The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Banned Praetorian's Avatar
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    understanding woman

    For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing
    with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand
    just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule
    applies:Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
    Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any
    points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is
    played.


    Here is a guide to the points system:


    SIMPLE DUTIES
    You make the bed..............................................+1
    You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
    You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
    You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
    When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
    When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
    You go out to buy her extra-light liners with wings.....+5
    in the middle of the night...................................+8
    but return with beer..........................................-5
    and no liners................................................-25
    You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
    You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
    It's her cat.................................................-40


    AT A PARTY
    You stay by her side the entire party............ 0
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
    drinking buddy...............-2
    Named Tiffany....................................-4
    Tiffany is a dancer..............................-10
    With breast implants.............................-18


    HER BIRTHDAY
    You remember her birthday............................... 0
    You buy a card and flowers.............................. 0
    You take her out to dinner.............................. 0
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
    Okay, it is a sports bar................................-2
    And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................-3
    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the
    colors of your favorite team.............-10


    A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
    Go with a pal....................................... 0>
    The pal is happily married..........................+1
    The pal is single...................................-7
    He drives a Ferrari.................................-10
    With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15


    A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
    You take her to a movie...................................+2
    You take her to a movie she likes.........................+4
    You take her to a movie you hate..........................+6
    You take her to a movie you like..........................-2
    It's called Death Cop III.................................-3
    Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....................-9
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15


    YOUR PHYSIQUE
    You develop a noticeable pot belly...............................-15
    You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...+10
    You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
    Hawaiian shirts.................................-30
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."..................-800


    THE BIG QUESTION
    She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
    You hesitate in responding......................-10
    You reply, "Where?".............................-35
    You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"..........-100
    Any other response..............................-20


    COMMUNICATION
    When she wants to talk about a problem:
    You listen, displaying a concerned expression....................0
    You listen, for over 30 minutes..................................+5
    You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.........+50
    Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do
    you think I should do?"..............-100
    You have fallen asleep............................................-200


    ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.......
    You talk.........................................-100
    You don't talk...................................-150
    You spend time with her..........................-200
    You don't spend time with her....................-500
    You are seen to be enjoying yourself.............GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!!



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  3. #2
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    the whole toilet seat thing is crap, why do we have to put it back down? i say she should put it back up!
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

    6'2"
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  4. #3
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    You all should put it down cuz it's the standard position!

    And it drives me nuts-ooo when you guys don't replace the toilet paper roll...... o m g. You can get a new one out and set it on top of the empty one, but you can't replace the empty one.. ugh.

  5. #4
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    hey that drives me nuts too! so ya cant say ALL guys!

    and its not the standard position, (this can get gross) but it goes up for urination which happens more often than defication, so it should stay up!
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

    6'2"
    273 lbs.

  6. #5
    Senior Member flake's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ritzol
    You all should put it down cuz it's the standard position!
    Whys that the standard position? I live in a house mainly of guys and the upstairs toilet is pretty much 90% up, so that'd be the standard position
    half the time I have no idea what you're talking about. the other half, I'm not listening.

  7. #6
    Senior Member flake's Avatar
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    Mrwebb: just seen your post, great minds eh!
    Last edited by flake; 04-14-2003 at 03:35 PM.
    half the time I have no idea what you're talking about. the other half, I'm not listening.

  8. #7
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    ok guys.... when you go into a store that sells toilets and they're on display is the seat up or down? yup yup yup.... down indeed. I guess one can argue it isn't the standard position, it just looks more presentable or decent that way... I dunno. Something about the seat being up just totally grosses me out.

  9. #8
    Senior Member flake's Avatar
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    ah yes but the toilet seats are down completely, ie: that little cover bit too - that just makes it look like you left a messy (and or stinky) one
    Last edited by flake; 04-14-2003 at 03:42 PM.
    half the time I have no idea what you're talking about. the other half, I'm not listening.

  10. #9
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    yeah the seats are down in order to show off the whole display, to make it more marketable, not to say thats how it will look in your own home.

    but now we see where the problem lies....it grosses you out, so it shouldnt be that way? hmmmm
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

    6'2"
    273 lbs.

  11. #10
    Wounded Deadlifter ryan1117's Avatar
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    Guys don't shoot from point blank range. When it is down, it is difficult to....you know.
    5-9 170

  12. #11
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    maybe homes should start to come standard with a pee trough, like at baseball stadiums, im sure THEN women would love to leave the seat up for us
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

    6'2"
    273 lbs.

  13. #12
    P o S e R kAiXuan's Avatar
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    im going to have a urinal at my house
    Last edited by kAiXuan; 04-14-2003 at 03:52 PM.
    -deFenDeRs oF thE unDerRateD

    If it doesnt make dollars, then it doesnt make sense

    I never knew how skinny I was untill I started gaining a little weight

  14. #13
    P o S e R kAiXuan's Avatar
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    its called the back yard
    -deFenDeRs oF thE unDerRateD

    If it doesnt make dollars, then it doesnt make sense

    I never knew how skinny I was untill I started gaining a little weight

  15. #14
    Gymaholic Workhorse's Avatar
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    I put down both the seat and the "lid"... so it doesn't matter, my g/f and I both gotta lift at least one piece to use the toilet. THAT'S THE STANDARD POSITION.
    Check out my Training Journal HERE

    105kg Open IPF Classic Provincial record holder in the squat, bench, deadlift, and total.

  16. #15
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    thats only the standard in someone elses house when you leave a smelly log cabin and think the lid being down will eliminate odor
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

    6'2"
    273 lbs.

  17. #16
    Personal Jesus EdgeCrusher's Avatar
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    i have good aim, so i simply don't worry bout the seat.

  18. #17
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    wow and you dont get the splash effect and have even one drop get on the seat?
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

    6'2"
    273 lbs.

  19. #18
    Senior Member
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    Originally posted by MrWebb78
    wow and you dont get the splash effect and have even one drop get on the seat?
    I'll take the toilet seat up over that anyday. It's really unpleasant in my house when I walk in the bathroom and find dibble dabble splashes all over the seat. In fact.... I'll stand in there and bitch until they come clean it up.

  20. #19
    Personal Jesus EdgeCrusher's Avatar
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    Originally posted by MrWebb78
    wow and you dont get the splash effect and have even one drop get on the seat?
    maybe 1% of the time, very rarely. no hands either.
    Last edited by EdgeCrusher; 04-14-2003 at 07:10 PM.

  21. #20
    Crrrrrrrrrrest!!!!! mikey4402's Avatar
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    i say the seat should be up for SAFTEY reasons. cuz in the middle of the night i shoot first aim second.
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  22. #21
    Banned Berserker's Avatar
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    Just piss in the sink or tub.
    Just had a discussion about this yesterday. I poop multiple times a day, I have never fallen in. How can women fall in so much? Just proves men are superior.

  23. #22
    Grand Kaiser of h8 RG570's Avatar
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    yeah, i just piss in the sink.
    Pup, in reference to me: "he's like Budiak...but worse"

    Budiak: "Statistically I've gained almost an inch on my arms...but thats just theory, and we know what theory gets us. Thats right. Communism."

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  24. #23
    Cardio bunny Alex.V's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ritzol


    I'll take the toilet seat up over that anyday. It's really unpleasant in my house when I walk in the bathroom and find dibble dabble splashes all over the seat. In fact.... I'll stand in there and bitch until they come clean it up.
    Stop posting here and clean the kitchen, woman.
    "Except Belial. He knows everything. This isn't a sarcastic attack, either. He really knows everything." -----Organichu
    "Alex is all knowing and perfect"-----Jane (loosely paraphrased)
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  25. #24
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
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    Fix me a sammitch while you're at it.
    Vin Diesel has a fever.. and the only prescription is more cowbell.

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  26. #25
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    its funny, and i dont understand it a bit, but from multiple female sources ive heard stories about how the womens public restrooms are far more disgusting and "messy" than men's. im just curious how women can get piss and **** on the seat...
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

    6'2"
    273 lbs.

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