Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: An oldy, but goodie, on the wonders of beer!

  1. #1
    Trying to figure this out JohnCollins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    1,336

    An oldy, but goodie, on the wonders of beer!

    Sorry about the carriage returns. Screwed up email paste.

    CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
    Then
    I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
    of
    their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
    of
    work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
    better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
    selfish
    and worry about my liver."
    by Jack Handy
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
    morning,
    that's as ! good as they're going to feel all day. "
    Frank Sinatra
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
    his
    fools."
    Ernest Hemingway
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
    Henny Youngman
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
    Stephen Wright
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
    fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
    Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
    Brian O'Rourke
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    Benjamin Franklin
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
    beer.
    Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
    does
    not go nearly as well with pizza."
    Dave Barry
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
    "Unknown"
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
    Salvation in a can!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    And saving the best for last,
    As explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers
    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
    to
    his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
    Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
    fast
    as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest
    and
    weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection
    is
    good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
    the
    whole group keeps improving by the regular
    killing of the weakest members. "In much the same way, the human brain
    can
    only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
    alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the
    slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption
    of
    beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
    more
    efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
    beers."
    "Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

    Had a good workout on my liver yesterday. Did a pretty high number of reps, but not to complete failure. Liver DOMS today is kinda bad...it has even reached my head! -- ElPietro

    "If I ever found a chick who smelled like gun powder and spent cartridges, I'd run to a jewelry store, rob it, and propose to her with a sack of diamonds. " --Budiak

    "I dance like a drunken white boy. I'm really screwed since I quit drinking." -- PowerManDL

  2. #2
    Senior of Kinesiology
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Penn State
    Posts
    1,900
    LMAO @ Cliff
    Meet PR: 290lb bench press, 505lb dead lift @ 190lbs

    Current Training: Yoga and Weightlifting

    5'11'', Male, 175lbs, age 22

  3. #3
    Banned Praetorian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    7th level
    Posts
    5,014
    bwahhaahahah

    this one needs a mighty BUMP

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •