often supersedes hornyness. And there were more naked old dudes than attractive women at my last two gyms. Must be the area.
    Ditto for me Paul.

    I just love my new basement "gym"
    "to teach God's word, by his own example; that we must Love all things that God made" - The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

    DL: 375 RAW No Belt, No Wraps, No nothing!
    SQ: 325 RAW " " "
    BP: 220 RAW " " "

    Total: 920 hahaha Not quite a 1000lbs (This was done back in 2008 )

  18. #18
    Senior Member K-R-M's Avatar
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    Okay dude,


    First of all, my hair is NOT straightened, it's naturally like that. The blonde streaks was my GIRLFRIEND's idea, who BY THE WAY, models for Sears catalogue, so you know where you can shove that dinosaur comment.

    I'm also into tecktronik dance, that's why I practice, but like you would understand. Have you ever done a battle-off against hip hoppers, no, didn't think so. So keep that opinion for yourself next time.

    My gloves were my trainers idea. He's tops in the business, I pay him 150$ an hour, he trained a lot of california stars, who do YOU train with? Yeah, thought so.

    And BY THE WAY, that's not even my main laptop, it's my cheapest one, that's why I can bring it to the gym, unlike all you poor guys. Don't blame me if I have money.




















    LOL, just kidding, you should've smacked him and run off with his laptop.
    Last edited by K-R-M; 04-18-2011 at 11:15 PM.

  19. #19
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    i was really hoping for a picture

  20. #20
    Paul killxswitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by f=ma View Post
    i was really hoping for a picture
    I imagine it's something like this:


  21. #21
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    that is seriously the most amazing picture i have seen today

  22. #22
    Wannabebig Member MNparisect's Avatar
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    Try going to a college full of D3 football players. hahahaha
    MINNESOTA


    PR's @ 169-170, 5'10
    Squat- 1x315
    DL- 1x330
    Bench 2x235
    Total- 880


    Goal- Ideal Weight 180, and Total Raw Weight- 1000

  23. #23
    The Bulkness Cometh! BULK_BOY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by killxswitch View Post
    I imagine it's something like this:

    Pricelesss!!!!!!!!
    "to teach God's word, by his own example; that we must Love all things that God made" - The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

    DL: 375 RAW No Belt, No Wraps, No nothing!
    SQ: 325 RAW " " "
    BP: 220 RAW " " "

    Total: 920 hahaha Not quite a 1000lbs (This was done back in 2008 )

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