The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
Latest Article

The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

It’s no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
More Recent Articles
Contrast Training for Size
By: Lee Boyce
An Interview with Marianne Kane of Girls Gone Strong
By: Jordan Syatt
What Supplements Should I be Taking? By: Jay Wainwright
Bench Like a Girl By: Julia Ladewski
Some Thoughts on Building a Big Pull By: Christopher Mason

Facebook Join Facebook Group       Twitter Follow on Twitter       rss Subscribe via RSS
Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. #1
    Senior Member icanrace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    321

    Fiance not spending enough time with me?

    I have this problem. My fiance is still going to college to be a pharmicist. This takes a lot of time and effort. She is really busy with this. She also is a very active person in which she runs about 7 miles a day & also works sometimes in the evenings after class. My problem is is that I love her a lot & I feel that I am coming in second to everything else (but at the same time I know what she is doing is really important) We do not live together at this time. We spend our weekend nights together & 1 night through the week. I need some advice on how I should be reacting to this situation. I know she is busy with her class etc, but it still upsets me that we are not together more often. PLease help!

  2.    Support Wannabebig and use AtLarge Nutrition Supplements!


  3. #2
    No me llames cerdo... EdgarMex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Cd. Juarez, Mexico
    Posts
    1,969
    Have you talked to her about it? You can look at it this way, if you don't spend a lot of time with her you'll miss her more and you'll appreciate more the time you spend with her.


    P.S.: You'll have plenty of time to spend with her when you get married
    Edgar V.

    So you don't wanna get big, do you?


    ----------------------------------------

    "If your arm measurement is currently 13 inches, you are worrying about the wrong things. Quit comparing to others, quit worrying about little details, get your ass in the gym, work as hard as you can, then go eat something. Repeat until huge." - Paul Stagg

    "There is no miracle "look good" diet/pill other than determination and commitment" - geoffgarcia

    "Freaking lift to get bigger, or stronger, or better at your damn sport, and quit worrying about weather or not your arm is 16 inches or 16.2 inches." - Paul Stagg

    "If you want to look like Brad Pitt go run a marathon or something." - Severed Ties

  4. #3
    is numero uno Saint Patrick's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    6,557
    Originally posted by EdgarMex
    Have you talked to her about it? You can look at it this way, if you don't spend a lot of time with her you'll miss her more and you'll appreciate more the time you spend with her.


    P.S.: You'll have plenty of time to spend with her when you get married
    Well Said.
    Age:30
    Height: 5'7"
    Weight: Not Big Enough
    ______________________

    “Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.” — Bruce Lee

  5. #4
    A. F.
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    1,577
    not to sound negative, but maybe she is not into you?

    I've had a girl with whom i felt that i was second after a couple years... i've talked to her about it and her explanation wasn't really a good one... we later broke up.

    the way i see it is if you're too bz to have a relationship, don't start one, and if you do start one - put effort in it and make sure your mate is your #1 priority.

  6. #5
    Super Member II zwarrior99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    0
    find something to do yourself!
    Cutting Cycle 02/04'

  7. #6
    Senior Member Ti1301's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    388
    find something to do yourself!
    Yes TO your Self.
    LOL
    Train.

  8. #7
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,193
    Originally posted by zwarrior99
    find something to do yourself!
    i agree, and this is usually the advice i give my female friends with this issue. go out there and live a full life yourself. it sounds like y'all have a schedule already for when you see each other, so go do your own thing. your woman isn't there to complete you, she's there to compliment you.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  9. #8
    Way below radar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Somewhere between cognitive dissonance and the egocentric dilemma
    Posts
    4,375
    Sounds like you are an important part of her life, but not the center of it...which is pretty dam healthy, if you ask me. She's finishing a demanding degree program and making sure that she stays active/takes care of herself, which is going to be good for both of you in the long run.

    Enjoy the time you have together and also enjoy the time you have to yourself.

    I could give all to Time except - except
    What I myself have held. But why declare
    The things forbidden that while the Customs slept
    I have crossed to Safety with? For I am There,
    And what I would not part with I have kept.

    --Robert Frost

  10. #9
    *the ONE the ONLY* BennettBoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Columbia, SC, USA
    Posts
    3,217
    Originally posted by Tryska


    your woman isn't there to complete you, she's there to compliment you.
    Very well said Tina. The same goes for women. A man is there to compliment, not complete. Many times folks who are single think there life is worthless if they have no mate. Unfortunately, you got folks all around telling us that as well as ministers from the pulpits.
    peace-

    Craig

  11. #10
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    23,193
    'cept my mom.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  12. #11
    Senior Member icanrace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    321
    Thanks to all!! Your replys are helping me see things in a different way. If any of you think of anything else to ad, please post it. Tks again.

  13. #12
    Ash "Money" Hegde Y2A's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Miami, FL
    Posts
    4,791
    Enjoy your freedom while you have it buddy, it wont last long I dont want to see you starting any "My wife doesnt give me enough time to myself" posts in a couple years
    "We fight our battles, we wage our wars, we settle the score, with honor and blood" - Atreyu

    Dontate to my favorite charity!

  14. #13
    The English Teacher steveo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    So. Cal
    Posts
    1,409
    I have the same problem. We both work so much and go to school that we only get two maybe if we're lucky three days together. We talk a lot on the phone.
    You have to consider that she is doing all that for the both of you and to better her self. She maybe not happy about it either as much as you miss she misses you. Let her know how much you do miss her and how much she means to you, send flowers to work to let her know you're thinking of her. And on those days you do get to see each other do something special. Take her out on a date and show her a little romance.
    The little things help a lot and the more you make get special and appreciated for all the hard work put in, the more she will want you.
    I know that it gets tough but try to think of all the time you'll get to spend when you get married. Don't let the romance die before you get married.
    "The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die." -Steve Prefontaine

    Motivate a fatty here.

  15. #14
    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    FFFA Headquarters
    Posts
    11,468
    Just talk to her about it.

    Communication is key.
    Founding Member and CEO of the FFFA

    "All that matters is beauty on the inside! Outside beauty doesn't matter!"
    ~This is something ugly people say to feel better about themselves...

    "Strength and size don't matter! It's not fair to judge training knowledge based on strength and size!"
    ~This is something wussy people say to feel better about themselves...

    Pearls of Wisdom...


    Resident Ninja Demon (with a pet Radioactive Sloth) and SchlonkeyMaster of WBB!

    Rock is my 'Big Viking Brother', and not in a homo-esque way.

    And no COLON jokes, bastards!

  16. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Kitchener, ON
    Posts
    11,342
    Originally posted by BennettBoy


    Very well said Tina. The same goes for women. A man is there to compliment, not complete. Many times folks who are single think there life is worthless if they have no mate. Unfortunately, you got folks all around telling us that as well as ministers from the pulpits.
    I think that would be complement, not compliment (though compliments never hurt a relationship either).

    I have been through what you're going through already and the trick is to keep your eyes on the prize; remind yourself and each other that the current situation is not forever, enjoy the time you DO have and make damned sure you keep growing and evolving together.

    What I saw in a lot of cases with other couples, one of whom was a professional, was that the professional grew/evolved through the course of becoming a doctor/lawyer/dentist/etc. and the spouse kinda stagnated.

    In general though, the real difference comes down to how your relationship operates. As adults, we graduate from dependent relationships (as children) into (hopefully) independent relationships. The trick is that when you get into a committed relationship, it needs to be an exercise in INTERdependence, not COdependence. A shocking number of couples I know are essentially codependent... it's kinda sad. Those that aren't are often lopsided, with one dependent and one independent. These kinds of relationships rarely last long.

    When you have a committed, interdependent relationship, you know that you are the most important person in the world to that other person, and you also know and accept that circumstances may sometimes come between you but you have a level of trust and confidence that you will remain the most important overall even if other things take temporal precedence. Being #1 with someone doesn't mean that they have to devote all their time and attention to you...

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •