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Thread: My Girlfriend

  1. #1
    Senior Member Power-BB's Avatar
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    My Girlfriend

    Well, if you guys haven't kept up or not, but my girlfriend just broke up with me. After being together for 2 and 1/2 years about, she called it quits. It all being my fault but I feel like such an asshole and so depressed that I did this.

    Heres my story:

    We end up dating my Junior year, her being a Sophomore me being a Junior. Ended up going to Homecoming her (we'll call her Maria) her being a Dutchesses and me being Prince that year. It was awesome, things were going great. I consider her being my first true love, even losing my virginity to her and her to I. We were always together, after school, whatever we did we would be together. During wrestling season she became the manager so we would travel together. She would even tell me tips of what I probably did wrong even after I've been wrestling for 4 years and she just beginning to learn that year. During soccer season we both played and thats when I started losing interest. I remember breaking up with her and it being hard. I actually did it because of another girl. A girl that I dated back in 6th grade and ended up going out with for 11 months and not even kissing (we'll call her Lori). Well during all that I just felt out of place. Holding hands with Lori and just being seen with her. I felt out of place. Just couldn't get over being with another girl was compared to Maria.

    Well making plans with Maria for Prom already, I decided to go with her. I ended up enjoying being with her again. Dancing with her and just talking to her was great, even though I was still dating Lori. Lori though ended up getting rip sh!t and even though we made plans to hang out after Prom she just became so frustrated that we didn't. I just didn't want to be around her. Ended up I breaking up with Lori and began dating Maria again.

    To make a long story short, I went out with Maria again broke up a few more times dated a few other people but always ended up going back to her. I always missed her cause no other relationship compared to what I had with her.

    Now to College a few years later, I tried breaking up with Maria before I left cause I knew things were going to be hard (I wouldn't see her in about a year). Ended up she started crying and things got emotion so I still went out with her. Well it ended up I cheating on Maria by kissing a few girls throughout this year. Ended up being the worst decision of my life. She found out through a few friends after i lied and lied about it. Once she found out i told her the truth. Told her I hooked up with a few people this year and it not being anything. No sex, just kissing no emotion involved. (I must sound like such an idiot) anyways we broke up again but this time for good.

    I regret everything that I did. Kissing those girls at college, breaking up with her all the time. I truly do love her and wish her back to me. I told her if she gave me one more chance and if I did anything wrong, she wouldn't have to explain anything to me, and that it would just be over. I made A LOT of mistakes with her and I could see why she wouldn't want anything to do with me. I really think I've learned this time and really do want to be with her. She is my first love and I love her to death. I just wanted to have that attachment with her that I had before.

    Anyways though I realized how sh!tty I treated her. I was such an asshole about everything. I guess i thought about myself too much and didn't respect her the way she should have been treated. She was my lady and I abused our relationship, screwing everything up myself. Her not being the fault of anything. Anyways we've talked and now she told me we are through with dating but atleast wanted to be friends. I must sound like an asshole but i told her I didn't want her sympathy relationship and that she was just doing it cause we had so much together. I told her that things would not be the same and that I still wanted to be with her. Anyways she told me she was through, started cussing at me "that she didn't understand this bull**** and told me to start whining to someone else cause she wasn't going to buy it"

    Anyways though we aren't even friends, I regret everything I did and all I was asking for was one more chance. I truly do feel like such an asshole, so much regret. I've learned some lessons that I will keep for the rest of my life, but wish I really could do it all again. What I did was lust not love cause she is my love. I've cried many times, lost so much sleep, 10 pounds along with screwing up some exams becuase I couldn't think. All during class she is on my mind...

    I really dont' know what to do now. I've screwed up, I want her back but can't. I need advice. I'm soo depressed now about all this. Don't know what to do really.....I'm stuck
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  2. #2
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    well suck it up buttercup.

    from a woman's perspective, you're absolutely right. you were an asshole. but that's what teenage years are all about. maybe from now on, you'll be better at recognizing a good thing when you have it, and not screw it up.

    let her go. you didn't do right by her, and it's not fair of you to think you can now, because what you've put her through will always be in her mind. let her go, and look forward, to the new Miss Right that will cvome your way, and try not to screw it up when it does.
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  3. #3
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    I'm with T, mate...

    maybe now would be a good time to be single for a while and sort yourself out -- without getting all psych-studenty on you, the behavior pattern you're descibing seems to indicate some underlying issues

    find yourself, find your centre, and the rest will come

  4. #4
    Senior Member Power-BB's Avatar
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    I guess I cheated on her during college because I wasn't going to see her for another year. It wasn't like i screwed anyone either, I just kissed a couple girls and that was my justification (no matter how stupid it was) I think my problem was, was just being a horndog
    Last edited by Power-BB; 05-01-2003 at 10:47 AM.
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  5. #5
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    That's what masturbation is for, brotha. If you love someone you'll love yourself.

  6. #6
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    Originally posted by Power-BB
    I guess I cheated on her during college because I wasn't going to see her for another year. It wasn't like i screwed anyone either, I just kissed a couple girls and that was my justification (no matter how stupid it was) I think my problem was, was just being a horndog
    Sex is secondary to emotional commitment in an actual relationship.

    And you clearly betrayed that commitment. I mean, you can rationalize all you want, but if she wasn't important enough to be faithful to when it wasn't convenient why is it suddenly different now?

  7. #7
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    no point rationalizing it. what you did was outside of the bounds of the relationship she believed you and she had.

    i mean it would be one thing if y'all agreed to see different people and she had an active choice to stay with you regardless of who you were kissing, feeling up, shagging, whatever line you choose to draw, but you robbed her of that choice. ergo, you lose.

    i agree with callahan as well. now would be a good time to be alone and sort out your issues, and shag whomever you want to or whatever. commitment is wasted on the under 25 set.
    Last edited by Tryska; 05-01-2003 at 10:51 AM.
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  8. #8
    teh Chuy. Frozenmoses's Avatar
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  9. #9
    Senior Member Avatar's Avatar
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    Originally posted by galileo
    That's what masturbation is for, brotha. If you love someone you'll love yourself.
    lmao..
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Power-BB's Avatar
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    I agree, I shouldn't rationalize anything. I was wrong about it. I'm thinking of writing her an e-mail (seems like I always regret everything I do afterwards) and telling her that I want to be her friend and the reason I was acting like such a jerk was because it was just heart breaking news.

    It really did feel good to tell you guys atleast of my situation. I've learned a lot of myself, of her and of life from this whole experience. I wish I could have learned it some other way but things happen. Hopefully she'll be able to forgive me for being a punk.
    Last edited by Power-BB; 05-01-2003 at 11:19 AM.
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  11. #11
    Banned Praetorian's Avatar
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    theres no need to beg. accept the fact that you ****ed it up pretty darn good. do you really believe that she'll just 'forget' everything and start all over again anew? That only happens in the movies dude.

    take it like a man. it builds character.
    Last edited by Relentless; 05-01-2003 at 11:23 AM.

  12. #12
    Ash "Money" Hegde Y2A's Avatar
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    Once you violate trust in a relationship, its never the same. Galilieo's advice was put in a humerous way, but its good advice...
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  13. #13
    skinny white boy
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    Well you couldn't have cared about her too much if you went outside the relationship to, kiss other girls? Why bother? lol.

    If you "have" to get her back you could prolly spin it well...say that you just kissed the girls because you missed being with her...you needed some kind of affection. And you didn't go any further cuz you cared for her too much. and now you deeply regret it. and dont feel to bad, cuz chances are she's done the same as you or more.

    Although personally I think you should just cut it off 100%...no talking to her at all. cuz the feelings are gonna be there. find a new dog too. and bone her.

    and i think you're pretty young? dont get so close to a girl next time. it almost always backfires, cuz young girls are ditz balls that dunno what they want in general. find a cool girl you like, have fun with her, and see what happens. maybe it actually will be the one you spend the rest of your life with...but prolly not.

    and wank.

  14. #14
    Banned Praetorian's Avatar
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    Last edited by Centaurion; 05-01-2003 at 12:27 PM.

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    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
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    I'm with T and Cal.
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  16. #16
    chronic overtrainer
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    You probably love the memories of Maria and the thoughts you had for her before more than her and the realtiy of her. If you kept breaking up , the relationship was most likely already sour. Human nature dictates that as time passes we tend to forget the negative and become focused on the positive memories. With time our brains play games and the good memories become stronger, the bad memories weaker. It is a survival mechanism. Most likely these good memories and feelings you have for Maria exist in a stronger state in your memeory and brain than in the reality of the outside world. All the valid negative things about her and your relationship that caused problems to begin with are still there, you have just diminished them in your mind and memory. If you were to reunite the same old problems would suface and you would remember why it didn't work the first time. Again if you think hard about it and try to focus on the negative memories associatyed with her and your relationship with her rather than only the positive that will help you to see why and to accept the way things are now. Both you and she are better off without one another.
    Last edited by sweet-physique; 05-01-2003 at 12:42 PM.
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    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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  18. #18
    Senior Member Power-BB's Avatar
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    Originally posted by sweet-physique
    You probably love the memories of Maria and the thoughts you had for her before more than her and the realtiy of her. If you kept breaking up , the relationship was most likely already sour. Human nature dictates that as time passes we tend to forget the negative and become focused on the positive memories. With time our brains play games and the good memories become stronger, the bad memories weaker. It is a survival mechanism. Most likely these good memories and feelings you have for Maria exist in a stronger state in your memeory and brain than in the reality of the outside world. All the valid negative things about her and your relationship that caused problems to begin with are still there, you have just diminished them in your mind and memory. If you were to reunite the same old problems would suface and you would remember why it didn't work the first time. Again if you think hard about it and try to focus on the negative memories associatyed with her and your relationship with her rather than only the positive that will help you to see why and to accept the way things are now. Both you and she are better off without one another.
    Thats pretty interesting. I mean after 2 1/2 years I'm just in denial. I want things to be different, I want to not care but do...
    Last edited by Power-BB; 05-01-2003 at 01:03 PM.
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  19. #19
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    Originally posted by Rock
    God gave you women, satan gave you mastrubation, you just have to be a satanist for a while .
    lol rock, class.
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  20. #20
    Senior Member Power-BB's Avatar
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    You guys really don't understand...Maybe it's just me being depressed but I really do love this girl and want her back. You don't understand what she means to me
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  21. #21
    Simply Devious Rastaman's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Power-BB
    You guys really don't understand...Maybe it's just me being depressed but I really do love this girl and want her back. You don't understand what she means to me
    Then do whatever it takes to win her back. If you can't, then you'll have to move on whether you want to or not.
    "The only sin which we never forgive in each other is difference of opinion."
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    Word.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Power-BB's Avatar
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    Yeah I mean I just hate that you guys are like "move on." I don't think I'm going to move on and give it a few more tries. I'm a fighter, not a loser
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  23. #23
    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
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    Go rent the movie "Say Anything..."

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  24. #24
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    Power-BB...you dont deserve her. sorry buddy, but i think the problem is she has woken up to that fact. and here's some food for thought...even if you could convince her to take you back, shed probably resent you for it some day when history did what it does best, which would be repeat itself.

    and ace dogg...

    Originally posted by ace dogg
    [B]If you "have" to get her back you could prolly spin it well...say that you just kissed the girls because you missed being with her...you needed some kind of affection. And you didn't go any further cuz you cared for her too much. and now you deeply regret it. and dont feel to bad, cuz chances are she's done the same as you or more.
    B]
    ...well don't you just sound like quite a catch. grow up, buddy. a relationship is not about spinning it. if you need to spin something, chances are you dont give a **** about your partner, and have no business wasting their time.

  25. #25
    Lord Kel Masters Sayiajin Prince's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Gyno Rhino
    Go rent the movie "Say Anything..."

    Imitate.

    If you get arrested for stalking, don't blame me. Blame Cusack.
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