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Thread: Things I've learned in life -- humorous

  1. #1
    Trying to figure this out JohnCollins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002

    Things I've learned in life -- humorous

    I've learned......

    that you cannot make
    someone love you. All you can do is
    stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

    I've learned that no matter how much I care,
    some people are just a$$holes.

    I've learned that it takes years
    to build up trust, and it only takes
    suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

    I've learned that you can get by
    on charm for about fifteen minutes.
    After that, you'd better have a big weenie
    or huge boobs.

    I've learned that you shouldn't
    compare yourself to others - they are
    more screwed up than you think.

    I've learned that you can keep puking
    long after you think you're finished.

    I've learned that we are responsible
    for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

    I've learned that regardless of
    how hot and steamy a relationship is
    at first, the passion fades, and there had
    better be a lot of money to take its place.

    I've learned that the people you care most
    about in life are taken from you too soon
    and all the less important ones just never go

    Pass this along to 5 me,
    they'll appreciate it. Who knows,
    maybe something good will happen.
    If not...tough sh|t!
    "Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

    Had a good workout on my liver yesterday. Did a pretty high number of reps, but not to complete failure. Liver DOMS today is kinda has even reached my head! -- ElPietro

    "If I ever found a chick who smelled like gun powder and spent cartridges, I'd run to a jewelry store, rob it, and propose to her with a sack of diamonds. " --Budiak

    "I dance like a drunken white boy. I'm really screwed since I quit drinking." -- PowerManDL

  2. #2
    Senior Member Manveet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    White Rock, BC
    lol, preach on JC. So damn true.
    "It is often said, mainly by the "no-contests", that although there is no positive evidence for the existence of God, nor is there evidence against his existence. So it is best to keep an open mind and be agnostic. At first sight that seems an unassailable position, at least in the weak sense of Pascal's wager. But on second thought it seems a cop-out, because the same could be said of Father Christmas and tooth fairies. There may be fairies at the bottom of the garden. There is no evidence for it, but you can't prove that there aren't any, so shouldn't we be agnostic with respect to fairies?"

    Richard Dawkins

    "Out of all of the sects in the world, we notice an uncanny coincidence: the overwhelming majority just happen to choose the one that their parents belong to. Not the sect that has the best evidence in its favour, the best miracles, the best moral code, the best cathedral, the best stained glass, the best music: when it comes to choosing from the smorgasbord of available religions, their potential virtues seem to count for nothing, compared to the matter of heredity. This is an unmistakable fact; nobody could seriously deny it. Yet people with full knowledge of the arbitrary nature of this heredity, somehow manage to go on believing in their religion, often with such fanaticism that they are prepared to murder people who follow a different one."

    Richard Dawkins

    "Bah. You know I hate poor people."

    Paul Stagg

  3. #3
    jerkstore Ironman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    ahh yes, the infamous puke-on-the-old-empty-stomach-from-drinking

    and still manage to have stuff come up
    " bones are so brittle, but i always drink plenty of, 'MALK'?!?!" -- bart

  4. #4
    Senior Member TreeTrunks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Foot up TCD's ass
    hey john just have your e-mail sent to WBB, it'll save you some time heh good post!

  5. #5
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    *lmao* nice one john.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!

    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  6. #6
    The chill in the air is me cyclone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Bush Country
    I have learned to never raise my hand to my son, it leaves my crotch open.
    If you're going down.....go down swinging.~ me

    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.~unknown

    she is very nice, we had sex first, then spoke later, I liked that.~Rock


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