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Thread: Funny Ways To Order A Pizza

  1. #1
    Hmmmm..... Spiderman's Avatar
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    Funny Ways To Order A Pizza

    Check this funny $hit out.

    1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

    2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

    3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

    4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

    5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

    6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

    7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

    8. Answer their questions with questions.

    9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

    10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.

    11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

    12. Sing the order to the tune of Van Morrison's "Brown-Eyed Girl."

    13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

    14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

    15. Stutter on the letter "p."

    16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

    17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

    18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

    19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

    20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

    21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

    22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

    23. Change your accent every three seconds.

    24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

    25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

    26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

    27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

    28. Rent a pizza.

    29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

    30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

    31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

    32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

    33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

    34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

    35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

    36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

    37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

    38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

    39. Play a sitar in the background.

    40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

    41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

    42. Ask to see a menu.

    43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

    44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

    45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

    46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

    47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

    48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

    49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

    50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

    51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

    52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

    53. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

    54. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

    55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

    56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

    57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

    58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Holy pizza toppings, Batman!"

    59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

    60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

    61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

    62. Try to talk while drinking something.

    63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

    64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

    65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

    66. Be vague in your order.

    67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

    68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

    69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

    70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

    71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

    72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

    73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

    74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

    75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

    76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

    77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

    78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

    79. Put them on hold.

    80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

    81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

    82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

    83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

    84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

    85. Haggle.

    86. Order a one-inch pizza.

    87. Order term life insurance.

    88. When they say "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

    89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

    90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

    91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

    92. Engage in some serious swapping.

    93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

    94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

    95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

    96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

    97. Order a steamed pizza.

    98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

    99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

    100. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker...Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

    "Success is never behind you, it is always, always in front of you."

  2. #2
    Mystic Eric
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    hahah that's some good shiat.

  3. #3
    Gaglione Strength Chris Rodgers's Avatar
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    Spidey= funny mofo!
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  4. #4
    Meathead Philosopher Pup's Avatar
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    LMAO
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  5. #5
    Senior Member c_8nOM's Avatar
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    HAhaha
    funny guy..
    I should try this on my cheat day... or .... since i'm bulking. .tonite?? lol

  6. #6
    Voted most hardcore guru
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    Real good ****. I especially like #82 and #83

  7. #7
    Proud Father Maki Riddington's Avatar
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    That was too funny.
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    So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
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  8. #8
    Wannabebig Member Podium Kreatin's Avatar
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    is this what ppl do during their time off from lifting?
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  9. #9
    eek... it's lil' Fixation! fixationdarknes's Avatar
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    Sorry, I just had to bring up this old thread again. ROFL that was hilarious! I laughed so hard...wow.
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatrb38
    I try to visualize that my girlfriend is under the weight and I have to push the weight up to save her. Of course it doesn't work and I just laugh as I think about the weight slowly crushing her bones. Then I remember it's me under the weight and give 200% effort to push it back up.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    i thought it was funny 2, this thread p00nz.

  11. #11
    Senior Member
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    strange thought, this thread 'ended' a week before 9/11

  12. #12
    Senior Member Canadian Crippler's Avatar
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    How is that strange?
    "I added some db curls with the pink weights for a bit of a burn." - Rookiebldr

    "im assuming the holy (big) 3 are: curls, bench, legs?" - Saggas

    "had a huge ass burn on my triceps while I was doing those kickbacks, so they'll likely be staying with my exercise program." - Zearoth

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    "Damn man why are some women just so demonic and evil.. its like you wanna get a stake and mallet and an erection at the same time." - WBBIRL

  13. #13
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    Haha hilarious.

  14. #14
    Formerly Nick Hatfield SW's Avatar
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    That's good. He doesn't know what he's subjected dominos to.
    "You can take control of my mind and my body, but there is one thing a Saiyan always keeps.... his PRIDE!"- Vegeta

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  15. #15
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    I think it's funny that Spiderman used to be called "SPideyongear'

    Dork.
    Out of the night that covers me,Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In The fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
    Twitter: @joshuagbsn Follow me as I laugh at the world, and you.

  16. #16
    eek... it's lil' Fixation! fixationdarknes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Canadian Crippler
    How is that strange?
    Your mom goes to college.
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    Age: 20, Height: 5'7", Weight: 165, Deadlift: 405, 9.5" Squat: 230 x 10, Bench: 195 (3x5)

    Quote Originally Posted by fatrb38
    I try to visualize that my girlfriend is under the weight and I have to push the weight up to save her. Of course it doesn't work and I just laugh as I think about the weight slowly crushing her bones. Then I remember it's me under the weight and give 200% effort to push it back up.

  17. #17
    Hmmmm..... Spiderman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nevermore
    I think it's funny that Spiderman used to be called "SPideyongear'

    Dork.
    hahaha.....



    Bite me.

    "Success is never behind you, it is always, always in front of you."

  18. #18
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    i dunno if you guys know this but me and my friends always call pizza places and take as long as possible... after a certain time limit on the phone, i cant remember i think its like 10 minutes, if you ask to see the manager they will always offer you a free pizza because its store policy (i think domino's).

    the easiest way to do it is to say that last time you ordered from them they burned your pizza and that when you called and complained they would grant you a free pizza the next time you ordered (which is the present order) it works everytime.
    Last edited by monotone; 03-25-2005 at 03:14 PM.
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  19. #19
    eek... it's lil' Fixation! fixationdarknes's Avatar
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    Hey, monotone, isn't that a little shallow and cheap? tuttut

    Last edited by fixationdarknes; 03-25-2005 at 03:36 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatrb38
    I try to visualize that my girlfriend is under the weight and I have to push the weight up to save her. Of course it doesn't work and I just laugh as I think about the weight slowly crushing her bones. Then I remember it's me under the weight and give 200% effort to push it back up.

  20. #20
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    yeah i would say it is, but since i dont actually eat the pizza i dont say it has much to do with me, but i just know it works
    age: 19
    MY RAW LIFTS
    OLD.........................................Current
    weight: 190..............................206
    Bench Press: 300lbs.......................?????
    Squat: 450lbs...............................?????
    Deadlift: 475..................................????
    Power Clean: 285lbs.......................?????

  21. #21
    Wannabebig New Member HahnB's Avatar
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    Have you ever known anyone that works at a pizza place? I wouldn't do any of that unless you want some pubes under your pepperoni lol.

  22. #22
    Senior Member bigpoppapump979's Avatar
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    wow i would not recommend doing any of the above things on the phone with a pizza place...thats the best way to get jizz in your pizza and have it...well nm.
    lets just say i never order from a particular pizza place because my friend works there

  23. #23
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    Right. Like noone will notice you going into the bathroom with a pizza.
    Out of the night that covers me,Black as the Pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In The fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate how charged with punishments the scroll,I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
    Twitter: @joshuagbsn Follow me as I laugh at the world, and you.

  24. #24
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
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    Dude that's why you turn invisible first
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  25. #25
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    that reminds me of a calvin and hobbes where someone calls calvin's house, and calvin picks up and goes, "hi i'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza", and the guy is like, "wha.. what?" and then calvin goes, "oh sorry, you must have the wrong number"

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