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Thread: BloodNinja Cyber...<old>...LOL

  1. #1
    Fighting Genetics AdamGberg's Avatar
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    BloodNinja Cyber...<old>...LOL

    for you guys who missed it, cuz the original site took it down....long, old, but funny...kindda like your grandpa's ****...

    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
    Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
    Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
    Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca: you like that?
    Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca: /ignore
    Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a ***** anyway.
    Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

    ---------------

    Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKateK, but don't tell anybody
    DirtyKate:Who are you?
    Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
    Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
    Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
    Bloodninja:How did you know?
    Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKateooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate:What the f**k?
    DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t
    DirtyKate:F**k

    ------------------

    Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
    Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
    MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
    Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    MommyMelissa: is that it?
    Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
    MommyMelissa: ...
    Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
    MommyMelissa: whatever.

    -------

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't **** with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    ----------------

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They ******* charge your ***.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ***.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: **** am I hard now.

    -------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA:
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA: OheminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

    ------------


    sweet17: Hi
    bloodninja: hello
    bloodninja: who is this?
    sweet17: just a someone?
    bloodninja: A someone I know?
    sweet17: nope
    bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    sweet17: well sorrrrrry
    sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
    bloodninja: why?
    sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
    bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
    sweet17: yes?
    bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
    sweet17: paranoid?
    bloodninja: yes
    sweet17: of what?
    sweet17: me?
    bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
    sweet17: LOL
    bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
    bloodninja: This **** is serious!
    sweet17: What are you hiding from?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: gimme a ******* break
    bloodninja: I'm serious.
    sweet17: I don't get it
    bloodninja: The cops are after me.
    sweet17: For what?
    bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
    sweet17: For???
    bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
    bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You are ******* sick.
    bloodninja: Send me your picture.
    sweet17: why?
    bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
    sweet17: One of what?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
    bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
    sweet17: hold on
    bloodninja: Hurry up.
    bloodninja: Are you there?
    bloodninja: **** you, cop!
    sweet17: Hey sorry
    sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
    bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    bloodninja: Weren't you!?
    sweet17: thats not it
    bloodninja: Then what?
    sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
    bloodninja: Most cops aren't
    sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
    bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
    sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
    bloodninja: Just send it through here.
    sweet17: alright *PIC*
    sweet17: Did you get it?
    bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
    sweet17: That was me back in may
    sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
    bloodninja: I hope so
    sweet17: what?!?
    sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
    bloodninja: Did it?
    sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
    bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    sweet17: yes
    bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
    sweet17: kks
    bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    sweet17: this isn't you.
    bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
    sweet17: You don't look like that.
    bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
    sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
    bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
    bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
    sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
    bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
    bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
    sweet17: Go **** yourself
    bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
    bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
    sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
    sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
    sweet17: you hurt me.
    bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
    sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
    bloodninja: Why would I do that?
    sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
    bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    sweet17: **** YOU!!!
    bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
    sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
    sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
    sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
    bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: No you aren't
    bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
    bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
    sweet17: I'm done with you
    bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
    bloodninja: Wait a sec
    bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
    bloodninja: Wanna start over?
    sweet17: No
    bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
    sweet17: You'll what?
    bloodninja: You heard me.
    bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
    sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
    bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
    sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
    bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
    sweet17: Like what?
    bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
    sweet17: I don't know
    bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
    sweet17: I'm afraid to
    bloodninja: Why?
    sweet17: cause
    bloodninja: cause why?
    sweet17: well lets see
    sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
    bloodninja: Nope
    sweet17: well its strange to me
    bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
    sweet17: I didn't say that
    bloodninja: So is that a yes?
    sweet17: I guess so.
    bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    bloodninja: Are you willing?
    sweet17: What do you need me to do?
    bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
    sweet17: ???
    bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
    bloodninja: ok?
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You can't be serious
    bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
    bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
    sweet17: this is retarded
    bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
    sweet17: Yes I want it.
    bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
    sweet17: sure
    bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
    bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
    bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
    sweet17: mmmm yeah
    bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
    sweet17: Har
    bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
    bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
    sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
    bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
    bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: HARRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: this is stupid
    bloodninja: ...still limp
    bloodninja: Do it!
    sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
    bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
    bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
    sweet17: WTF?!?!?
    bloodninja: They stink really bad.
    sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
    bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
    sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
    bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
    bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
    sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
    bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
    bloodninja: ...going limp again.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    bloodninja: Say it!
    bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!






    __________


    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Can I help?

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?

    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

    Sweetheart: ASSHOLE!
    "Don't take life too serious, you'll never get out alive."-Van Wilder

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Those are hilarious. Sweet 17 had me laughing pretty hard.

  3. #3
    Mystic Eric
    Guest
    HAHAHHHHAHAHAHAAHAH I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Where did you find that? hahahaha

  4. #4
    Fighting Genetics AdamGberg's Avatar
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    about a month ago it was on some other board but they had so many views it shut them down, just popped up on this other board i lurk around (stuntlife.com) i like motorcycles...

    i think a few of the original ones are gone, but it is still hillarious everytime i read them!

    Enjoy!
    "Don't take life too serious, you'll never get out alive."-Van Wilder

  5. #5
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    LOL!!!!!
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  6. #6
    A$$hole detector RoidRage's Avatar
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    LMAO!!! sweet 17 and the first britney were the best! All hilarious!!

  7. #7
    Fighting Genetics AdamGberg's Avatar
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    :evillaugh
    "Don't take life too serious, you'll never get out alive."-Van Wilder

  8. #8
    Grand Kaiser of h8 RG570's Avatar
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    absolutley brilliant. i will be stealing these lines, and trying them out, thank you.
    Pup, in reference to me: "he's like Budiak...but worse"

    Budiak: "Statistically I've gained almost an inch on my arms...but thats just theory, and we know what theory gets us. Thats right. Communism."

    BigChaseyChase: "Cutting, there will not be!"

    sir millard mulch: "I could probably punch some chick really hard at this point"

    Galileo - "Someday maybe I'll be able to use the big boy weights like RG570."

  9. #9
    Champion of the World Jeebus's Avatar
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    That last one was bloody hilarious. he picks up the bra and asks how she did that. lol
    Making love to Mother Thumb and her four daughters.

    Join My Odyssey

    They're old enough to drive they're old enough to get driven. - VitalRemains
    Mmmmm twins. Double the pleasure double the fun, look out girls cause here I come! - VR Again
    From the pages of our Lord and Savior, Jeebus :alcoholic

  10. #10
    Fighting Genetics AdamGberg's Avatar
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    women are tricky creatures wearing tricky bras! i just squeeze the clasp and hope for the right combination...too bad life isn't a porno! my summer job as a poll guy a few summers ago would been hella better!
    "Don't take life too serious, you'll never get out alive."-Van Wilder

  11. #11
    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
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    That is wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
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    Pearls of Wisdom...


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  12. #12
    Reborn hero Sinep's Avatar
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    I was laughing out loud at sweet17 lol
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  13. #13
    Newd poster SquareHead's Avatar
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    OMG ok thats just friggin too funny. Dont laugh outloud at the computer too often but I just did for sure!!!!! Good post
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  14. #14
    zen idiot Scott S's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO!! This is awesome! :evillaugh

  15. #15
    Fighting Genetics AdamGberg's Avatar
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    i am to please...and laughing burns calories and adds time on to your life and gets chicks and is cool and is fun and means you have a big.....

    *bows out
    "Don't take life too serious, you'll never get out alive."-Van Wilder

  16. #16
    Senior Member
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    Lol omg
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    R.I.P Devie

  17. #17
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    I know it's old but i had to bump this thread. It's ****ing hilarious

  18. #18
    teh Chuy. Frozenmoses's Avatar
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    Oh... my... god. I missed this jewel the first time around. I was laughing so hard reading Sweet17's that my roommates had to come see if I was okay. Pure freaking gold.

    bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
    sweet17: WTF?!?!?
    bloodninja: They stink really bad.
    sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
    bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
    sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
    bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
    bloodninja: I kick you in the face!

  19. #19
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    sweet17: That was me back in may
    sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
    bloodninja: I hope so
    lol.

  20. #20
    Mostly healed up! PizDoff's Avatar
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    Hmmm, old thread at that.
    The original board took it down?

  21. #21
    Teh kleptomaniac VasDeferens's Avatar
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    this is great

  22. #22
    Senior Member GrumpyTX's Avatar
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    I read them about a year ago. Still hilarious.

    HARRRRR
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  23. #23
    Bulking Sith Knight Stephen Riddington's Avatar
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    LMAO!!! One of the funniest thread on this board.
    You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'-Homer Simpson
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  24. #24
    Fury Divine RickTheDestroyer's Avatar
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    Do you have any scissors?

    CLASSIC.

  25. #25
    back at it Beast's Avatar
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    LOL, I love the wizard one. bwahahahahahahhahahaha

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