The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
Latest Article

The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Its no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
More Recent Articles
Contrast Training for Size
By: Lee Boyce
An Interview with Marianne Kane of Girls Gone Strong
By: Jordan Syatt
What Supplements Should I be Taking? By: Jay Wainwright
Bench Like a Girl By: Julia Ladewski
Some Thoughts on Building a Big Pull By: Christopher Mason

Facebook Join Facebook Group       Twitter Follow on Twitter       rss Subscribe via RSS
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 63

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Trying to figure this out JohnCollins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    1,336

    I'm a "Bad" American! Another 5-pager in the making

    These are hilarious, describe my feelings to a "T", and ought to generate at least 5 pages of mewling argument, I'm sure. supposedly this was said by George Carlin, but when you get stuff in the email these days, you never know. There's enough in here that does NOT sound like him to make me skeptical, but I like it anyway.
    ------------------------

    YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
    (allegedly JC)by George Carlin

    I Am Your Worst Nightmare.

    I am a BAD American.

    I am George Carlin.

    I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
    I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

    I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
    American.

    I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

    I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

    I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

    I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

    I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where
    they want to.

    My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled
    Jerry Springer.

    I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

    I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

    I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

    I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

    I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

    I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're
    running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

    I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

    I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me
    crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

    I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
    parents.

    I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even if you are President of the United States.

    And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

    If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
    "Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

    Had a good workout on my liver yesterday. Did a pretty high number of reps, but not to complete failure. Liver DOMS today is kinda bad...it has even reached my head! -- ElPietro

    "If I ever found a chick who smelled like gun powder and spent cartridges, I'd run to a jewelry store, rob it, and propose to her with a sack of diamonds. " --Budiak

    "I dance like a drunken white boy. I'm really screwed since I quit drinking." -- PowerManDL

  2.    Support Wannabebig and use AtLarge Nutrition Supplements!


  3. #2
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,191
    sounds very carlin-esque.

    he's my alltime favorite comedian.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  4. #3
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Ft. Lauderdale, FL
    Posts
    7,850
    LOL.....those are classic sig material
    Vin Diesel has a fever.. and the only prescription is more cowbell.

    Budiak: That girl I maced
    Budiak: macked
    Budiak: heh maced
    Budiak: I wish

    ShmrckPmp5: a good thing people can't fire guns through the computer...your ass would have been shot years ago

    Y2A 47: youre smooth as hell
    Y2A 47: thats why you get outta tickets, and into panties

    galileo: you're a fucking beast and I hate you
    galileo: hate

    assgrabbers are never subtile, they will grabb ass whereever they go,public or not, I know the type, because I am one. - Rock

  5. #4
    Simplistic
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Albuquerque, NM
    Posts
    2,179
    I think I saw that list somewhere with Ted Nugent's name attached to it.

  6. #5
    Starting all over again :(
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    559
    sounds like your avg angry white dude if you ask me

  7. #6
    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    FFFA Headquarters
    Posts
    11,468
    Whether or not those came from Carlin is irrelevant. He is damned cool, no matter who said that stuff.

    *laughs thinking about Carlin's cameo in Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back*
    Founding Member and CEO of the FFFA

    "All that matters is beauty on the inside! Outside beauty doesn't matter!"
    ~This is something ugly people say to feel better about themselves...

    "Strength and size don't matter! It's not fair to judge training knowledge based on strength and size!"
    ~This is something wussy people say to feel better about themselves...

    Pearls of Wisdom...


    Resident Ninja Demon (with a pet Radioactive Sloth) and SchlonkeyMaster of WBB!

    Rock is my 'Big Viking Brother', and not in a homo-esque way.

    And no COLON jokes, bastards!

  8. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Kitchener, ON
    Posts
    11,341
    that was classic... ya know, the cool thing about Carlin's stuff is that most of it is timeless; you can listen to an old Carlin record and still laugh your ass off at his stuff

  9. #8
    Ex-Mod Jane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Yale
    Posts
    3,747

    Re: I'm a "Bad" American! Another 5-pager in the making

    Originally posted by JohnCollins

    I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
    I agree with all of them except I've a problem with this one. Who the f*ck does guy think he is, expecting everyone to come out of the womb knowing English? It takes time to learn a language, and I don't appreciate this sentence, as sarcastic and jest-like as it may be .
    "Then on leg day do squats, lunges, stiff legged deadlifts, fluffernutters, and calf raises."--Belial, training a newbie

    PowermanDL on Russian culture: "Big furry hats come into play somewhere."

    "The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." --Thomas Paine

  10. #9
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,191
    i dunno jane. Imo it's a valid point. the only reason i know any spanish at all is because of co-workers of mine over the years that i've had to communicate with some sort of way, and they don't know a lick of english. It surprises the hell out of me, that some of these people are able to full function considering they don't know our language.

    For instance...ont he maintenance crew at my gym, there is one guy, who i can't ask for help on anything, because he ahs no clue, what i'm saying, nor do i know what he's saying. it's important for us to be able to communicate tho, because at certain hours, there is no spanish speaking manager on duty, and it just may be me, by myself.

    another example....another lady on the staff, she carries on full conversations with me, in i think, portuguese. I have no clue what she's saying.

    And again, yesterday i went to a restaurant to get some food. I knew the girl working the counter from someplace else, and she tried to have a conversation with me, but we could barely do the transaction because she didn't know enough english too.

    I think there should be basic language skills. If you are coming to a country where english is the primary language, your best bet is to learn english.

    I highly doubt i could go to a non-english speaking country without knowing the language AT ALL and expect to get a job, particularly dealing with people.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  11. #10
    Spartan Warrior The_Blackstar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Silver City, NM
    Posts
    364

    ...

    That was really stupid.

  12. #11
    Senior Member TreeTrunks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Foot up TCD's ass
    Posts
    2,169
    Does not sound like Carlin at all. Sounds 100% like Ted Nugent!!! Ted's the man!!! Great material John!!

  13. #12
    No me llames cerdo... EdgarMex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Cd. Juarez, Mexico
    Posts
    1,969
    Originally posted by Tryska
    i dunno jane. Imo it's a valid point. the only reason i know any spanish at all is because of co-workers of mine over the years that i've had to communicate with some sort of way, and they don't know a lick of english. It surprises the hell out of me, that some of these people are able to full function considering they don't know our language.
    Even tho I'm not American and I don't live in the US, I completely agree with this. How can somebody even think about going to another country, any country, to work and not knowing the language that is spoken there. For a long time that has been one thing I don't understand. Although that doesn't turn my stomach as much as people that go into another country (in most cases latin american people going into the US) illegally to work and then bitch (cause in my personal opinion that's what it is, bitching) about the way they are treated, about not having the same rights, not having the same opportunities, etc.
    Edgar V.

    So you don't wanna get big, do you?


    ----------------------------------------

    "If your arm measurement is currently 13 inches, you are worrying about the wrong things. Quit comparing to others, quit worrying about little details, get your ass in the gym, work as hard as you can, then go eat something. Repeat until huge." - Paul Stagg

    "There is no miracle "look good" diet/pill other than determination and commitment" - geoffgarcia

    "Freaking lift to get bigger, or stronger, or better at your damn sport, and quit worrying about weather or not your arm is 16 inches or 16.2 inches." - Paul Stagg

    "If you want to look like Brad Pitt go run a marathon or something." - Severed Ties

  14. #13
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,191
    edgar...i'm glad you agree with me. I come from another country myself, granted it was part of the British Empire at one time, and it was much easier to learn the language prior to coming to this country, but i doubt my parents would have moved us, if we didn't speak the language.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  15. #14
    Simplistic
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Albuquerque, NM
    Posts
    2,179
    Originally posted by Tryska
    i dunno jane. Imo it's a valid point. the only reason i know any spanish at all is because of co-workers of mine over the years that i've had to communicate with some sort of way, and they don't know a lick of english. It surprises the hell out of me, that some of these people are able to full function considering they don't know our language.

    For instance...ont he maintenance crew at my gym, there is one guy, who i can't ask for help on anything, because he ahs no clue, what i'm saying, nor do i know what he's saying. it's important for us to be able to communicate tho, because at certain hours, there is no spanish speaking manager on duty, and it just may be me, by myself.

    another example....another lady on the staff, she carries on full conversations with me, in i think, portuguese. I have no clue what she's saying.

    And again, yesterday i went to a restaurant to get some food. I knew the girl working the counter from someplace else, and she tried to have a conversation with me, but we could barely do the transaction because she didn't know enough english too.

    I think there should be basic language skills. If you are coming to a country where english is the primary language, your best bet is to learn english.

    I highly doubt i could go to a non-english speaking country without knowing the language AT ALL and expect to get a job, particularly dealing with people.
    I agree. Excellent points.

  16. #15
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,191


    now there's a first.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  17. #16
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    5,931
    *puts fist in the air* Yeah, i completely agree.
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  18. #17
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,191
    actually i could prolly go to france, and speak english there and work. only because they wouldn't want me murderign their precious mother tongue with my horrid accent.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  19. #18
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Ft. Lauderdale, FL
    Posts
    7,850
    Wait.....you can offend the French by speaking their own language?

    They're bigger pusses than I thought.

    *goes to learn French*
    Vin Diesel has a fever.. and the only prescription is more cowbell.

    Budiak: That girl I maced
    Budiak: macked
    Budiak: heh maced
    Budiak: I wish

    ShmrckPmp5: a good thing people can't fire guns through the computer...your ass would have been shot years ago

    Y2A 47: youre smooth as hell
    Y2A 47: thats why you get outta tickets, and into panties

    galileo: you're a fucking beast and I hate you
    galileo: hate

    assgrabbers are never subtile, they will grabb ass whereever they go,public or not, I know the type, because I am one. - Rock

  20. #19
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,191
    yes. true frenchmen HATE it when you speak french with a horrible accent.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  21. #20
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,191
    me: bon soir!

    frenchman: Shut Up! Your mother smells of elderberries!
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  22. #21
    Trying to figure this out JohnCollins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    1,336
    Originally posted by Tryska


    now there's a first.
    Neil, there's hope for you yet! Good on ya'!
    "Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

    Had a good workout on my liver yesterday. Did a pretty high number of reps, but not to complete failure. Liver DOMS today is kinda bad...it has even reached my head! -- ElPietro

    "If I ever found a chick who smelled like gun powder and spent cartridges, I'd run to a jewelry store, rob it, and propose to her with a sack of diamonds. " --Budiak

    "I dance like a drunken white boy. I'm really screwed since I quit drinking." -- PowerManDL

  23. #22
    Ex-Mod Jane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Yale
    Posts
    3,747
    Originally posted by Tryska
    i dunno jane. Imo it's a valid point. the only reason i know any spanish at all is because of co-workers of mine over the years that i've had to communicate with some sort of way, and they don't know a lick of english. It surprises the hell out of me, that some of these people are able to full function considering they don't know our language.

    For instance...ont he maintenance crew at my gym, there is one guy, who i can't ask for help on anything, because he ahs no clue, what i'm saying, nor do i know what he's saying. it's important for us to be able to communicate tho, because at certain hours, there is no spanish speaking manager on duty, and it just may be me, by myself.

    another example....another lady on the staff, she carries on full conversations with me, in i think, portuguese. I have no clue what she's saying.

    And again, yesterday i went to a restaurant to get some food. I knew the girl working the counter from someplace else, and she tried to have a conversation with me, but we could barely do the transaction because she didn't know enough english too.

    I think there should be basic language skills. If you are coming to a country where english is the primary language, your best bet is to learn english.
    ***Sure, it's your best bet. But it's easier to say than actually do. Learning is not always possible. Plus, complete immersion cuts learning time at least 50-75%! Think of how much money and time that saves.

    I highly doubt i could go to a non-english speaking country without knowing the language AT ALL and expect to get a job, particularly dealing with people.
    *** Why would you leave the US? There is opportunity, stability, education, and wealth here. Moving is just an option, not a necessity.

    I agree in every way that people need to make an effort, especially when communication is vital in their line of work. However,

    Let me ask you this. Think about all the countries in the world that are NOT western European and maybe third-world or in other ways struggling.
    1. Now, how many of those countries do you think have adequate opportunities for learning English?
    2. How many parents, in those down-on-their-luck countries, have the TIME and MONEY to invest in English study?
    3. And how many Americans, despite spending plenty of time in foreign language classes, still remain unable to speak in spanish, french, or german because a certain amount of immersion is imperative for language proficiency?

    Also, consider quotas. It's very difficult to get into the United States permanently, we all know that. In countries with high corruption levels, politics run amuk, unstable government, etc etc, when you somehow acquire the ability to come to the best country in the world, you take it. You don't sit around trying to learn a few more vocab words, you pack your stuff and run the hell out. Where some see 'being unprepared,' I see incredible strength, courage, and audacity.

    Finally, I'll use my often-used but appropriate Russian example. My mother did NOT have the time or money to find herself adult English language classes. In fact, I seriously doubt Russia had english language classes until the 90s. When getting her two kids food was an issue, she wouldnt spend a cent on attempting to learn a language, which makes perfect sense if you ask me. Now, when the dream came true and we finally, finally were allowed here, we went as soon as possible for fear that we'd lose it somehow, or get it duped out from under our hands. The noveau riche of Russia? Grabbed all the land, property, value of the country when we went from government-owned to private-owned. Now there's an elite rich class and everyone else has nothing. Who knows when they'd stop? I came in 1992, prime post-collapse year.

    Ok, back to the logistics of the matter. I AGREE that once someone has migrated, they should make an effort to learn English. HOWEVER, this takes time. It took me about 2 years, and I was a malleable kid, didn't have a job, errands, less stress, lots of schooling, etc etc.

    People should make an effort. But for god's sakes, cut them some slack while they do? Everyone deserves a chance in America. Just because they didn't come prepared to ace a written exam doesn't mean they're not good people.
    Last edited by Jane; 09-23-2002 at 08:16 PM.
    "Then on leg day do squats, lunges, stiff legged deadlifts, fluffernutters, and calf raises."--Belial, training a newbie

    PowermanDL on Russian culture: "Big furry hats come into play somewhere."

    "The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." --Thomas Paine

  24. #23
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Ft. Lauderdale, FL
    Posts
    7,850
    Excellent. Yet another tool to annoy the Frenchman.

    In fact, I won't even learn the whole language.....just a few words interspersed with English....and say it all in my worst Southern drawl.
    Vin Diesel has a fever.. and the only prescription is more cowbell.

    Budiak: That girl I maced
    Budiak: macked
    Budiak: heh maced
    Budiak: I wish

    ShmrckPmp5: a good thing people can't fire guns through the computer...your ass would have been shot years ago

    Y2A 47: youre smooth as hell
    Y2A 47: thats why you get outta tickets, and into panties

    galileo: you're a fucking beast and I hate you
    galileo: hate

    assgrabbers are never subtile, they will grabb ass whereever they go,public or not, I know the type, because I am one. - Rock

  25. #24
    Trying to figure this out JohnCollins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    1,336
    Jane, I am sensitive to what you are trying to say. I think the gist of what the person meant about ordering the big mac (I now think this was Ted Nugent) was that there are a lot of politically correct types in this country who almost demand Americans learn foreign languages to be able to, say, order a meal in Spanish to make it easier for the immigrants.

    In California Hispanic parents were going nuts because their kids were being FORCED into bilingual classes, when the parents didn't even want it. Some kids who didn't speak spanish were forced into spanish speaking classrooms because they had Hispanic surnames! It is PC run amok! And the person quoted was aiming at that, I believe, not taking a swipe at all immigrants.

    While trying to be sensitive, however, (I know it's tough to learn a new language) I still beileve one should not have a job that requires actually communicating with patrons/customers if they can't speak English. It's that simple. And I should think it would be obvious.

    Congratulations, by the way. Your english is probably the best on this board, no kidding. It shames me and should shame quite a few of our native posters, as well. You are an extremely accomplished writer.
    "Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

    Had a good workout on my liver yesterday. Did a pretty high number of reps, but not to complete failure. Liver DOMS today is kinda bad...it has even reached my head! -- ElPietro

    "If I ever found a chick who smelled like gun powder and spent cartridges, I'd run to a jewelry store, rob it, and propose to her with a sack of diamonds. " --Budiak

    "I dance like a drunken white boy. I'm really screwed since I quit drinking." -- PowerManDL

  26. #25
    Senior Member Manveet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    White Rock, BC
    Posts
    5,774
    Isn't there some sort of English aptitude test for immigration? I'm sure they don't let people into the states that easy.
    "It is often said, mainly by the "no-contests", that although there is no positive evidence for the existence of God, nor is there evidence against his existence. So it is best to keep an open mind and be agnostic. At first sight that seems an unassailable position, at least in the weak sense of Pascal's wager. But on second thought it seems a cop-out, because the same could be said of Father Christmas and tooth fairies. There may be fairies at the bottom of the garden. There is no evidence for it, but you can't prove that there aren't any, so shouldn't we be agnostic with respect to fairies?"

    Richard Dawkins


    "Out of all of the sects in the world, we notice an uncanny coincidence: the overwhelming majority just happen to choose the one that their parents belong to. Not the sect that has the best evidence in its favour, the best miracles, the best moral code, the best cathedral, the best stained glass, the best music: when it comes to choosing from the smorgasbord of available religions, their potential virtues seem to count for nothing, compared to the matter of heredity. This is an unmistakable fact; nobody could seriously deny it. Yet people with full knowledge of the arbitrary nature of this heredity, somehow manage to go on believing in their religion, often with such fanaticism that they are prepared to murder people who follow a different one."


    Richard Dawkins


    "Bah. You know I hate poor people."

    Paul Stagg

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •