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Thread: 23 years old and lost

  1. #1
    Skinny not scronny Stabber's Avatar
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    23 years old and lost

    I feel like I am running out of time for "life" and I missed the train to somewhere .... I'm 23 and I've found myself all alone. It doesnt help I live in a small town. I also live with my parents still because I am in school. If I get done I will have an associates in computer info systems. I havent been on a date since March and I havent bought any new clothes since last summer. When I was 16, I thought I would have a house, kids and wife by the time I was 23. I'm starting to wonder if any of those things will happen. Several of my friends are married already and a few have moved out of state. My last serious relationship was 2 years ago. With a girl named Kate. I was with her for 3 years before she decided having fun at college was more important than the relationship. The only thing I have going for me is that I've kept the same job for 2.5 years (health inspector) and my computer certifications. I've had some really good opportunities for great jobs. But I never got passed the 2nd interview(s). Now the economy sucks even worst and I feel like I will never fall into the job I want. Some snotty people here at work look down at me because they think I'm some 18 year old punk. I have only 1 friend I hang out with now. The rest are too busy with their families or they are too immature for me. I dont like to drink so I dont hit bars. I guess I would feel better if I had either a really good job or a serious girlfriend...I feel like the potential I have right now is just rotting away and if I don't use it soon it will be gone forever
    don't know what to do...
    Last edited by Stabber; 10-14-2003 at 03:19 PM.

  2. #2
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    while you're feeling sorry for yourself - just think many of those wonderfully coupled up married friends of yours? they're gonna be getting divorced right around 27...28.

    if you can't appreciate what you've got, how can you possibly be a happy enough person for people to want to be around? you're problems are problems many people wish they had.

    gee - you've got a stable job, live with mom and dad so you don't have to worry about bills, and you're single and 23.

    actually i wish i had that life.

    and on second thouight? why are you whining? you want to live on your own? establish yourself as a grownup, blah blah blah? then do it.

    it's not that hard - just say mom/dad i'm moving out - go put the deposit down on a new apartment, and boom, you're establishing your own life.
    Last edited by Tryska; 10-14-2003 at 03:06 PM.
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  3. #3
    is numero uno Saint Patrick's Avatar
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    You're life really isn't that bad. Look on the bright side, you could be one of those starving people in Ethiopia or dodge bombs in Israel or something.


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    Last edited by Saint Patrick; 10-14-2003 at 03:19 PM.
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  4. #4
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    " i once felt sorry for myself because i had no shoes....then i met a man who had no feet."


    or soemthing like that.
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  5. #5
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    Wow jeez Tryska.....Don't ever get into a serious conversation with me when I let out a cry for help lest I throw myself screaming from the top of a windmill...
    Man you have to live for what you have today. I know this now.
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    Newd poster SquareHead's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Nevermore
    Wow jeez Tryska.....Don't ever get into a serious conversation with me when I let out a cry for help lest I throw myself screaming from the top of a windmill...
    yeah well i've really not got much patience for woe is me stories, especially when those things can be easily fixed.

    and don't get me wrong - my heart bleeds for every last human being that believes there in pain - i just don't think one should be a victim to misery of their own making. this is false and contrived.

    come talk to me when you've had to leave your spouse under threat of death, with no money and the clothes on your back, and your kid, and have to live in a shelter until you can sort things out, oh yeah, and you've never held a job in your life.

    come talk to me when your house has burned down, or flooded, or you've been evicted cuz you got laid off and didn't have money for the mortgage.

    come talk to me when your wife has cheated on you with over 100 men and/or women, and you've now got a disease for life which you never asked for.


    or perhaps when your mom finally passes from cancer that she's battling for the last several years.


    and these were issues i've just heard since last friday.


    honey you want to talk about problems - i can show you tons of people with problems.
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  8. #8
    Newd poster SquareHead's Avatar
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    " I'd give up a pinky or a toe or something I don't need those"
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  9. #9
    WBB OG Silverback's Avatar
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    Tryska has an excellent point that you should be appreciating what you've got, but i think Tryska is biased considering she is a crack head and a big time hoe j/k

    Seriously though man, if you want more then quit whining and do something! otherwise it will never get done, if you want to meet a girl go out and look, girls aint gonna come to your house (with the exception of porn ) so get out there, just becuase you dont drink doesn't mean you can go to a club/bar.

    do what you gotta do man
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  10. #10
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  11. #11
    Senior Member CBates's Avatar
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    I was feeling the same way about 3 years ago when I was 21, I had no college degree, only had a few computer certifications, had a computer related job, but not making that much money, was a single full time father, still living with my mom, and no serious relationship. I felt like my life was going nowhere and would get seriously depressed about it. Well, about two years ago I finally moved out and got my own place (which made me feel a little better about myself, but still felt depressed); met a wonder woman, we've been living together for over a year, have a new daughter, getting married in March and I'm joining the Airforce. So if you just hang in there, you'll eventually find happiness. It took me until I was 23/24, but I finally found it and when we finally get married and I get into the airforce it will feel like my life will now seem like it has some kind of meaning.
    Last edited by CBates; 10-14-2003 at 03:50 PM.

  12. #12
    Wounded Deadlifter ryan1117's Avatar
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    Threads like this bother me and I'm not talking about the initial poster.
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  13. #13
    is numero uno Saint Patrick's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Tryska
    " i once felt sorry for myself because i had no shoes....then i met a man who had no feet."


  14. #14
    Equal Opportunity Offender Budiak's Avatar
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    I got you beat, pal. I'm only 22 and I'm already lost.

  15. #15
    is numero uno Saint Patrick's Avatar
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    Take Drugs. Lots of them.
    Last edited by Saint Patrick; 10-14-2003 at 04:03 PM.

  16. #16
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    He doesn't have to be homeless or blind or a Holocaust survivor to feel sad.

    of course, his problems don't sound very serious and could probably be solved easily but we've all gotten down on ourselves and made mountains out of mole hills at least once in our lives. the only reason he even bothered posting this was to get some advice. Perhaps its a bit melodramatic to describe the situation the way he did, but would he have been better off not asking anyone for advice on how to change, and live a life he doesn't like without complaint?

    on the other hand, its a lot easier to accept things the way they are, and complain to anyone who'll listen, than actually going out there and doing something about it. so long as you stay focused and committed, whatever you do usually works out.

    If i were you, i'd start making a goal or several goals every day, it all adds up over time. When you wake up every morning with a clear sense of what you want to accomplish, you'll be alot happier about life.
    Last edited by RisingPhoenix; 10-14-2003 at 04:32 PM.

  17. #17
    Jack's Utter Surprise Saturday Fever's Avatar
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    23 and single, eh?

    Here's what you do. You call up a buddy and you go to the local pub and you spend the whole night smoking cigars and talking like the old man from Sanford and Son. Of course this works out much better if you don't mind drinking and get halfway lit while you're there. If you go home that night and you're not laughing, then perhaps trouble is in the cards. Or maybe I once had a really warped sense of humor.

  18. #18
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    you can't set goals and say you will be happy THEN. you have to be happy now, and roll with the punches. otherwise you will never find any happiness.

    Tryska, just because someone elses cause of depression might not hold a candle to the endless bouts youve had that nobody can relate to, dosnt mean the answer is in sarcasm. If you have no empathy, so be it, then why not simply not post?
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    Wannabebig New Member
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    No offense bro but you sound like you want to go out and mix it up with some good partying but you got this hang up about drinking or partying .

    Get off your a$$ and go have a beer , meet some people , chill out and it will happen . Being married doesn't mean you got your sh*t together . Have fun dude ,it will end on that level someday.

    You are getting a good education , so what if you live at home . You need t start chilling out . You sound like you'd bitch about a free lunch . Have a beer it wil be ok .
    Give me your broken , give me your beaten ... I will build them up , I will lead them ... to the threshhold . Make you stronger , make you believe .

  20. #20
    Middle finger is my flag! budheavy's Avatar
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    have a beer...... no, no I would say have a case a day for a week. And hit the clubs up. 23 is too young to be worried about life. I kinda have the attitude of "F**K IT!" it will all work out. Btw my situation is identical and i mean identical to yours. Except I have an engineering degree and am working construction. Not my favorite job but it pays the bills. However I am moving out in 2 months to a college town..... woo hooo! As far as the ladies go someone said you got to find them because they dont come to your parents house. Thats right on. Ive had a couple serious relationships... they go bad.... F-it. Get back on game and get another one. Just be sure you dont head out to a bar looking and acting like the loser you are! haha jk.

    Ryan

    ps as you can tell from my avatar, i am a motherf**king PIMP! haha. maybe you dont want to take my advise.
    Last edited by budheavy; 10-14-2003 at 07:38 PM.
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    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
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    I disagree with the last two posts.

    Don't go out drinking and partying. That will only deepen the hole inside you.

    Tell you what you should do.

    Re-evaluate the way you look at the world.

    It was hard for me to deal with alot of things, until I really sat down and thought about the world around me. I wrote a sentence down on a piece of paper.

    "The individual defines everything."

    That is how I decided to approach the world. Little did I know that about a year later, I would discover that VERY sentence in the annals of existentialism.

    Bottom line is that I figured things out for myself. Then I found out that there were LOTS of other people that had arrived at the same conclusion I had, but with lots of variations.

    In order to TRULY be happy, you have to figure out what happiness is. It's different for everyone.

    Ask yourself what true happiness is, then ask if you honestly need to DO anything to achieve it. If the answer is yes, re-evaluate.

    Happiness is a state of mind, not a state of being.

    More power to you.
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  22. #22
    Skinny Fat John0101's Avatar
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    Set goals and make every effort to accomplish them. It sounds like you need some change in your life, living in that town sounds like a dead end, there is nothing holding you back from moving away except your job and your parents. You could try some new things...

    1) Go back to school and study something you always wanted
    2) Look for a job elsewhere and move to a new town/city
    3) Volunteer your time somewhere, YMCA, Big-Brother's Club, etc.

    I dunno, I hope this helps, I mean your only 23, there is a lot of things that you could be doing at this time.
    Life isn't like Burger King, you can't always have it your way.


  23. #23
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    Re: 23 years old and lost

    OK for the second time Stabber I swear you are my long lost brother man! Do you have AIM?

    I also feel like I'm "running out of time", every single day I feel this way, I've just never thought about asking anyone about it, kind of a personal thing you know. Unfortunately I don't know what I need to do to not feel this way you know? I mean, sure I could use a girlfriend, this is one of the obvious problems in my life, but I don't think that is what is missing for me...I don't know what to say man, I can't offer you any advice but I know exactly what you mean, and I know exactly where you are coming from, because I feel exactly the same way and I'm in exactly the same situation as you pretty much. If you figure it out let me know.

    Good post, good replies, especially Gyno's.

    Edit- I wouldn't say I'm depressed or anything btw heh.
    Last edited by Dedicated; 10-14-2003 at 08:52 PM.

  24. #24
    Skinny not scronny Stabber's Avatar
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    Thanks to everyone that responded. I feel a litte better after reading this. I don't know wha't missing. That's the problem. It's definitely not depression, although it may lead to that if this carries on. It would be fine if time wasnt against me. I'ms ure I felt this way when I was younger, but I felt I would have all the time in the world....Dedicated, my aim is rsebastLAN

    Thanks again everyone
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  25. #25
    Proud Father Maki Riddington's Avatar
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    There's nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself once in awhile. Just make sure it's 'once' in awhile.
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    So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
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