The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Banned Praetorian's Avatar
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    the five toughest questions women ask...

    The five toughest questions women ask - and their answers According to Sassy magazine, the five questions are:

    "What are you thinking?"
    "Do you love me?"
    "Do I look fat?"
    "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
    "What would you do if I died?"
    What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:

    1. "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."

    Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

    Baseball
    Football
    How fat you are.
    How much prettier she is than you.
    How he would spend the insurance money if you died.
    According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:

    2. "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear."

    Wrong answers include:

    I suppose so.
    Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
    That depends on what you mean by "love".
    Does it matter?
    Who, me?
    3. "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room.

    Wrong answers include:

    I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
    Compared to what?
    A little extra weight looks good on you.
    I've seen fatter.
    Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.
    4. "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were starring at so hard that you almost caused a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier."

    Wrong answers include:

    Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
    I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
    Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
    Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
    Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.
    5. "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way."

    This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

    "Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
    "Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"
    "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife."No, of couse not, dear" said the husband.
    "Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
    "Of course I do, dear" he said.
    "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
    "All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
    "You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
    "Yes" said the husband.
    "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.
    "Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
    "I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"
    "I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
    "Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
    "Yes . . . I think that would be the correct thing to do."
    "Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too?"
    "Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."

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  3. #2
    Senior Member GhettoSmurf's Avatar
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    lol
    "Eat until it hurts dammit! Then eat more. Youll get used to it. I think its like sex for a chick. Sure it hurts the first time, but after a couple rides it just goes in like a glove." -clvmike19

    "... chicks are like smarties. They're different colors but each share the same deliciousness. Its just a matter of deciding if you'll save the red ones for last or eat a bunch of different ones in the same handful." -wibble

  4. #3
    Newd poster SquareHead's Avatar
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    Nice. Long but funny.
    Old Journal


    " I'd give up a pinky or a toe or something I don't need those"
    -PwrMajt:

    "Remember, as long as you don't kick them in the head or use a weapon, it's only a misdemeanor." -JustinASU

    I nominate this thread for the Tim Nissen Award! -El P

  5. #4
    Cardio bunny Alex.V's Avatar
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    Funny, but cliched. I think the only one I've EVER been asked is the first.
    "Except Belial. He knows everything. This isn't a sarcastic attack, either. He really knows everything." -----Organichu
    "Alex is all knowing and perfect"-----Jane (loosely paraphrased)
    -515/745/700 bench/deadlift/squat
    Current mile time: 4:23
    Marathons: 3
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  6. #5
    Administrator chris mason's Avatar
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    It is funny the difference. Some time ago my wife and I were discussing what would happen if things didn't work out with us. She said that she would not remarry and would basically stay away from men. I said "yeah right, you would meet another guy and live happily ever after".

    Quite a difference, eh?

  7. #6
    Senior Member
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    Originally posted by Belial
    Funny, but cliched. I think the only one I've EVER been asked is the first.
    thats because the first one is a wonderful question. that never goes anywhere. but it could. it has potential!!

    and i think you may have asked that first one yourself in the past, too.

  8. #7
    Newd poster SquareHead's Avatar
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    Ya number 1 is the best. I always say nothing or make something up. Usually Im thinking something completely off the wall.
    Old Journal


    " I'd give up a pinky or a toe or something I don't need those"
    -PwrMajt:

    "Remember, as long as you don't kick them in the head or use a weapon, it's only a misdemeanor." -JustinASU

    I nominate this thread for the Tim Nissen Award! -El P

  9. #8
    Do that voodoo that he do
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    Originally posted by Just some girl



    and i think you may have asked that first one yourself in the past, too.
    Ka-POW!!!


  10. #9
    ----------- J450n's Avatar
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    Originally posted by SquareHead
    Ya number 1 is the best. I always say nothing or make something up. Usually Im thinking something completely off the wall.
    Why's the sky blue? The grass green? Who put's all the little m's on M&M's? That sort of thing
    Last edited by J450n; 06-14-2003 at 03:38 PM.
    I'm not moaning, i'm having an opinion.

  11. #10
    Newd poster SquareHead's Avatar
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    Na probably something like I wonder if were gonna do it or like oh man I've had this same pair of boxers on last night I wonder if she will notice.
    Old Journal


    " I'd give up a pinky or a toe or something I don't need those"
    -PwrMajt:

    "Remember, as long as you don't kick them in the head or use a weapon, it's only a misdemeanor." -JustinASU

    I nominate this thread for the Tim Nissen Award! -El P

  12. #11
    Banned Reinier's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Belial
    Funny, but cliched. I think the only one I've EVER been asked is the first.
    Damn. Your lucky. I`m like ****** years younger than you and i got asked like all 5.

    Its kinda like getting arresting with a kilo of dope in turkey. it doesn`t matter what the hell you do, your screwed
    Last edited by Reinier; 06-14-2003 at 05:25 PM.

  13. #12
    Wannabebig Member
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    lol those are funny! "do I look fat?" guys always tell her a diff color would look better on her or simply "no you look wonderful"

  14. #13
    BODYLICIOUS BABE Celestial's Avatar
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    I have never asked the am i fat one, I already know the answer! lol
    WHEN LIFE ****S YOU IN THE ASS, YOU GOTTA JUST TURN IT AROUND AND **** IT RIGHT BACK!!!!!! - ME

    I am a fatass thank you very much! LOL

    Bodylicious Babe


    My max bench is @110 x 8

  15. #14
    the lil engine that could chops's Avatar
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    Re: the five toughest questions women ask...

    Originally posted by Centaurion
    The five toughest questions women ask - and their answers According to Sassy magazine, the five questions are:

    "What are you thinking?"
    "Do you love me?"
    "Do I look fat?"
    "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
    "What would you do if I died?"

    a girl's perspective - ----
    why i don't need to ask:

    --i don't care what he thinks. it only matters what i think. MMEMEMMEMEMEEMMEMEMEMeeee
    heh..ok i will only ask if it appears that something is bothering him bc i'm so sweet n' considerate. i do not ask out of insecurity.

    --of course he loves me. what's not to love?

    --if i think i'm fat, then i'm fat. if i think i look hot, then i'm hot. why let someone else define how u feel 'bout yourself? also if i'm 50 lbs over my rec'd weight and he says "no honey, u look great", that doesn't really change the fat (uh FACT i mean) that i've got extra layers. ppl who are fat, they know they are fat and are just trying to makes themselves feel better by believing what they want to. oblivion is bliss, however personally i prefer to be aware of the 'matrix'.

    -- he would mourn me forever and pretend that the new 'she' is MEMEMMEMEMEeeee. (ok..maybe i'm a little in oblivion here)

    i hate sassy mag.

  16. #15
    Mighty Wingman p_t's Avatar
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    There is no spoon.
    "Why is there always time to do things twice, but never time to do things right?"

  17. #16
    Banned Reinier's Avatar
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    *smacks pt over the head with the spoon*

    u sure

  18. #17
    Mighty Wingman p_t's Avatar
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    "Why is there always time to do things twice, but never time to do things right?"

  19. #18
    Lord Kel Masters Sayiajin Prince's Avatar
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    lmao
    "The whole jedi thing was just not compatible with my lifestyle. My master was jelous he was always holding me back, -"be mindfull of the future, but live in the present"- what the hell does that mean? I even got my arm cut off...it just sucked. So i switched to the dark side and i havent looked back once...Now i am shooting lightning from my fingertips, choking people over the phone, i even get to wear a cape.....its just boss. My name is Anikin skywalker and i am a sith lord."

    "i have the sex drive of 10 rabbits on viagra"

    age: 19
    height: 5'8'' (im lieing its probably 5'7'')
    weight: 159-165 lbs (morning and day)
    bodyfat: 8.6
    bench:315
    squat:405
    Deadlift:500

    goals for end of the year 405/500/600 at 170-175(with the 8pack)

    other: dips 3 and a quarter plates for 4 reps

  20. #19
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    Re: Re: the five toughest questions women ask...

    Originally posted by chops


    a girl's perspective - ----
    why i don't need to ask:

    --i don't care what he thinks. it only matters what i think. MMEMEMMEMEMEEMMEMEMEMeeee
    heh..ok i will only ask if it appears that something is bothering him bc i'm so sweet n' considerate. i do not ask out of insecurity.

    --of course he loves me. what's not to love?

    --if i think i'm fat, then i'm fat. if i think i look hot, then i'm hot. why let someone else define how u feel 'bout yourself? also if i'm 50 lbs over my rec'd weight and he says "no honey, u look great", that doesn't really change the fat (uh FACT i mean) that i've got extra layers. ppl who are fat, they know they are fat and are just trying to makes themselves feel better by believing what they want to. oblivion is bliss, however personally i prefer to be aware of the 'matrix'.

    -- he would mourn me forever and pretend that the new 'she' is MEMEMMEMEMEeeee. (ok..maybe i'm a little in oblivion here)

    i hate sassy mag.


    lol...nice.
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  21. #20
    the lil engine that could chops's Avatar
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    Originally posted by p_t
    There is no spoon.
    <burp> i'm full

  22. #21
    Ex-Mod Jane's Avatar
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    Re: the five toughest questions women ask...

    Originally posted by Centaurion
    The five toughest questions women ask - and their answers According to Sassy magazine, the five questions are:

    "What are you thinking?"
    Ok, let's just clear something up here. That question...my god, that question. I have a very, very good guy friend whom I love dearly but he spent ALL of last summer asking me that EVERY DAY, usually two or three times a day. It was as regular to him as "hello jane", and if I was quiet for half a millisecond, it was "Jane, what are you thinking?"

    At first I usually had good, creative answers, but after three weeks I was ready to randomly run around screaming "Nothing! NOTHING! Mahahahaha!"

    So it's not just girls. But if your girlfriend is like this....I feel for ya.
    "Then on leg day do squats, lunges, stiff legged deadlifts, fluffernutters, and calf raises."--Belial, training a newbie

    PowermanDL on Russian culture: "Big furry hats come into play somewhere."

    "The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." --Thomas Paine

  23. #22
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    cent: why were you reading sassy magazine anyways
    usually what i tell my boyfriend to do is "gimme kiss!"
    i usually dont ask what hes thinking.. unless he has been pondering for a long time and im wondering whats up
    and fat? hah i would never ask that. ever
    prettier than me? no im afraid the answer is always yes
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  24. #23
    Banned Praetorian's Avatar
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    sassy magazine is

  25. #24
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    Played Out

  26. #25
    Mind Over Matter Monster Muscle's Avatar
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    i hate that what are you thinking b.s. question. i think it's your thought and she doesn't need to know, otherwise you would have told her!
    "If you have a 10-horsepower motor and you subject it to a 12-horsepower load, it will burn out. But when you have a human body that is the equivalent of a 10-horsepower motor and you subject it to a 12-horsepower load, it eventually becomes a 12-horsepower motor."
    -Dr. L.G.

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