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Thread: Hilarious answers to G.C.S.E Exam questions!!!

  1. #1
    Bespoke Super Mod
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    Hilarious answers to G.C.S.E Exam questions!!!

    The following questions and answers were collated from
    last year's
    British GCSE exams. (16 year olds!).......seriously

    > > > >>> >> > > Q: Name the four seasons.
    > > > >>> >> > > A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
    A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
    large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: What is a planet?
    A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
    A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are
    well endowed.

    Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
    A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
    election.

    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A: Premature death.

    Q: What is artificial insemination?
    A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised?
    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium,
    the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

    Q: What is the Fibula?
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does "varicose" mean?
    A: Nearby.

    Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
    A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a
    condominium.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
    A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What is a seizure?
    A: A Roman emperor.

    Q: What is a terminal illness?
    A: When you are sick at the airport.

    Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they
    look like umbrellas.

    Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
    A : Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Q : What is a turbine?
    A : Something an Arab wears on his head.
    "A + B + C = Success if, A = Hard Work, B = Hard Play, C = Keeping your mouth shut" -Albert
    Einstein


    I've always gone to the gym with the conviction that I'll be the hardest working mother****er in the joint. Make that your credo, and hope we don't lift at the same place.
    -- Adam Fahy


    "Fran is a double-hard bastard"- Clint Brewer 31/12/02

  2. #2
    MA's Bionic Creation syntekz's Avatar
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    LOL.

  3. #3
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    *roflmao*

    okay...that just made my day....granted it doesn't take much, but still....haha!
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  4. #4
    Gaglione Strength Chris Rodgers's Avatar
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    Bwahahahahah. Dumb Brits
    Best Meet Lifts(Raw w/wraps):
    @165- 435 SQ 270 BE 560 DL.....1255 total
    @181- 535 SQ 300 BE 570 DL.....1400 total
    Best Meet Lifts(Multi-ply):
    @148- 575 SQ 315 BE 515 DL.....1400 total
    @165- 680 SQ 380 BE 540 DL.....1555 total
    @181- 700 SQ 375 BE 535 DL.....1605 total
    Best Gym Lifts(Raw w/wraps)
    545 SQ 305 BE 585 DL

  5. #5
    Hmmmm..... Spiderman's Avatar
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    hahahahaha.....LMFAO

    "Success is never behind you, it is always, always in front of you."

  6. #6
    Senior Member Avatar's Avatar
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    lol, I felt myself getting stupider reading that.
    "They will spend their nights dreaming of six-pack
    abs and a rock hard physique, little do they realize eventually we will reach
    our goal and they will be dreaming of the body we walk around with every
    day…only then will they understand." -- Severed Ties

    "There are 6 billion people in this world, and I'm #1." -- me

  7. #7
    clueless wonder
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    hah.. good ones..

    reminds me of some answers from the game show : Family Feud

    Name something a blind person might use - A sword
    A number you have to memorize - 7
    Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters
    Something you do before going to bed - Sleep
    Something you open other than a door - Your Bowels
    Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings

  8. #8
    Senior Member Hot Shot's Avatar
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    lol
    upper chest freak

  9. #9
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

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