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Thread: Deeply disturbing personal problem..

  1. #1
    YaRgHHhH~ Stray's Avatar
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    Deeply disturbing personal problem..

    Something came up recently in real life that I could use some opinions on.

    Recently I've had a close female family member come forward and divulge some information to me. When she was younger (maybe 6 or 7 years ago) her mothers boyfriend at the time sexually molested her. She didn't tell anyone and no one really knows about it till now. The offender that did it has since moved in with and started a family with her mom (they now have a son together). Over the years I suppose she learned to forgive the person (or just kept it in the whole time) and has since come to accept him and actually love him like a real father figure.

    Well the years have gone by and now she has a real hard time dealing with it. She breaks down and cries about it often and and has since told me about it. Well she wants to know if she should tell anyone (like her mom or grandmother) She's afraid to because of the uproar it would cause in the family but at the same time she's having a really difficult time keeping it in. She REALLY doesn't want to "rock the boat".

    So now she has come to me and asked me if she should tell her family about it and honestly I don't know.I feel obligated to tell her family about it but it's really her choice to make, not mine.

    I'm hoping a third person perspective might offer some insight.
    -Stray-

    "When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win." - Ed Macauley

    I work out because I have two daughters.....and one day they'll be teenagers.

  2. #2
    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
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    Get her professional help. They will have a better idea of how to help her.
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  3. #3
    Smilies' G Lizzie's Avatar
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    Get in touch with the local rape crisis centre....they'll give you info on counsellors better able to help her deal with this problem, encourage her to call.
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  4. #4
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    someone very close to me had the same problem...although not with a mother's boyfriend...

    She kept it inside for years.....due to the obvious problems it would cause in her family... added to that is the fact is that most of her relatives are Indian and this would be cause her and her family to be "looked down upon".

    I never had a solution for it..... Since she told me, I've been willing to listen to her and reassure her everytime she needs to talk about it.

    Years have passed by, and it has definitely affected her... but she is happy for the most part...and maintains a cheerful, positive outlook on life...

    I asked her to get counseling... but she says given her situation that would be an impossibility....

    When she told me, I felt angry and hopeless. Because I knew that ultimately there wasn't much I could do...

    I wish you and your friend the best of luck.....God knows why these things happen....

    Be there for her and listen to her, if she told you this, she obviously trusts you... this will go a long way in helping her.

  5. #5
    YaRgHHhH~ Stray's Avatar
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    Gotta do some digging to find out who that is and possibly steer her to them. hrmm..
    -Stray-

    "When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win." - Ed Macauley

    I work out because I have two daughters.....and one day they'll be teenagers.

  6. #6
    Banned Berserker's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Gyno Rhino
    Get her professional help. They will have a better idea of how to help her.
    Probably the best advice. How old was she? If she was a child at the time, that really is distrubing. I am not saying its right at any age.

  7. #7
    YaRgHHhH~ Stray's Avatar
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    It has happened several times by several people.Three different people if my memory serves correctly, and these occurred when she was between 6-9.

    One occurance is known within the family the other two are not.
    -Stray-

    "When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win." - Ed Macauley

    I work out because I have two daughters.....and one day they'll be teenagers.

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