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Thread: Life . . . explained

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  1. #1
    Trying to figure this out JohnCollins's Avatar
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    Life . . . explained

    Subject: secret of life


    And so it goes...

    On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to
    field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have
    calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a
    life span of sixty years."

    The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live
    for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the
    other forty."

    And God agreed.

    On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by
    the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks
    past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

    The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years
    and I'll give back the other ten."

    So God agreed (sigh).

    On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
    people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty
    year life span."

    Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for
    twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's
    what I'll do too, okay?"

    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play,
    have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you
    twenty years."

    Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what,
    I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog
    gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

    So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play,
    have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave
    in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do
    monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten
    years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

    Life has now been explained.
    "Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

    Had a good workout on my liver yesterday. Did a pretty high number of reps, but not to complete failure. Liver DOMS today is kinda bad...it has even reached my head! -- ElPietro

    "If I ever found a chick who smelled like gun powder and spent cartridges, I'd run to a jewelry store, rob it, and propose to her with a sack of diamonds. " --Budiak

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  2. #2
    P o S e R kAiXuan's Avatar
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    good laugh, nice post
    -deFenDeRs oF thE unDerRateD

    If it doesnt make dollars, then it doesnt make sense

    I never knew how skinny I was untill I started gaining a little weight

  3. #3
    P o S e R kAiXuan's Avatar
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    good laugh, nice post
    -deFenDeRs oF thE unDerRateD

    If it doesnt make dollars, then it doesnt make sense

    I never knew how skinny I was untill I started gaining a little weight

  4. #4
    Meathead Philosopher Pup's Avatar
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    Double Poster! tuttut
    May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

  5. #5
    Senior Member TreeTrunks's Avatar
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    lol john!!!!

  6. #6
    Fighting Genetics AdamGberg's Avatar
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    it is funny because it is true!
    "Don't take life too serious, you'll never get out alive."-Van Wilder

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    nice, i like it

  8. #8
    Simplistic
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    good stuff

  9. #9
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    *lmao*

    good one.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

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